Thursday, September 28th

[lushy]

Thursday, September 28th

Lisa, I think instead of focusing on the negative you need to focus on the positive. You are realizing, like I slowly am, that you do not have the huge, horrible, ugly desire to drink ALL OF THE TIME and that is HUGE!!!!! I would have never dreamed I could have done AF days during the week, even if it is only 1-2 or 3 but I am, and I have been astounded that you have been traveling and working and staying in hotels and not drinking like you were on vacation. Don't consider this a setback and you are NOT at day one. Just subtract last night from your total. You need to hold onto those days you abstained. I think it is crazy to think we can start out doing this is in an extreme way and not feel deprived. I think making small steps that soon becomes habits makes for much more success. And you have made more than small steps. You are fortunate that you did not have the urge to just give in again today; not sure I am at the place of strength yet. If it makes you feel any better you have been an inspiration for me these last few weeks and that fact you drank last night is just a little bump in the road.

[YoungAtHeart]

Thursday, September 28th

Awesome Day In Absville

Wow, I'm blown away by all the moving posts today. Actually, all this heaviness doesn't bother me one bit. I rather like it. I love how we can all play in Absville with our houses and our stores and our beautiful town, but I also like it when we get down to the heart of the matter and talk about those feelings that really matter to us. About parents, children, ourselves.....those are the feelings that contribute to our drinking issues, in my opinion, so I'm happy to see them coming out here. I'm just going to pick up where I left off here.

Barb, I'm curious, how are you and your dad alike, and how does that keep you apart? Can you tell us more if you're willing?? I'm sorry about your FIL. How do you feel about his illness? I haven't lost a close friend, yet, but I know the time is coming. I am thinking about you, and your losing a friend to breast cancer.

Neil, you said that you were going to have a busy week, so I'm glad that you found some time to post, because I've come to enjoy your input. Thank you so much for your compliment. Maybe part of what you are picking up on is the fact that I'm left handed, and therefore my right hemisphere dominates. I am decidedly NOT a linear thinker!! I probably do hold back a bit. I've been told that I can be overwhelming, and I guess I have learned to tone it down a bit!

NoMore, I love your dreams of you dad. Don't be disgruntled about your slips. Actually, you are right, only you can fix it, but it is good to have support--we ALL need it! So how long are you going to be pissed off that you're only human after all???

Hey Gabby, isn't it great when your mom dreams turned supportive and encouraging?? I'm so glad that they are now dreams that you want to return to, instead of nightmares. I had some stuff I needed to work out with my dad, so for a while, I had rather confrontational dreams of him, but now when he appears in my dreams, they are very peaceful and happy.

Macks, you are giving your family the greatest gift by giving them yourself. In your sobriety, you give Lisa and the kids the real Wayne, and that is the greatest gift you can give them.

Sophia, I am so sorry about your son. I think he is making it a bit difficult to help him. AA also has online services, but if he refuses the computer, that won't be an option for him either! It must be painful for you to be so far away. Anyway, thank you for your generous praise of me...

Hey Lisa, okay, now you've gotten it behind you. You did a little "experimenting" last night. So, now they have a new concoction called a Category 5?? I don't even want to know! At any rate, I'm glad you want to be back on board after your experiment! Sometimes you just need to find things out for yourself. I've been there myself, on more than one occasion, and I hope that you've gotten what you needed from the experience. I'm glad you came right here to post about it. Of course, I'm in no position to talk, but please be assured that my feelings about you haven't changed one bit!

Hey, Mojo, it's nice to see your little doggie nose around again!

Hey, I haven't had any more e-mails from my ex all day! :yay: That's a good thing. I'm sure I'll hear more from him once he gets the papers in the mail, though! Oh well. Onward and upward. I feel relieved and better somehow after talking here today. Obviously there was more going on inside than I was aware of!


Love to all,
Kathy:l

[Newyear]

Thursday, September 28th

Hey-

Lush- thank you so much for that. I will stay positive about this- I'm a little disappointed but I was also kind of relieved when I found that I didn't want to drink today. I'm finding that this is a process. But you know, I have learned so much lately and all in all I'm feeling pretty good.
I think I have learned that I am happier sober. I can look myself in the face in the morning when I have gone to bed sober. And I have found that that means an awful lot to me. So weird...because I have started shifting my thinking from thinking that 'I've had a hard day and I deserve a drink because I should treat myself' to more of 'I should take care of myself and be good to myself and that means no alcohol and getting to bed early' It seems so simple but if it were all so easy to do I guess none of us would be here It is second nature for us to take care of others. We would all go out of our way to help a friend, but when it comes to taking care of ourselves - in a positive way- well, not enough time for that.

And I like that I'm not back at day one - thanks, I plan on doing what you said- subtract 1 day and keep going.
Kathy- thank you too for your post...yes, I do think it was a little bit of an experiment. And no, you really don't want to know what a cat 5 is...but now I'm gonna have to tell you..it is basically tequila in a tall glass with a dash(and I do mean a dash) of hurricane mix- holy cow it is strong- and not very good to be quite honest. I didn't actually have all of that drink - everyone had to try it and be amazed at how strong/bad it was. Anway, this is the place for me - experiment is over. I enjoy reading your posts- I count on you being here!!
And now I'm going to brush my teeth and get into a big comfy bed and watch yet another episode of Law and Order.
thanks again...hope you are all having a good evening
lisa