Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

[Doggygirl]

Good morning everyone. Can't believe it's February already! Spring will be here before we know it. (YAY!)

I really like today's Walk In Dry Places reading:

Walk In Dry Places

Garbage in, Garbage Out
Releasing the Past
One thing we don't need in our lives is garbage from the past. Yet many of us say that old thoughts and bitter memories often sneak devilishly back to spoil what should have been a pleasant day. Why do we let garbage from the past befoul our lives a second time?
Computer programmers use a certain expression when their systems turn up errors: "GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT." If you feed erroneous, useless information into a computer, that's what you get back.
We seem to have built-in computers that work the same way. If we waste time and energy talking about past injustices or old mistakes, we are unwittingly calling them back into our lives. We are bringing back garbage that should have been discarded permanently to make room for better things.
There is no benefit in bringing back old garbage. We can't change the past. We can't change our mistakes by brooding about them, and we can't obtain justice by remembering how badly we were treated or by plotting revenge. When we bring back garbage, we allow it to occupy space that should be devoted to constructive and positive things.
If we don't want garbage in our lives, let's not put it there by bringing up matters that should have been released, forgiven, and forgotten.
I will keep my mind on the present, knowing that a positive attitude will help me make the best of the opportunities that come to me.

(link to daily readings)

Resentments over perceived past "wrongs" done to me were especially problematic when I was drinking, and early in my sobriety. I would get SO worked up over things outside my control that it jsut made me miserable. And then I saw drinking as a solution to my misery. What a viscious circle.

I'm so glad that I learned about resentments and the negative role they were playing in my life. I'm glad I have a way to deal with resentments now to nip them in the bud. So much of the "drama" I experienced in my life was my own doing. I over reacted to things and always took action to keep the pot stirred up instead of just making changes that were within my power to make, and accepting the rest.

I am grateful to have a sober and busy and fulfilling life today!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

DG: Thank you so much for starting this weekly thread off. I read your post from last week's thread about the workshop you attended. I certainly agree that 12 stepping is life-long & that we have to conquer our fear of working the 4th step. I spent all kinds of time & energy on drinking & didn't think twice about it. Additionally, I wasn't afraid to put my life & the life of others in danger by driving under the influence. Why would I shrink from some of the things I should be doing to keep my recovering working properly? There was alot of food for thought in your entry for last week.

Actually, your thinking coincides w/the ideas we discussed at last night's business meeting. We talked about actively seeking committments (i.e. going to other groups in the area to speak) & becoming more welcoming & giving at our own meetings. We have a greeter now, & that simple addition has made a difference.

Also, at last night's meeting, one of the guys I have come to know had a serious relapse. He spoke out before the formal sharing began. He was so sad & miserable about it & looked sick in mind, body, & spirit. During the meeting, a small book was sent around so that people could put their phone numbers in it for him. Afterwards, we spoke & he just broke down & cried in my arms. It was heart-breaking. I didn't try to talk him out of his feelings but did encourage him to continue in school (he just started at the local comm. college). I did say:
-Get a sponsor & work the steps.
-Go to meetings even when you don't feel like it.
-Call people.

He knows all that. I know that he probably started it all off by saying: "I'll just have one or two." But it turned into a big mess.

I had missed 2 of those Sun. meetings due to my father's death & last week's ice storm. When I walked in the greeter & his girlfriend both said: "Whew, we were worried when we didn't see you 2 weeks in a row." It's nice to know that people are looking out for me & care. I have to remember to do the same.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

I've been reading a lot about 12th step work. It doesn't always have to be sponsorship.
-Someone asked for rides to meetings, & I agreed to help her w/that.
-I try to bring something to eat to my Sat. meeting.
-I'm now secretary for 2 meetings & have officially joined 3 (that's it for now).
-Keeping this thread at MWO current & relevant.
-etc.

12th step work comes in many forms. I've been thinking about a 4th step work/study group. I've heard about them & how well they work.

Anyhow, just a few additional thoughts.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Thanks for starting us DG!

[Tipplerette]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Where should I post?

Question, I want to go through month of February (possibly March but one step at a time) AF. No booze. I have never done it for two days in a row let alone a whole month. What thread do I post to? I need support. Can someone send me a message or reply please. I drink half bottle of red homeade 'lite' wine daily. Shouldn't be THAT difficult but it is.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Hi, Tipplerette -

There's a daily AF thread in this same section. Feel free to post here - I started reading this particular thread, and now it's my favorite. It's certainly worth reading, whether you post or not, - I always get a lot of out of it, and learn something every day (and I've been around MWO awhile).
Good luck on your journey - much love! :h

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Yes, I agree w/Dance that the daily AF thread is a good one. You can post & ask questions here even though some of us go to AA. That's NOT a requirement for posting on this thread. If you're interested in abstinence, it's probably best to stick to the abs threads. Good luck, Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Hi Phil, Mary, Dance and special hello to Tipplerette! Tip, I agree with Mary's suggestion that AF oriented threads are a good idea as you work toward an AF February. There are several to choose from! The ones I frequent are this one, and AF Daily which is also in this section. You don't have to be involved in AA to post on this thread.

Mary, I'm so glad you were there at the meeting to comfort the young man you spoke of. I hope he does decide to stay in school. I'm sure you were a wonderful person to be "in his path" at that time!

I think the point the workshop speakers were trying to make about 12th step work and sponsoring is that so many people find reasons not to be sponsors (not enough time, not enough experience, etc.) and there are not enough people willing to sponsor newcomers for all the newcomers. I can't speak for any other area, but I know this is a big problem, especially for women, at the Club where I attend meetings. I hear women talk all the time about not being able to find sponsors. (yet I have never stepped up to say "I am willing..") Since I am in the midst of reviewing Step 12 with my own sponsor right now, I will be talking to her and getting input on this. I have one sponsee (same one I have had for a while). She is coming along OK getting past the surgery recovery and hopefully soon will be off all meds. Since prescription meds are an addiction issue for her, we will be reviewing Steps 1 - 3 when she is ready before moving on to Step 4. She didn't feel comfortable, nor did I or my sponsor trying to proceed with that while she is on medication, even though she has done a terrific job staying within the boundaries of the prescription amounts.

Anyway...that's a ramble! I'm looking forward to the meeting tomorrow morning. A woman I really like is chairing that meeting now. It is "open topic" so sometimes someone in the room raises a topic, and she of course comes prepared with one if nobody speaks up. She does a really good job with her leads and I can always relate. (we have a lot in common anyway!) Sponsee was out of town over the weekend but is back now. I'm hoping I get to see her tomorrow too!

I'm feeling a bit exhausted today. I think it's from the mental exercise yesterday. Calling it an earl evening is sounding like a good plan!

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Good morning all. I planned on going to the 7AM meeting this morning but it's sleeting out and supposedly there are slip n slide accidents all over the place. So I am spending some time here instead. I really like the 24-Hour reading today:

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

We got a kick out of the first few drinks, before we got stupefied by
alcohol. For a while, the world seemed to look brighter. But how
about the letdown, the terrible depression that comes the morning
after? In A.A., we get a real kick, not a false feeling of exhilaration,
but a real feeling of satisfaction with ourselves and self-respect. And
a feeling of friendliness toward the world. We got a sort of pleasure
from drinking. For a while we thought we were happy. But it's only an
illusion. The hangover the next day is the opposite of pleasure. In
A.A., am I getting real pleasure and serenity and peace?

Meditation For The Day

I will practice love, because lack of love will block the way. I will try
to see good in all people, those I like and also those who fret me and
go against the grain. They are all children of God. I will try to give
love, otherwise how can I dwell in God's spirit, whence nothing
unloving can come? I will try to get along with all people, because the
more love I give away, the more I will have.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may do all I can to love others, in spite of
their many faults. I pray that as I love, so will I be loved.

I can relate to the parts about the illusion of drinking. Alcohol could make me temporarily feel happy, smart, funny, successful, de-stressed, etc. etc. blah blah etc. But it wasn't real. The insanity is that I kept trying to use alcohol to make me feel these things long LONG after I knew it was all an illusion, and that the bad parts were real. (hangovers, acting nasty to Mr. Doggy and others, doing things I didn't remember, lying, hiding, etc.)

I am finally finding a place in sobriety where much of the time, I DO have a happiness and peace of mind that is real. I am grateful today to have a reminder of that in the reading, so I take time to appreciate what I have found in sobriety. I sure didn't have any peace of mind when I was drinking.

I also like the reminder about showing love and tolerance to everyone, as I would like it for myself. I tend to want to pick and choose. Maybe a good goal for today will be to watch for an opportunity to do something nice for someone who might not be my favorite person on the planet.

I hope you all have a great day!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

DG: I can remember drinking, drinking, drinking trying to prolong the "buzz." Then the room started spinning, my stomach heaved, & I was slurring my words. When I think of those times & read the words you quoted, I remember all over again why I'm a member of AA & cannot drink like a normal person.

I'm reading a memoir "Lit" by Mary Karr. It's the story of her drinking & recovery. She doesn't mention AA (because of the Traditions), but that's the program that saved her. I'm about half-way through, & she's just battling the whole "God" concept, as well as the prayer concept. I didn't realize how difficult it is for some people to accept.

She had the "gift of desperation" which wass a real catalyst to do what she was told. It had taken her one year to accumulate 2 months of continuous sobriety.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Hi, everyone -

As usual, I learn something at every meeting I attend, either about others, but mostly about myself. Sometimes, it is uncomfortable, but my fear level has dropped so much. It seems that every day, a new layer of myself is revealed, and a knew piece of knowledge is added. Often it comes from an unexpected place. Being able to face my fears, and honestly express them, and feel safe about it is a totally new experience to me. I have never had that in my entire life.

Last night I was floored again by the love and acceptance I saw in the women's meeting. For the first time, I saw a young woman at a meeting who was obviously in a very desperate state. This set off in me a fear reaction - this is someone I would avoid on the street. I am ashamed to say that. At the end of the meeting, to see a very proper upper middle class lady take this girl in her arms.... well, all I can say is, I am absolutely in awe of these women. I was also able to relate this story today, included the ashamed of myself part, which is huge for me. I felt like passing, then leaving the part about my negative feelings out, but when they got to me was able to truthfully tell it all.

Today, the discussion was on service and helping other alcoholics and how it helps us. Today for the first time, I put my name on the call list for a woman new to the group. Initially I declined, telling the woman who gave me the list, "I'm really new at this", to which she whispered, "She has a few days, you have a few months, that's more than she has". After the meeting I thanked her for this, and amazingly, I'm not fearful should I be called. Again, talk about a change in mental perception!

Today I thought of a variation on ODAT as it relates to me - that one day at a time, I am changing, ever so gradually, sometimes in very tiny increments, in tiny steps, breaking away the old, letting it go without fear, and letting in something positive and becoming a new and improved me.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Dance: I loved what you wrote.
-Every single time we overcome a fear, we leap forward in our recovery.
-Every single time we connect w/someone we would never have connected with in the past, we leap forward in our recovery.
-Every single time we speak from the heart, we leap forward.

This is a program of steps & honesty w/ourselves & others. Rigorous honesty is not the way of the world. It certainly wasn't my way in my drinking days. This doesn't mean that I have to go around telling everyone everything. It just means that I have be open & above-board, especially w/the people closest to me.

Thank you for your post.

Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Thank you Mary, DG and Dance for all the good posts today. I enjoyed them all.

Mary, at a mtg the other night the discussion went to speaking about God quite a bit. Someone who has been in the rooms for a while got upset, since she said AA is a spiritual program and not a religious program. AA calls for a higher power, that doesn't have to be the same for everyone, so I guess that's the reason. I don't find a problem with references to God, but I guess others do.

All, I know for sure is this program is working, so I'll keep it up in order to remain sane and keep the vicious cycle that DG spoke about when it comes to drinking that I can identify with so closely it's scary.

Winefree

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

WF: I don't have a problem w/references to God/HP. I do know that some people do (which is their struggle). As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm reading a memoir "Lit" by Mary Karr. She had a huge problem w/the whole God/prayer aspect of the program. She devoted quite a bit of the book to overcoming that struggle.

At this point, for me, I have to put my emotions a little more into prayer & HP. It's all a little rote & routine. Now that the obsession has lifted a little, I'm sort of taking the spiritual foundation of the program for granted. I still think I have complete control over my destiny & don't always see the occurrances in my life as learning experiences that are supposed to be in my path.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/1 - 2/7

Dance, thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really spoke to me as I read it. It's a very good reminder to me to always be honest about my fears. I have to really watch my ego sometimes! (well, a LOT of the times!)

Mary, I like your summary of the things that help us move forward. You are a great summarizer! (is that a new word?? ) I too have to be careful about just mouthing the words to the prayers rather than really thinking about what I'm saying / asking / doing. A good example for me is the serenity prayer, which has been such a powerful tool to me. We say it at the beginning of most of the meetings I attend, but often I just mouth right on through while I might be thinking of something else. Like you, I cannot afford to take these sobriety tools for granted.

WF, at first I got pretty bothered about a lot of God references when that would happen in a meeting. I am no longer bothered by that, thank goodness! I take it at face value as it says in the Big Book - God of your understanding. I believe that line alone means that use of the word "God" is not always intended as a religious reference in AA. My Step Coach always says "when I first came to AA I worshiped alcohol as my god. You people told me "you better change your god dummy, or you're gonna die." When I was drinking, alcohol was certainly the highest priority in my life, and that absolutely needed to change. So I'm OK with some God reference. It sure beats the alternative! Great subject though - I know it's a challenging subject for me and for many at times.

A woman who has been in and out got her 30 day chip yesterday. I'm really happy for her because I do believe she wants sobriety badly. She has struggled mightily with the insanity just as we all have done. She is a bartender - a job I would HATE to have if I were trying to get sober. There was a very bad accident last Friday night in our town. 4 people died and alcohol was involved. She was rattled as she had served them that evening. Thankfully, it was MUCH earlier than the accident when she served them and they had been several other places after that. She said that the serenity prayer helped her get through her feelings of guilt and sadness when she went to the wake yesterday. She also turned down many various invitations to go drown the sadness in some AL one way or another. Her and I just recently talked about the serenity prayer, and how it's a great reminder to separate those things outside of our control from those things within our control. I'm glad for her that she used that tool instead of drinking over the situation.

How ironic that people would be so upset about traffic deaths with AL involved that they want to drown their sorrows in AL. I can understand it though. There was a time not so long ago when that is exactly what I would have done.

I'm grateful to be sober and have a better way to live today.

DG