Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

:welcome: Panda Eyes! Congratulations on 36 days AF! That is a huge accomplishment. Those early days can be so challenging. You are doing great!

I have found the My Way Out community to be very open minded about a wide variety of tools and programs that support sobriety. The fact that the site owner allows such open discussion and support is really special I think. I'm sure you have seen discussion too about alternative meds that are being used today, etc. This site provides support well beyond the specific My Way Out program which is great. The bottom line is that we support each other in finding what works for us as individuals.

I too have found AA to be invaluable in my recovery. I was able to stop drinking with the help of the My Way Out program (everything except Topomax). Something was still missing for me. I think it was the spiritual healing and the road map through the 12 Steps to develop life skills that I just didn't have before. That's what works for me anyway!

I look forward to hearing more about your AA experiences. I learn a lot from the sharing that we do in this weekly thread. Watch for the new thread each Monday! (or if you don't see it already started, go ahead and start it!)

Here's to sobriety!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Panda Eyes: Welcome & don't hesitate to share here. For me, the combo of MWO & AA has helped keep me sober for 10 months. It feels great! Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Hi, Panda Eyes, welcome !

MWO got me sober, kept me sober for 5 months, and I've just added AA since I could feel a little something lacking. Thanks to these people on this thread, I've learned I didn't have much of a clue about AA, and it looked to me like they had something intangible that I didn't. I'm real big on looking at what works, who's staying sober and what they are doing, and lately who is at peace with themselves as well, then doing what they did.

MWO is great in that there are a wide variety of methods and information discussed. I'm for whatever works, and if I need to change my methods, I'm open to it.

Horsegirl - Glad you got brave enough to try it! I was also asking myself why I was so afraid to do, or didn't do it sooner. I always look forward to meetings, and if I'm down at all, I always feel better after.

[Panda Eyes]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Thanks DG and retteacher.

I agree DG that this forum is very special and has great advice and tools. I have spent many hours lurking and it has helped me a great deal to stay sober over the past month.

If I only had this site and not AA I would probably have tried moderating, however I am sure I would have been left sorely dissappointed! :H

It does feel great being sober after over 20 years lost in the fog AL created.

My life is going to be clear blue sky and sunshine from now on in, with the odd raincloud that will soon pass!!

:h

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Well, Panda.. :H pretty much sums up my own efforts at moderating! (well, it would have been :H if it wasn't so :upset

I'm sort of glad that MWO discusses a "moderation" option because when I first got here, I "talked the talk" but in the back of my head, I was holding out hope of being able to somehow magically drink normally. Had this been a hard core abstinence site, I might not have stuck around and might not be sober today. (or might have progressed to much bigger problems with my drinking!)

Now I know better.

I went to help decorate for Valentine's Day at the Club this afternoon and I'm glad I did. A woman was there who has been in and out of AA for years but is back with a stronger desire to really quit drinking this time. She works as a bartender so weekends are busy and difficult for her. She called me yesterday just to talk and mentioned that she was thinking about going to help with the decorations - a good sober activity before heading to work. We had fun putting up cheesy valentines and streamers and we had a chance to talk. One of the guys put some old music circa beach boys on the stereo which was fun. It felt good for my sobriety to connect with her, and with the others who were helping.

Well, Mr. Doggy is home now so I think I'll get off the computer and enjoy the evening with him!

DG

[Panda Eyes]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Hi Dancelot,

Thanks for the welcome.

I started in AA just shortly before I found this site and it has been a great backup for me. Personally I don't think it would helped me get sober alone. I would no doubt have followed the moderators crowd and failed miserably again and again and again. I am sure it works for a great many people and that is fantastic.

Sadly I had to have a rock bottom experience before I got to AA but I am glad I did as I now know this is a progressive illness and I could have continued in my downward spiral.

I am scared and hopeful about the future.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Panda Eyes;798920 wrote:

I am scared and hopeful about the future.

I don't know if you have started working the steps with a sponsor. For me, when I really got going with that work, my fears began to subside and my hope just increases all the time. Life is good.

I really do believe in the progressive nature of alcoholism. I am convinced that my own alcoholism if left unchecked, would have progressed until I was dead from it. I am so grateful to have found MWO and AA and sobriety.

DG

[Panda Eyes]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

I am soooo slow at posting I will probably get crossover posts.So please forgive my delayed reactions.

DG so glad you had a nice time decorating and connecting with people.

I have to say the "in and outers" terrify the living daylights out of me, especially as they always say it just gets worse. Please HP don't let me go there.

I want to buy some glue and stick my ass to the seat in AA so I can't get out!

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

"and listening to the similarities." That is a great start. I wish I would have done that at first and saved myself some turmoil.
I am back home this week and enjoying my 630am meetings.

[Panda Eyes]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

I haven't started on the steps yet or have a sponsor. I am eager to get this going though. I lost my Mum just a couple of weeks ago so the only thing I can concentrate on at the moment is just not having a drink. Amazingly I have managed to do this even at this distressing time in my life. :upset:

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Panda, I too don't want to go through "in and outing". When I first came to MWO in July 2007, I managed 60 days AF. Then I thought I could drink just one. :H What REALLY scares me is how difficult it was and how long it took me to get back on the wagon. EIGHT MONTHS. It only took a few days after that "one drink" for my drinking to be right back to previous levels. (just like the Big Book says) I realized quickly what a big mistake that drink was. BUT...it was SO HARD to quit again. THAT is what really scares me about the thought of taking one drink. If it gets worse every time...well...I don't want to think about that.

I am fortunate to be in recovery with several people who were "in and outers" until they finally "got it." What they seem to all say is that until they truly give themselves 100% to the program, they were destined to drink again. I think this mainly translates to accepting Step 1 100%. Not reserving ANYTHING for the hope and possibility of ever drinking safely again.

From all that I have heard, I believe I must must must remind myself each and every day that I cannot EVER safely drink. Not today, not ever.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Hi Phil!! I bet you are glad to have a week at home. I still smile when I think of your description of "not drinking in secret" on the road. :H What a change from my traveling (and drinking) days where in the end, I just would pack a cheap box o' wine in my suitcase to avoid the expensive mini bar or room service charges. That was for my drinking before and after the work social crap. :nutso:

Panda, I am so sorry to read that you recently lost your Mom. :l You are right to just hang in there one day at a time staying sober. I imagine it must be a comfort to have the AA companions for support right now. The AAers I know are a fairly "huggy" bunch and that is really nice sometimes when hugs feel so good. So I hope you are getting lots of those right now.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Hello all! Went to the 7AM 12 Steps and 12 Traditions meeting this morning. Several people were there who were not new to AA but were new to me. That was nice meeting some new folks! We talked about Step 9. The promises are part of the reading on Step 9 in the Big Book. Even though they are read at so many meetings, I seem to "hear" them more fully when they are read as part of the Step 9 study. I am grateful that the promises are coming true in my life.

If anyone is reading this thread and doesn't know what the promises are, here is a link! We have much to look forward to in sober life! The 12 Promises

I decided to go to a "12 Steps Ungarbled" workshop today. There is a group that puts on this workshop once every few months. I've been wanting to go, and today is the day! A few other people from the Club where I attend meetings are going to ride along. I am grateful that I WANT to do this today rather than drink unfettered and alone as I used to do every Sunday. (Mary, I know you can relate to that! and I'm sure others here too!)

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Panda: I had a "bottoming out" experience which got me into AA. I've since heard other members share about the "gift of desperation." When I joined AA, it took me about 1.5 months to truly commit to it, but I attended meetings almost daily anyway. I just followed the AA rule of "fake it 'til you make it." Finally, on March 23, '09, I said: "This is it! I'm getting staying & getting active." I don't intend to be an "in & outer." I've heard people share at meetings about spending years going in & out of AA. I want this to be my only time in AA, & I want it to be active recovery time. I have to walk that walk & make that committment daily (ODAT: one day at a time).

Hi Phil: It's always good to see you here.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of Jan. 25 - Jan. 31

Hello all. I'm really glad I went to the 12 Steps Ungarbled workshop today. There were probably over 100 people attending. There were two men who led the workshop. One is an alcohlic sober for over 10 years. The other is an alcoholic and cocaine / heroin addict clean and sober since 2001. The second one does a LOT of work in rehab centers with people who are truly at the "end of the line" in terms of the need to get sober or die. Good people to learn from in terms of taking the Step work very seriously.

They are both very knowledgeable about the Steps exactly as instructed in the Big Book. They talked about the early days of AA when the Steps would be taken in a matter of days. Not longer time frames such as one step per month as is fairly common today. They advocate helping a sponsee work through the Steps as rapidly as sponsee wants. The premise of this approach is based on:

1. The fact that the step work is never done - we work the steps for life and grow in them over time. (so working on the steps aggressively at first doesn't change what is supposed to happen over the long haul)

2. The most important key to long term sobriety is the lifting of the mental obsession to drink, and that happens fully with Step 10. So spending a very long time dwelling in Steps 1/2/3 (very common), or delaying the step work and just going to meetings simply increases the liklihood of relapse as the mental obsession rages on.

I can relate to both of these key points. The reason I went to AA in the first place after over 8 months of sobriety was that I still had the mental obsession and it was driving me nuts! I was so afraid of relapse, and rightly so. There is no comparison between how I felt as a sober person a year ago, and how I feel today with that obsession thankfully lifted.

We also talked about the great "fear" that is often perpetuated about Step 4. The observation was made that most of the perpetuation of that fear is done by people who have not yet done Step 4. I hadn't really thought about that, but I suspect it's true. I am very glad to have done Steps 4 & 5 (and all of the rest of them) as the relief that is promised after Step 5 really did come true for me.

This workshop gave me new motivation about my need to carry the message to other alcoholics. There are two women that have hinted to me about needing a sponsor. I realize I have not responded to their "hinting" in part because I'm afraid I don't have enough experience and yes - because I'm avoiding the possibility of a big committment. That is not right for me to do. Around here anyway, there are so many people who need and want sponsors there are not enough willing sponsors to go around. If asked, I need to find a way to step up. If I don't "have time" to sponsor someone new, where on earth will I find all the time that *I* require to drink??????? (going with the belief that I need to help others to stay sober myself!)

Good food for thought today. I felt like I was sitting in a big room just full of miracles. That was cool. It was also a fun road trip with a diverse little group from our club. We are now talking about another road trip soon to the Mustard Seed which is famous for it's meetings in Chicago. (Phil, make sure if you travel to Chicago you put that one on your agenda! Make sure to go to a closed meeting is what they tell me about the Mustard Seed!)

Until tomorrow!

DG