Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

"I'm Not Different" from the Daily Reflections (quoted on DG's post) was the topic today. So funny it seems most everyone there felt they were different, and isolated came up as a description. I know it was true for me.

I wonder if this is mostly alcoholics that feel this way, or does the rest of the "normal" population as well?

There was a lot of discussion on how alcoholics gravitate to other alcoholics - even now when we're no longer drinking (as in AA I guess). It did remind me of an old friend I reconnected with recently (on the internet - though we are all planning a reunion in the spring). He was an old drinking buddy, has been sober for 25 years. The one thing we had in common was drinking, usually beer and lots of it. There was lots of other partying going on in this group of people, but me and him were the alcoholics. Alcohol was always my only and his main love.

What's weird is it's just like yesterday, like a conversation that picks right up where it left of. His now partner (who I also knew separately) and I don't have this same bond. I don't know if it's the alcohol thing, but I really wonder. Or are we just a certain type of people, or just seek out what's familiar?

On chat the other night the topic kept going back to our old drinking days and stuff from back then. Why we can remember every cheap brand of wine we drank in our younger days. The detail of it. That is what is really weird. Or is it just the fact that alcohol was so important to us, that it was a part of nearly every aspect of our lives?

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

What a week?
Hi kids, greetings from Augusta Kansas. Y'all know I travel but this has been quite a week. My 89 year old mother had a heart attack last Thursday. After 3 nights in the hospital she is in "skilled services" care here. I had to interrupt my business trip in Pensacola and fly to Kansas. I'm the youngest of three boys, but have power of attorney (that tells you something about my brothers). Unfortunately my "smart" brother died last December. I really miss him as I deal with my oldest brother (66). This brother is a practicing alcoholic, actually he is really good at it. He is a swell person until a couple of beers and then he can be the biggest ass on the planet.

I have been wanting to clean up his side of the street since I arrived. Fortunately I have the big book on my iPod Touch and read the first part of "Working with others" this morning. That helped me get grounded. I merely told my brother that this early in my sobriety I need to be really selfish about it. Told him not to consider me unfriendly, but I will not be joining him in trips to the smokey bar and may choose to not be around him when he is drinking. I think he understands.

In the meantime we are dealing with my Mother's issues. Ah....Life on Life's terms.
Thanks for listening y'all.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Phil: You're incredible for dealing w/the crisis w/your mother & brother so effectively. Isn't it amazing how different we are in sobriety. You'll get things straightened out...it just takes time. Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Phil - Sorry about your mother. I'm glad you are finding a way to keep grounded. Reading this stuff whenever needed does help, I'm finding too. Take care.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

I just got back from my Fri. BB meeting. It was great but sparsely attended. One of the guys mentioned that there have been a lot of relapses lately. The big influx we got at the beginning of the new year seems to be thinning. I've heard many times that when someone starts going to meetings more sporatically, that's when a relapse can occur. I b-sat the g-sons all day & REALLY wanted to lie on the couch & watch the news. I'm so glad I made the effort to go. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Hi all. Will respond tomorrow responding to all the great posts (so I'm not ignoring them!) but Phil, wanted to take a moment to applaud the way you are handling things with your brother. I'm very sad to hear about your Mom. This must be so difficult on a variety of levels. Good for you taking the no BS, straight forward but CALM approach with your brother.

:l

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Thanks to y'all I'm still sober. I really appreciate your kind words and support.
Will have to hang in Kansas until Thursday. Oh well...one day at a time.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Been reading all the posts and even tried to respond midweek. The sight kicked me out and I lost the post. Oh well.
Anyway just quickly, great reading and sharing. Yes, this thread seems like an on-line meeting at times. That is what I like so much about it.
Phil, sorry to hear about your Mom, but sounds like you are handling it all well, even with the challenges with your brother. Good for you.

Thanks everyone for being here.

Winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Hi all. Phil, I'm so glad to hear you are getting through this sober. One day at a time is the only way....good times and bad. I hope you will be able to check in and let us know how you are doing this week.

Good to see you WF. Losing posts to cyberspace is no fun.! Yes, this is like an on-line meeting. I wish I knew what you tried to post but lost. Until I can get over this cold, this thread is particularly important to me!

I really like the Walk in Dry Places reading today:

Walk In Dry Places

Unexpected Disappointments____Acceptance.
As life unfolds, we sometimes get unexpected disappointments that seem undeserved -- the car breaks down, a business deal goes sour, or a close friend betrays us. As alcoholics, most of us don't handle such things too well. "Why me, Lord?" we often respond.
Our best approach is simply to view life as a mixture of bitter and sweet, knowing that we've been given real mastery over conditions. We cannot always be sure that a disappointment really is as bad as it seems to be, and sometimes it can become a step toward our good. As one alcoholic phrased it, "some of the worst things that have happened turned out to be the best."
It's good to face the day with optimism, with confidence, and even with some excitement about the opportunities ahead. If we're maintaining sober thinking, everything that happens today will be transformed into gains for tomorrow -- all our tomorrows. We're on a spiritual journey that goes far beyond anything we're doing here and now.
I won't expect to be disappointed today, but I'll know that nothing can really upset or disturb me without my permission.

It really is true for me that many things in life that seems horrendous "in the moment" led me to something good. Often it's learning a valuable life lesson that serves me well over and over and over again in my life.

I'm also glad to be learning to take "distrubances" more in stride thanks to tools such as the serenity prayer which reminds me to consider what is / is not within my control. I spend a lot less time these days being all wound up inside (and out!) about things I can't control. I'm sure glad that I no longer drink over every little thing or big thing that falls outside of me expected results for the day! I don't give my permission as easily for things to disturb me. And if I do find myself getting disturbed, I am able to pretty quickly get my peace of mind back.

This is such an awesome improvement over how I used to live. I used to spend so much time every day being upset about something. I don't HAVE to live that way unless I give permission to all that disturbance to come on in.

Well, that's enough ramble for this morning I think! Hope you are all having a good weekend. Special :l to you Phil.

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

good morning all,i amase my self,i havent been hear this week ,been to 4 meetings ,scaring myself,mon,wed,fri and sat. yesterdays was quite interesting,a friend of mine showed up he s finally in detox,hes pretty well lost everything,wife kids ,it was nc to see him,the meeting was how far our drinking took us,remember are minds were so delusional,we couldnt grasp it anymore,as many of u said,it was fun at 1st,even tho som of us got sick,violently,but it was fun,lol,i remarke in my case,som find it rt away,som drink but a little time,and som like me were so damageed,it all of a sudden cliks,hello,dont take the 1st drink,easy,when you hav help,i beleive here and at the AA meetings i have to belive tht,or i will suely die,earlier then need be,thnx gang

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Gyco, I am so happy for you that *it* clicked for you! I can't wait to get over this cold and back to meetings. I miss the people. I hope your friend in detox finally gets the "click" too.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Hi All: DG, I loved the reading about the inevitable disappointments of life. That's the human condition. Last week, I had a minor disappointment (nothing compared w/some people's), & I was amazed at the difference in my ability to handle things sober. In the past, I would have gone sraight to the bottle, thus adding guilt & remorse on top of the natural order of life. No more! I'll take life on life's terms (as they say in AA).

Last night's "Burning Desire" meeting was wonderful. Lots of new faces (which is always gratifying). The topic was on the importance/meaning of meetings. Along w/the many great thoughts, I got that when relapses occur, 9 times out of 10, the people have stopped or seriously curtailed their meetings. As one guy put it (I paraphrase): I put PLENTY of time & energy into drinking; therefore, I can spare an hour a day for recovery.

Mary

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

Good Morning All!!!

Just my weekly check in to let you know I am doing real well with meetings. It's so amazing how much there is to learn from each person at each meeting. I am getting so much out of these. Probably the most amazing thing I have noticed is how every person handles all of life's stuggles so easily and responsibly. No whining, no excuses, just an easy going way of dealing with everything.

I still have alot of trouble being relaxed enough to share very effectively, but am trying to force myself to face that fear and overcome it. Communication has always been very, very difficult for me, but I feel that overcoming that will help me out alot.

I am still so grateful for this site and this thread for opening this option up to me. I think going into this with a positive attitude is making me so much more receptive to the program than I would have if I had just walked into a meeting off the street. Just having to talk in front of others would have been enough to chase me away, but I have learned enough here to know that if I can conquer that fear, that better things are waiting for me.

Have a super, sober day!!!!!!

HG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

HG: It's so wonderful to see you here. I too am still nervous about speaking at meetings, but I do try to say a little something at almost every one. I ask HP to remove my self-centered fear, & that helps a little. The more I do it, the easier it becomes. This thread means a lot to me too. It's where I process the stuff I hear at meetings & read what others have to say about theirs. Please keep coming & sharing. Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - 2/15 - 2/21

HG, ditto what Mary said. I still rarely talk after 9 months. I get the most out of listening and taking it all in. Still in the learning mode, haven't done all the steps obviously, so not sure how to interpret them like the AA's who have gone through the steps. I'll keep listening until I feel comfortable to talk or have something I need to say.

Winefree