Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

So Mary, is your meeting tonight where you will be picking up your one year coin? I can't wait to hear about that! I mentioned in AF Daily that there was a guy who got his 1 year coin today at my 7AM meeting. I vividly remember his first AA meeting one year ago. He was shaking like a leaf. Today he was relaxed and happy. His sharing about "how it was" and "how it is now" was fabulous to hear. What a great reminder of how sobriety changes lives - including mine!! I never want to forget how it used to be, compared to how good it is now.

Another girl who has recently been coming to the 7AM meetings met me and the Sisters for breakfast. She was active in AA several years ago in a different community. When she moved to my town, she thought she didn't need AA anymore and never got engaged in the new place. She relapsed about 3.5 years ago. I don't wish relapse on anyone but I'm very glad she has shared her experience. It's a good reminder to me of what will happen if I ever start taking my sobriety for granted. I really like her and she is reaching out looking to make new sober friends. So am I so it's a good match! She is a teach and on spring break this week. We had an AWESOME time with the Sisters at breakfast. Mary, she is a Special Ed teacher. Isn't that what you did? What a very very special and needed career position.

Anyway, Phil - I hope you are getting ready to head back home right about now!! Travel safe. Hello to the other fellow AA travelers here.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

DG: Getting my 1 year coin, along w/a beautiful carrot cake, was an incredible high. I did speak about my 1 year journey. I talked about my very first attendance at that particular meeting. I spoke about how scared I was & how I avoided speaking to anyone before or after the meeting week after week. I talked about going through a year of ups & downs (taking life on life's terms) completely sober.
-I spoke about the wonderful family vaca w/all the kids & g-kids w/no need to amplify the good times.
-I spoke about my husband's wrist injury & kidney stone of last Fall & nursing him through that wo/feeling like I needed to "get away from it all."
-I spoke about my father's death & being able to really BE there for my mother & speaking at Dad's funeral service.
-I spoke about how the steps changed my life.

People I thought had never really noticed me came up to me afterwards & gave me hugs. It was all pretty wonderful.

I have another ceremony w/my Sun. night BB group. My husb is going to come too. That ought to be emotional as well.

I'll admit to tears in my eyes...that's how great my gratitude is.

Mary

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

hi folks,interesting to hear how your meeting went ,and your talk on your years sobriety,teach,even tho ive been in the program for many years,i never reached the year coin thing,in AA,on my own for 2 years,it was interesting,i have my 9 month coin and others b4 that one,,and lapsed 2 months later,more then once,i guess thats where i find the AA program interesting,many tak and say if they went back out,they dont no if they would return,i did, several times,i remember the time i talked to my sponsor on MWO,he had 32 years sobriety,said he beleived the site was not a great thing,there was one way or the hi way,i am more touched a t waht you folks talk of then my xperiences in AA,i beleive the message from bill even at his death,was GROWTH,did you realise he was a firm beleiver of annonymity,weeks prior he gave his up,the outside world or the norms willnever understand alchoholism,it isnt in there genes,curious,can an alchoholic,a real alchoholic stop drinking,gyco

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Mary, I got a tear in my own eye reading your report of the one year ceremony at your meeting! I am just so happy for you. The way you have changed your life is such an inspiration and we are so fortunate that you have chosen to share your journey with us.

Gyco, I really do believe that the miracle can happen for any / all of us, and that includes you. I know this sounds like another "trite" AAism, but please don't give up before the miracle happens for you.

I know there are some who believe AA is THE only way. I do not believe Bill or Dr. Bob necessarily thought that, and I'm going by the things they said in the Big Book and other writings. I believe they would both support WHATEVER WORKS for an alcohlic to stop drinking. AA is a very broad collection of diverse people, with one thing in common. I try to embrace our differences too, and understand where people are coming from. As an example, there is one "old timer" (and he calls himself that!) who is very outspoken and very much a believer that "AA is the only way." At first I felt put off by him. As I have listened to him over time, I realize that AA literally saved his life (as it has for many) and so I can understand his passionate belief that AA is "the best" in his view.

I don't need everyone to agree with me as a believer that different things work for different people. AA is working positively for me (as is MWO) and that's really all that matters for me.

Have a great day all!

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

interesting dog lady,it willbe interesting over the years to see how minds change,growth,i beleive i have seen a miracle in my life,just recognising the problem,everyone around me drink,one either accepts the fact they are different ,or as i put it to my spouse, there not me,i come here cause i see a growth in you folks,a different growth then mine,a different growth then i see at AA meeting i attend,i found the same in treatment,a thousand miles from home,you folks have tot me to accept the fact you feel the way you do,life i beeive is based on others opinions,only thro here and many other things that have happened in my life,ive gotten to xperience that,ive never offended AA ways,i just dont agree with everything they say,there is an old saying,if it works,hold onto it thnx for your support have a wonderful weekend friend gyco

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Hi, everyone -

Gyco - I know somewhere in the BB it says to not discount other methods, that science, doctors, etc may have or will discover ways to treat alcoholism. I think many people, such as the guy DG talks about, know AA saved them when nothing else did. When I first became AF, I was very passionate about what worked for me, and couldn't understand why everyone else didn't do exactly as I did, since it worked so well in my case. Sometimes I felt like smacking 'em upside the head! When I went to AA, I learned about tolerance, and humility, and realized we are not all alike. Even when we appear similar on the surface, same age, same years drinking, same drinking pattern, etc, we're never all exactly alike.

The last meeting I went to was a women's 12/12, and we discussed tradition 3, on inclusion. At first, they wanted to exclude certain types of people, but ultimately decided against it. I think the true spirit of AA is the openness to everyone, with whatever God they choose, and very few rules. I think somewhere in the BB, it says the 12 steps are "suggestions" more than ironclad rules. The line in the "how it works" about "spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection" means a lot to me. That I can try. If it's so rigid I'm going to fail, why bother with any of it? That's how I see it. There are many stories of people who questioned it, questioned the existence of God, etc, but that was always accepted and OK. I hear live stories like that all the time.

The fact is, AA is made up of a cross section of people, and everyone is bound to have differences. I personally see no conflict between MWO and AA, and no one's going to tell me otherwise. I do avoid talk on "moderating", I know I can't ever do that, but whether someone else wants to try, or isn't ready to admit they are alcoholic, or whatever, is not my concern. Many people on this site use drug based methods for sobriety, while I don't. Whatever works for any given individual. I am glad to see many different options, methods, etc, discussed - if I ever find what I'm doing no longer works, I'd always look at at any and all methods. Again, what's right and works for me might not be true for someone else and vice versa.

Are there any other groups in your area you could go to? I know that different meetings, while the same group, sometimes have very different tones. I'm also in a large city, so there are many different people, some only go to certain meetings, etc. I'm still feeling them out as to what works best for me, and it's going in the opposite direction of where I started. If nothing else you still got us! I sometimes feel safer discussing things here I might not bring up at a live meeting.

One more thing - I do love this thread, and it is like our own personal AA group. But that's how they start from what I understand. Hope everyone's having a good day.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Dance & DG: I really think you put the AA philosophy in words beautifully. It's not AA's way to say: "Nothing else can work!" I definitely do not prostelitize about AA, because I've seen people stop drinking on their own. My own brother did it a few years ago. It just wouldn't have happened to me. I needed AA...just as I need MWO for a daily dose of this kind of positivity. Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

As some of you know I'm dealing with family issues in Kansas. My older brother is still in his drinking disease. I finally have accepted that it is what it is.
As an old timer said in a meeting when I discussed this..."your brother's drinking is none of your f#@$%^& business"...hmmm...that is a correct statement.
And I immediately felt serenity when I accepted it.

Off to Kansas tomorrow for a couple of days.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Hi all! Phil, I'm glad you shared that about the fellow traveler mentioning your brother's drinking is none of your *%^&%($ business. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I still drift into upset sometimes over stuff that is absolutely none of my business. Sending you a bit of strength for your time in KS.

I went to the usual 12&12 meeting today and it was fabulous. We started the series again with Step 1. For this, we read Chapter 3 in the BB. It still amazes me how I get something new each time we read it, and especially when the reading is followed by some lively group discussion. Today, the "theme" of the discussion ended up being about how our approaches to drinking and the circumstances of our drinking might have been different, but the bottom line end result was the same for all of us.

Some people said they really never made attempts to control their drinking. (aka the long list of "control" efforts described on page 31 (all the rules we make about drinking only X many, or only on weekends, or only at certain times of day, etc. ad nauseum - all that stuff that never worked!). I realized I was a CHRONIC Control Attempter. It never worked but I kept on attempting. The alternative was to admit I was alcoholic and I sure didn't want THAT! (I recognized many years ago that being alcoholic meant the only solution was to abstain)

This chapter also discusses our longing desire (even if we never voice it) to someday drink "normally" and how that little desire causes so much pain. It sure did for me. It sure does for a lot of people.

Complete acceptance of my alcoholism is the only way I can get and stay sober for the long haul. I believe I am there, and for that I am grateful!

Here is a link if anyone without a Big Book would like to read that chapter.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf

I'm going back for another open speaker meeting at 11AM. A guy I really like is speaking today. I know I have mentioned him before, but it's been awhile. He was abandoned to the streets by his parents when he was only 13 years old. He led a very rough life on the streets. When he came to AA as an adult 17 years ago, he couldn't read as he had not been to school very much of his youth, and NEVER after being on the streets full time. He learned to read with the help of AAers and is now an avid student of all the AA history and other material. His perspective and insight is always interesting. I'm looking forward to it! He has 4 children and it is such a treat to see the gleam in his eye when he talks about them and shows us their pictures. He is not a person of wealth materially, but is sure giving his children a vastly different life than the one he had as a child.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

I tried & tried to control my drinking. I attempted all the rules listed in the BB. What an effort! Now, I don't have to worry about all that. All I have to do is not drink. It's so simple...don't take that first one.

At the step meeting I went to we discussed Trad. 3. You really don't have to even admit you're an alcoholic. All you have to do is have the desire to stop drinking. Nothing else. Pretty simple & inclusive.

Tonight I'll be celebrating my 1st anniversary again at the BB meeting. This feels very wonderful. I actually got a congratulatory card from one of my friends in prog.

Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Hi, everyone -

I found that so amusing when I first read that paragraph in the BB about controlling our drinking! Some things just never change do they? Someone said if they think alcoholics lack willpower, look at all the trouble we go to, all the "solutions" we come up with, the innovative new ways we think no one's ever thought of.... and people in past generations were doing exactly the same! Jeez....

I had an interesting (to put it mildly) drinking dream recently. It went into minute detail how I planned to hide the fact I had "borrowed" and drank some previously unknown imported beer I found in the fridge, memorizing the labels so I bought the exact same replacement, hiding the empty bottles, and subconsciously knowing I'd have to buy a whole six pack to replace a few, and then would "have to" drink them, since it's wasteful to throw them away. It also involved what lies I would tell to AA, if I really had to change my sobriety date since that would be unfair to me, etc. Ugh!

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Great to read what everyone had to say.
I truly can identify with trying to control the drinking issue.....that one backfired for me big time! And yes, even though almost a year AL free, I still have those thoughts I might be able to drink socially in the future. I really don't know why those thoughts keep coming up since I am doing fine AL free. Guess it's the alcoholic mind alive and well.
Got to keep it at bay, ODAT.

Winefree

[In Details]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

AA

AA is a successful program if you put your sobriety no one.. congrats.
I am going through that first 30 days.. this time I am going to do it.
Calling your friends in the group or other group you meet in different
group will keep that 1st drink a way.. Phone therapy work... I should have done
that last friday. I was sober for a good five days and that friday nite I should
have call somebody.. I went to my saturday meeting anyway and felt like a looser
when I saw my friend but she understood... It is important not to drink between meeting.
Feel good to be sober..

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of March 22 - 28

Good morning and welcome to our little Merry Band of AAers In Details! What a good reminder about calling a friend rather than picking up a drink. That's a "bottom line" type thing for me to remember for sure. I love the discussion about all of our "control" efforts and thinking we are so unique when the same things have been tried without success for decades and probably much longer!

I think I will start a new thread for the week so we can carry on!

DG