AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

[Leelou]

Mad in the head yes...

not sure why,

everything going so so well god damn it!

One step forward...............1000 behind!!

I messed up tonight, why>? not sure.... DH not here for a few hours..... excited that a collection of photos are going to New York on Monday and I have to burn the disk tonight ready for the trip....

Freely working on my photos...

Unopened bottle of wine in fridge from dinner we put on last weekend...

I'm a frick'n idiot!


DH senses I had AL... I didn't have much, but I'm all excited and all, and I lied to him when he asked me....

Why did I do that???

I feel like shit!

[Lavande]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Good morning Leelou & everyone!

I don't know what makes us do the dumb shit we do Leelou! I just know that we can't give up on ourselves & have to keep trying. You are not an idiot by any means!
You fessed up right away with us - that's good! Perhaps deep down inside a little voice told you that you deserved a little reward. I hate that voice, screws us up everytime! Just learn from your mistake so it doesn't happen again

After reading about Cowgal yesterday I am more determined than ever to remain AF! AL is poison, no doubt about it. AL is especially dangerous when mixed with Rx meds! I'm praying for her & hoping that each & everyone of us learns something very important......life is a precious gift - take care of it!

Wishing everyone a safe & AF Thursday.
Lav

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Hey all,

Lav - I couldn't agree more about the dangers of alcohol and meds, and indeed alchohol just by itself. It truly is a matter of life and death.

Leelou - I for one can't have unopened bottles of wine sitting in the fridge. Do you think you can? Sounds as though your husband is being supportive and wouldn't mind if you threw away any leftovers to remove the temptation.

Have a sober day everyone.

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Morning abbers!

I completely understand leelou. Understand from the point of the behavior part. Not the why part.

I am so sad about MA. I truly believe it was an accident. I have been heavily under the influence and made mistakes with pills. It can easliy happen.

If anything were to happen to me, car accident, sudden illness, injury, I would want you all to know how very much your mean to me. :l:l

Be well and grateful for a sober day.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Hello everyone. I've not been able to get here to post for a few days so was just catching up and read about Cowgal. I am hoping for that miracle as I know everyone here is doing. Alcohol is so deadly. And so cunning that we can easily forget how deadly is our foe.

I hope MA lives.

I hope that anyone who has not yet figured out exactly how deadly alcohol is can take heed and realize the serious nature of our battle.

This is so sad.....

DG

[KateH1]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Morning All,

Leelou, sorry to hear you let yourself down. I agree about having bottles in the house. To this day, I never have alcohol in the house. When I was given wine as Xmas gifts, I gave it away and never brought it home!

I too am thinking of cowgal....I also think that there is a strong possibility that this was an accident....I am with Greenie.....AL is a powerful adversary, it causes us to loose any good judgement. It is a killer!

I am still hoping that we will receive some good news about MA today.

BE well and have a good day, ALL!

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Indeed a sad day as we await news of MaryAnne's fate. I am praying for her as I never have prayed before.

I am taking this as a lesson about the devastation that alcohol brings to our lives. It could be any one of us in that hospital bed clinging to life. I choose to believe it was an accident. MaryAnne had many friends here as well as in the "real" world. She is loved and she is such a giving soul. I take this as a reminder to myself that once al gets in my system, I'm never sure what I'm capable of doing. It could happen to me just as easily that I might forget what quantities I have taken of what. I must remember this at all costs. For me, Life is just too precious to waste in the bottom of an empy wine glass.

Lets all pray for good news to come our way today regarding MaryAnne...life was just beginning for her.

R2C

[Raven.joy]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

What has gone on for Ma could have been any of us at some point I am sure. As for drink being a little reward I think we all need to remember that our AF life is our reward and given where we know alcohol takes us the choice to go there is often self punishment- we deserve better.
Many alcoholics including myself will be honest in all other realms of life but lie, even to loved ones, about our alcohol use-most of them probably deserve better too.
So lets all just keep on doing the best we can. Much love ab fab af'ers

[Miss Behaving]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Morning in ab-land,

I'm blown away by what has happened with Mary Anne like everyone else. Spent all last night keeping up to date and logging in was the first thing I did this morning. I suspect that what happens resonates with us all at a deeply personal level. And I think (without really "knowing" her at all mind!!) that it was an accident too - apart form all those meds, she had been sick last week, and working the sort of shifts that she works does weird things to the body. And under so much stress. Sometimes it doesn't take much to knock you out.

Lee-Lou ....... just get back on the bus. I was up to day 12 on this attempt when my brother arrived to stay at my house for a couple of days with a bottle of brandy. And then I had a couple of glasses of wine every evening for the next week, so I'm back on Day Three. But I'm back. And I'm being quite religious about the supps (I've been quite cynical about them in the past) and keeping out of the way of stress as much as possible.

I dont like having alcohol in the house either. Except that we have three - all of them presents to Mr B. I have no problem being tempted with "his" stuff and I dont want to allow my head to get to a space where I talk myself into not being able to help myself if there is wine around. Because there will be when people visit, come over for dinner etc etc. I need to be able to choose not to have wine in the house, and not to drink it when it is.

Friday here and I have a quiet weekend planned. Mostly getting house cleaned, planning my menu for next week (trying to get a bit ore organised on this so that I dont spend so much time stressing about it during the week!), gym and a bit of additional work. HAve a good one all.

[Leelou]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

It's Friday here, just woke up awhile ago, my thoughts are with MA and her family.

I still feel crappy too, I printed off my post after I wrote it and gave it to DH! I couldn't stand lying about having AL to him. Doing that made me feel good and bad! Today I feel good about it, clearly I need to stay alert and keep growing stronger against the pull of AL.... when I am not alert and aware.... sometimes it grabs hold of me and pulls me down!

I'm going to keep you all in my pocket today.

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Leelou - check out this link about "urge surfing"

Urge Surfing | Sober Recovery Articles

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Thursday, 21st January 2010

Evening all,

What shocking, and sobering, news. - I've been distracted with London in all its diversity tromping thru my living room as I'm trying to find a new flatmate. Weird process, and one which (at 29) I should no longer have to put up with if it weren't for the ridiculous expense of this city. - So I hadn't been on here for a bit, in fact not since Cowgal got confused about whose birthday it was on my birthday. And now she's in ICU while I'm interviewing total strangers. Whoever I end up living with will feel like more of a stranger to me than MA. Not that I know her well. But I agree, Missy, that her situation resonates with so many of us. All it takes is a few confused or desperate or disoriented moments. Just a few minutes, really. I think I'll go now and join the long line of people who are keeping faith and wishing her well.