Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Ret, I know for me I have to start attending live AA meetings if I want to stay sober. I don't know if it is the meetings that I don't like so much as the connection I felt with the people of the group I first went too. Maybe I'm just trying to re-create that connection I feel with the group I like.

Today a lay-off was announced where I work. It did not impact me but did impact people I know. Although the thought of a drink did cross my mind, I know that it would not solve anything and I also know I deal with things better sober than drunk.

Today is day 4 for me and for today I am feeling good about being sober.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Hi all! Cuckoo, special :yougo: on your 4 days AF! Also, big welcome to Yoga and MA.

Different meetings seem to have "different personalities" to me too. There are some that naturally feel more comfortable than others. Once I accepted that we are all equals around the table in our battle with a common enemy, I became more open minded about trying to gain something positive out of each and every meeting rather than focusing on my "comfort zone" of similarity to "like" a meeting, or seeking differences that could explain my discomfort in a meeting. I also realized that at times, it's the SUBJECT hitting real close to home that might be the cause of discomfort for me, more than other factors.

I remember being pleasantly suprised when I walked into a meeting where I was 1) the only female and 2) the only person in the room without a tattoo and 3) had the least (by far) amount of pierced places on my body. I found out later this meeting is called "The Biker and Street People Meeting." To make this even funnier, I had just come from making a business presentation, and was in a suit. That is FAR more "dressed up" than I typically get, even for business these days. I was amazed when I was accepted into the rythem of the meeting without a sideways glance. And as always, I could relate to something in what each and every person said.

I treasure the friendships and the "comfort zone" I feel with the home groups I have settled into. But I also like getting out of my comfort zone as I always learn something from that experience too.

Any of you who travel through Chicago may have heard of the Mustard Seed. Apparently, the closed meetings there are quite an experience. One of these days I want to make it to one of those meetings.

I haven't had much time to post the last few days - the ending of the holidays brought a "busy season" with it! But the meetings I have been attending have been awesome. On Sunday we talked about Step 6 and the importance of "humility" not to be confused with "humiliation." One thing that really struck home with me was a man who talked about the search for happiness which for him, involved "chasing the next shiny object" and of course, never ending up happy. I spent many years doing that. Another woman talked about how she has spent years *waiting* for her husband to make her happy. That doesn't work either, and that is certainly something I *waited* for, and then was mighty mad (and drank over it) when I wasn't treated like the Perfect Princess I thought I deserved to be. I wrote this quote in my 12&12:

Happiness is a by product of living right - doing the next right thing and serving others.

That seems so obvious and sensible, and yet it's not where my natural instincts lead me. I have to work at keeping my head somewhere near the right track. But indeed, I sometimes experience feelings of happiness and peace of mind - contentment - that I always chased, but never actually FELT before sobriety and working the AA program.

Funny. Now if I find myself in an upset sort of mode, what I CRAVE is my peace of mind back. I actually think of that most of the time before any fleeting thoughts of "a drink would be good to solve this problem." That in itself is truly a miracle.

I am also generally enjoying all the readings this month. Step one and acceptance - ahhhh what a relief. Here is the link to the daily readings in case anyone doesn't have it book marked already. Daily Recovery Readings

And the Big Book on-line: Big Book Online Fourth Edition

Strength and Hope to all!

DG

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Thank you, doggygirl for your keen insight and the readings. I love the quote.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

DG & cucoosnest: I too have ended up at some very "different-than-me" types of meetings. One of the first meetings I ever went to was entirely of men also & most of them the rough-&-ready types. I looked & felt like the grandmother of the group. However, that meeting has welcomed me very warmly, & I eventually joined it.

I definitely feel resistance to certain meetings. I have found that the discomfort & resistance is all about me:
-at one meeting it felt like certain individuals dominated the discussion.
-at another meeting I recognized someone as a student from the school I taught at.
-at another meeting I recognized people I had known in Alanon.
-etc.

It was all about me & my pride or my image.

I'm just starting to understand the whole concept of doing the next right thing for the next right reason. Also, I've been asking to have HP reveal my motives for the things I do, say, & think. That helps to remove the blocks I feel about certain meetings.

Anyhow, I'm doing OK, but my life has taken on some complications. I know I can work through them if I stay sober & in the moment one day at a time.

Mary

[YogaHeart25]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Thanks for the welcome. The only thing that keeps me sober is AA. Womens's meetings drove me out of the rooms. I guess I get the most out of mixed discussion meetings....it is wild to hear "guys" say what comes from their heart. I am not getting too involved or too close to anyone just yet. That was my mistake before....but, I am journaling about each meeting...which helps me. I may get deeper into it soon.

Funny note....a girl walks up to me....I am thinking she knows me from before....no, she knows me from a past job. We had a nice chat.

[jessie]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

DG, I like the quote so much that I wrote it down on the inside front page of RJ's book.

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Good morning. Made it thru day 4 despite some more unsettling news. Weekends are always a test for me so my plan is to attend an on-line AA meeting tonight when I get home from the animal shelter, a face to face AA meeting on Sunday, and logging on here thru out the weekend.

Have a good Friday.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Hi all!

Cuckoo, I'm sorry to hear about the unsettling news. Life is sure nicer when it's just...well...nice. Sounds like you have a good plan for the weekend. If there is any positive side to bad news, I suppose it's that we get an opportunity to learn to deal with problems without our old friend AL. I wish you well for a strong weekend.

Yoga, I found it a bit disconcerting at first when I would see "real life" people at AA, or see AA people at "real life" stuff. I'm really used to it at this stage. As Mary as said so often, I'm not a criminal - just a person battling a disease. Nothing wrong with that. Great that the two of you were able to talk!

This is my second day in a row without being able to go to a meeting. (I never get to go on Fridays, but I had to miss yesterday and I almost always go on Thursday!) I will miss tomorrow morning too as I will be going to a big Mary Kay event. No urges to drink, but I'm finding myself missing my new friends. Go figure. Never would have thought THAT would happen in my pre-AA or early AA days.

I have been connecting at least briefly with my sponsor by phone each morning. She doesn't drive much in the winter so we do "phone meetings." I can't believe I am becoming friends with a Nun - my feelings about her go much further than just my AA teacher. We had to cut our conversation short this morning, so I didn't get to hear about a rare lunch and shopping trip she took with another Sister who is her best friend on Wednesday. I just have a feeling that between the two of them, there is a funny story in there somewhere! I find myself looking forward to our next talk so we can catch up like friends do. Amazing. Who woulda thunk it. HP is working in my life I think - and in unexpected ways.

Well, I'm off to my morning business meeting. Have a great day one and all. Strength and hope to anyone who is suffering today.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Morning to all, just back from my 630 am meeting. It is cold here in Texas, 17 degrees F., or something. Yeah, I know, that is not really cold but it is to me. Anyway, I didn't go to my meeting yesterday because of the "cold" weather. It was pointed out to me that any kind of weather never stopped me from drinking.....Hmmm.....might be a lesson there.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Yogaheart: I too find it amazing seeing guys (especially that real macho type) speak so sincerely from the heart. Also, I didn't pressure myself to make connections in AA & continue along that path. That said: After some months, I did make some really wonderful friendships. I'm letting my HP be my guide. However, I am examining myself before writing off a particular meeting. It's usually about me.

Phil: Yes, I too went through a lot of stupid stuff to get a drink. Cold weather would never have stopped me. Here in New England in the winter, I'm always battling myself w/the "should I or shouldn't I go" question. Again, how badly do I want to stay sober? Will I go to any lengths? I think it's amazing that you go to a 6:30 meeting (not to mention DG's 5:00 AM meeting). I'm still not a morning person.

DG: I think your relationship w/sister is so, so cool.

Mary

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

DG, yes life is much nicer when it is....nice. I'm now on day 5 and had to fight with myself a little tonight about stopping but didn't do it. Worked late at the shelter since there were only 2 of us. After spending 3.5 hours at the shelter and 8 hours at work don't have the energy to drink. Tomorrow will be another fight, I know, but I won't succumb because I know I will be back at square one.

Ret and CPN, you are so right about the weather not stopping someone from drinking but prevents us from doing so many other things. I was like the US postal service with my drinking, not sleet , rain, snow, nor threat of hail could stop me from making a run to the liquor store. Truly hope those days are behind me but will concentrate on staying sober on day 6.

DG, would like to hear the story if there is one and you can share.

Have a good night all.

Cucks

[MauMcL]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Hey Cucks. I've enjoyed reading this everybody since I am considering AA. I'll check in here tomorrow and maybe we can chat or something, OK, Cucks since it's going to be hard for me tomorrow also (weekends are my downfall).

Question: You don't have to hang out with people you meet at AA meeting outside of the meetings, right? I mean there's not a lot of pressure to do that is there? I understand if a person wants to and has time to, that's one thing....But if you don't or can't...That is fine too?

How does it work with the sponsor? Does somebody just come up to you and say, "I'd like to be your sponsor." What if you are not connecting with that person? How do you say 'no' and not hurt their feelings? Just curious how this works.

Hope you all made it through the night soberly. I did! xoxo

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

MauMcL, I will be home most all day Saturday so I will be on MWO a lot. Be happy to chat.

DG or Ret, can you please respond about the sponsors since I don't have one yet. Thank you.

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

P.S. I LOVE WAKING UP SOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Mau: You don't have to do anything you don't want to do in terms of hanging out w/AAers. I didn't reach out to people for months & months. I'm making a few friends now but am not pushing myself. As far as a sponsor, when you feel ready to work the steps, you can ask someone you can identify with & who also has a good amount of sober time. I attended meetings & tried not to judge what was said &/or what was going on. I wouldn't be sober today if it weren't for AA (& MWO). I wanted to be sober so much that I was willing to do anything I had to do. Mary