Tuesday September 26 2006

[gabby]

Hi guys,
Wow...some great posts over the weekend.
I really enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts on how ya tell if someone is the 'one' or not. I don't really know if ya know. I think its a lot on what ya do after ya pick too. How hard ya work. Well enough of all that.

So Mack....what's the prize for the invention and who is the winner? That's hard to think up....both that is. The invention and the prize!!!! I didn't come up with anything.
I work my tail off on the weekends and soon to be each day.
I appreciate ya Mack for startin the posts.

Kathy....dang, oh well. This weekend I did actually have some craving myself. Didn't drink, but had the thoughts and desire.
Bambs and I were talking. She asked me what my cravings were like. And ya know....that was a good question. She asked, were they physical....or mental? Again....I had to think about it. Not a cut and dry answer. So what are your cravings like? If you can...describe them. And I will too. gabby

[Mackeral]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Good morning Absville,
Good morning Gabby, not a problem opening the posts for weekend...Like i said..I dont mind being the standby..
Okay, the winner of the grand prize for best invention goes to.....Drumroll.......MOJO....
Had to agree about the really annoying telephone music...and lisa made me laugh about asking to be put back on hold so she could finish learning Chinese...
It has taken ages to think of a prize and the best prize i can come come up with is........A weeks holiday for the mind....For the next week alcahol will never have existed for you...You will get no cravings...no mood swings...Just a peaceful, blissful week.
Or you can swap it for a jetski.....upto you.

Kathy, you live a million miles away from me, you are a different sex, and there is a good age gap....But i can also see lots of myself in you...We have loads in common...What is imperfection to one....Is perfection to another....You are perfect to me.
Lisa, i was in the car yesterday and on the radio it said that U2 were playing at the superdome last night...How cool is that...Love your sense of humor..
I cant address everyone this morning although i really want to...hopefully will get more time later on..
Just want to say before i go that i read what happened on general discussion last night...It dosnt sit well with me...Bambs is a really kind soul....I'm upset about this....I'm gonna keep in touch with her because i think she really needs friends and support.....Everyone has problems here....But some peoples problems are not as clear cut as others...
Gonna leave it at that......Love Macks

[tawnyfrog]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Macks, you're a wonderful gentle soul - a superb adjunct to the MWO philosophy. I wish you and Lisa, and all your kids, everything you ever wished for yourself.

I think you're a top bloke. Take care.

Tawny

[Lou]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Macks..well said honey x I too will stay in contact with Bambs....she needs us at the moment and surely we have all had times when we found it hard to expresss what we are feeling...sometimes it just comes out...wrong way or not!! still have to be there for her though, cause i understand and she has done and continues to do so much for me.

Loves to all

Lou-Lou x x x

[Lou]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Oh and Macks..i LOVE U2 saw them 5 times last year...followed the tour through Europe..Paris,Barcelona,cardiff, manchester etc..had a ball, i still miss it and it makes me sad!!As i said i LOVE them!!! x...How sad am i..lol!!!!

[Newyear]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Yea -Mojo Won!! Congrats Mojo!! (and although the first prize was really great and all - you might want to look in to that jetski thing)
Macks - just have to say again that I loved seeing your pics this morning - just made me smile and they were such nice pictures too.
Looks like New Orleans made it thru all the excitemet ok last night. Looked out my window around midnight and the traffic was backed up everywhere and there were people walking all around and yelling and celebrating etc. I was happy to be on the 21st floor...but still the city did seem very alive and happy.
subject for today- cravings
I read that last night and thought about it some. I don't think I ever feel anything physical as far as cravings go. I just have an internal dialogue that starts rolling. Often it is situational---shopping on the weekends and see an outdoor cafe, or with a group and they all say -'let's go have a glass' or stress is very high for that particular day and all I can think about is how to relieve that and alcohol is always the top contender.
It feels like there is this tape that runs in my head that gives me all the reasons why it would be a good idea to go ahead and have a few cause it would make things better. Kind of like that little devil sitting on my shoulder. Sometimes, not too often, that little inner voice tells me to not just have a few but to have as much as I want...go ahead and just do whatever you want. That little voice is exhausting to deal with at times. Like arguing with a persistant child.
Lately, my good reason, and sober self has won this argument. I have started countering those thoughts of 'I deserve to have wine if I want to" with another argument of 'really? you think you deserve to wake up feeling crappy? casue that is what will happen'. Then I sigh and think 'dam*it' that is true - I will feel like crap tomorrow'. Again...it can be exhausting just going thru all these thought processes!
So that is my craving story. Not so much physical as emotional.

Ok...gotta go to work now. Gabby thanks for that subject. It helps me to try to work thru that craving process step by step - kind of disect it a little and figure out the parts.
hope everyone has a great tuesday - tawny and lou and everyone not quite awake or here yet - good morning all.
Lisa

[YoungAtHeart]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Up Early

Morning All!

It's a good morning here. Gabby, thanks for sharing about having cravings. Your honesty makes you such a good leader! Please don't be sad on my account, Gabbs. I have fallen, but I'm getting up. With all the loving arms to help me, how could I NOT get up. I can't feel sorry for myself for very long around here. One of these days, Gabbs, I, too, will have enough ABS time under my belt where it won't be worth destroying my ABS time for a drink. Thanks for your love and concern, Gabbington. Anyway, now that the dust is settling again and I have time to THINK, I'm going to start focusing again on the future, and imagining all the good things in life WITHOUT alcohol

I love your prize, Macks, a whole week with a peaceful mind and no cravings. That's my fantasy about having a motor home and heading west. It's funny, Macks, cause I feel the same about you. I just love you to pieces. You are so sweet and open, who could help themselves! With Lisa's permission, we can have our trans-Atlantic mutual admiration society!! Incidently, I caught a gander at the pictures of Cloe and the rest of the family, and Cloe is lovely, as befits her status, and Lisa looks like a lovely woman! I have such respect for you and Lisa, having hung in there together through thick and thin. I know it hasn't been easy.

Lisa, I love how you "talk yourself down" from your cravings! It sure would be nice if we could go to a cafe and just have a glass or two like "normal" people. The trouble is that we really just can't do that. If I was normal, I would have had two glasses of wine on Saturday, and the rest would still be sitting there! You are doing a great job of "thinking through the drink(s)" as they say in AA! Incidently, you're also doing a great job of helping me vicariously enjoy New Orleans. I did catch some of the game last night. I didn't catch U2, but I did see Green Day perform, one of Maddy's favorite groups. I fell asleep for the end of the game though. It is good to see the Saints winning!

Hey, Lou, how are you, sweetie??? Did you ever get to the clinic yesterday??? I have been thinking of you, love.

Thanks for popping in Tawny. I hope that everything is going well for you.

To Lizzie Mouse, Barb, Janet, Nancy, Mike, Lurking Neil and everyone who hasn't yet posted, I hope you all have a good day.

Love,
Kathy:l

[mojomuppet]

Tuesday September 26 2006

ok, this is what i have decide to do.kathy you get the week and ill take the jetski.problem solved.cravings i dont even want to talk about so ill skip that. all of you have a hot diggity dog great day!

[mikeupnorth]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Good morning all,

What a great prize -- a peaceful, blissful week, AF and with no cravings, mood swings, anxiety, etc. Sounds like heaven to me, Mojo. And you can always rent or buy a Jetski!

I never used to think I had physical cravings, either. Being a smoker, I KNOW what physical cravings and withdrawal are -- and I certainly don't experience anything of that magnitude when I try to abstain from alcohol. It's a bit more subtle, more sneaky. It doesn't obsess me 24/7, the way nicotine does when I don't have it. I will be sitting at work, minding my own business (perhaps getting a bit stressed, though) and suddenly, mid-afternoon, the idea of a drink hits me from out of the blue. And there was a time that as soon as the thought struck me, it was a DONE DEAL. There was no question as to whether I would drink that night or not -- it was just a matter of time until I got off work and headed to the liquor store on the way home. I would even pour the first drink before taking off my shoes and getting comfortable.

Even after I started trying to moderate or abstain, the thought would take hold of me like that -- almost like a demonic possession. No matter how strong my resolve had been throughout the day, my "will" would be overturned in a matter of minutes, or seconds, with almost no fight whatsoever. No matter that I might have a big day the next day. No matter that I would feel like crap. No matter that I would do absolutely STUPID things in the process. All that mattered was blindly following that urge, which clearly had no thought process behind it. After I described this to my doctor, who is an expert on addiction, she said, "Yes, you are describing physical cravings." (Duh. Don't know why I couldn't accept that before. Maybe because that would have made me an addict??)

Since I've been working on this program, and taking Topamax, that has changed. The "demonic posession" doesn't happen to me any more. I still get the urge -- but I have time to stop and think it through before acting on it. And more often than not, I am able to make the choice to abstain. And when I get the urge now, it's more like Lisa described: "A beer sounds good right about now...." or "I'd love to relax with a drink after work tonight" rather than that sudden, done-deal kind of physical craving I used to get. So I guess I'm stuck at the moment dealing with the psychological cravings. Meaning: I still love and miss alcohol. But I'm working on that. I know it's dangerous for me -- I could SO EASILY get right back to where I was.

I am going to see a hypnotherapist after work today, on the recommendation of my doc. I've been falling asleep every time I use the CD's. They are just so relaxing, and I've heard them so many times that I know how they end!!! I fall asleep by the time I get to the elevator every time. So anyway this guy is a professional and works specifically with alcoholics and smokers -- so I'm hoping he can help me realize that ALCOHOL JUST HAS NOTHING TO OFFER ME. I would love to believe that, and not have the slightest desire to drink -- even moderately. I don't even want to envy those "normal" drinkers. And if he can help me with that -- hey, I would be very happy to get rid of the smokes too.

Didn't mean to go on so long, but this is a great topic, Gabbs.

And I have no idea what went on in General Discussion last night, but LIZ, if you are reading -- I have become very fond of you and have missed you here lately. I think you know you have a lot of love and respect here in Abbsvile.

Hi Lou, Tawny, Macks, and to everyone else -- have a great day!

Mike

[InnerStrength]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Hey

Hey everyone in Abbsville
Even though I am not abbs right now, I do often come over and check out your posts since I find them very inspiring and just wanted to say - what an AWESOME thread. This is great and Mike - I think you just summed up EXACTLY what the cravings are like - and the physical versus psychological thing that I have been trying to understand in my own head for a while now but haven't been able to articulate...
I wonder if we should start a thread under the general" postings about this...
just a thought cause i found this so helpful for me in understanding my personal cravings and what I have been struggling with (while on the topa) - in other words, I think half the battle - if not more, is REALLY about the psychological part of cravings - and this is something that I think we can all really benefit from discussing together...
Well done Mike (and everyone else) for putting it so well!
And hugs!!
Jen

[mikeupnorth]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Wow, quiet day in here. Wait a minute, is that the sound of crickets chirping?
:H

Hey Jen -- I agree, maybe that's a good topic for General Discussion: the nature of physical cravings vs. psychological cravings. I'll start a thread out there when I'm not so tired & pressed for time..... I guess it would be easy enough to cut and paste some of my last post to get it started.

An update on my hypnotherapy: I had my appointment time mixed up. I thought it was 6:30. Could have sworn he said 6:30. I got there at 6:15 just as he was leaving. Apparently my appointment was for 6:00. (He leaves after only 15 minutes?) Anyway we stood there in the doorway for 10 minutes or so, and he asked about me and my drinking patterns. He nodded with understanding..... gave me some advice about diet and supplements over the next few days. Told me to call him in the morning and he would reschedule me for tomorrow or Thursday. So..... he does seem to know a lot about the problem of alcoholism. He's been through it himself, and has been AF for 31 years now. And he is highly recommended by my doc, who is also an addictions specialist.... I'll keep the next appointment and BE ON TIME.

I guess that's all for now. Hope you are all doing fine out there...

Mike

[Newyear]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Good Evening-
Mike- I thought your description of the 'auto pilot' drinking was very familiar. I know I talked about my inner dialogue that has been going on recently but when you wrote that I thought - oh, yeah and I have done that too. I was surprised that that would be physical cravings...interesting
I have been hungover at work and have sworn that I won't drink that night but by the time I'm driving home something clicks in me. I've worked all day with a hangover and when I finally leave, tired and exhausted after working all day, I would still stop at the liquor store for a bottle or two of wine - cause I know I have none at home and I don't want to have to go back out if I find I just want 'one glass'.
Then, when I get home I change clothes and open the bottle. By glass two I'm feeling better and thinking - 'why was I so tired at work today? I'm feeling just fine now'. And then I will stay up and watch tv until I finish the bottle. I'll go to sleep happy and then wake up, big surprise...with a hangover.... and think - "Why?? Why the Hell did I do that Again???"
I have done well since being here and have basically stopped that daily habit - but I now struggle against dropping right back into that routine. I have had several slips - slipped up good a few times! I think today is af day number 17. I've gone 30+ days before too since starting here in June. But I don't feel huge confidence yet that I can continue to keep things in check. I feel so good about being here. I don't know if I'm doing well because of me or because I'm checking in here daily....probably both. I just know I need to be here for awhile. I am starting to really treasure feeling good in the morning. Some of my co- workers celebrated the Saints win last night and got back to the hotel around 2:30am. They were not so good by about 1pm today. I was halfway tempted last night......the me from 3 months ago would have been getting home at 2:30 am too....and then I would have had one more in the room.
Just realized this is becoming a very long post. ah well....thanks Everyone for reading and thanks for being here.
I'm goin to bed. Hope everyone has a great night's sleep and I wish you all happy dreams tonight.
night-
Lisa

[gabby]

Tuesday September 26 2006

Lisa, I like your post! Sounded like me. : ) gabby