Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

HG, I can sure relate to what you are saying about feeling that there are issues that don't just go away with the AL. For me, working with a kind and loving sponsor and working through the steps has helped me identify and understand some of those issues, and to not only forgive others but to forgive myself. It has helped me feel "whole" to do that, and learn to live in today without constantly toting yesteryears baggage around with me all the time. I have no idea who else might find this same sort of thing in AA but again, there is no harm in checking it out. LOL - I spent years thinking I would rather die than go to an AA meeting. I think that's because my inner alkie KNEW that I would have to accept abstinence as a lifestyle once I fully accepted my alcoholic status. Anyway...it has all worked out in the end for me so far, and I hope it does for you too.

R2C, that is an AWESOME story about your niece and how you connected! :l

Mary, travel safely. I think it is wonderful that you have gotten AL off your back so that you CAN be fully present for your Mom. Sobriety brings us so many gifts. I will be thinking of you while you are away. I treasure our friendship here.

Dancelot, your post made me smile. The "face to face" aspect of AA really fills in a huge gap for me and has helped me rejoin the land of the living. I had become so very isolated with my drinking. Interactions with people were largely negative because they interfered with my drinking. That subconscious mind set took some time and effort to change! AA was a stepping stone in the right direction for me. I cherish having friends here and at AA with whom I can be totally honest about who I am and where I came from. All the best to you in your journey! I hope you will post your thoughts here - good or bad - as you go along.

Well, I'm off and running for the day. Strength and hope to all who need it!

DG

[momof3]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Mary,

You are so very kind to offer your sympathies and concern to me given what is going on for you.

Thanks for your suggestions about the bullying. My daughter is almost 13 and she has Asperger's Syndrome. The type of bullying that is going on is that she is being called a freak, stupid and ugly, etc. by other girls in her class. It has been heartbreaking because my daughter is such a very sweet and sensitive girl who would never think to say things such as this. She is just beginning to realize that she is "different" from others her age but she can't understand why others are so mean. The school has been very responsive, but how do you get other kids to be kind and to like her? I am grateful that I have a clear mind. My very dear friend says, "be strong and of good courage" and that is what I am doing.

I'm happy to hear that you are there and fully present for your mom. What a gift! I lost my mom over 20 years ago and my dad more than 10 years ago. They both died way before their time and I still miss them. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

M3

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Hello,

Mary, my thoughts are with you as you fly to your folks' home and put your daddy to rest. I know you have had to help them a lot during this last year and it has not been easy. I pray your mama finds herself in a good situation and with kind and loving people around her. I am sure she is going to miss her lifelong companion.

Momof3, Life can be so hard on our children and we feel their pain magnified. Just keep doing the next right thing and this will unfold as it should. Sending prayers to God to help you and your girl get through this and come out better off for it. :l

I went to a meeting last night and was so grateful I did. Traveling can be rough, especially when you walk through the lobby and see the strategically placed bar filled with fellow travelers sitting down and drinking, chatting and relaxing for the night. When I ate dinner, I sat at the bar with them and enjoyed their company. If I had "joined in," I would have had a few really fun minutes, truly, but then, I would have awakened in the morning without a clue how I had gotten to my bed and wondering what I had said and done the night before. Not one single person there drank more than two drinks. I was in the midst of a bunch of normies. I realize, I am simply not one of them.

HG, Dancelot, R2C and Chief, hello and glad you are here!!

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Good morning all! I was just taking a look at todays readings and I really like both the Daily Reflections and the first part in particular of the 24-Hours a Day:

Daily Reflections


ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES

Our very first problem is to accept our present
circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the
people about us as they are. This is to adopt a
realistic humility without which no genuine advance can
even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to
that unflattering point of departure. This is an
exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice
every day of our lives. Provided we strenuously avoid
turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life
into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they
can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional
health and therefore spiritual progress can be built.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 44

When I am having a difficult time accepting people,
places or events, I turn to this passage and it relieves
me of many an underlying fear regarding others, or
situations life presents me. The thought allows me to be
human and not perfect, and to regain my peace of mind.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The longer we're in A.A., the more natural this way of
life seems. Our old drinking lives were a very unnatural
way of living. Our present sober lives are the most
natural way we could possibly live. During the early
years of our drinking, our lives weren't so different from
the lives of a lot of other people. But as we gradually
became problem drinkers, our lives became more and more
unnatural. Do I realize now that the things I did were far
from natural?

I bolded "emotional health" because it struck me how I feel I AM gaining some emotional health by working the steps and trying to apply the principles in my daily life. It is much easier for me to stay sober when I can accept the world around me (and myself!) with all the good and bad, and find a way to be at peace with things. That doesn't mean I'm a doormat. I need to muster up the courage to change the things I can. But I spent a LOT of emotional and physical energy over the years being frustrated and upset with things and people that I CANNOT change. And of course drinking was my main way of handling that frustration and upset.

Much better to be gaining some "wisdom to know the difference" in terms of what I can change and what I just need to accept and move on.

On the second reading, I can really relate to how my life at the end of my drinking years was FAR FAR from natural. The vast majority of my waking time was spent drinking, planning to drink, recovering from drinking, or being angry when I couldn't drink. And the isolation in my house - definitely not natural.

I'm glad to be learning skills that improve my emotional well being and allow me to re-join the main stream of life.

Have a good day everyone!

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Hi, everyone -

First, DG, thanks for the link to to the Daily Reflections (this was in one of your posts from awhile back). I bookmarked that and find that might be an even better way to start the day than MWO (but I'll come here next). These were another thing that got me looking more at this (AA).

Last night I read out of my Big Book before bed - I thought I should try to read at least 10 pages per night (I'm a slow reader), but actually ended up reading 2 chapters. I also went ahead and went a different noon meeting today (I'm getting so brave). I've slept better the last two nights than I have in a long time. I too have become more and more isolated in recent years, plus I work at home, and currently have no work. Getting back with people, especially ones that understand my "dark side" is very liberating.

Today they were discussing the spiritual part, and individual concepts of God. Interestingly, there were several agnostics and even an atheist - but all had figured out something as a higher power, even if they didn't call it God. This was one of my misconceptions about AA - I was afraid it would be like my cousin who's message of "her way or the highway, believe in her brand of God or be doomed for all eternity".

Someone had a great quote - "Religion is for people who fear Hell, spirituality is for people who've already been there".

Anyway, it's definitely a plus to have something so life improving, that also keeps me sober. I knew there was work to do on my life - I didn't realize how big a part of that was covered in AA.

Have a great day everyone!

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Hello,

I could not get to a meeting yesterday, I worked until past 10:00 last night.

The good news is I was sober, despite the fact that I was offered wine while we were working in the hotel lobby. I stuck with decaf coffee and water. Yay!!

But I missed going to a meeting. I really need those meetings.

I saw a quote on a thread, either here or somewhere else, that I think is beautiful. I googled on it and found this:

"Religion is for those who believe in hell,
spirituality is for those who have been there." - David Bowie

AA's 12 Steps, started by the Oxford Group to help alcoholics and then refined by the founders of AA, dwells very much in spirituality. Addiction is a disease that bankrupts us spirtitually. We turn to lying, hiding, sneaking and doing things that we would never do without the disease.

Waking up every morning and addressing our spirituality first thing reminds us that we do want to be good people. It helps to put that idea in the forefront of our minds and hearts as we start the day. The Serenity Prayer and our own prayers and meditation during the day help us keep the "good" us out front and reminds us that our first drink will harm the "good" us.

So, while others pooh pooh the idea of AA's focus on our Higher Power, I realize it is a very simple program. Do the next right thing, no matter what, and you will prevail. In the end you will shed the guilt and shame and remorse. In the end, you will live a life to be proud of. One where we dwell on the good and the right, reach out to help others, and transform our lives.

That's my take on it, anyway.

I am glad I have my friends here to talk about these things and walk with me in this journey.

I have such a long way to go compared to others here but being amongst those who know and understand helps so much.

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

ps. Prayers and thoughts going out to Mary and Momof3. I pray God helps you through these tough times and gives you peace and serenity in your days.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Cindi, what you wrote about spirituality and why it's important to us alkies is one of the best summaries of that issue I've ever read. It really touched me. That is how I feel too but have never been able to express it properly. I hope you don't mind that I have copied your words to a document and printed it out. That will be going with me in my AA book bag as I wander around this life!

Congratulations on making the right choice sitting in the hotel lobby. I used to drink heavily when I traveled, and can visualize how challenging that decision must be each time it comes up. I'm happy for you Cindi! Each day of sobriety is a good day.

I need to dash now and call Sister and then run to an AA meeting, then gym, then the Council for Working Women lunch. zoom zoom.

Strength and hope to all!

DG

[momof3]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

[QUOTE=Cinders;790292]Hello,

Addiction is a disease that bankrupts us spirtitually. We turn to lying, hiding, sneaking and doing things that we would never do without the disease.

Waking up every morning and addressing our spirituality first thing reminds us that we do want to be good people. It helps to put that idea in the forefront of our minds and hearts as we start the day. The Serenity Prayer and our own prayers and meditation during the day help us keep the "good" us out front and reminds us that our first drink will harm the "good" us.

So, while others pooh pooh the idea of AA's focus on our Higher Power, I realize it is a very simple program. Do the next right thing, no matter what, and you will prevail. In the end you will shed the guilt and shame and remorse. In the end, you will live a life to be proud of. One where we dwell on the good and the right, reach out to help others, and transform our lives.

[momof3]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Thank You Cindi

Cindi,

Thank you so much for your prayers and your kind words...it meant alot to me.

Regarding your other post...Drinking truly did rob me of my spirituality and filled me with shame, guilt, and remorse. I never realized how full of shame and guilt I was, how it dominated my actions, and kept me from being authentic and honest to myself and others. It also made me a very self absorbed and selfish person.

On the spiritual side of things...each day, I take time to think about what I am grateful for in my life (my gratitude list). And, I go forth each day with the intention of doing something good for someone else or at least saying a kind word or gesture. My little contribution to humanity and my way of expressing gratitude.

Great victory at the bar! I'm happy to hear that you are staying AF.

Be Well,
M3

[Time4Change1]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

i plan to go to aa sometime, like twice a week. im on day 5. its great and its tough at the same time. i definitely need the support to keep it up. i do like aa's spiritual need in this time too.doggy girl and for those of you who attend aa, do you attend each night with sponsors?

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Hi Time. I applaud you for exploring every possible support system available to get and stay sober. I don't think you will regret that. AA is not for everyone, but IMO, it's sure worth checking out in case it helps you.

I do have a sponsor. I am not attached at the hip to my sponsor for going to meetings. I personally enjoy the meetings and have made a number of friends, so I go to a meeting almost every day. There is one meeting a week I attend where it's planned that I meet my sponsor there. Otherwise I pick and choose which meetings I attend all by myself.

Different groups tend to have different "personalities." I always suggest trying out a variety of meetings to find the ones that are the best fit for your personality / schedule / goals, etc.

Strength and hope to you! I'm sure others will be along with more opinions / personal experiences on this topic. We all have to find whatever works for us as individuals.

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Hi, everyone -

I've been 3 times this week, and I even "shared" today. Considering how timid I am around people, it really shows me how comfortable I am getting already. I like that there is no pressure on anybody to speak if they don't want to.

I don't know if I would have gotten as far as I have without MWO (I've never before tried getting sober with any type of support). What I see in AA is adding another layer to that - spiritual as well as more tools for living. Really understanding changing the thought patterns, even more than I was aware of on a conscious level. Learning to live differently. When I go there in person, and meet and hear from people who live successfully and happily sober, it is an amazing experience.

I am so glad to have found the courage to try it. I've been to two different groups so far. I had so many misconceptions about the program. Or maybe it was my fear of admitting I was an alcoholic. I've only become comfortable using that term recently, even on MWO. Maybe that's when it lost it's power. It's a word. It describes me. But I can face it now. I can say it in public.

Anyway, thank you guys for having this thread - I found a whole new treasure trove here, and as someone said previously, you have probably helped people unknowingly.

Have a great day and a wonderful weekend everyone!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

dancelot;791078 wrote: I am so glad to have found the courage to try it. I've been to two different groups so far. I had so many misconceptions about the program. Or maybe it was my fear of admitting I was an alcoholic. I've only become comfortable using that term recently, even on MWO. Maybe that's when it lost it's power. It's a word. It describes me. But I can face it now. I can say it in public.

I'm happy for you that you are finding ways to grow as a person in your sobriety.


That part of your quote I bolded - I can really relate to that. I fought HARD the notion that I was "alcoholic" for so long. It seemed like a "dirty word." But it was that way for me too. Finally admitting it somehow took the power out of it. That's a great way of putting that. And you are so right - it's only a word.

I'm glad that somehow I was brave enough to face it and move past it. I'm glad for you too!

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 1/11/10 - 1/17/10

Dancelot, great work. Yeah, for me, just saying the word takes its power down a few decibels.
Also I find that everytime I begin writing on a resentment or any issue, its power decreases to almost zero.
Keep up the good work everyone. I'm on the road all week but will be sober and catching meetings when and where I can.