Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

[Doggygirl]

Hi everyone and welcome to the new week! I got up early this morning and went to the 5AM meeting in the neighboring town. Sister couldn't go as she had an athsma attack yesterday (yikes!) but since I was up early I went anyway. I'm glad I did. Our discussion centered around todays Daily Reflections reading:

Daily Reflections


THE 100% STEP

Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were
powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 68

Long before I was able to obtain sobriety in A.A., I knew without a
doubt that alcohol was killing me, yet even with this knowledge, I was
unable to stop drinking. So, when faced with Step One, I found it
easy to admit that I lacked the power to not drink. But was my life
unmanageable? Never! Five months after coming into A.A., I was
drinking again and wondered why.

Later on, back in A.A. and smarting from my wounds, I learned that
Step One is the only Step that can be taken 100%. And that the only
way to take it 100% is to take 100% of the Step. That was many
twenty-four hours ago and I haven't had to take Step One again.

(numerous daily readings can be found here: Daily Recovery Readings)

Accepting my alcoholism (addiction / dependency / problem - whatever you like to call it) as well as what it was truly doing to my life, and would KEEP doing to my life and worse if I kept going, was a problem for me. I didn't KNOW it was a problem until after I relapsed. Whether one participates in AA philosophy or not (I did not at first) I sincerely believe that 100% acceptance of our alcohol problem, the need for complete abstinence, and and full understanding of what AL does to our lives is key to getting sober. As long as I held out even the smallest hope / belief that "I wasn't that bad" or that I could somehow drink safely again, I couldn't stay sober. I hope I never make the mistake of giving a small piece of my belief system back to AL again.

Several examples were given of the "insanity" that I could relate to. A good one was being the only person sneaking drinks in inappropriate situations. I did that often. And somehow I did not see that as "insanity" or "unmanageable." This AL problem really does make me think in crazy ways. I'm grateful to be sober and I hope I remain teachable, and willing to go to any length to keep it that way.

Strength and hope for today!

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Thanks for the start DG. Yeah, I read that today. I had a difficult time accepting my life had become unmanageable. I viewed that as "DUI, lost jobs, marriage difficulties,etc.". Now when I look back I see that I accomplish more each day than when drinking. I guess there are "levels" of unmanageable lives.

At my 630am meeting we talked about "one day at a time". It was good to visit that thought stream again.

[Chief]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

I totally agree, DG....

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

DG et. al.: I didn't see my life as unmanageable either, because I was functioning well in my job (at great cost), held onto my marriage, & didn't totally alienate my kids. However, as I would be driving to & from the liquor store in a snowstorm, sneaking drinks, hiding bottles, etc., the thought would occur to me: "This is crazy!" I had a lot of trouble w/the admitting part of the 1st step. I could admit it to myself & to all of you at MWO, but I could not admit it to my loved ones or at an AA meeting. That was just what I needed to do in order to stay sober. So, that disastorous ER visit was my undoing & my greatest gift. I HAD to admit my alcoholism, because no normal drinker I know of overdoses him/herself on booze.

I want to say that after tomorrow I'll be out of town. My father died over the weekend. He was very old (97), very infirm, & had advanced dementia. So, I really lost my dad quite a while ago. He's in a much better place now. We have to get my mother straightened out & arrange a memorial service. I'll be doing all that completely sober ODAT.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Mary I am very sorry for your loss. May your father rest in peace after what sounds like a full life. Sympathies to you and your Mom. I especially hope your Mom is doing OK.

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Mary, sorry for the loss of your father. Love to you, your mother and family. Take care.

[Chief]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

I'm sorry for your loss, Mary.

And you know what?.....I'm so happy and proud of you because we all know you are going to do this sober.

Love to you and yours...

Don

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Mary,

So sorry for your loss.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their imput last week to all of us who have decided to attend AA. I have ordered the book that Phil suggested.

I feel hopeful and am beginning to realize that making ourselves go without alcohol for a certain number of days at a time, is not solving the real problem.

Thanks again!!
Horsegirl

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Horsegirl, I hope you enjoy the book! The author has a sense of humor while discussing such a serious topic. (I have found this to be true sometimes in AA meetings which is refreshing in a strange sort of way!)

I would be interested in more of what YOU mean when you say that days without alcohol doesn't solve the real problem. It didn't solve MY problem with alcohol, that's for sure. After 60 days AF when I stopped the first time, none of my issues such as these were solved at all:

1. Inability to have just one or two - or drink like a "normie"
2. Obsession with drinking - thinking about it most of the time especially when NOT drinking
3. Skill at solving problems appropriately rather than trying to drink them away or wish them away.
4. Understanding what it takes for me to be truly happy and content.
5. Self centered thinking which fueled drinking AND made me miserable.
Etc. That could be a long list!

AA is truly teaching me the life skills I need to lead a much more contented and peaceful life. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but what have you got to lose by checking it out?

Anyway...I'm interested in more of your thoughts about "solving the problem."

Strength and hope!

DG

[momof3]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Step 1

Hello All,

Thanks for this DG.

I am not an actively participating AAer but I do appreciate the teachings. The further I am along in my sobriety, the more profoundly I understand first step. As life without alcohol gets better and I am further away from the date of my last drink, it would be "easy" to slip back into the old habits of thinking that I could "just have one" if it weren't for my strong belief and understanding that I truly am powerless over alcohol.

As far as the problem solving piece goes....I am going through two very painful personal issues right now. One has to do with my brother who is mentally ill and who abuses prescription meds; the other is with my oldest daughter who is really struggling right now at school and being bullied unmercifully. My old way of handling things, of course, would have been to "drink the pain away." The pain I am feeling right now is exhausting and all consuming but I am proud that I am taking things one step at a time, that I'm thinking things through and being fully present, and not acting in an angry or impulsive way.

Mary, I am sorry for the loss of your father.

Chief, you're the bomb. Glad to have you back.

M3

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Mary, I am so sorry for the loss of your father. My prayers go out to you and yours. You are so fortunate to be sober through this. Give your Mom a big hug.

R2C

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

:thanks: DG

All of the above things you listed are exactly what is still there with me even when I am able to be AF for any period of time.

Guess what I am trying to say is that I feel like a "broken" person who uses alcohol as a sort of medicine or a way to escape making changes that I know I need to make.

I am finding out that attempting to quit on my own is only making me a sober miserable being and I know I could never achieve long term success that way.

Thanks again for your wonderful words of wisdom. You all help alot of people with your honesty and insight ; alot more than you are most likely aware.

Thanks
HG

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Yesterday, I recieved a call out of the blue from my niece in Arizona. We usually only see each other once a year at xmas, but because my Dad was ill this year, we did not have our usual xmas party.

I did speak to her a few weeks ago about a family drama involving her mother, my sister. But yesterday she called me and we chatted for a bit about various things, and she said "you sound like you are in a 12 step program, are you"? It blew me away, but I found out she is also involved in AA and OA (overeaters anonymous). She has concquered much in the last few month, she was drinking, using Xanax, overeating and chain smoking. She has since lost 401lbs and goes to regular meetings. I guess 12 step applies to many addictions, just insert the one that applies and you can study the Big Book.

We had such a profound and intersting conversation after discovering that we are on similiar journeys. She pointed out a story in the Big Book (can't remember the exact name), but it is towards the end and it has to do with acceptance. I LOVED that story, I read it last night and this a.m. I hilighted different sentences that I related to. It truly amazed me, and now I feel so much closer to my niece.

Isn't it interesting how our live cross paths sometimes in this big ole universe of ours?

R2C

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Thank you all for your kindness. I've been to 3 AA meetings in as many days & feel strong & ready to help my mother in whatever way she wants. I'll be sober & present ODAT. We're leaving very early AM Wed.

Mom3: My daughter is a 6th grade teacher (followed Mom's footsteps), & there is an anti-bullying policy at her school. The teacher & administration should know about any bullying that might be going on. I know your daughter might be against your intervention. Only you know how necessary it is to get involved. She should not have to put up w/that.

Mary


PS: I was a teacher for many, many years, & bullying was the one behavior I could not tolerate.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Hi, everyone -

OK, I did it - I went to my first meeting tonight. I made it through, I met some wonderful people, I heard some sad stories and even laughed a little. Everyone was welcoming and the most memorable thing was the joy and light in the eyes of some of the long term people. I met one woman who has 7 years, another 21, and one man sober since 1972 (before even I started drinking!). Several others are well into years of sobriety. A wide variety of ages. And everyone looked "normal". Most you would not look at and think "alcoholic".

Thank you all again for your encouragement. It may seem silly, but the idea of walking into a room full of people sober (well that's the point) to talk about alcoholism was a little intimidating to say the least. I am so glad I did. It is a different experience to meet people face to face and talk about these issues - I used to be afraid to even post here when I first came.

As I was driving closer and closer to the meeting place, I put myself at ease by imagining that the people I talk to here were there in person - if these new folks are anything at all like you guys, I had no reason whatsoever to not want to be there. So, you all got me through it unknowingly.

This same group meets again Thursday, and I already have a few friends (and three phone numbers in my Big Book). And I won't be so scared this time. So thanks again!