Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

[Doggygirl]

Hi everyone! Here is the link to the Daily Readings , The Big Book Online and How to find an AA meeting in case anyone needs them.

Phil, I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. It is so hard to watch people suffering and not be able to do anything to "fix" it. Glad to hear you are getting right back on track and not letting a bad choice to drink lead to a LOOOOOONG problem. It's always good to have you post here with us no matter what.

At Saturdays Big Book study we read the story "My Chance to Live" which is on page 309 of the Big Book. I had not read that one before. When we first started reading it, I thought I would not relate to much of it since it involves a teenager who got sober very early in her life. WRONG. While her trip to her bottom took many less years than my trip to my bottom did, we experienced many of the same things physcially and emotionally. Even many of the men in the meeting related closely to much of what this girl had to say. It was a good meeting.

I also like the 12 & 12 meeting on Sundays. Yesterday was a reading and discussion of Step 5. The group was small but VERY engaged in the discussion and it ended up being a great meeting. I realized something new about one of the things I admitted during my own Step 5 (round 1) - one of the two things I did NOT want to confess. I realized yesterday that one of the issues for me was believing that this thing could never be forgiven. I am glad I chose to include this issue in my Step 5 as with Sisters coaching and feedback, I DO believe I have been forgiven. If I had not talked to Sister about that thing, I would still be carrying around that secret AND the belief that there is an unforgiveable offense in my baggage. I'm glad I am not walking around with that belief any more!

I planned on going to the 5AM meeting this morning as I normally do on Monday's, but I turned around and came back home due to the snow. It's not real deep (yet) but is coming down at a pretty good clip, and the roads were not yet salted. I'll be leaving again soon for my Monday business stuff and I hope the roads are a little better by now!

Have a great day all. Strength and hope to all who need some today!

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

hi doggy lady,something i lerned in AA over the last 10 years , and also buy going to treatment was step 5 is a great step , as are all of them,you have to forgive yourself 1st,sobriety is about you, you will realise tht one day as you dabble into AA over the years,have a great day gyco

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Hi DG, Phil, & Everyone to come:

Phil, I'm so sorry about your brother. Yes, it's good you called your sponsor. Seeking out that kind of accountability is what will keep you sober. There are sections in the first part of the Big Book about relapsing & slips. I read them w/my group, & it helps to put things into perspective. Keep going forward the best you can. You're doing fine. Remember that your brother has a HP who is watching over him.

DG: I've heard the saying "You're only as sick as your secrets." Anything I keep hidden can eventually bring me back to drinking. I thank God for the 5th & 9th steps where it can all come out.

My husb went to the AA retreat this weekend. He enjoyed it, but he did say that he felt a little out of place, as he was the only non-alcoholic there. However, he really came to an understanding about my disease. Because I was fairly functional, he didn't realize the gravity of it. Nor did he realize how difficult it is for an alcoholic to stop drinking. His attitude was: "You have a problem w/drinking? Then just stop drinking." Like it's as easy as that. He now knows the thinking processes we have when we're around alcohol. All in all, it was a good experience for him.

His experience (& taking a look at the schedule of talks & events) got me thinking I'd like to go on a retreat like that: talks, prayer, meditation, camaraderie. I called a woman friend in program, & we're going to look for something similar for women. I know we'd have a great time.

Anyhow, that's it for now. I have plenty of challenges in my life: parents, children, g-children, dog, etc. However, I'm meeting them sober. That is one of the most satisfying accomplishments that this program has given me.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Gyco - you are right - forgiving myself was really hard.

Mary, great post as always. I too am thinking that a retreat would be fun come spring/summer next year. There are a handful of folks at the club where I go who seem to always be going somewhere for some AA related event. They seem to have a good time and next year I hope to get more involved.

It sounds like last weekend really was good for your husband. It really is difficult for someone who has never been addicted to anything to really understand what the "grip of addiction" is like. I know what you mean about the folks who say "well, if it's such a problem than why don't you just stop?" OH if only it were that easy! I'm so happy for you that he is willing to learn more about alcoholism and what it's like for you. I'm sure that helps him support you in the best possible way, and must be a + for your relationship.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Greetings all,
It was a very humbling experience at my 630am meeting to admit my slip. For a Monday, it was a well attended meeting, about 20 people, so that made it a little scary. But once again, I am amazed by AA. The people care so much for one another and I'm so glad I made it back so soon.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Hi Phil. Mr. Doggy and I were just talking about that over the weekend - how caring the AA people are on whole. What a good bunch of people. And what a bunch of ass hats many of us used to be. Proof that people really CAN change I guess.

I'm really glad you came right back Phil. Onward with new knowledge.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Phil: Your post was heart-warming. Of course they were caring of you...you're one of them. It is so great that you got your courage up & spoke about the slip. In some of my groups, people just disappear. Maybe they have a slip & are afraid to admit it...then one thing leads to another, & they're off & running (w/the bottle) again. I won't let that happen to me, & you didn't let that happen to you. Whenever I read the Big Book, I'm always amazed at the tolerance in there for people's struggles. Bill W. certainly was a visionary.

I just got back from my women's meeting. It's a tightly knit group of young women, many of whom live in a sober house in the same community. I feel I don't fit in & look for excuses not to go. But...going to that meeting is just exactly what I need to do. Whenever I feel a resistance to doing something or calling someone, I try to see beneath the resistance. There's usually some fear lurking there. There is a young woman who goes to this particular meeting that is a former student from the school I taught at. Whenever I see her, my insecurities of "what does she think of me?" rear their ugly heads. Tonight, she made a point of saying "hi Mary." One of these days, I'm going to talk to her about this.

My AA program is becoming less about not drinking & more about facing my fears in life. I can see that now. A few weeks back, one of our discussions was on "facing life on life's terms." This is something most alcoholics are not very good at, since we drank instead of working through issues. It's not easy.

Anyhow, I'm feeling quite pleased w/myself right now.

Love, Mary

PS: In a way, MWO is a kind of cyber diary. It helps me process the thoughts in my head.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

DG: "Ass hats?" That's a new one for me. I laughed when I saw that. You are such a little pistol. Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Hi All, just checking in after being away for almost 2 weeks. It was tough to be in Las Vegas and see all the AL around. Felt sorry for myself one evening, but didn't drink. My husband was supportive, but doesn't really understand the grip AL can have on us.
Too busy to get to any meetings, so glad to get back to one tonight back at home.

Thanks for still being here. I have a lot to catch up on.

Winefree

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

My husband was supportive, but doesn't really understand the grip AL can have on us.

I understand that, WF. No one who does not have our "disease" understands it.

Glad you are back home safe and sound.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Cindi: So nice to see you here, & yes, I too understand that non-alcoholics just don't realize that grip. I think my husb got a little better view of the whole problem by going on that AA retreat. There were lots of talks & stories from the leaders of the retreat. I kept my drinking pretty well hidden & functioned fairly well. He was somewhat oblivious to the more dire affects that drinking had over me. Yes, I had some really bad incidents, but my husb was in denial too. I guess he just didn't want to see & admit how bad I was. If I had not found MWO & AA, he would have had to see the affects. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, & I, no doubt, would have continued to get worse.


Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Hello all! Cindi, it's wonderful to see you. From your avatar and title thingy (whatever that is called next to your avatar) it seems you are getting very excited for Christmas! Hope you are having an enjoyable holiday season. How is it going with the job situation? (interview)

WF - welcome back and congrats on surviving TWO WEEKS in Vegas AL free. Yikes is all I can say about the thought of 2 weeks in Vegas under any circumstances! Don't worry about catching up if you are busy - just jump right back in today!

Mary, MAN can I relate to your story about how the one former student makes you uncomfortable and might by why you "don't like that particular meeting." I too am just starting to learn to dig deep when I am avoiding things or tempted to "white lie" about something. I MUST figure out what I'm avoiding and deal with it. I am so much more content when I do! I would have no clue about this without actively working the steps and I am REALLY grateful to be learning how to deal with life on life's terms rather than avoid and drink, or avoid and ?????? (bottle things up until they explode some other way!)

I really liked the 24 hour reading today, especially this part:

The length of time of our sobriety is not as important as
the quality of it. A person who has been in A.A. for a number
of years may not be in as good mental condition as a person
who has only been in a few months. It is a great
satisfaction to have been an A.A. member for a long time
and we often mention it. It may sometimes help the newer
members, because they may say to themselves, if they can do
it I can do it. And yet the older members must realize
that as long as they live they are only one drink away
from a drunk. What is the quality of my sobriety?

I always need to remember that indeed, I am one drink away from a drunk just the same as someone with 24 hours of sobriety, or someone with 24 years of sobriety. I will never matter where I am on that path - the one drink away rule will always apply. It will be the same tomorrow as it is today.

The meeting this morning was good. It was open topic and the guy who volunteered the lead is someone I really like and respect. He talked about how much his life has changed since getting sober. He hadn't lost everything yet, but like you said Mary - was heading in the wrong direction. If he had kept on, he thinks he WOULD have lost his business, his wife, his relationship with his adult children, which would have taken the grand kids out of his life too. He also talked about the old drinking buddies and how he *thought* those were meaningful relationships. He said that today, he realizes that his past relationships that centered only around drinking were not really relationships at all. He talked about the friendships he has developed with other AA's that go far deeper in his life than just the time spent together around the tables. It was a good message of gratitude that made me think...and put me on a good track to start the day.

I'm learning so much about myself in AA, and ways to mend what is broken. I treasure that, and all of you who share your experiences here.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Hi all! It's a zoom zoom day but I really feel compelled to share a story from todays AA meeting. A guy who is I think somewhere between 6 and 9 months sober told a story about something that happened last night as he was driving his 5 year old daughter to a roller skating party. She started asking questions about when / if she would someday fall in love and get married. :H LOL this guy clearly wasn't ready for THAT conversation from his FIVE year old!! But anyway, at some point she said "Will I marry somebody just like you, Daddy?" and I tell you - I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. This guy was having trouble just getting the story out he was so choked up.

He said his thoughts were VIVID about how it was, what happened, and how it is now. I'm not sure how he answered that question to his daughter. But what he said to us is that he hopes she someday marries a man like the "now" him and not like the "drunk" him. It was easy to see that this moment with his daughter will be burned on his brain - probably forever.

It's wonderful to see the change in people. The humble gratitude he showed for being sober and for being able to BE a daddy to his little girl.

Miracles do happen.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

Everyone:

I've found that AA's 12 steps are a great guide for living. Last night before I went to sleep, I read pages of Daily Meditations at random. I read about emotional sobriety which is what I'm working on now that drinking isn't constantly a pressure I have to deal with. For me, emotional sobriety means living a life of "self-examination" as it's stated in the DM book. I've also read in the BB that every single time we get upset or hurt, we have a part in it. That's where self-examination comes in:
-Where was I at fault?
-What could I have done differently?
-Did I say "yes" when I wanted to say "no?"
-Did I let someone get under my skin again?
-etc.

It's so much easier to blame the other person: "He's a jerk" or "She's got a bad attitude" etc. However, when I continue to place blame over & over, I never learn anything about myself. I'm finding that I do have a part in any "negative" interactions I have w/others.

For instance, today my daughter (who is under a lot of stress) got a little snippy w/me. I thought about it & decided I didn't want to call her right back & say something, as I probably would have guilt-tripped her (something that is in the DNA of some of us moms & comes naturally). She later called & apologized, so there was no need to bring the issue up. Had she not apologized, I think I would have talked to her about my feelings instead of walking around w/a chip on my shoulder. That's the type of benefit the program has given me. I was willing to wait until the time was right to say something instead of either guilt-tripping or stuffing it.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/7 - 12/13

DG, we cross-posted! Your story was wonderful. Getting sober is so incredibly gratifying...& yes, his humility is outstanding. Mary