Wednesday September 27th

[gabby]

Well guys, good job on yesterdays question.
I never did answer....sorry. Gotta say I am feelin pretty bummed.

Dont know weather we should talk about it or not. But basically I feel sad about Bambs. I guess she isnt coming back to Absville for a while. I know its no secret that she does sorta fly off the handle at times and can cause a ruckus. And I do see how it may be disruptive. I can sit and defend some of her anger only because I can perhaps see how it may be triggered. But then things get blown up and we all know how ya cant take back what you say once it's past your lips. Or in this case past the submit button.
Anyway, whatever the case is, I do know one thing. Bambs is a good person. So she has problems but who of us doesnt? It all just comes out in different ways.
There are a lot of good things I can say about Liz. She was here working on herself. Not drinking. Trying to better her thinking. She is funny. Great sense of humor. Liz is a good friend. She has listened to me when I was in need. Had good things to say that made me laugh when I needed it. Liz is protective of her friends. And will go to battle for them. She is willing to give of herself if she thinks it will help you. I could go on and on about Liz.
Also in Liz I see a lot of pain. I don't know her well enough to know where that comes from. But it saddens my heart. So everyone I just hope that you all can keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I as Mack said have total intentions of keeping in touch with Liz if she receives that. I have really taken to her and wish her only the best.
So this is my post for today I just had to share my feelings on this. feelin sad about this, gabby

[mojomuppet]

Wednesday September 27th

i agree this is no good. im worried for her and i hope all is well.noticed that you used the word weather. perhaps we should look at all the storms and calms we have caused in our lives. trust me she is not the first or the last that will be seen here.me myself the calms come when i ignore the issues in my life, the storms come when i face them. just a thought...lets maybe look at that today as we travel without our friend.

:upset:

[mojomuppet]

Wednesday September 27th

oh and this will be my avatar for the day. it is two starfish holding each other...sigh

[Guest]

Wednesday September 27th

Gabbs,
You sound really low and yet you are thinking of others. Keep some energy for yourself ok?

I have a few things to say this morning.

I think when we first come here (and maybe for longer) there is something broken in us. The way that we show the break is different. First we kind of share the unbroken bit and just talk about the broken bit. When we see the broken bit in someone else's post there is usuall some kind of spat where many simply cant leave it alone and feelings and tensions run high... and i know this cos I"ve been there and may be so again, I dont know. Its such a personal journey that we are on, that we take peoples postings personally, even when it isnt targetted at us. Some things are said that are hard to take but they most often are about the person actually posting.. sometimes silence and calm is the best response. I say this not having seen or read whatever happened to Bambs.. so I'm saying this only generally from this happening a few times on the board. Even if this isnt relevant to what is happening with Bambs right now.. I think its worth saying in terms of what sometimes happens on the board.

My next problem is then what we do with the broken bit. Some of us think that we are fixing the broken bit. I"m not sure that we do.. I'm having this debate with myself at the moment. I'm sorry to use you Kathy, but you are an excellent example of what I think I'm trying to say. You are an eloquent, caring and generous hearted individual whose expections of herself are 'out there'. You are such a committed mayor.. you put everything into what you do.. and I think you ask too much of yourself. ( I really hope you dont mind me saying this.. cos you know that I love you). Macks said something nice about how to him you were perfect.. I liked his sentiment, but I disagreed with it (sorry Macks, but bear with me). I think I like your imperfections. I"m not saying I want you to drink... but I dont want you to be perfect. I just want you to be you and to be happy, and I dont think you have to be perfect to be happy.

And to go back to my first bit. I am obviously talking about myself here too - I'm quite like you Kathy, only I dont support others on this board to nearly the extent that you do.. you are just so generous.

Me, with all this sobriety.. I have a long way to fall if I slip...I've set myself up big time, both by sharing and by raising my expectations of myself. While I"ve already admitted I come here to help me not slip, I also do other things to try to come to terms with my imperfections and to try to live with them. I find it enormously hard to allow my imperfections to exist without making me sick (emotionally)... its a full time job for me... but a worth while one.

I sincerely hope I havent offended anyone by saying all this... specially you Kathy... you know that I'm thinking of you heaps and wishing you nice things from downunder here. And Liz, I wish you all the best also.. and everyone else.. whom I dont mention by name,.. I do think of you all and wish you well.

Brigid

[vinophile]

Wednesday September 27th

Good Morning
Quick post here as I read post yesterday,planned to come back and reply and then never got back. I did think in great depth about cravings. I think it would make a great general post. It is something everyone here has dealt with at some point.Some with more success than others..
Many times I crave alcohol to calm a certain frenzy in my brain. This may or may not have anything to do with what is happening around me.I can be surrounded by general hysteria and feel no need for a drink. Conversly I can be sitting alone quietly and have a frenzied feeling that is calmed by alcohol. One of my problems is that I have never been good at anticipating when these craving will occur. They seem to pop out of nowhere.
I do not know what happened the other night with Liz, but she is a caring , insightful person with a great sense of humour. I wish her well in her recovery.
Have a good morning all. Hope to return in a few hours
Janet

[southernbelle47]

Wednesday September 27th

I too must say that it makes me sad for us and for Liz too. I don't know what happened but I do know that someone on chat just knew which buttons to push to get to Liz.......
need coffee.......later
Nancy

[sujul]

Wednesday September 27th

Hey Abbers--
Haven't been able to say hello in a few days...have been trying to keep up with the posts but have missed lots....so, I have no idea really what's going on....

I am co-leading a chapel service at noon and I'll be thinking of everyone here (and our Bambs, of course) as we share a moment of prayer and meditation for those who are special to us....
:l
susan

[gabby]

Wednesday September 27th

Thats good guys, thanks susan you sweetie. Nancy Brigid and Mojo. And Janet too. Still gonna share bout my own cravins. I feel better after some sleep. Just wish she would sign on. Gabbs

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday September 27th

Just a Quickie!

Have to rush off to work in a few, and I just finished an e-mail to my awful ex wedded (uurrrgghh).

Just wanted to say that I'm doing okay. Not terrific, but okay. Not quite AF yet, but not drinking a bottle a night either. I had two glasses of wine last night. My scale is proving to be a big motivator. I am paying for my debauchery from the weekend!:upset: Up three pounds. Damn!!

Anyway, I feel for Liz and I'm praying for her too. I tried to PM her the other day and it didn't go through. I realized later that maybe I used the wrong name. Maybe she is getting mail under "Lizzie Mouse" now??

At any rate, rest assured Brigid, that I didn't take your using me as an example personally, but just to illustrate your point. Also, I don't think that Macks thinks that I am literally "perfect". I think we can be perfect in our imperfection. For myself, I am just striving to accept where I am RIGHT NOW, because I have to do that to get back on track.

I can feel myself getting back into the right mindset. That's all until (hopefully) later. I have a very long day today.

Oh, and :yay: , I got an e-mail from the band director expressing a lot of gratitude for my finishing the flags after everything that took place. Sweet.

Love to all,
Kathy

[sujul]

Wednesday September 27th

:l :l :l :l , Kathy!

[wwbarb]

Wednesday September 27th

Quick hello

Hi all - have been trying to read the posts. Struggling with a rough week at work. My boss likes to beat up on us (two of us work for him) when he starts to get stressed. Typical bully. I have so much to do and my heart is not in it. So, on top of the stress, I have guilt because I am not being productive. Co-worker and I have been fantasizing all week about quitting. And taking care of myself has become a thing of the past. "One more day" keeps resonating in my head. And, what the hell, I might as well wait until October 1, right?? I am back to listening to the CDs again and need to find a way to incorporate the sleep learning.

The good news is that of the 12 lbs I lost, I only gained 2 of them back.

Sorry to see the "blues" as an undertheme here. Gabbs, Kathy, Liz, Sophia, take care of yourselves. Mack, your family is beautiful.

I am sure I have missed many of you - just haven't had anything constructive to post. I've been very depressed for the last two weeks. Today, as I was waking up, a little voice popped into my head saying, just get over it and grow up. I think I'm getting a little stronger everyday and almost ready to plunge back in.

Everyone please take care of yourselves. Good news, boss is busy the rest of the week, so I do get a reprive after today (if I survive!!). Will be sending out some good vibes soon.

Barb

[Mackeral]

Wednesday September 27th

Good Afternoon Absville,
I'm posting a bit later today because Mr Macks went fishing, ( sounds like a kiddies storybook! )
I didn't answer either yesterday about cravings...I think for me as time has passed they have definatly become less intense and also dont last as long...At first, say the first 3-4 weeks there wasnt much else i could think about...We have limited funds so there was the constant worry if i had enough money to buy alcahol that evening...That was one of the first thoughts that entered my head in the morning. ( Not a way to live )..Also because of this i had to make do with what i could get....I preferred rum and red wine....but could only afford that about once a week....So usually i had to make do with the cheap super strength cider or lager...?2.99 for 3 litres of the shit.
That is where a lot of the problem lies in this country...That kind of drink should be outlawed....It serves no other purpose other than to get legless on a bugit...It should read on the label....For alcaholics and bums only...
Anyway i'm going completly off the subject...
I'd usually get cravings starting about 4pm....And dont ask me why but around dinner time on Sunday....They were gradually getting earlier and earlier...I just couldnt concentrate on anything...I had a really short fuse....Thats the main reason i took up fishing....i wasnt nice to be around...
I didnt know how bad i was untill the 3rd day of detox....I got the shakes...sweats.....I hadnt been without alcahol for 3 days in the previous 5 years..
My cravings are nowhere anything like that now....Still get the lack of concentration...And really bad butterflies....feels like something bads going to happen...dont know why.
And i proberly ony get REAL cravings maybe..twice a week..But they dont last as long ....thank god.

[mikeupnorth]

Wednesday September 27th

G'day, Abbsville! Did I say that right, Brigid?

OK, topic #1: interpersonal drama on the board. I guess this was the elephant in the room yesterday? I stated yesterday that I miss Liz, that I've grown fond of her, and find her to be a loving, sensitive person. And we all certainly have our "broken bits" to deal with -- Lord knows I do. Maybe it's the broken bits that caused us to drink; maybe the drink caused the broken bits. Either way, there they are. Part of recovery is putting all the bits back together and becoming whole again, and that can take a lifetime.

We all come here at times with various motivations -- to relieve boredom, to keep in touch, to support others who are having a hard time, to quell a craving. But the one underlying reason we are here is the one that Brigid stated: we are here for the purely selfish reason that we want to keep from slipping back into the alcoholic abyss. If that is not our motivation, then I would submit that we are either playing games or fooling ourselves that we want to get better.

And finally, no matter what our broken bits are, it comes down to civility. This is a public forum, and as with any other public forum we might sometimes hear or see things that we don't like or agree with. Much of the time, as in the "real world," the best thing to do is to ignore it and move on. If we're going to disagree, we must do so in a civil manner. There is no reason to get into an online pissing match with someone else for any reason.... it's simply unneccessary and counterproductive. A newcomer to the boards seeing this kind of thing could easily be turned off to MWO and never come back. It's tiresome and disillusioning enough for us who've been around for a while.

We are here to work on our alcohol problem, pure and simple. Sometimes that means that we can improve our relationships, our spiritual lives, our mental health, or other areas of our lives, especially as they relate to our drinking. We certainly talk about all these things. But the forum is not a spiritual, relationship, mental health, or anger-management clinic. If we see that we have additional needs in those areas (I know I do) we should seek them out.

OK that is my 2 cents. Maybe more than that. Liz if you are reading this please know that I do love having you here and hope you stay -- I know how hard you are working at this, and I really enjoy your posts.

Take care, everyone.

[mikeupnorth]

Wednesday September 27th

Barb: Sorry to hear about the rough times with the boss. Hang in there!

Kathy: So these flags are for marching bands? OK, I've been wondering!!!

[Quiescent]

Wednesday September 27th

mojomuppet wrote: oh and this will be my avatar for the day. it is two starfish holding each other...sigh

Mojo,

It took me all of the last three weeks to figure out what your first avitar actually was.

I thought it was some creature from the black lagoon!:H Then one day it dawned on me what it actually was!

When I saw this one it definatley spiked my interest......I'm still trying to see starfish?