Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

How does this work as far as getting into this program? Can you just show up, do you need to contact the organization first, or what? I looked at the website with the local meetings - there seem to be various types, etc. Do you have any suggestions for someone who has zero experience and is easily overwhelmed? Thanks - I appreciate your input!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Dance: You don't have to sign up or anything like that. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. If you've looked at the website & found out where/what the local meetings are, all you have to do is show up. Usually at the beginning of each meeting, the chair asks if there are any newcomers. If you wish to identify yourself as a newcomer, people will say "welcome" & may even come up after the meeting to exchange a few words. You don't have to identify as a newcomer if you don't want to. Yes, there are different types of meetings: step, discussion, speaker, Big Book, women/men only. I go to any kind of meetings, except for men's meetings (because I'm a woman). I was confused a little at first, but all that is clearing up now. I was willing to live w/the uncertainty just to be able to stay sober. Good luck, Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Thanks, Mary!

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Thanks to all of you who always post on this thread, I have been an chronic "lurker" here for quite some time, and I feel I am about to really build the courage to attend AA. When I first joined this site, there is no way I would have considered that option, but listening to all of you, I feel much differently now. Just need to get my head in the right place and go.

Any way, thanks to all of you ; you are my heroes!!

Horsegirl

[cuckoosnest83]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Dance, one other thing that confused me was meetings were also classified as closed or open. I thought that meant I couldn't go to closed meetings but closed meetings, as I understand it, are only for alcoholics while open meetings are open to anyone. Which means if I wanted to take a friend with me to an open meeting I could.

Mary or DG, please correct me if I am wrong or if you can explain it better.

Horsegirl, walking into your first meeting is the most difficult. I found once I had that out of the way, it was easier to attend other meetings.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Thanks, Cuckoo!

I agree with Horsegirl - reading on this thread from actual people involved in AA has made me more open to the idea. I see my own beliefs on getting and staying sober are definitely in line with what you folks are doing. One more step forward....

"Keep going forward" is kind of a New Years resolution I came up with. Becoming AF was a huge deal, and I decided if I was able to that, I could use what I learned there to improve other areas of my life. I'm kind of social phobic, so the idea of AA was kind of frightening. I am committed to staying AF, and taking another step in that direction seems logical.

Thanks again to all of you on this thread.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

I've been finding that as I push through difficult situations, I come out the other side 100% stronger. I was so scared going into the meetings at first. I always had the impulse to run back to my car. I'm so glad I didn't, because I've found my sobriety in AA. In MWO, I found out I was an alcoholic. I found that I wasn't drinking like a normal person. I broke through the denial of: "I"m not so bad." Also, in MWO I was able to have some significant periods of AF living. However, I needed to admit my drinking problem out loud to live people & join in the fellowship of AA in order to have sobriety that would last.

Yes, the open meetings are for anyone to go to...my husb isn't an alcoholic & goes w/me to a meeting on Sat. nights that we really like. Closed meetings are for people w/a drinking problem.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

I can't tell you what it means to me that I might have had a little bit of a part in having someone consider AA. The 12th step of AA is about spreading the message (& not being obnoxious about it), & so I think I'm doing some 12th step work here...along w/my wonderful AA friends here at MWO. Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

For any of considering your first AA meeting I highly recommend reading "Undrunk"
Undrunk: A Skeptic's Guide to AA (Paperback)

~ A.J. Adams

A.J. Adams (Author)
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(Author)
It is the best "newcomers" book I have seen.
Hope this helps,

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Hi all..haven't been to a meeting in a while, but have been reading the Big Book and Living Sober.

Today I attended my first Big Book Study meeting. I usually attend Speaker meetings and occasionally womens meetings. FOR ME, I found that the womens meeting that I have attended seem to be more of a session of complaining about their husbands or work or whatever. It seems to get a little off topic to me, but I havent gone to that many so I am definately not an expert. I have always enjoyed the Speaker meetings I attend.

I liked the mixture of both sexes. We read a story from the Big Book and various persons shared how this related to their drinking experiences. One man spoke of how even the love of his three children, which he is raising by himself has not been able to keep him away from the drink. He related how he cried to his sponser that at 51 he still didn't know who he was and where he was going. This is something I can definately relate to.

I loved his sponsers answer: He said, Lucky you, you have a clean slate to learn who you are and you have options of where you WANT to go. I thought that felt so freeing! I just love that I always take something away from these meetings. That Dancealot and Horsegirl are what makes it worth the first awkward step into your first meeting. You may have to search around a bit to find one your most comfortable in, but EVERYONE attending is there for the same reason. Give it a shot. I think you'll be suprised. Let us know your experience.

R2C

[YogaHeart25]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

I always walk away

With something useful...even if it just knowing I am not alone. Women only meetings are not for me....I do like the mixture as well...they seem to stay more on topic.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Hi everyone! For me, AA has provided a few "missing links" that have helped me move from what I will call a "white knuckle" sobriety to what I am starting to feel now - what I will call "contented sobriety." I have learned of myself that a huge pitfall for me was getting WAY too far ahead of myself thinking / worrying about the future. This "worry about the future" way of thinking kept me outside of the AA rooms for a long time. Questions like "What if I don't like it?" do not seem like a very big deal if I think in terms of today, and going to one meeting to check it out. That question takes on a freakishly scary tone if I think in terms of "going to a meeting every day for the rest of my life" or even "go to 90 meetings in 90 days." I'm grateful to be learning to take on life's opportunities and challenges in the context of "today" without making things overly large with "future" worries.

I too enjoy the mixed company meetings and find it interesting when men and women respond to the topic with so much similarity sometimes. (Differences too - but there always seems to be a way we relate) I enjoy speaker meetings where there is more one speaker and many listeners. I also enjoy discussion type meetings where there is a topic - a Big Book reading or other AA reading (such as the ones like Daily Reflections - see the link for daily readings) where many people give their thoughts.

I have never seen anyone pressured to speak. I have always seen everyone welcome newcomers with open arms. At the meetings I attend, it is always left to the individual to ask a person to sponsor them when they are ready. It is common to agree to a "temporary" arrangement for BOTH parties so you can work together for a bit and see how it goes. My first sponsor relationship did not work out. That was a bit uncomfortable for me, but learning how to deal with uncomfortable situations without alcohol is certainly a skill I need to learn anyway. I got through it with some good new skills and am much better off for the experience. So it's all good when viewed as a life skill learning opportunity.

Also, learning how to say "no" is something I have to work on, and AA at times affords me that opportunity. My old way of handling nearly any request was to feel obligated to say "yes" then be angry and drink over it. And then work on ways to get out of it if I didn't want to do it. NOT healthy. It is OK to say "no" when that is the right answer. I'm still learning and working on that one - guilt free "nos"!!!!

I really like the book "undrunk" that Phil suggested. (thank you Phil!!)

Well, I'm off to my 12Steps and 12Traditions meeting and then the gym. Have a great day one and all!

DG

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

DG...that is one of the "ah ha" moments I had yesterday, learning to live in the present. I have heard this said many times, but never really grasped it. Not that I have perfected it in one day, by any means. Just have a better concept of it. Before I used to think that if I broke sobriety down to one day at a time, or even one hour at a time, I was subconsientously giving myself an open opportunity to drink down the line. Not making the long term commitment.

Now I understand it better, that by living in the present, you don't have time to worry about what will happen next week, next year or even tomorrow. I'm sure this will take a while to perfect, well at least to learn to mindfully practice. But when I think of all the beautiful things I miss presently when my mind is wandering, it really is a shame.

So that is my current lesson, to learn to be in the present. Then I don't have the time to worry about the future.

R2C

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

R2C, I can COMPLETELY relate to what you are saying. I too really missed the mark with the "one day at a time" concept, only applying it to drinking. And therefore thinking the concept lacked a long term committment to sobriety. I hadn't a CLUE that applying "one day at a time" to ALL of my life (within reason of course) could help me enjoy life more, and also have a LOT more peace of mind, even during difficult times. I too find I have to work to keep my head in the right place. AA meetings really help me do that along with my other daily sobriety work (MWO check in, prayers/meditation, especially serenity prayer, step work, etc.)

Going back a few posts - I was thinking again this morning when the temperature was -5 degrees that I was nuts for going out in it to the AA meeting. And I thought about our posting here - about the great lengths I went to in order to drink. -5 degrees would NOT have stopped me going out to the liquor store. I wouldn't even have thought twice about it. So off to the meeting I went and I'm so glad I did.

Today we talked about the 7th tradition which says that all AA groups will be self supporting. On the surface this seems all about financially, but in our discussion today we agreed it is about more than that. For those who may not be able to put anything in the basket, there is more we need to give. Our meetings need to be set up, books set out, the room cleaned up and straightened up after. There may be people who need rides to or from the meeting. The concept of "self supporting" applies beyond just paying the rent for the room where we meet. We also talked about how we can apply this tradition to our day to day lives. Most of us were financially and otherwise irresponsible in some way shape or form when we were drinking. Sober, we are better able to make sound decisions financially and otherwise to clean up our messes and carry forward in a better way.

It was a good meeting as always. There was a girl who came who really struggles with sobriety and it hasn't clicked for her yet. She clearly had a rough night. Everyone welcomed her. We've all been there. As long as she keeps showing up there is hope that she will be able to achieve sobriety someday.

Strength and hope to all,

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 4 - 10

Thanks again Cuckoo, Mary, Phil, Ready2change, YogaHeart, Doggygirl for all the information.

I'll let you all know how it goes. I did find out there are three different locations very close to me, as well as a variety of days and times, and I'll check out the book and online as well.

Thanks again - you guys are so great! :h