Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: We had a business meeting last night after the regular meeting...only a few of us. I'm the secretary for that group. It feels good being a part of something that contributes to my emotional & spiritual well-being. We'll be having a New Year's Day potluck which I think will bring in the new year w/peace, sobriety, & camaraderie. I hope all is well w/you. I'll be back in touch. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Hello Mary and thanks for getting us going for the new week! I totally agree that it feels good to get involved beyond just going to meetings. I'm the treasurer for one of my home groups and there is something about the little bit of extra responsibility that strengthens my committment to the program, which is good for me. A New Years pot luck sounds like fun! And with you on the committee - well - I want to come!

My normal Monday business leads group thing was not held today due to the holiday weekend. So I ended up going to my usual frightfully early 5AM meeting over where Sister lives, and then to one of my home group meetings at 7AM. :H If you would have told me a year ago I'd be at not one, but TWO AA meetings before 8AM I would have laughed harder than the smilie! In the early meeting we talked about this part of the 24 Hour reading.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

We have slips in A.A. It has been said these are not slips
but premeditated drunks, because we have to think about
taking a drink before we actually take one. The thought always
comes before the act. It has been suggested that people
should always get in touch with an A.A. before taking that
first drink. The failure to do so makes it probable that
they decided to take the drink anyway. And yet the thoughts
that come before taking a drink are often largely
subconscious. People usually don't know consciously what
made them do it. Therefore, the common practice is to call
these things slips. Am I on guard against wrong thinking?

Of course I took advantage of a moment to mention how I don't like to use the word "slip" as it pertains to ME making a decision to drink. I described my choice to drink after my first 60 days sober, and the 8 months of sheer hell trying to get back on the wagon that followed. That was a relapse for sure. But semantics aside, EVERYONE at the table, without exception confirmed that they have thoughts of "just one drink" despite the HARD FACT that we all spent a very long time - many years for most of us - trying to "control" our alcohol intake, and could not. I still can't believe that stinkin' thinkin' seemed so logical and rational and DOABLE (despite years worth of evidence to the contrary) back when I decided to drink. I sure know better now. I can't stop the thoughts but I don't have to act on them.

Link to the readings: Daily Recovery Readings

One man who is fairly new in sobriety thanked me for sharing that after 60 sober days, it took 8 months for me to get back on the wagon when I chose to drink. Sounds like maybe this mornings discussion topic might have been timely for him. I hope messages that I need to hear will always be so timely for me!

A man that I really like and learned from since going to AA passed away yesterday. He was sober for 10+ years after a lifetime of struggle with AL. Unfortunately, that damage to his body was just too great. Even after 10+ sober years he had problems, and his liver failed yesterday. He leaves behind a legacy of helping other alcoholics, and I will especially remember him for participating in the 12 Step / 12 Tradition meetings and his explanations of the traditions. He felt so strongly about the traditions being important for all of us to learn for the continuity of the AA program for future generations. RIP Joe.

This program teaches me new things every day. I'm glad that some unkown something humbled me enough to want to take these steps.

DG

ETA: Sister gave me a medallian today for my 1.5 year anni last week. It has praying hands on one side and the serenity prayer, which I love, on the other side. One of her sponsors gave it to her and now she passed it to me. That makes it extra special! I will put it on my keychain and then someday pass it along to one of my sponsees.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

DG: How wonderful of Sister to do that. It amazes me the types of people (in your case, a Catholic nun) who become alcoholics. It just amazes me! This weekend my husb will be going on a retreat w/some of our new AA guy friends. I'm sure the priests leading the retreat are recovering alcoholics. This fact just confirms to me that alcoholism is indeed a disease & can strike anyone.

I read that selection you quoted about slips. At least once @ week, someone (even long-time members) will say that they still sometimes succomb to the "maybe I'll have just one" thinking. I haven't thought that yet, but I've been going through some hard times in my personal life, as well as the holiday season stressors. I KNOW what I'd be doing this time last year. I'd be drinking & then adding that on top of everything else. At least in sobriety I can deal w/issues. One of my woman friends in program who is 20+ years sober considers herself the same as the alcoholic who has 24 hrs. In fact, she feels she might be closer to her next drink, because complacency is such a strong factor when you're sober a long time.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Hi Mary and anyone else who is just lurking!

Mary, I find it amazing that I really don't have that stinkin' thinkin' these days. Maybe a passing thought if a drive by a billboard with a "glammed up" ad or something. But nothing even CLOSE to a thought that is "near action." I'm not totally sure why this is but I think it might be due to getting and staying very involved in AA. And a bit of it is "work" but in a good way. Like going to school and learning something you are interested to learn. And the rest of it is just good human relationship building which gets better and better all the time.

Today's meeting was "open topic" and one of the guys suggested a topic of having faith in good times and bad. Our homeless friend will not be at these early morning meetings much due to the arrival of winter, but he was quoted. HF often says "it's easy to have faith when times are good but not so easy when we need it the most - during hard times." As a newcomer to this program and a student at the beginning level, I realize that my own faith is weak most of the time. When times are good I tend to forget all about it, and when times are bad I tend to think that bad times = "there is no God" or certainly not one who has a good plan for me. Just made me think about how far I have yet to go! These people do amaze me though. There are several "regulars" in this group that are big burly union guys in the trades. I'm sure that every one of them bottled up their "real" selves inside for years in that environment. (no crying, no showing emotions, no talking about feelings, etc.) It really touched me today when one of these guys had this quote to share:

Love is what takes the sting out of the wind of adversity.

I've never been one to openly talk about "love" either. At least not with anyone other than Mr. Doggy or family, and then it's mostly just saying "I love you" without much thought behind it. At any rate, I really like that quote and it sure made me think about how much I'm starting to really care about so many of these people who I am getting to know through our common problem and solution.

Sponsee #1 had back surgery today. Her sis called me when it was over to let me know everything went OK. She commented on the positive changes she is seeing in her little sis. When she tried to thank me, it felt so good and true and right to just say "it's HER doing - she is working the program from the heart and this is just what happens for people..." I'm so glad she is part of my life. She is really growing on me. Assuming I stay involved in AA for the long haul, I suspect there will be multiple sponsees and every relationship won't evolve like this one seems to be evolving. But that's OK too. I'm starting to understand what the old timers mean when they say "thank your sponsees because they help keep you sober."

Anyway, those are my random observations from today!

Thinking of Cinders, WF, PP, Phil, Corkey, Okey and all the folks who post here sometimes! Let us know how you are doing!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

DG: It's so interesting reading about the homeless AA in your group. If anyone has a reason to not have faith, to complain, &/or relapse, it would be he. He really proves that it's not what's on the outside that counts. I also liked hearing about your sponsee's sister's call. How wonderful!

Last night we had dinner w/our daughter & family. It was one of those evenings that just melded together perfectly wo/my planning & engineering it. I got a couple of small pork roasts on the fly & cooked them. The food was great, & the kids just thrived on all the positive energy. In AA, I've been trained to notice those wonderful moments that just "work out." It's gratifying provides me w/something special to add to my gratitude list.

I hope everyone is OK. Cindi, you're probably on the road. Be careful. Phil, you too.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Greetings from my home office! Yeah, hard to believe.
Last weekend I went to Kansas for a 40th class reunion. I did it all without drinking. But the crazy thing that happened while driving the 6 hours home, my brain went "gee Phil, you did great this weekend, you deserve a beer, let's pick up a six pack of Bud, ok?"

YIKES! Cunning, baffling and powerful (I like patient too, maybe that is part of cunning). Well I fought it off and made it another day sober.
I think the hardest part would have been going to my 630am meeting the next day (Tues) and having to re-establish sobriety. We all know that the group would welcome me back without comment, but gosh, I just didn't want to experience that.

And of course six beers would not have been enough...
Hope everyone is doing fine and staying sober (if you so choose).

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Good for you Phil!
I finished my 9th step while I was home for Thanksgiving and YES...I am feeling the promises
As I was sitting next to my father's grave, and contemplating what to say to him, I felt in my heart that all he would care about is that I am right with my HP so I turned my conversation to Him and as I began to make amends to God, I felt such peace and serenity, I can't even express the gratitude and love that came over me.
So now I know a new peace and happiness. I do not wish to shut the door on the past. I comprehend the word serenity. I see how my experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity has disappeared. Self-seeking is slipping away and I am gaining interest in my fellows. My whole attitude and outlook on life has changed and God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Mary, your description of the nice evening that just "came together" with your family brought a smile to my face. It's so nice when good things happen in and effortless sort of way. So much better than all the contriving and conniving of past times. And yes, my homeless friend has really turned some of my perceptions upside down. I miss him already and might have to go to a later meeting now and then to try to catch up with him and his little dog. (it's a lot more effort for him to pack up his overnight camping stuff in the winter so it's harder for him to make the earlier meetings...)

Phil - good for you getting through that reunion AND getting home through the cunning voice. I could HEAR that voice in my own head as you described it. I have that same voice. At least that voice is much quieter now so keep the faith! I can so relate to "six wouldn't be enough."

Okey - just WOW. What a beautiful transformation you are experiencing! I am so glad that you come here and share your journey with us. So happy for you that the promises are coming true in your life.

Yesterdays meeting was a very good one based on the Daily Reflections reading. I was chairing so gave the lead, and the reading was about "Serenity" which I have a LOT more of since going to AA, and it really really helps my sobriety. I was reminded of a time in a meeting where the man who passed last Sunday said something very powerful involving a quote from the Big Book which applied to yesterdays topic. So several people ended up sharing things this man had said to them along the way. It was like his inspiration and wisdom lives on even though he is not there in the flesh any more. That is really something to experience.

I probably won't make a meeting today or tomorrow - not usual for me to miss two days in a row. I will be ready for the Big Book study by Saturday!

Strength and hope to all. I love this thread.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Oh - another story from yesterdays meeting that gave me pause for thought. One man struggled for many years to get sober. He had sober times but many, many relapses. He kept trying to do it "his own way" which kept not working. He described something this long term sponsor tried to get through his head a long, long time ago.

Whatever you treat as more important than your sobriety, you will lose.

This man lost his family, his business, his money - all of his "stuff" that he kept putting in front of his sobriety.

That quote gave me something to think about...

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Hi friends!!

Yes, I am on the road. But I am doing okay.

I have an interview today with a new company. It would mean much less travel. Mostly working from home. A lot less money, too, but I will take it.

I have traveled for 12 years and it is time to get out of that nightmare. It is time for me to concentrate on me for a while. I know it sounds selfish but it isn't. I have a loving family around me and I want to enjoy them. Their love does take the sting out of adversity. I like that quote a lot.

My last meeting was a BB meeting and we started on the Chapter To The Agnostics. A good place for me to read. :-)

It is so good to hear you are doing so well, Oky.

Mary, DG, Phil and everyone else, much love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Phil: I've heard similar stories to yours many times over at meetings. We get through a reunion, wedding, party, etc. only to have the drinking thoughts afterward. I too have had the AA group be the one factor that stops me from drinking. To have to confess would be difficult to say the least. Also, I haven't dealt w/a hangover in quite a while. I'm sure it would be harder than ever. Good for you!

Cindi: I don't know how you've done it... the traveling. I don't like to be away from home even for pleasure. You'll know how to change your life when the time is right. I'm glad you're doing well.

Okey: Your post was wonderful. Yes, for me, the 9th step was single most important step. I do feel the promises, even when going through hard times. However, when I first did the 9th, I was so relieved & grateful, the pink cloud lasted a long, long time. I'm now able to take life "on life's terms" more readily. It's not always going to be easy, but I have tools now.

DG: I put my sobriety first ODAT. Without it I have nothing: no joy, no self-esteem, no way of living life properly.

Mary

[drylifeahead]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Wow, I haven't been to an AA meeting for over a week.

Feels like I'm skipping school. Bad girl!

Lots of good talk on this thread...nice job! Will come back and read closer this eve.

DLA :l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Missing meetings. The middle of the week is hard for me. I usually go Thurs. - Sun. Then I have meetings on Mon. & Tues. that I try to make. But, I too feel funny when a few days go by wo/a meeting. I don't feel like drinking, but I do feel a little disconnected. For me, meetings are important in terms of:
-hearing the message of spirituality.
-putting sobriety first above all else.
-hearing other peoples' experience, strength, & hope.

Again, I have to make sure my sobriety is my #1 priority.
-Wo/it I cannot appreciate anything else in my life.
-Wo/it my problems loom larger than they are.
-Wo/it my thinking isn't what it should be.

Mary

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Hi All,
Just a quick share...Mary you just reminded me of an acronym my sponsor gave me. SLIP stands for Sobriety Loses It's Priority. It really does have to be # 1 in my life because I would lose all I have gained if I started drinking again.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Nov. 30 - Dec. 6

Hi again DLA and Okey! I love the Sobriety Loses Its Priority meaning. THAT is a version of "slip" I can identify with.

Cinders, it's great to *see* you! I'm SO happy to hear about the interview that might get you off the road. As a former road warrier, I honestly don't know how you have done it for 12 years. YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH!!!! There are trade offs in life and money is certainly not the end all do all be all of all things. You are not being selfish by wanting a job that will keep you home more with your family to engage in that important side of your life. The fact that it pays less is something I'm sure you and your family will adjust to. I'll be rooting for you Cindi!

Mary, I'm feeling that "missing meetings" thing. Friday is the one day I generally do not go (so I was not at a meeting this morning) and yesterday I had to miss due to a schedule conflict. Of course if I felt the absolute need, I could and would find other ones to attend! As it is I'm certainly not close to drinking, but I AM feeling less than my current average level of serenity. And I know it's not because of whatever is happening in life. "Life" happens whether I attend meetings or not, drink or not, etc. But the meetings are part of my serenity and I'm looking forward to the one tomorrow morning!

Sponsee #1's surgery went fine. Recovery from back surgery just takes time, and there are inherent challenges for someone addicted to prescription medications having no choice but to be on some of them for at least a short time post surgery. All I can do as her sponsor is try to keep HER focused on what is most important re: the drug issues (i.e. SHE is never to have any of them in her hot little hands!) and also help her family understand that this is a very difficult situation for her and hope they can muster up a bit of patience. I feel very good about doing something for someone else these days. LOL yesterday I was about to recommend 3 AA meetings a day to the whole family. :H

A week from today I will be going over Step 11 with my sponsor. Taking baby steps even now to apply these steps in my life is really helping me understand their value. I can see myself doing the steps over and over again because the "tools for living" are making a big difference in my life. I have NEVER been able to handle day to day living so calmly. NEVER. It's miracle.

Strength and hope to all!