Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: It's evening, & since nobody started this thread, I thought I would. I just got back from my Mon. women's meeting. There are many young women there who are from a half-way house in town. Over the weekend, there were 2 women who relapsed & left the house, & the remaining women were very upset, angry, & sad. It must be upsetting when a person you've lived with goes out & drinks. I think this underscores the point that this is a disease we are dealing with. I didn't join AA in order to learn how to drink like a normal person. I already know I cannot do that, as I've tried over & over.

I'm going through a period of contentment w/my sobriety. I cannot imagine taking a drink, regardless of any circumstances. One of my goals is to be a person who can go through a crisis or a difficult struggles w/dignity, grace, & most of all sobriety. The daughter of one of my friends is going through chemotherapy. She went to h.s. w/my son (they're both 40), & I've known her mom for 2 full decades. The whole family is going through this crisis in the best way they can one day at a time. There's a world of people out there who do not drink through difficult struggles. I will be one of those people.

Anyhow, enough rambling.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Mary, thanks for the start. Let's see...since I got sober (again), my brother died, my mother had a heart attack, fell, fractured her hip, and is in a facility that Medicare is not paying for right now, and I'm dealing with my oldest brother that is a practicing alcoholic.

I joked with my sponsor, saying "gee, I thought life was supposed to get easier" . I think perhaps God/HP was just waiting for me to get sober to deal with these issues. I have to admit that I actually feel emotions now instead of numbing them out with a dozen beers or so. It truly is better to deal with life on life's terms.

Today at the 630am meeting my sponsor picked up his 9 year chip and a young lady got her 90 day chip. It was a cool event. Never thought I would be such an advocate of AA.

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

hi folks,interesting comments,my sister was just diagnoised with breast cancer,she had a biopsy performed the other day,results will be in ,within 2 weeks,i cant amagine saying to her,my ailment[so called disease]is comparable to yours,shes 60,this year,my mother died in 1973,lung cancer,she smoked ,75 cigerretts a day,she was 57 ,when,she passd away,my father worked in the mines,for years,he was 63 when he passed away,a lady in are city the other week,was a triathelete,most dont no the circumstances of the accident,she was wearing an I D.tag, only so she could be recognised in case of a problem,well there was a problem,she crossed a highway and was hit by a transport truck,[self infliction],and i beleive [disease[ are totally different,people have to find what works for them,it is nice to see how AA,is helping you folks,maybe my journey is a bit different then yours,time will tell have a wonderful day gyco

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Phil: I know exactly what you mean about taking life on life's terms. I've had a few struggles in the year I've been sober, as there are no guarantees in life. It isn't easy feeling all the feelings, but what's the alternative? Getting drunk & feeling shame on top of everything else? That's not for me right now. While we arranging my father's funeral service, we had one particularly stressful day. My SIL (non-alkie) had ONE glass of wine to take the edge off. I don't have that luxery. I managed quite nicely without anything. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

cpn1004;826394 wrote: Never thought I would be such an advocate of AA.

Me either Phil. Me either. I was a LOUD "AA is NOT for ME!" person for many years. (denial X 10???)

Anyway...

Mary, thanks for getting things started this week and thanks everyone for your comments. I too feel like I am in a period of contented sobriety. I am also very blessed that life is not really presenting me with the kinds of difficulties that some of you are facing at the moment. I think life is just like that - there are periods of calm and periods of storm. I think I need to just appreciate this period of calm and savor it. There will be storms too.

I used to really "fight" spiritual and religious things. Now I feel more accepting and also more curious. Especially since AA says "God of your understanding" I find myself curious how that might seem in the context of spiritual beliefs outside of Christianity. I checked out a CD set on Buddhism at the library last night. Of course one set of CD's can only scratch the surface of this topic. But from the outset, I find it reassuring in some way that the basic concepts do not seem to be in conflict with anything AA. The first CD has mentioned things like our egos and selfishness getting in our way - just one example. I'm finding it interesting in any case. I'm glad I found the section at the library with all the CD's. I might get more listening done than reading done the way life is going these days!

Todays meeting was good. It was "open topic" and the chair gave a lead about regrets. The discussion centered around how regrets can lead to resentments which can lead to drinking. As people commented and I thought about the topic, I came to realize how valuable Steps 9 and 10 are for me. (making amends and taking daily inventory) I have also found it very valuable to seek input from my sponsor when I'm faced with things I'm not certain about (i.e. regrets related to the past) She always has wonderful insight as someone "outside" the situation. I'm learning to accept her suggestions and just move on. It's nice to rely on HP or others, and not try to carry every burden or solve every problem all by myself.

Phil, I love those days when an early anni and a several year anni are celebrated on the same day. It brings things full circle for me somehow.

Have a great day and week everyone! I haven't had as much time to get on line recently but I'm sober and happy about that!

DG

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Hi, all. Another quick check in. Glad to hear from you all.
I too love the newcomers celebrating mixed with the old timers. It gives me hope and strength to continue on this path toward long term sobriety. I don't want to be the 30 day person returning. I am grateful to have gotten past that and more and will continue to take it one day at a time. The peace and serenity is evident in my life at the moment despite some trying situations in the family at present.

I am grateful for AA and all of you in MWO who share your daily trials, tribulations and achievements so freely. You are an inspiration to me and I'm sure many on this site.

Winefree

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Thanks for everyone who is sharing.x

Hi everyone,
Reading through all your post is interesting i always let AL block everything out. I have had lots of deaths in my family and close friends that had passd way at a young age and i have never allow myself to deal with my real feelings and emotions
The other day one of the lady at AA was saying how her little boy had pee around the toilet seat and cryed because she did not have enough money or the last few pennies to add up to buy bleach to clean the toilet, but she said not once AL had enter her mind. I listen to people in AA how they get through life when a member of there family have passd away and not once they say AL has enter there mind, i say to my self i want some of that im not a 24/7 drinker but im a 24/7 thinker. One thing i always have to remind myself that AL can occur at the most unexpected times and we may never understand the reason for it.
Wanted to write about the the Birthday Party i went to on saturday at a wet place. (pub) but shall write about that tomorrow. Have to go to my group meetings...
Take good care All have a good day.x:l

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Hi all! Mary I am so happy for you making 1 year sober!! I wish I could be there when you pick up your coin! I hope you will share about it so it will feel like we were there with you. While I am grateful for every sober day, there is something very special about that 1 year mark. For me, it felt like the beginning of a new phase. Sort of like going fom grade school into junior high or something. LOL, probably more like pre-school to first grade, at least in my case.

WF, I too am so glad to be past the difficulties of the first 30 days. (of course with the caveate that I can never take anything for granted!) It's nice to be able to focus on developing as a person and on relationships and also have that contentment you mention. It's so nice to get beyond that period where just not taking a drink from moment to moment was all I could think about. But that was a necessary phase. It IS nice to start being able to handle difficult things without getting all bent out of shape. I was a master of that.

Catch, my brain goes at warp speed 24X7 too. I was thinking when I read the bold part of your post about the occassions even now where some random, wierd AL thought will just cross my mind. It's not like an urge or anything that I feel like acting on. But just a thought from the old days that is all "glammed up" to make it seem enticing. I think if I were not actively working on keeping sobriety my #1 priority each day, I might be tempted to act on a thought like that. I hope you come back and share about the B-day party!

Mr. Doggy has a big presentation this AM for our local Chamber of Commerce so I will be attending that rather than my usual meeting. I find I really miss my usual meetings when I can't go.

Have a terrific day everyone. YOU are my meeting today, so thank you!!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Everyone:

I often hear people start off their sharing: "This time in AA..." or "I've been around these rooms & am coming back..." I don't want to "come back." I don't want to leave, because leaving means drinking for me. I do not have the fortitude to NOT drink wo/a meeting 3 - 4 times @ week. That's a necessity for me. I'm not so doctrinaire that I feel everyone should think that way. My brother stopped drinking a few years ago completely on his own. But, I'm much more of a hard case & NEED the support of AA.

I'm excited, because this is a week of celebration for me. I'll be celebrating my 1st anniversary on Thurs. and on Sun. I'm a little nervous about being in the spotlight, but I feel good about being an example to the struggling newcomer. Last night was my real anniversary & my youngest g-son's 5th BD. We had a quiet family night of tacos (his request) & b-day cake. A fancy dinner couldn't have been nicer.

Mary

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

bravo

retteacher;827163 wrote: Everyone:

I often hear people start off their sharing: "This time in AA..." or "I've been around these rooms & am coming back..." I don't want to "come back." I don't want to leave, because leaving means drinking for me. I do not have the fortitude to NOT drink wo/a meeting 3 - 4 times @ week. That's a necessity for me. I'm not so doctrinaire that I feel everyone should think that way. My brother stopped drinking a few years ago completely on his own. But, I'm much more of a hard case & NEED the support of AA.

I'm excited, because this is a week of celebration for me. I'll be celebrating my 1st anniversary on Thurs. and on Sun. I'm a little nervous about being in the spotlight, but I feel good about being an example to the struggling newcomer. Last night was my real anniversary & my youngest g-son's 5th BD. We had a quiet family night of tacos (his :thanks:request) & b-day cake. A fancy dinner couldn't have been nicer.

Mary

:goodjob:cograts teach,on your anniversary,i recognised thay this morning,

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Mary,
How cool! I thought your year was approaching. Congratulations on that.

Yeah, I don't have the option of a "glass of wine to take the edge off". Its funny, I was discussing my not drinking with a co-worker last night. I just mentioned that I can't drink one or two beers... I can drink 10 or 12, but not one or two. He happens to be a person that can have just one. It is curious and enlightening to me how non-alcoholics don't understand the "disease" or allergy of alcohol.

One more night on the road in Ohio then back to Texas.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Phil: My husb lives w/me, an alcoholic. He still can't quite grasp why I didn't just give up drinking when I saw how destructive it was. People wo/substance addictions do not understand the nature of the beast. I am so proud of the way you've conducted yourself in sobriety...even w/the family issues & all your traveling. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

lol.Doggygirl.... my brain sometimes is like a washing machine that cant stop spinning round and round and i cant find the stop bottom...
Mary... I never knew how destructive i was until i wake up the next day and someone would say do you remember what you said or did ER.... NO.. i know deep down the AL was making my brain chemistry more and more aggressive and it never use to be like that...
Phil...taking the edge off.......we was talking about this saturday night,

OK saturday i was invited to a 40th & 18th birthday party in The Pub, getting ready was really hard work, what ever i put on nothing lookd right on me i really felt uncomfortable in my own skin, when i got there straight away i felt uncomfortable and felt out of place, i was glad my hubby was with me, (the last time i went out was for xmas.) I had coke to drink but i notice how fast i was drinking even soft drinks i cannot take my time and drink it slowly i seem to gulp it down even hot tea !!! I was on edge all night, when i come out of the toilets someone else bought the next rounds in, i was really nervous had to smell the coke first to make sure no one had put alcohol in my drink. YES and people did ask the question Why i was not drinking i just said i dont fancy a drink and they did look surprise.
I was glad when we was going home, if i was drinking i would of been the last person to
leave. I did feel like the black sheep in the crowd i dont feel like i belong in those wet places no more. I even had to wipe my feet on the mat on the way out...:H i was not proud of myself that night until the next morning.....

Have a great day everyone.x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Hi all!

Catch, that party must have been a tough one. I still don't like being in situations where in the old days, I would have REALLY let my wild hair down. (like a personal friend's b-day party in a bar!) Where people would have fully expected that I would be a "leader" in the drinking, and among the last, if not THE last to leave. Just thinking about that gives me the heebie geebies so I sure understand how you must have felt!!

I'm getting more comfortable in business social situations just not drinking. Lots of people don't drink at all, and the vast majority of the drinkers have one or two and that's all. I used to be extremely uncomfortable in THOSE situations as a drinker because I either was frustrated not drinking as much as I wanted to (and focusing on drinking/not drinking v. the business at hand) or over-drinking and feeling rebellious / guilty about it (and focusing on drinking v. the business at hand). So these days, I'm actually comfortable in the situation because I'm behaving "normally" for the setting rather than abnormally as I used to.

Don't know if that makes any sense but is what came to mind about the difference today between "party with friends" and business social.

Mary, I can't wait to hear about your coin today! I totally agree with you and Phil about the difficulty of normies understanding why "just stop if it's a problem" is such a....problem.

I'm looking forward to the meeting this morning. Then I will be going to the gym and later meeting Sister sponsor and another Sister who is a very close friend of hers for a late breakfast. I can't believe I'm 1) hanging out with nuns and 2) enjoying it.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

I too am getting completely accustomed to being in social situations sober. Much more comfortable than when I was drinking, because I always drank too much & needed to monitor myself. Now, I can just say whatever comes to mind. I don't have the problem of hanging out w/excessive drinkers. Our friends are very mod (or not at all) drinkers, so I was the odd person out.

Mary