When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

[Suni]

Hi Guys,

Up till now I have put all my efforts into being 100 per cent comitted to my goal and I'm now well into week 6. Though the comittment is still there I'm just having feelings of -Ok, now I've done it. I have proved that I can stop and the novelty has worn off. It's no longer a thrill that I've stopped and no-one else is noticing either.
I'm not complaining as such. I fully expected that I would periods like this and it's part of the journey. I mean you get good and bad days whether drinking or not and I accept that it's about applying everything I know and getting on with life without a constant round of applause. :H
I thought though, that it might be an idea to start a thread for people like me who have stopped for a period of time and who are asking what they do when the thrill has gone!
Be like a little boost for them to keep going. Maybe a way of reminding people how far they have come and why they did it in the first place?
What do you guys think?

[Doggygirl]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Hi Suni. Not sure if this helps, but it seems that the "pink cloud" of sobriety when I seemed to stay sober on enthusiasm alone wore off at about 60 days. I think it's really common for people to go through this - seems anywhere from the 30 to 90 day mark.

I think of it like a relationship. There is the WOW and sizzle when you first date someone you really like. While that initial excitement can fade a bit, in a GOOD relationship it is replaced by something calmer but more lasting.

Working on personal growth and really making serious changes to my life and the quality therein seems to be the "calmer and more lasting" factor for me.

Good thread topic as always Suni!

DG

[Raven.joy]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

I am AF again after going through this very thing and relapsing. I felt that 'I have done it' feeling and started to believe I could have the odd one, within days back to same old same old. Worse if anything the break had lowered my tolerance and my body felt even more battered. Now I am happy to have dragged myself back on the wagon. If the novelty begins to wear off again, I will remember what happened last time.

[Grateful]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Suni - great thread! I have been wondering why I'm not so upbeat like many others here even though I am into my 7th week......I think DG has the answer. I know I need to work on my own personal growth-but have just lacked the motivation. I am such a homebody - I hate going anywhere but home after work(especially in the dark) and I know I need to go back to Curves where I still have a membership. I guess I need a kick or push..........I just have no energy.

[AAthlete]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

To me, there is danger in letting my guard down and thinking that I have completed my journey. The minute that I think I have this thing licked is when I open that door just the tiniest of bits, and my old friend AL is just waiting to slide on through the crack.

Scary to think that I've known people who were sober for 15 years, started drinking again, and it was 15 more years before they were able to stop again... Or my sponsor who was sober for two years and did it 'by the book', and is now out there drinking and out of the program altogether... It is stories like that that remind me I am only a drink away from being right back where I started...

[drylifeahead]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Suni, a very timely thread you've started for me.
I was JUST last night talking to my sponsor about this very thing...and the struggles? of getting used to this life I love.
The brain saying 'see, you can do this. Have a drink, enjoy yourself, and then stop again...not so hard, is it?'
Except it is hard...sometimes seems easy..the last 7 weeks 'seem' to have slipped by quickly, except it really was ODAT.

My sponsor looked at me with a slightly raised eye brow and asked 'do you smoke' Yes...(Going for the quit this past Monday)
"What made you start agin?"
I answered I went to the Bahamas with friends...long story short-thought I'd be ok with a few.
"How long ago was that?" she asked
15 years ago. *groan*

Yes, the bloom is off for myself as well. Actually, today I'm in a rather grumpy mood. For some odd reason, I am not as excited anymore
about this whole prospect either (thanks, don't feel so alone), except at night, when I've signed off on yet another day of sobriety.
Knowing tomorrow I will face another day of trials and tribulations with a clear head and steady hands...and NO guilt for giving in.


I also think doggygirl said it best when comparing it to a new relationship. It just can not go on being this exciting. Oh for sure
many moments in the day are filled with the WOW I don't drink anymore. I love those moments, and I also love the peaceful
feeling inside of not stressing over the drink like I did.

Like you I am still 100% committed. I read those threads that remind me of where I came from, and where I could end up if I
slip up even once. Not as 'exciting' anymore, kinda old news now for those close to me, but it's ok....I can live with that.

DLA:h:l

[Marshy]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

I can't add anything to these replies because the novelty hasn't worn off for me. Yes, there are bad days as well as good but it still feels amazing that I don't drink - and weird and odd too.

Suni;764239 wrote: I accept that it's about applying everything I know and getting on with life without a constant round of applause. :H

But I thought you definitely deserve a round of applause!
:wd::wd::wd:

[boozehag]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

The initial euphoria of making the break from AL does wear off after a while but that just means you are probably ready for the next stage which is creating your new life whatever that is or means to each one of us. That next stage can be equally rewarding once you get into it iand in fact it is WAY better than the initial euphoria because it is more real - it is life. It takes a while though and a good idea is to find a challenge that you would never have been able to do while drinking and committ to it with others if necessary and give yourself a new focus for all that energy that used to be taken up with drinking/recovering etc with a BIG reward at the end.
M

[dancelot]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

If you need a new thrill, try a new thrill, just don't drink (or indulge in anything self destructive). Remember the thrill in drinking is that first one, then it's totally downhill from there. Remember none of us stopped drinking for the rush of sobriety. It is a nice extra motivator in the beginning, but maybe is a little like new romance. Some fizzle fast, and the truly good ones last. Not as exciting as at first, but good, comfortable and something you like having in your life, and can't imagine living without.

I do try to emphasize positive thoughts, gratitude, etc. This is not because I'm Miss Merry Sunshine. This is more a deliberate retraining of mental patterns and habits. In my early life I was taught the glass was half full, something horrible was waiting around every corner, you could not trust anyone, including your friends and your teachers,everyone was out to get you, you must constantly watch your back, you will be raped and killed after someone slips acid in your drink and destroys your mental capacity, and the only hope you have of surviving is by living in constant fear. Also you will never have control over any of it. Between that and my chaotic home life, maybe that explains why I found the escape of alcohol so attractive.

Back on topic, I think when we are sober we can see and feel things we've been numb to for maybe a very long time. Maybe we used AL to fill an empty place in our lives. Maybe we don't even remember what it is. I continue to try (as I did in the first AF days especially), to fill time by doing meaningful things that will improve my life, such as keeping up the exercise and healthy eating habits, making a point to show gratitude every day, no matter how crappy I feel. Life is not always exciting, it's not always good, but to me the concept of being grateful, giving more weight to what we have as opposed to what we don't has altered my consciousness 180 degrees.

One thing to watch also is, could this be the AL voice sneaking up on us again? Hey, maybe my learned paranoia is actually gonna be helpful! :H

[momof3]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

I will echo what everyone else has said. Once the relief, excitement, pink cloud has worn off, it can be a bit of a let down. And, it can be a time where you are vulnerable to drinking again.

I found this to be a really important time to work hard at making changes in my life so I would not ever want to go back to drinking and the "way it used to be." I created a list of goals for myself and committed myself to doing things I could not do when I was drinking.

Like DG, I stepped up my exercise program and diet and lost a lot of weight. I also became very involved in my community and in doing community service. I now have more energy than I know what to do with and there is no room for alcohol in my life

M3

[Lavande]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Tomorrow will be 8 months AF for me!
Yes, the thrill wore off quite a while ago. I likened it to the 'let down' I felt after the wedding & honeymoon were over!

I've made a habit of spending about a minute thinking about how lousy I was before I quit drinking - then suddenly, I'm happy again

I'm with AAthlete, I'm just one drink away from being right back where I started.........

[Starlight Impress Forever]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Well, the novelty wore off for me when I was 5 months sober, when I repeatedly felt a tiny little spark of `something` eating away at me, until I began spouting how I would never consider I`d beaten drink until I could take it or leave it.............

Toyed with that idea for a couple of weeks and I felt my `bravado` going from strength to strength. From there, all it took was for something sad to happen in my life and I decided I would have JUST ONE glass of wine at a family gathering. Ahermmm...........2-3 BOTTLES of wine later saw me blacked out drunk......... Don`t be fooled..........6 weeks sober/5 months sober..........doesn`t matter how long sober..........there is no such thing as JUST THE ONE............most of us would drink as of old if foolish enough to have that first drink.

Seriously, I think many of us think it will be different for us and that we will be the exception to the rule.............I thought so, or rather, `convinced` myself that I was over it, only to find............I wasn`t over it at all and my 5 months of sobriety went down the pan along with all that wine when I puked it up.

I foolishly `tested the water` when 5 months sober and almost instantly found myself in a whirl pool. I quit drinking again the very next day, thanks to the support of some dear friends at MWO and especially Don/Chief.

I`ll be 2 years sober on 16th January and the novelty of quitting drinking has now well and truly worn off, but the novelty of anything new wears off over time. What you have to do is not think so much in terms of any novelty wearing off..........you have to think in terms of opportunities arising. Quitting drinking opens up a whole new world and I simply love mine..........

Star x

[drylifeahead]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Thanks Star!!

Along with all the great successful members posts I read, I also very much appreciate the warnings. I know I can never test whether I can control it...tried entirely too many times before I found this site. There's no 'fooling' me now (although it keeps trying) , and I'll remember your story for quite some time. I'm so glad for you it was only one night, and that you took control again. :l:l

DLA :h

[drylifeahead]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Lavande;764452 wrote: Tomorrow will be 8 months AF for me!
Yes, the thrill wore off quite a while ago. I likened it to the 'let down' I felt after the wedding & honeymoon were over!

I've made a habit of spending about a minute thinking about how lousy I was before I quit drinking - then suddenly, I'm happy again

I'm with AAthlete, I'm just one drink away from being right back where I started.........

And congratulations Lavande on 8 months!!!!!
Remember when you were counting the days...the weeks?
Now 8 months! Fantastic :l:l

DLA :h

[byebyebridgetjones]

When The Novelty Wears Off Thread......

Thanks for starting this thread Suni. This phenomenon is my biggest hurdle. But you've all given me a lot to think about.
Bridge