Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Everyone:

Hippie, I haven't gone into General or Newcomers for a while. In fact, because of time constraints, I don't stray far from this thread. I think that's fine. Welcome to this thread, & your comments are very thought provoking. Also, anyone who hasn't been to AA or to just a few meetings, please feel free to ask questions or make comments. Please remember that the line of thinking at this thread is abstinence not moderation.

I do try to share a little at almost every meeting I attend. Even if it's something about the reading that struck a chord w/me. There might just be someone who can identify, & my comment could make some sort of impact on his/her life.

I have a small meeting on Sat. night where people speak from their hearts. It is such an unusual & moving experience. There aren't many places where that happens. We have friends whom we've know for years & years, & the conversation has never gotten above a certain level of intimacy. It almost makes me happy to be an alcoholic, therefore having the privilege of attending AA meetings.

Mary

[Sheepish]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi Everyone
I am spurred on by the notion of 'sharing because it may help someone else'- what a great insight. I am THE WORST when it comes to sharing, don't like it, don't wanna. But flipping the idea around a bit, I can see how that can be a selfish act- as described by Dance and Hippie above. Interestingly, I have been really under the weather for the past 8 days, been to doctor twice, in bed most of the time- a bad flu. I am also very bad at asking others for help- don't like it, don't wanna. My neighbor who is elderly and who i like to watch out for has been insistent on wanting to do things for me (groceries, ride to doctor etc..) I did not want to put her out. After several days of her kind and harassing (my term) phone calls- I 'let' her help me. She was SO HAPPY. I had been depriving her of the very same joy that I get in helping her.....hmmm. Same thing sort of....
So this is my first actual 'share' (oooo I HATE that word even!) on this thread- I do not go to AA, but am really looking at being AF. (10 out of 11 days in MArch). I have been to AA in the past, and was never comfortable there, but that is more about me than AA I think.
I really like this thread and all of you who contribute-
thank you
-Sheep

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Morning Everyone !!

Thanks for the great posts this week. I have been in AA for only 6 weeks now, and I do need to hear how important sharing is at those meetings. Like others have said, I feel being so new I have nothing to share, but there is that selfishness at work in me again. I feel that I owe them something since they are helping me so much, and I should let them know where I am at in the program.

I have found it amazing how much more willing I am to open up to these people than I do in any other place. Feel a kind of kinship with them, I suppose.

I am still so grateful to this thread for opening my eyes to AA. I thought for so long that my only problem was with alcohol and if I could just stop I would be healed. How wrong I was. I feel so hopeful that the program provides tools to help recognize our true faults and how to help "fix" them.

Have a super, sober day!!!!!!!!!!!
HG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi, everyone -

Winefree, when that person made the comment about it being selfish to not share, I was like, "Ouch!"! It was a day I didn't want to share, and was having some issues going on, and was having a real fear of saying any of it out loud. I decided I would try when they got to me, but was going to water it down. Right after the person next to me spoke, it was "burning desire" time, and there were 4 or 5, so I didn't have too. The HP looks out for all of us, I guess - even me! :H

I didn't talk for awhile, and don't always. Sometimes there's so much good stuff coming out of everyone else's mouth, and I can't add anything different. I think the first time I talked, a person who was just back in, after a few years away said something similar to my thinking, and not at all in line with what others said of their experience. It had to do with guilt. I never felt guilt for drinking itself. In my later years I kept away from drinking around others, so didn't have ant bad behavior issues come up to feel guilty about. I did talk because this guy did, and he thanked me after the meeting because he felt out of place in the room since his thoughts appeared so opposite of most everyone. I too had a lot of fear going in there, especially about talking. I did it in "baby steps" and never pressured myself on timelines for talking, finding a sponsor, or anything. I would not have stayed if I felt that kind of pressure. I listen a lot. If I really don't want to talk on any given day, I'll go to a speaker meeting instead.

I think I identify with the newbies more than I realize. One woman I thought maybe I'd ask to be my sponsor only has a couple more months than me. I think I've got a radar for that as well!

Hippie, I still post in general sometimes, but lately I feel a whole lot more comfortable over here. This thread is what got me looking into AA. I'm glad I checked the thread out! It's funny because when I went to AA, I started thinking about what I write on here. I have always intended to be respectful, but could never tell if I'm getting too preachy maybe (a big AA no-no, kids, for the ones who don't know). But I can tell my story and I'm still a hard line AF person, because that's how I have to be. I do like AA because it is for people who have a "desire to quit drinking" or are already sober. One thing there are a lot of in AA are people who at one time thought they were OK to have "just one" or could "control it" (everyone!).

There are a few in my group who like to hear themselves talk. There's one old timer that some of the others jump his ass about it. I usually like hearing him, but then I guess I haven't heard the same stories for several decades! I almost interrupted him one day for his misconceptions of Carl Jung!

Sheepish - Welcome! I "share" (that is one of those words.... ) here a lot more than other threads. This really is like having own AA group - and many times I feel safer asking questions about it to MWO people just because I've been here longer. Plus this "meeting" runs 24/7, so you can write when you're ready, not be put on the spot.

I gotta run and get ready to go to the live 3-D version. Have a great day, all! :h

P.S. Hi, Horsegirl! Every time I go to post this, someone else has already!

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Mary, what is the speak from the heart meeting? Is it the same as one I've seen listed called "Language of the Heart" I think? Could you elaborate? Thanks!

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi, everyone -

Today was BB day, and we're on that chapter More About Alcoholism, that describes all the various types. I find the more I read these stories, the more I get. Even though this book was written many years ago, we're still the same. The same denials, the same excuses, everything.

The story where the guy decides if he puts whiskey in his milk, that somehow that is different than just drinking whiskey. The way he rationalizes the first one, and then the second, and the third. Twisted thinking indeed. He did not intend to start drinking again that day. He was in his words "a little irritated" about the fact he now worked for the company he used to own. Someone brought up a great point about festering resentments we may not even be aware of the source of. I know right before I decided to try AA, I had some of that going on. I felt it coming on, I felt I would want to drink, I almost said "screw it" when I walked into Target right before Christmas, and this huge wine display was set up right there. Fortunately I used my good old MWO toolbox tools, and went around the store doing other shopping first, and the immediate urge passed, but it really scared the crap out of me.

I had felt pretty secure in my sobriety until then, and this took me totally off guard. That's when I started looking into more tools, and decided AA was maybe not a bad thing! I am one of those people who I doubt would get back on the wagon quickly, should I jump off. So I really don't want to ever go there.

My main point was the way our crazy alkie minds are able to rationalize anything using mental acrobatics that are so totally insane. That's not even considering the amount of mental energy we devote to it.

I know I personally have to be so aware of this. To me that's where that 100% honesty with ourselves at all times comes in. Whenever we start lying to ourselves, we might be done for. I think that's what's so helpful hearing stories from real people if only to remind ourselves exactly where we were and could be again, should we choose to drink.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Dance: It's not a special meeting w/a special format. It's just an ordinary discussion meeting that is quite small, held in a cozy room in a church, w/only candles for light. It's on a Sat. night, & it seems that regardless of what the topic is, there is always "heartfelt" sharing. I like the sharing at all the meetings I go to, but this one is a little special in that we've become real friends in that little room.

As far as sharing & my nervousness thereof: For me, it's really about self-centered fear. "What will people think of me?" "How will I sound?" etc. I've found that often when I feel like I sound like I'm not making sense or that no one could possibly identify, someone will come up to me after the meeting & tell me that my sharing was meaningful to them in some way. Go figure. I'm trying very hard not to over-think what I'm going to say. I'm trying to listen to others & when it's my turn, I try to say what is in my mind & heart.

Sheepish: I loved your story about your elderly neighbor wanting to help. When we refuse help, we don't allow others to feel good about helping us. I don't always want help, because I don't want to feel "obligated" in some way. I'm trying to be more in the moment & enjoy receiving as much as giving.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi all. What a great topic about helping others as well as sharing with others. The woman whose house we helped clean today gives and gives and gives some more in so many ways to the AA program and all the people in it. But she didn't want to accept help either. We "reminded" her of the lesson she lives and teaches - that we need to help another alcoholic to stay sober ourselves. So today, she was that alcoholic for us to help.

Dance, I love that story about the whiskey in the milk. That is so nutty - just EXACTLY like something I would think up. I'm with you. after 2 months sobriety, my relapse lasted 8 months. I shudder to think how long a relapse might last after almost 2 years! (8 years????? I don't think I could live through that!!)

Hello to HG and Sheep and WF and Hippie and Mary and Phil and Catch 22 and everyone else I missed in that list!

Todays meeting was good for me. I know that because I had some uncomfortable moments. The lead today centered on prayer. I used to NEVER pray unless it was a "foxhole" prayer (please get me out of this jam type stuff) or a "Santa" prayer (here's a list of everything I want you to "bless" me with..). Now I say prayers mainly in accordance with the AA suggestions. (3rd, 7th, serenity, 11th, etc.) Very simple and I try to be very mindful of what the 11th step says. (ONLY for knowledge of His will and the strength to carry it out.) I don't know why, but I'm not comfortable talking about my own praying (how it was OR is) in meetings. And I'm pretty gabby about most stuff. (I'm sure you find that shocking :H) I don't know what that's all about, but I'm sure I need to give it some thought!

A really cool thing at this meeting was one guy who got his 28 year chip, and another guy who is newly sober and can't be much over 21 years old. The newly sober guy commented how much he valued seeing someone get a 28 year chip. He's been struggling with the idea of living a sober life, and how can he possibly do it. It made me think about being newly sober and how a sober life seemed completely impossible. I really appreciated reading the posts here at MWO of people who were sober for awhile. It is so valuable that these people keep coming back and showing and sharing. Truly a "pay it forward" program.

Another great story came out from Step Coach today. He was the speaker last night at a meeting quite a ways from here and a little late, so I didn't go. But he too has been of such great service to so many people I guess there were almost 50 people at that meeting. He met a woman last night who introduced herself as 7 weeks sober and Step Coach had sponsored her father years ago. Paying it forward across generations.

It feels a bit like a free fall letting myself get a little more involved these days. It will be OK though I think. Also, I am finally letting go what feel like the last of my resentments towards my first sponsor. That is a blessing for both of us.

Hope everyone is having a great rest of the day.

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Just a quick hello and thanks to all for sharing.

Dance, I loved the mental acrobatics of rationalization statement......my mind was great at that and I'm afraid still is. I have to stay away from that crazy thinking or I'll be off the wagon for sure.

Need to break through my silence and learn to speak up at meetings. I think it's a lot of self centered fear that keeps me from sharing. I really do enjoy listening and taking it all in. It seems others really have the need to share and I hate to take time away from them if they really have something to say that is important to them. I know I will speak up if I have something burning, since I have on occasion.

Winefree

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi Everyone...

[QUOTE=Horsegirl;820337]
I feel so hopeful that the program provides tools to help recognize our true faults and how to help "fix" them.

I feel like this Horsegirl, i dont think no one likes to recognize there true faults i got a feeling this will help me a lot once im ready to get started and the program, but im or not realizing when i do share i am sharing my faults, if that makes sense.

Last monday i could relate to this lady that was on the chair speaking to do with the kids how they didn't like to see her going out, she made out she was going to to library, it put tears to my eyes knowing i never keep it a secret from my kids, anyway i share couldn't believe myself because the room was more crowned, it was nice at the end a man in front of me turn around and said i enjoy listening to what you had to say.
I can undersatand when they say you need to go more than once a week, so when ever i get extra time on my hands i cant wait to go to AA meetings.

Thanks everyone for sharing i really do enjoy reading what everyone has to say...

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Great comments one & all! Last night's meeting was on the 11th step, thus on prayer. Praying only for God's will is, for me, an exercise in simple faith. I do it & hope for the best. I try not to think about it too much. It seems that logic & prayer are sometimes non-compatible. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi all! Catch 22, I have melted in tears more times than I can count at meetings. For me, part of it is just the release of so many "secrets" related to my drinking that I kept bottled up inside for all those years. At first I felt really self-conscious about the tears, but by now I've seen LOTS of tears from lots of people, and I think ALL of us around the tables have felt that sense of relief at some point - sharing with people who completely understand.

Mary, I too love the simplicity of asking for God's will for me and the strength to carry it out. Keeping it simple to that and the few prayers in the big book keeps me from straying into the foxhole or Santa's Village.

I love the 24-hours a day reading today.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The Prodigal Son "took his journey into a far country
and wasted his substance on riotous living." That's what
we alcoholics do. We waste our substance with riotous
living. "When he came to himself, he said: I will arise
and go to my father." That's what an alcoholic does in
A.A. He comes to himself. His alcoholic self is not his
real self. His sane, sober, respectable self is his real
self. That's why we're so happy in A.A. Have I come to
myself?

Meditation For The Day

Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the
simple things always. Life can become complicated if you
let it be so. You can be swamped by difficulties if you
let them take up too much of your time. Every difficulty
can be either solved or ignored and something better
substituted for it. Love the humble things of life.
Reverence the simple things. Your standard must never
be the world's standard of wealth and power.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may love the simple things of life.
I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free.

The part I bolded tells me plainly that *I* created a lot of my own difficulties. The exciting news is that *I* can also choose to live differently and more peacefully than all that. It's empowering!

I am looking forward to Big Book study tomorrow, and resuming my regular "official" step work meetings with my sponsee.

Have an awesome sober day everyone!

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14


:bday7::day4::bday3:Happy Birthday Mary (retteacher)!!!:bday3::day4::bday7:


I just noticed your name on the "Todays Birthdays" List! Happy 29th Birthday!

I hope you have an incredible day!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Thanks DG!

I don't have to let life become complicated. I can wait for situations to arise & take care of them appropriately. Often, I anticipated all kinds of complications & to avoid, I drank...thus creating MORE trouble for myself.

My simple approach is to stay sober, call on HP as needed, & try to help someone else.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Greetings from Kansas.
Some of you know I'm here dealing with EOL issues for my mother. It has been a struggle. Last night I had the thought of buying a case of beer and hiding out in her house where I am staying. Fortunately I got a call from another person in recovery and we went to dinner and talked. Today I made it to a noon meeting and WOW, what a difference a day makes.

I'm so grateful I did not drink, grateful for MWO and AA and all of you.