coming back to AF land

[bear73]

hi there

Well 2 days trying to 'moderate' I am back up to a bottle of wine a night (or equivalent,at social occasions but it's the old situation of ,feeling a bit nice,so want more to make the nice feeling last longer - it doesn't work and you just end up drinking more).

I plan to be AF until Christmas Day then plan is to have 2 drinks max.
I am so confused - part of me wants the occasional drink - but if i could do that would I have gone af in the first place?
Moderation doesn't appear to be happening for me does it,and it seems like such a lot of work. I like diet 7UP, it's cheaper and doesn't make me feel ill the next day.
I also have smoked tonnes whilst drinking I had lapsed anyway but alcohol definitely exaccerbates it.

I have 2 af friends coming over Christmas Day,some big drinkers and some normal drinkers. I think I know what I need to do- the battle of shall I shan't I is exhausting - af life is simple.

[Leelou]

coming back to AF land

Bear,

All my Xmas do's are over (yipee) and I had one party we put on for our dearest mates a few weeks back, yes I had 2-3 drinks that night. But, leading up to it, I knew I wanted to have stayed AF, although I really didn't drink to excess like normal, I think looking back, I should have just picked either route, AL or AF.

Don't under estimate 'the urge' attempting to make compromises with you when there is an event coming up which will tempt and taught you. That dreaded Urge will come up with any excuse or compromise it can in order to have a drink.

Stay strong.... Look forward.... nurture the REAL you

[Doggygirl]

coming back to AF land

Hi Bear. Only you can know what works for you and what is right for you.

For me, I love this saying because it absolutely applies to me:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If your previous attempts to drink just two have failed because you either 1) drank more than that or 2) were not happy with the effort involved in "controlling it" to just two then what do you expect to be different with another attempt on Christmas? Is there something you are planning to do differently? (meds? supps? wishing?)

Wishing you success with your goals whatever you end up deciding to do.

DG

[momof3]

coming back to AF land

Bear,

Alcohol loves ambivalence and those who do not have a solid plan.

I have observed on these threads before that when one does not have a specific plan and the strong strong conviction to stop, they continue to go back and forth between monthly abstinence and monthly moderation threads. Your plan right now is to have 2 drinks on Christmas day.

If your ultimate goal is to be AF (and I'm assumming this is true because you are posting on the monthly abstinence thread?????), I would encourage you to read the words of those who are AF (new or old). Read how they have put being AF as the number 1 thing in their lives. Notice too how strong they sound. All of that energy expended on "should I or shouldn't I" is gone. Their energy is directed toward living their lives to the fullest.

Be well,

M3

[bear73]

coming back to AF land

hey everyone after a long bath and a sleep to ease my hangover I have finally decided.
I am going to return to being AF, I felt better physically and mentally, it also blew my mind that I spent almost ?30 on Saturday (AF evening would be under ?5).

I'm going to be sticking close to the forum - I'm off for a few days now so it will be good to have the time to do that.

[KateH1]

coming back to AF land

Good Morning,
Bear73, I cannot add much more here, DG and Momof3 have pretty much said it all and I am on the same page as they are. In my case, I fooled around for years "thinking" that I could just have 1 or 2 drinks......Knowing all the while that I could not stop there. Time after time after a drunken night filled with regret, I would determine to be AF for a while...on and on it went!

These days, the very thought of attempting one drink rarely crosses my mind and when it does, I move along quickly knowing that drinking, under any circumstances, on any occasion and at any point in time is simply not an option, if I want to continue living happily and sanely.

Bear, your own anquish says it all, listen to your inner voice!

As for me...my day is another zoom, zoom, zoom day, delivering Christmas treats to some clients!

Have a Great Day All!
Kate

[caysea]

coming back to AF land

Hi All
Bear looking at your join date you have been here for awhile. When I found this site I had finally accepted that I was an alcoholic. If you have been struggling with al all this time and still consider mod I have to question if you are being honest with yourself. It was this acceptance that allowed me to fully commit to not drinking. I had been fooling myself for years trying to control my drinking.Only you can answer for yourself if you are an alcoholic and do what is necessary.
I posted after your second post about going AF. Welcome to the AF world hard in the beggining but so worth it.


Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[momof3]

coming back to AF land

Amen Caysea, Amen

[Raven.joy]

coming back to AF land

welcome home bear