Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

Hi all! R2C I hope you enjoyed the meeting! I always like hearing speakers. I also get a LOT out of the meetings where there is a topic of some sort and everyone who wishes to says something about it.

I too shared your confusion about what "working" meant when people said "working the steps." Took me awhile to determine what it really means to me. And that could change with time! I often hear something in a meeting that changes or deepens my perspective on this stuff. To me, "working the steps" means actively thinking about them and applying them. For some steps it's "digging deeper" for the meaning and application in my life. For other steps it's more outward action along with the inner work. As an example, I "work" Step 1 everyday by reminding myself of my powerlessness over AL should I decide to take even one drink. Working this step initially meant really considering the "unmanagebility" part of it - really looking with no rose colored glasses at the role AL played in making my life unmanageable. And today I need constant reminders. Those reminders include me thinking about it, and also listening to newcomers or others talk about this in meetings and relating to it. People do Step 1 differently, but I actually did some writing work on the unmanageable part. (the Big Book does not specify a written exercise though)

Step 4 - the "work" is easier to see as a written exercise is specified. And that is work!

The service work is also visible "work" so easier to see as "work." But with all the steps, if I rest on my laurels and don't think about them, I start mentally sliding backwards. Then one thing could lead to another....I don't like how I feel if I mentally get too far away from the steps and principles.

I have to run - chairing today. So this is the end of another long ramble! :H Strength and hope to all..

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

R2C: I've heard the expression "working the steps." I too understand that to mean going through each step formally w/a sponsor. My sponsor gave me written & reading assignments for each one of them...especially step 4. I've noticed many people who do not work the steps formally are more vulnerable to relapse. Going through each one really uncovered a lot of the gunk that caused me to drink.

I've been hugely busy w/holiday chores & child care. It's a wild ride, but going to meetings really helps keep things in perspective.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

Hi Mary! Our holiday is fairly low key around here this year, but no matter what the season or the reason, my thinking is always better when I go to meetings! I'm really glad that my schedule is such, and the meeting schedule is such, that I can start many of my days with a meeting. I love making sure my head is on straight FIRST in the day! I like you additional comments about "working the steps" and what that means to you.

I had a "duh" moment about what it means to me to "work" step 1 on a daily basis. It was told to me that step 1 is really about acceptance - first and foremost acceptance that I cannot control alcohol if I take a drink. Via the serenity prayer, I know that there are many many things and people in my life that are outside my control. So "working step 1 in my life" is also about accepting things I cannot control. The more I am able to do this with AL or anything else, the more peace of mind I have.

Acceptance also ties of course to Step 2 - accepting there is a power greater than me. Again, I have to think about this on a regular basis or I slip right back into thinking I should be in charge (or AM in charge) of everything and everyone, and it all ought to be my way. NON!

Todays meeting was a really good one. It was based on the Daily Reflections reading which is about 12th step work. Some of the highlights for me of the discussion were:

* Giving with a servant's heart (not expecting anything in return or "keeping score" in some way)
* Getting out of myself (my pity party, poor me, what about me, look at me, I deserve...., etc.) by doing service work and helping others.
* Gratitude - whatever problems I may have now, that is nothing compared to a couple of years ago when I truly didn't see any point to living. There were multiple people who mentioned the suicidal thinking that can be present at the "bottom." And no matter what is going on today that is troubling is nothing like THAT.

Random thoughts...now off for a busy day! I've got our regular business stuff to do, Mary Kay stuff to do, and I should be getting my new work out plan today, so I'm not sure if I will be going to the gym but I will definitely have some "homework" to do once that happens. I am so blessed to be living a full life again.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

There is such a big emphasis on service...selfless service...in AA. I try to do my part. I'm secretary of the 2 groups I've joined. While that's not earth-shattering work, it's something. If it weren't for the 12th step, I wouldn't be sober today. I also feel that this thread is 12th step work to some extent. Again, I know we've said it before, but if there is anyone lurking & having questions about AA, don't hesitate to ask. I'll do my best to answer or get the answer somehow. I can at least speak from my own experience. Mary

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

Want to wish mwo friends a wonderful, happy, sober holiday season!
You guys, AA and my HP have transformed my life and I truly have so much to be grateful for.
God Bless!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

Okey: Thank you & Happy Holidays to you. Last Thurs. I was walking out of the meeting w/my sponsor. He has a pretty new girlfriend, has reunited w/a son, & has other wonderful changes in his life. I too was marvelling at some of the changes I have, including the strength from my HP. Both of us said, almost in unison: "Why did we ever think we needed a drink to go through life?" I can see that if I let go & let HP take over, good things happen.

Last night's BB meeting was on the chapter to the wives. I, of course, have to reverse everthing. One of the revelations I got was that life is much, much better sober, but it'll never be perfect or meet my unrealistic expectations. I don't have to drink to blot out the "bad stuff." I'm realizing now that it's all good, & everything happens to teach me a lesson.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

hi everyone it is so nc that your trying to work the program,as far as the phrases,there just one way to deal with the solution,i just read a story of a very successful woman in the big book,never read many of the stories,there mostly the same with maybe a bit of different spice to them,that is what makes the program different for all,if there stories werent diferent,it would be like our drinking,we all drink the same way.to much.you, mt of read it.page 334 second chapter,it starts to this day im amased and down to when it finally strikes her.crossing the river of denial ? i beleieve it also states on 20 to 21 the different degrees of alchoholism.your not missing it teach,your here and at meetings,my wife has an old saying.if it works why not use it have a good day,as you see im venting last nt was one of the toughest nights ive had to deal with this memisis i have,but i am sober, cause of this site and you folks,gyco

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

gyco: I'm glad you're sober today. As long as I stay sober, I can continue to feel good about myself. I don't have to like everything that comes my way. I just have to get through it all sober.

I find that reading the BB w/a group throws a whole new light on the stories therein. Sometimes I think I cannot relate at all, but something someone says will spark a lesson for me. My Fri. group only reads the first part that explains the program. We discuss it paragraph by paragraph. My Sun. group reads the whole book, & we discuss it after the chapter is read. Info that would have passed me by is brought up & discussed. There's an awful lot there.

At the groups I go to, a Big Book is offered to any beginner who doesn't have one or can't afford one. If you're a newcomer & are wondering about what's in a Big Book, & your group offers one, don't hesitate to ask for one. It's one way for a group to do 12th step work...spreading the message. I want AA to be there for future generations.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

Greetings from Kansas everyone.
I had to deal with my brother's battle with cancer this week. He died Monday at the age of 60 after a long battle with colon cancer that ended in his lungs and liver. I'm pretty sure he was an alcoholic and the steady diet of lots of beer took 10 years off his life. However it did not get him spiritually. He had an amazing knowledge of the bible and seemed to be in tune with God. Physically, yeah, alcohol did get him.

I have made it through the week without drinking but man, it has been tough. The family and friends all drink and hang out at the local bars. I have a few club sodas and excuse myself for an early departure. Tomorrow I will head back to Texas. It will be great to attend a meeting at my 630am home group Monday.

Hope you all have a great rest of the weekend.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

Phil: I'm so sorry about your brother...especially that he was so young...60 is really just at the brink of senior-citizenhood. Thank God you've stayed sober...even if you did have to hang on by your fingernails. You did it, & that alone shows how much you respect your brother. I'm so glad you have an AM meeting tomorrow. I know you'll get all kinds of support from your fellow AAers.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

Hi everyone! I'm here and sober and attending to my AA activities, just been super busy with "life" too the last few days!

okydoky;777010 wrote: Want to wish mwo friends a wonderful, happy, sober holiday season!

And you too Okey!

Gyco;777192 wrote: ,as you see im venting last nt was one of the toughest nights ive had to deal with this memisis i have,but i am sober, cause of this site and you folks,gyco
Hi Gyco. It's great to see you and I'm so happy to hear that you stayed sober through a tough night. Sometimes we are capable of more than we tend to think we are.

retteacher;777289 wrote: I find that reading the BB w/a group throws a whole new light on the stories therein. Sometimes I think I cannot relate at all, but something someone says will spark a lesson for me. My Fri. group only reads the first part that explains the program. We discuss it paragraph by paragraph. My Sun. group reads the whole book, & we discuss it after the chapter is read. Info that would have passed me by is brought up & discussed. There's an awful lot there.

Boy I agree with that Mary. My Saturday group reads the whole book including the stories. At first I wasn't sure if I would enjoy the story reading/discussion so much. But I really do and like you, often it's a comment someone at the tables makes that sparks my lesson from the story. We read the one about Crossing the River of Denial (my BB is in the car or I'd give the exact name and page number) which was another really good one for me.

cpn1004;777400 wrote:
I had to deal with my brother's battle with cancer this week. He died Monday at the age of 60 after a long battle with colon cancer that ended in his lungs and liver.

Phil, I am so very sorry to hear about your brother. As Mary said, what a beautiful tribute to him that you did whatever it took to not drink over things, regardless of how difficult that surely was. :l

Hello to everyone else! Today is another busy one. I'm heading off to AA in a moment, then to the gym - my first weight training day of my new workout program. Then off to the in-law sibs for our holiday gathering. No way could I pack this much into a day if I were drinking! Life is good, and I am grateful.

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

hi everyone,cpn i to am sorry to here of your bro s fate,death is inevitable,but as you said al abuse if tht were the case will bring it on earlier for some,he is in a better place now,i to beleive there is a higher power,i chose to beleive christ is mine,whether religious or spirtual or agnostic,there is something after this life,im happy his faith held him in there gyco

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

o by the way i tht to say,to anyone new,ive attended AA for ten years,off and on, for me,it does not agree with all,in the big book it says that,you can find that quote in there is a solution or in how it works,i beleive,over the last year in a halve ive come to realise mwo has many forums,i find it hard to attend AA meetings,but to the people that formed this AA forum,i give my sincere thanks,your thoughts from your experiences from attending meetings,gives me hope, and strength,to go through many a day,may god bless u all,i wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year,dont ever stop writing on how you feel gyco

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

gyco: I too get so much from this AA thread. When I can't get to a meeting, I reread what is here.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 12/14 - 12/20

AWWW Gyco. You brought a tear to my eye! You are an important part of the sharing here in this little AA thread. We all have experience, strength and hope to share along this path. I too am glad we have this thread and all the participation we do with shared experiences.

The 12&12 meeting was great this morning in several very different ways. The topic was Step 6 - "Became entirely ready to have God remove all our defects of character."

When I first started going to AA meetings and read / heard that one over and over, I thought "well, of COURSE!! Defects are bad...why WOULDN'T I be ready to have them removed???" When I would hear around the table people commenting about "defects I try to hang on to" I really didn't get it for a long time.

There is a line in the 12&12 book in the Step 6 Chapter that we focused on today that really sort of sums up this important point for me. "...few of us would seriously think of giving them up, at least until they cause US excessive misery." [emphasis mine - quote from the bottom of page 67 in 12&12] In other words, I'm often not motivated to have my self centeredness or greed or pride removed just because it might be causing pain for somebody else. I'm generally very motivated to have those things removed once it causes ME pain. Sort of like drinking. Knowing it was bad for me wasn't enough to make me stop. Knowing I was harming others wasn't enough to make me stop. Only when my own PAIN got great enough did I really want to stop. Character defects are like that too and I only recently started grasping that at a very basic level.

One guy who got his 15 year coin today said "my sponsor told me that Steps 6&7 are the walkin' around steps. You have to work them every single day or the character defects will be taking over again."

I believe that, and wrote that quote down in the margin of my book!

Well, time to get cleaned up and head to the in-law gathering. I'm so very grateful to be sober for it, and HAPPY to be sober for it, and not all angry and resentful because these people are interfering with my drinking plans and desires for the day. Family gatherings are still not my favorite thing. But at least I can be honest with myself WITHOUT making up stuff to blame someone else for my problem with it. And I don't have to drink over it or stress over it. I'm sure the day will be a nice one - MUCH nicer than back in the drinking days.

Strength and hope, and a special holiday :l to all.

DG