sun 10 jan

[bear73]

day 1 for me here - i felt nervous and hungry and used that as an excuse - 3 beers and 2 wines - too much.
feel a bit hungover and first derby practice in ages so that's gonna be tough, BUT reinforced that don't wanna keep doing this.
one day at a time - had the 'it's not fair' thing and needing comfort/food/feeling bit shy and socially awkward.
words of wisdom be appreciated keep thinking of modding but know i can't do it(last night wasn't modding)

[greeneyes]

sun 10 jan

Morning AFers!!

Aw, bear. Have you decided how to improve your plan? What tools could have helped? Those feelings are not new, but apparently stronger at that moment so what can be different next time? (In search of the iron-clad plan!) Maybe it's too early to go to social events like parties. Drink a bucket of water today before practice so it doesn't kick your arse. bear, it was a huge relief for me to quit even thinking about modding. To know in your heart you can't, and accept that in your heart gives you trememdous power and freedom. Never means never and covers all the bases for you.

Not much to say here at the moment. Going to light the fire and wallow around with the paper.

You folks keep racking up those sober days!!! Doing great!

Have a succulent sunday!

[com1]

sun 10 jan

I must strongly agree with greenie. Confronting the thought process that would allow me to continue to believe that at some point I could moderate was a huge hurdle to clear. Once over that hurdle and firmly KNOWING that I must be AF, I am able to plan accordingly.

If I held on to even a thread of a chance that I could moderate, I would be on a lifelong rollercoaster of drinking and stopping as I made my futile attempts at modding. When we are finally totally honest with ourselves and our limitations and confront our inner beasts, it becomes much much clearer what needs to be done.

com

[Lavande]

sun 10 jan

Good morning Abbers!

Another chilly one here - Brrrr.

bear, sorry to hear about your day. What Greenie said is so true - once you accept in your heart that you just cannot drink you gain much power & freedom. It takes the question off the table forever more!

Greenie, I'm trying to train at least one of my dogs to go out & get the paper for me ~ so far no luck Guess I'll go get it myself!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Sunday - stay warm
Lav

[Lavande]

sun 10 jan

Hi Com1 - cross post

[Marshy]

sun 10 jan

Hello bear, greenie, com, Lav & all to come,

com1;788399 wrote: IIf I held on to even a thread of a chance that I could moderate, I would be on a lifelong rollercoaster of drinking and stopping as I made my futile attempts at modding.

Yep.
Honesty is crucial. Be honest about what you can and can't do, and also what you want. Sit down and give it some thought - where do you go from here? Or, as com says, you could spend years not getting the results you want.

Slightly warmer here today. Ice melting. I'm going to have a slouchy day. Gonna make a batch of soup (bean and carrot - dunno what that will be like, but I have loads of beans and loads of carrots so it sounds like a plan).

From yesterday: Hidden Goal - I read "Drinking, A Love Story" about a year ago now. Thought it was great but it took me a long time to get through coz I found it hard work emotionally. Might read it again now I'm feeling stronger.

[Determinator]

sun 10 jan

Happy Sunday ABerooooos!

Bear, ditto the fine advice above. Maybe try to stick to some 100% healthy places until you have some AF time under your belt? I've never been offered a drink at the book store, library, gym, shooting range, tennis court, etc. they are truly good places to 'unwind'.

a succulent Sunday? I like the way that sounds

be well

[Chief]

sun 10 jan

Hi All,

Day 7 here and feeling good.

Modding?........never happen with me. I have accepted the fact that I can't drink alcohol....ever. And once I TRUELY accepted it, it was like a big burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Debating whether or not we can ever get back to "social drinking" is time consuming, nerve racking, and gets in the way of thinking and planning and doing sobriety. It tends to have us thinking in the back of our mind that this "little AF stunt" is just temporary and after it's over we can go back to modding.

Defeats the purpose of going AF in the first place. If we could mod, we wouldn't be here.

Think about it Bear...

Have a good day everyone...

Don

[hiddengoal]

sun 10 jan

Day 7

Morning AFreedom Riders!

Bear, good for you to just face it and move on. I truly believe its about dealing with our emotions - we tried to run away from them to the bottle. When uncomfortable with a feeling, we sometimes didn't even know what the feeling was, just uncomfortable so drink something. I read about an AA tool - keep track of triggers using HALT - are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?)

Yep, just finished 'Drinking, A Love Story", and yes, a little hard to read because its so much about dealing, or not dealing, with emotions. The way to go is THROUGH the emotions, not around them. Otherwise, those ghosts we thought we maneuvered around catch hold of our backs and pull us back. Gotta look straight on, and trudge through each emotional moment and breathe.....I think that's the only way to get un-stuck. It is VERY HARD WORK with the best rewards - real living. But thankfully, like in the movie 'Blind Side', we got each others backs!!

Woke up with a headache and bodyaches, but first night of good sleep without a sleep aid. Feel like it might be flu coming on, cause I know its not AL! It feels great to be certain of that!

Good Day ALL!

Hidden

[Doggygirl]

sun 10 jan

Good day Ab Landers!

Bear, thanks for getting us started today. Good that you keep coming back no matter what. If you want sobriety, I'm sure you will figure it out. I think Deter is onto a very good observation. Will this be possible for you if you don't take some time away from settings where AL is just SO readily available? I know I had to take some time away. I just wasn't strong enough to hang out with drinking friends and/or in bars/restaurants until I had quite a bit of sober time under my belt. It might be possible for some, but it was NOT possible for me. I had to decide what my priorities were. Sobriety was, and will have to remain my #1 priority on a daily basis if I am to keep the good life that I have built since my last drink. Just some food for thought as you re-evaluate your own plan.

HG it's great to see you here. That book was quite a read for me too. Identify?? Indeedy.

Marshy - I thought of you yesterday at the Mary Kay event!!! :H And I thought of what it would be like if it were 900 Chinese ladies instead of 900 American ladies. It actually was a good event. The company has very good principles (IMO) and it was remarkable to be among so many women, all tiffed (dressed up / made up) and being so nice to one another. THAT never would have happened in any of my former corporate life experiences! That many women would have been clawing each others eyes out. :H The motivation parts were "OK" - I suppose would have been more exciting had I not sat through about a zillion of those throughout my career. The training part was awesome. I'm also signed up for a seminar in April with the make up artist who does all the models for the Mary Kay catalogs, but also does the make up for the Dixie Chicks and some other big names. That should be interesting. I wonder if I can learn to make everyone look 29 regardless of any actual birthdays. Now I must find 15 faces.

It's a chilly day here. I'm trying to get some office stuff done then have a movie afternoon with Mr. D. :l

Have a great day all,

DG

[KateH1]

sun 10 jan

Hi All,
Bear, sorry that you chose to drink yesterday. Sometimes, in fact, most of us have had a few false starts before we get in our 30 days and beyond. The important thing is that we learn from our experience. I am glad that you came back here!

Don....Day 7...who hooooo! Yeah! You are beginning to sound like the Don we all know and love!!

DG...sounds like you are really enjoying your new career in Mary Kay. As you know, makeup artistry was my soul career for a number of years, it is still a passion of mine! These days, I focus much more on the business aspects of the beauty biz, but given the chance, I still love swinging a makeup brush! Have you ever read the Kevin Oquoin books? He was truly a master artist! The Bobby Brown books are also very well done! Enjoy!

I had a very busy day yesterday with my daughter, checking out all we will need to get ready for the arrival of the baby in April! We have our work cut out for us! It is so exciting!

Today I am getting a few things done and dinner with Dave tonight! Boy! weekends do fly by!

Have a wonderful rest of Sunday, All!

[Sunbeam]

sun 10 jan

Bear, good for you poppin' back here to post your excursion. The easiest thing is to give in, and you won't do that, not with the support you have here.

Marshy, bean and carrot soup sounds like my kind of fare. My husband made a great meal last night: pan-seared salmon with dill and butter sauce, on top of a mix of white beans, apples and onions, on top of a green salad with red peppers and cucumbers. Yum! I am tempted to go grab the left-overs before he gets them, but I will actually offer him half of the remaining salmon. There is plenty of the rest of the stuff.

The whole modding thing has always been a strange concept to me. I have always wanted to drink like a normal person. Thing is, most people don't drink much, not even a glass per day. A huge percentage of the population is AF. I have mostly limited my drinking to one day per weekend for more than a year, and then stopping at 2-3 glasses. Way better than before, though I was never a daily drinker. My ongoing problem is that I still think about it too much on weekends, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of using Drink Tracker, tired of posting here though the people are great. Alcohol is nothing great, my life is better without it. I made it through this weekend without a second thought, and I'm hoping I can just fade this addiction out of my life. But I feel like if I leave the door open a crack (the special occasion option), I want it less. Is that "The Beast" talking, or will this work for me? Only time will tell. We each need to find out own way out. Thanks for listening, and I hope that someone reading this will learn more about the bigger picture in the mods life.

[greeneyes]

sun 10 jan

Wow you find out all kinds of stuff here.

Kate I didn't know you did make up. A relative went to a make-up school in CA.. .LA area. Joe Blasco?

DG why did you think of marshy and chinese women at the Mary Kay thing?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Sunbeam, what is a piece of string for someone may be a heavy noose for another. When you refer to a "special occasion" option, that would hang me in a very short period of time. A special occasion like my feet hitting the floor in the morning. There can be no "open a crack"; that door has to be shut and locked tight at all times. I can't be involved in a degree of wanting scenario. I think that what you struggle with in figuring out your comfort zone of interest or lack of is very different than the thought process of people who cannot mod. I don't think I can actually learn anything more about the mods life because I just can't relate to it. I do hope it works for you. But if time will tell, how much time? Until you fail? I don't understand that part either.

[Marshy]

sun 10 jan

DG - sounds like you're having a great time with the Mary Kay crew! Funny, isn't it, when we think about people from here. I do it when I see a screen name out in the real world (there's a pub near me with a member's name - how ironic!) or something that someone has mentioned.

Sunbeam - sounds delicious - I wish I had someone to cook for me!
I don't "get" the modding thing, because I always wanted 2-3 bottles rather than glasses, and I was a daily drinker. But (addiction/dependency aside), I suppose we get into the habit of all sorts of things and then look forward to them or miss them if we don't do it. But the more we don't do something, the less hold it has over us.
As you say, time will tell.

[Marshy]

sun 10 jan

greeneyes;788596 wrote:

DG why did you think of marshy and chinese women at the Mary Kay thing?

Sounds like a joke doesn't it? DG, Marshy and 900 Chinese women walk into a bar. Oh no, wait, we wouldn't be walking into a bar... :H