Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

[cpn1004]

Greetings all, hope you don't mind me starting this week's AA thread.
Speaking of the big book, I read the story "Crossing The River Of Denial" last week. Page 334 really spoke to me regarding "control and enjoy his drinking". That really made sense to me this time.

I went through my first sober Christmas and am looking forward to NYE. Have a great week everyone.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Phil: Thank you so much for starting this thread. I've been posting on the last week's not realizing that we have entered another whole week. This was not my first sober Christmas but was my first where I've had quality sobriety leading up to the holiday. It truly was wonderful. I will read that story you mentioned.

Regarding the new year: I have my usual Thurs. meeting which I'll attend. One of our groups is putting on a New Year's day potluck at the church where we meet. I'm happy about that.


Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Phil, thanks for starting the new thread for this week and congratulations on experiencing your first sober Christmas. It must have been somewhat difficult considering your recent loss of your brother. I'm glad you got through it - and I'm betting you must feel very good about that. I too am looking forward to New Years Eve and the start of a fresh New Year. I liked that story too Phil. The line you mentioned jumped out at me too.

Mary, the pot luck sounds like fun on New Years. Congrats on picking up your 9 month chip!!! :yougo:

We will see how New Years Eve day goes work wise. If we feel up to it, me and Mr. D might go to a speaker meeting which will be followed by a pot luck. Whether or not we decide to make that meeting, I will definitely be participating in the "Alkathon" (:H) on New Years Day. We start at 1AM and have a meeting every hour on a step. This will last until 1PM New Years Day when we complete the Step 12 meeting. I volunteered to chair at 6AM for Step 6. I will probably go at 4 or 5 and then stay after the meeting I chair for other meetings just to share in this experience.

I went to the frightfully early 5AM meeting in the neighboring town today, picking up Sister along the way. The more time I spend with her, the more I grow to like and respect her. It has taken time for the relationship to grow beyond what is essential - studying the steps together. On the surface, the two of us couldn't be more different. But like all alcoholics, we are finding our similarities. I really liked the Daily Reflections reading today, which was what we discussed at this meeting:

SUIT UP AND SHOW UP

In A.A. we aim not only for sobriety - we try again
to become citizens of the world that we rejected, and
of the world that once rejected us. This is the
ultimate demonstration toward which Twelfth Step work
is the first but not the final step.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 21

The old line says, "Suit up and show up." That action
is so important that I like to think of it as my motto.
I can choose each day to suit up and show up, or not.
Showing up at meetings starts me toward feeling a part
of that meeting, I can talk with newcomers, and I can
share my experience; that's what credibility, honesty,
and courtesy really are. Suiting up and showing up are
the concrete actions I take in my ongoing return to
normal living.

The phrase "suit up and show up" made me think of the entire process of learning to LIVE again. I had isolated myself so deeply in the final years of drinking that I really needed to learn how to actually LIVE LIFE each day all over again. AA has put some icing on the cake for me in that regard.

Have a terrific day everyone! And Mary, congratulations again on your 9 months of sobriety!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

I saw this daily reading & also loved the "show up & suit up" quote. For so many years I was taking the easy way out, only to find that my life was a mess as a result. Yes, there are times when I'd rather not "suit up" but I know now that as member of the human race that's exactly what I have to do.

Love, Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Hi Mary and also any "lurkers!"

I wish I could describe todays meeting. It was very good - a "brain burner" of sorts for me as the topics hit very close to home and gave me much food for thought. The details that came out in the discussion are just impossible to describe adequately, even in one of my sandwich worthy posts. The following subjects were interwoven in the discussion:

* procrastination
* what drives procrastination (i.e., it's not always laziness. Often it's fear of something such as failure)
* perfectionism (and "all or nothing")
* grandiose thinking (especially as it related to upcoming New Years, and "resolutions")

It was just one of those days where trying to describe what I got out of this meeting would be like trying to describe a 3D thing using 2D. Suffice it to say I realize that I have a lot of work to do still on defects such as fear and perfectionism. Well, and we can also throw in a dose of laziness although I realized that some of what I used to think was laziness is actually more fear driven.

Anyway, who has brain power to think about drinking when the topics are mentially challenging as this one was for me today? :H

There was one guy there who relapsed this past year after 4 years sober in AA. He told the usual story of drifting away...fewer and fewer meetings until no meetings, got away from the material and just putting any sort of daily effort into his sobriety. (took it for granted.) He said it was really difficult to drag his butt back through the doors, but he KNOWS what the sober people have in AA, because he had it before. And he wants it back. It was good as always to hear that message - and to be reminded that I can never afford complacency.

None of this mental work towards personal growth would be possible if I were still drinking. At least there was one very simple and straight forward message for today!

Strength and hope to all,

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

DG: It's incredible what we learn about ourselves when we have some sober thinking going on. I just got back from a speaker meeting. It was very good. The speaker & other sharers also described that process of falling away from the program & into drinking alcoholically. Another point they made was how much harder real sobriety is after relapses (& harder still after multiple relapses). I frequently hear: "I'm doing things differently THIS TIME AROUND." I want this time to be my only time. I won't take a vacation from the program, because I know what would follow. I also love the energy that I get out of the posts on this thread. I like when you process some of your thoughts about meetings here, because it gives me food for thought. Keep it up, I love it! In the meantime, take care one & all.

Love, Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Good evening Mary, DG and Phil. Great readings. I've been busy with the holidays etc and haven't been on MWO in a few weeks. Still attending AA mtgs about 4 or 5 times per week.
It's funny about that reading last night, Show up and suit up. I couldn't hear initially very well when the reading was happening and I originally thought they said show up and shut up
I was trying to figure out what the reading meant by that and thought maybe it was to show up and listen. Both have their merits, but I the show up and suit up is much better.

DG, where was that discussion from on procrastination and perfectionism. I really would like to look at that. It fits me to a "T".

Complacency, wow. Not a good thing when it comes to AA. We too had someone at a mtg recently say he had 5 1/2 yrs and stopped going to meetings and went back out. Not good for that individual, but good to hear about and also that they are happy to be back on track. Reinforces what we all feel drawn to do... attend meetings to keep it fresh and keep us on track.

Hope everyone is doing well. Glad to be back online and checking in.

Winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Hi Mary. I really benefit too from our sharing here. I'm glad we do it! I'm with you as far as wanting this to be my last time around. I know to have a shot at that, I have to make sobriety my #1 priority each and every day, and put effort into that. I really do believe that for us alcoholics, AL really is waiting there patiently for us, no matter how long we've been sober. I might not LIKE that fact, but I believe it's true, none the less. Too many people have relapsed by getting complacent, even after years of sobriety, for me to think that somehow I'm *special* and exempt from that possibility.

Good to see you WF! Glad to hear that you are keeping up sobriety despite the festive (and BUSY!) season. The discussion was an "open topic" thing so not really based on a specific reading - at least not from one dated yesterday or a specific page in a book that I can reference. It was such a good topic. I think fear of failure and fear of being less than perfect play a greater role in my life than I realize.

Today was my last meeting chairing of the 6 month commitment. I've really learned a lot from the experience. The discussion was from the Daily Reflections and today, that topic was the 12th Tradition and anonymity. Sometimes discussions based on a tradition can seem dry, but todays discussion was actually quite lively. I realize that my own view of anonymity within the AA program has broadened (appropriately so, I think) the longer I've been in the program. Initially, my view was a very self centered one. It was all about anonymity for ME. I wasn't really thing about other people's anonymity nor the broader purpose of anonymity and how it applies to the AA program as a whole. I think the main thing I got out of todays discussion is a realization that I am growing over time in positive ways. All the material stays the same, but my perception of it changes and deepens. This is good.

The universe has been incredibly good to me this year. I am so grateful to be sober and to have at least some appreciation for it.

Strength and hope,

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Anonymity is indeed a spiritual foundation of AA. Without it, AA probably wouldn't have survived. Yes, I too thought about anonymity as protecting MY identity, but it is more than that. I would welcome an opportunity to go to a tradition meeting on that one. I'm sure I will sometime soon. In the meantime, I have plenty joyous, sober holidays ahead: New Years Eve w/the family sans alcohol. New Years Day w/my fav AA group. Meetings all weekend. I couldn't be happier, & I too cannot believe my good fortune in finding AA. Mary

[Sheepish]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Lurker here...
Wishing you all a Happy and Healthy 2010
Many thanks
-Sheep

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Everyone: I hope everyone that reads & shares here has a wonderful New Year's Eve. It feels very different, not only because I won't be drinking, but also because I have a new view of life. In the nine short months that I've been sober, my whole life has changed:
-I no longer have that hate-myself-because-I-drank feeling.
-I have confidence that I can tackle problems wo/having to avoid them.
-I have lost the obsession to drink & the feeling that I have to numb life out.
-I'm living an honest, forthright life...not hiding a very big secret.
-I'm feeling physically better...I know when I'm tired & can rest wo/any kind of chemical.
-I know what I'm doing & saying at all times.
-I make mistakes & can chalk them up to being human instead of being drunk.
-I have a higher power today who has answered my prayer for sobriety, even when I wasn't so sure an HP was even there.
-These & many other blessings make me a very happy person.

I know that my life will continue to have ups & downs...whose doesn't? However, as I get through every new challenge, I gain the confidence that I had lost w/the onset & prgression of alcoholism.

I'll continue in AA & MWO. My meetings & this site help me process new ideas & ways of being. I'm looking forward to the new year.

Thank you everyone!

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Great words Mary. I'm looking forward to my first AF NYE. I've been sober at a few of them but always drank, usually to the extreme including the morning after and all that. I don't have to do that now.
Instead I will "party" with my grandchildren.
Happy New Year everyone.

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Lurker here as well...Happy, Healthy, Sober 2010 everyone. All of your contributions are an inspiration to me. Thank you all!!

Hugs..R2C

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

Happy New Year AAers and lurkers!! Hi Sheep and R2C, it's always good to *see* you both. And Phil - partying with your G-kids sounds fabulous! I've had way too many of the *other* type of New Years Eves that you describe and I'm grateful I don't have to do that any more.

Mary, I love your list. I can identify with all of it. I especially like this one:

-I have a higher power today who has answered my prayer for sobriety, even when I wasn't so sure an HP was even there.

It took some time for me to truly feel this in my heart. But I believe I finally do. I hope that feeling just continues to grow.

Our meeting this morning was terrific. We ended up talking about "gifts" of 2009. Lots of tears of gratitude today, and that includes among the Grown Men. And of course me. I am so grateful to be finding myself and slowly working to eliminate (or at least reduce!) my fears that have held me hostage for so long.

I love todays Daily Reflections Reading: Daily Reflections

Daily Resolutions

The idea of "twenty-four-hour" living applies primarily to the
emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not
live in yesterday, nor in tomorrow.
As Bill Sees It, p. 284

A New year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600
minutes--a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must
make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally
within a twenty-four hour frame, for if I do, I don't have to make
New Year's resolutions! I can make every day a New Year's day! I
can decide, "Today I will do this . . . Today I will do that." Each day
I can measure my life by trying to a little better, by deciding to follow
God's will and making an effort to put the principles of our A.A.
program into action.

I'm not "perfect" at anything. But even my imperfect attempt to truly live one day at a time is paying huge dividends in the peace of mind, and joy of living department. I'm so grateful to be learning new life skills from AA.

There is a pot luck and speaker meeting, then a dance at the club tonight. Then an "Alkathon" starts at 1AM where there is a meeting every hour on the hour going through all of the steps. I will be chairing Step 6 at 6AM. A guy I really like from one of my home groups is chairing Step 5 at 5AM. So I plan to go to that meeting first, then maybe stay for Step 7 too. I'm sure I will get something out of each meeting as I always do. I'm looking forward to spending some New Years Morning Time that way.

I love you all and you make such a difference in my life. :l Happy New Year! Strength and hope to anyone lurking here who is suffering today. There IS a way out. Don't stop looking until you find yours.

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Dec 28 - Jan 3

I've been lurking here lately, too. I love the peace and quiet wisdom I see here every day.

Have a wonderful, happy and hopeful AF New Year (I am) - much, much love to you all! :h