Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

:l Phil. I am SO happy to hear that you did not carry out your case of beer plot last night. I'm so glad there was another person in recovery that you could spend time with instead. More and more each day I'm appreciating the value of not being alone in this. Strength vibes to you and your loved ones as you work through this difficult time.

DG

[Guitarista]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Happy birthday Rett!
I love reading this thread.

Best wishes everyone.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Phil: To me, that call from a friend was HP at work in your life. You might not have gotten the case of beer (poison), but today you have more clarity & serenity as a result. Just think about how you would have felt had you gone through w/your plan. Awful, I'm sure. Was the person an AA friend? If so, he/she must have a 6th sense about you. Great job!

As for me: the blessings just mount up all the time. Maybe they were there while I was drinking, but I just didn't know it. The alcoholism just overtook everything else in my life. Last night the children & g-kids came over for B-day cake. There was much excitement as Grandma opened her presents (lots of cooking/baking stuff). These were moments I couldn't savor when I was drinking, as I had to think about sounding, looking, & acting sober. So, instead of acting sober, I WAS sober.

Mary

[Sheepish]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Just wanted to say
Happy Birthday Retteacher!
Hope you had a great day~
:flower:
-Sheep

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

hi everyone,i thot id join in,interesting comments as usual,tho i havent been to AA since ,tuesday of this week,and diont no if all go back,i still find u folks quite sincere,i like what hippie said,honesty,watering down ones comments to meet others needs,i do beleive the steps or the AA principle are just that,feelings,did we have them when we drank,do we have them when were sober,when were drinking,to some ,were intolerable,and yet when werre sober,or i am,i find it very hard to tolerate some comments of others around me,,it tis a never ending battle,when im drinking,im a raving maniac at times,not all the time,when im sober,i dont ge t where people are coming from,i beleive there is the old ,saying,your damed if you do,and your dammed if you dont,i beleive bob and bill had a brighter view of there program,that it would grow not only in size,but in other ways,i beleive some in AA are stuck in the past,that is what im finding of late,i am glad it is working and guiding you folks gyco

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi everyone! I love the Saturday Big Book study and I'm really enjoying this period of time where we are reading one story per week. With each story, I reaffirm my knowledge that I have something in common with EVERY alcoholic. I might have more in common with some than others, but there is ALWAYS common ground. Always. I am blessed by having such a wide variety of people in my life now from every walk of life. Every age group and lifestyle and profession is represented. Out of the depth of my suicidal alcoholic despair, it's just amazing to be surrounded by all these caring people with common ground.

Here is a link to the Big Book on-line. Big Book Online Fourth Edition The story we read today is this one. http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_t...nearlyall2.pdf As always, there are similarities as well as differences for me. I choose to focus on the similarities these days. I love the last paragraph of the story.

The rewards of sobriety are bountiful, and as progressive as the disease they counteract. Certainly among these rewards for me are release from the prison of uniqueness, and the realization that participation in the A.A. way of life is a blessing and a priviledge beyond estimate -- a blessing to live a life free from the pain and degradation of drinking and filled with the joy of useful, sober living, and a priviledge to grow in sobriety one day at a time and bring the message of hope as it was brought to me.

While my "bottom" was not on skid row, it was me wanting to kill myself. I might have had fancier clothes on, and a nicer roof over my head, but AL could have claimed my life just as easily as any "urban campers" out there.

I am just feeling a very deep sense of spirit right now. I am also feeling a certain amount of fear as I go deeper into new relationships and committments. I am trying to keep the lessons I have learned so far in this area at the forefront, and "take it easy" as they say. As one example, I actually said "no" to a request that Sister make of me today. I never imagined having a nun for a sponser much less ever saying "no" to one! But it was the right thing to do and she understood completely. In the past I would have said "yes," and then been resentful that she ever even made the request, and I would have done what I committed to do (that I shouldn't have) with a HORRID attitude.

It takes effort and practice to improve the way I relate to the world around me and all the people in it. But it's worth it!

:l to all!

DG

[Seacailin]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hello All and a Very Happy Birthday to Mary:bday7:
Thank you all for sharing your AA experiences. I am still attending meetings. This morning was a speaker discussion meeting. The man who spoke was celebrating 7 years of sobriety. I then went to a luncheon at a church that I am going to check out. It was very nice. Imagine...me Church hopping instead of bar hopping. It's all good.
Things are starting to look up for me. When I continue to do the "next right thing", I fight this happens. A friend of mine gave me a car that he was going to sell. I got a couple of calls for possible jobs, and a Nurse that I used to work with called after I reached out to her through the mail, and said that she was glad that I reached out, and that she has family members with addiction problems, so she understands, somewhat. She asked my permission to talk to the Director of Nurses where she works about me. She is going to see if she can get me hired. God is Good!!

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

DG: In your quote was the phrase "the prison of uniqueness." I have felt that way many times, & I can see that I probably use my "uniqueness" to keep my distance from people. I too am trying to reach out to others in the program, & it isn't easy. There is a time to say yes, & a time to say no. I don't always know the difference. I am working on it, because isolation is my natural tendency, but I KNOW what that leads to.

I too like the BB meetings where a chapter is read then discussed. I go to a meeting like that on Sun. night. Regardless of how outlandish the story seems to me, I ALWAYS identify in some way, shape, or form.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Yes Mary, "prison of uniqueness" is something I too can really identify with. I'm enjoying my "engagement with humanity" these days, but am struggling more with specific committments with individuals. i.e. Planning to go to a meeting or other group event is no longer a problem for me and I enjoy that, and nearly always go according to whatever I planned. But knowing I have the option of NOT going - without "letting someone down" has a big appeal for me. One on one committments are a little different and don't have quite the same level of "out" for me. And I really struggle with that for some reason. And if I were a betting person, I would say it's fear based!

Oh - Mary I meant to say that I think your birthday party sounds like it was fabulous!! OH the energy I used to spend doing exactly what you describe - trying to look and act sober while working hard to sneak enough AL to satisfy me....it's exhausting just thinking about it. And you are right - I didn't truly enjoy anything when I had to do it that way.

Sea, I am so happy for you that the miracle is happening in your life!!!! I have no idea how or why this really works....but it WORKS!! It really DOES!!! Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, the promises come true if we work for them.



DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Yes, those personal committments are difficult. I'm sure it's all about fear:
-Will I do/say the right thing?
-Will he/she say "no?"
-Will I have a good time?
-etc.

I really think it takes time, but I do have to push myself sometimes. If I follow my own inclinations, I won't do anything. I know what that leads to: few meetings, possible relapse.

Mary

[Guitarista]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Things are starting to look up for me. When I continue to do the "next right thing", I fight this happens. A friend of mine gave me a car that he was going to sell. I got a couple of calls for possible jobs, and a Nurse that I used to work with called after I reached out to her through the mail, and said that she was glad that I reached out, and that she has family members with addiction problems, so she understands, somewhat. She asked my permission to talk to the Director of Nurses where she works about me. She is going to see if she can get me hired. God is Good!!
Yep, this is how it all work's. Bravo Sea!...........;-)

[hippie37]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Belated birthday wishes Mary. :l

One of my biggest fears STILL about sharing is that someone is going to tell me "You're doing it wrong!". Normally I'm the type of person that needs things re-affirming for me, that lets me know I'm on the right path. So when it comes to sharing it's about having a 'voice' of my own. That's scary because the only back up I have is God on my side. So Yes, if I improve that conscious contact through step 11 my faith in a higher power is what will give me the confidence to believe my voice has value in the world whether it be right or wrong in accordance with others. At the end of the day "others" shouldn't come into the picture at all.

I used to think that step 11 was the most important step for me because of this. Carl Jung describes addiction as "a thirst for wholeness". I believe it's that "thirst" that lead me into drinking in the first place. I don't know how many times in meetings I hear people share about "Not fitting in", "feeling different", "uncomfortable in my own skin" etc. I was no different. It was due to this philosophy of Jung's about "wholeness" though that I started to see the much bigger picture concerning my own addiction. How could I possibly feel complete when I had this snake called addiction wrapped around my very spirit. It's only through unraveling the snake with the steps that I've unlocked the mysteries of my own creativity. We all have the power within us to be our own 'therapists' and create who we are. I guess I'm going more into the teachings of Buddha here though!

I was told by my sponsor that if you want to know how to get sober and stay sober then all's you have to do is read the first 164 pages of the BB. I do that to address my addiction but step 11 does open up some magical pathways into deepening ones own recovery. "Know Thyself" springs to mind here!

There is ONE meeting in my area that I feel (and probably quite a lot feel that way too) is VERY powerful indeed. There is a lot of recovery in the room and it's one I'm starting to go to a lot more these days. It does clash with a BB meeting I used to go to but right now I feel more inclined to attend this one. It's less intimate but it's one that definitely has me walking away from every time feeling "powered up" and "plugged in". BB meetings can get a bit philosophical at times I find with peoples interpretations taking presidence over truth.

Anyway I'm off to bed, my daughters staying with my tonight and I've got an early start in the morning. Hopefully going to a meeting tomorrow night local.

Love and Light
Phil
xx

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

Hi, everyone -

Great posts as usual!

Phil - I'm glad you your situation turned out the way it did. Keep the faith. I remember when I had that going on with my own mother. Love and strength to you.

Seac - That's wonderful news - I'm happy things are looking up for you.

Mary - Happy belated birthday from me too! I know I enjoyed my sober one - when alcohol is out of the equation, you free yourself to really see and experience the day. The little things mean more. I don't think I appreciated them as much before. All I looked forward to was the "party" part. Or getting it over with so I could drink more.

I went to the big women's meeting today. I didn't share, my mind was just blank (living in the moment was the topic, and the moment was blank). I don't know what it is about that meeting. I think I've talked once, and I go every week. I did hang around and talked to people afterward though. So it's not the women themselves. Oh well. I did make a commitment to go to the Monday night women's meeting. One member. who is kind of the "godmother" of everyone asked us, saying it is dwindling, and she doesn't want it to die off. It's sort of her baby or something. So I will make a point to go. I didn't feel obligated really. I have been avoiding it I think. It can be a little intense, but I also have opened up a lot (for me) when I do speak in there. So I'll just assume it's an HP thing, nudging me. Something I probably should do. Face my fears again, if nothing else. This one is always from 12 & 12, so maybe it's more specific (in my mind anyway) than some. Maybe that's why I come up with something to say. Or maybe because it's a smaller meeting. Plus I really like our godmother! She is someone the longer you know her, the more you love her. She's one of those people that is always such a positive example of what AA is about, and she is a joy to be around.

I was going to write more, but now I'm going blank again. One thing I love about this thread is there's so much here, it feels impossible sometimes to respond to it all in one sitting. So thank you Gyco, Catch 22, Hippie, Guitarista, and anyone else if I missed you. I always look forward to everyone's input. See ya'll in the morning! Have a good evening, everyone. :h

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

accepting,acceptance, fitting in,AA is a lot like that,not much different then the ,so called real world,it is not new,and it will never get old,ty folks for havin g the patience to understand where im a t in my sobriety,everyones path is different,tolerance of others,human,and that is all we are have a wonderful day, gyco off to church

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - March 8-14

hippie37;821693 wrote:
I used to think that step 11 was the most important step for me because of this. Carl Jung describes addiction as "a thirst for wholeness". I believe it's that "thirst" that lead me into drinking in the first place. I don't know how many times in meetings I hear people share about "Not fitting in", "feeling different", "uncomfortable in my own skin" etc. I was no different. It was due to this philosophy of Jung's about "wholeness" though that I started to see the much bigger picture concerning my own addiction. How could I possibly feel complete when I had this snake called addiction wrapped around my very spirit. It's only through unraveling the snake with the steps that I've unlocked the mysteries of my own creativity. We all have the power within us to be our own 'therapists' and create who we are. I guess I'm going more into the teachings of Buddha here though!

You got me thinking, Hippie, with the Carl Jung references. In some way I find a similarity between AA and Jung (not totally, but something). I'm also not familiar with any of his writings on addiction. But then, I never thought of myself as addicted, just crazy!

Many years ago I went to a psychotherapist who was big into Jung. This was only over the course of maybe two to three months, so it wasn't for a long time. What sticks out for me was I really liked that broader view rather than just my own problems, the almost mythological aspect, the archetypes, the dream analyses, and the fact it was the most useful therapy I ever had. I actually was able to stop doing what I went in for (obsessive thinking to the point I would do it even sleeping by continuing to dream it). He also incorporated I guess "art therapy'" into it. I'm a much more visual learner, and not always a real clear verbal communicator, so I he had me draw my dreams then we analyzed them. I think I also had to redraw them to sort of "redo" my thinking. Maybe we just talked about it.

I remember too one time he asked me about my concept of God, if I had one, which was something I'd never consciously thought about, since it was pretty vague. I had one, and had to describe it. I was a little intimidated, because I had noticed all these books on religion on the shelves, and I stayed as far away from that as possible. I told him it was everywhere, in everyone, in the room, on the furniture, the floor, in nature and everything and everybody in the universe is connected by whatever this force or energy is. I'm happy to say I was honest about it, and he was OK with my own individual interpretation (I used to want my therapists to like me - not real useful for getting results!). I found out this guy was an ordained Episcopal priest years later when he was married to someone I worked with (that ol' synchronicity stuff!).

Back to the point, the "wholeness" of the AA program - the practical tools to do your own useful therapy, the emphasis on the spiritual aspect, the idea of the group consciousness, without a leader, this is what I see as similarities, I think. I love the fact that it works in practical terms and skills, and the longer I am there, the more I realize and appreciate the spiritual angle. It was not unknown to me before, but putting it to use on an ongoing basis, looking at that first is new.

On a side note, I thought it was so cool someone in the first part of the book had actually talked to Jung in person. Funny too, when we were reading it one day, that was the paragraph I got. My old hero right there on the pages of the BB.