Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

[Doggygirl]

Hi all! I just read through some of todays readings at this link and there is some good stuff in there today - at least for me and where I'm at.

I liked this one in particular which references both will power and higher power.

As Bill Sees It

Will Power And Choice, p. 88

"We A.A.'s know the futility of trying to break the drinking
obsession by will power alone. However, we do know that it takes
great willingness to adopt A.A.'s Twelve Steps as a way of life that
can restore us to sanity.

"No matter how grievous the alcohol obsession, we happily find that
other vital choices can still be made. For example, we can choose to
admit that we are personally powerless over alcohol; that
dependence upon a 'Higher Power' is a necessity, even if this be
simply dependence upon an A.A. group. Then we can choose to try
for a life of honesty and humility, of selfless service to our fellows
and to 'God as we understand Him.'

"As we continue to make these choices and so move toward these
high aspirations, our sanity returns and the compulsion to drink
vanishes,"

Letter, 1966

When I first came to MWO, MWO was my "higher power" although I didn't see it that way at the time. I needed a community of people trying to get sober together to make any progress at all. I've always thought of myself as a "can do" person accomplishing everything on my own. I never gave credit to the power of the community here at MWO for help in getting me started down the sober path. I still took all the credit myself. I completely misunderstood AA's concept of "higher power." I'm grateful to understand it better now, and to NOT feel all that pressure of thinking I have to do absolutely everything myself - carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I can't explain how the AA program works, I just know that for me, I have tried to make an honest effort to trust and work the program. And the compulsion to drink has been lifted and for that I am very, very grateful.

For this formerly suicidal daily compulsive drinker, this is truly a miracle. To anyone reading this, don't stop trying until the miracle happens for you.

Sister had a bad mamogram recently and is having a biopsy tomorrow. She has so many other health problems that any surgical procedure is complicated. She is scared. If you are a prayer, a little prayer for her would be much appreciated. She has done so much for me and I'm glad to be able to be there for her. I will be calling her tonight with a "pep talk" (at her request) and then going to the hospital tomorrow to hopefully see her when things are done and also call people on her list to let them know all is OK. When I was drinking every day I was in no shape to do these kinds of simple things for other people. I would have not done it at all (i.e. "oh my work schedule is too busy...." of course meaning my drinking schedule) or I would have done it, but with resentment. I will never be able to drink like a normal person, but maybe there is hope for me to behave like a normal person in other ways.

Have a terrific day all!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

DG: It's strange that you speak about the power of the group, because never has it been more apparent to me than this my first anniversary week. Last night, my Sun. BB group gave me a cake & a coin. I brought my husb w/me to the meeting. I can't tell you all what it meant to look around that room at the people who helped me stay sober for over a year. The tears in my eyes were tears of joy & relief that I no longer have to live the way I was living.

I certainly will not rest on my laurels, but I have so much more confidence in myself than ever. I have a few problems in my life (who doesn't???) that need attention, but now I have the feeling that they will work out the way they are supposed to. All I have to do is the footwork.

As far as MWO is concerned: I now know that wo/MWO, I'd have gone years longer wo/recognizing the true nature of my obsession w/AL. I might not have joined AA for the face-to-face camaraderie. This has been integral in my continuing recovery. Thank you one & all. I am truly grateful.

I do have a sense of a HP guiding my life. I'm not afraid at every turn (the way I used to be).

I will pray for Sister. I've read studies that there is scientific proof that prayer works. Coincidentally, DG, I too have made friends w/a former nun (she left her order & got married to a fellow AA member, but remained an outstanding spiritual person). She's recently had serious losses, but her 33 years in program move her forward.

Take care one & all.

Love, Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

I will pray for sister tonight. I wish her well.

Winefree

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

DG.. your sister will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary sounds like you had a great time the cake and the coin it nice to be round people that cares a lot.

Last saturday at my AA meeting this guy open a can it made me jump so much it put shivers down my spines, in my mind i really thought he open a can of beer...It was a coke! He knew straight away what i was thinking, by the look on my face :shocked: we both laugh, he said that the AL Thinking in time that will go.
Mary theres a lot of footwork i have to do i got a feeling that im going to have to do the steps program quiet a few times round, it good to hear people say how different it is the second or third time round.
I have not started my steps yet, im still getting the feel of the place, it takes me a very long time to get to know people. wish i could be like some people and just get in there. oh well easy does it. i really want to read the big book story about bill i have the little blue book. so that will be my next read.
I really love this thread.....
L:hve 2u All.x

[Stargazerlily]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Doggygirl, I just offered up a prayer for sister. You are such a lovely friend to her, she is so lucky to have you. Reading of your relationship over time, it is beautiful, and growing richer over time as you share your life experiences.

Retteacher, your phrase "joy and relief that I no long have to live the way I was living," really hit home for me. I too am grateful that I can give up the misery and learn to live a life of joy. You are also an inspiration to me and I thank you for all your postings.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Catch: Keep going along the way you are...you're doing fine. The first few months I was in program, I was so afraid that I didn't want to talk to anyone. People reached out to me, but I didn't want anything to do w/them in the beginning. I gradually made connections. I knew I would have to in order to recover, but I didn't push myself too hard. Everything happens when it's supposed to happen.

Last night I went to a women's meeting. I've always been bothered by it, because there is a member who is a former student from the school I taught in. For the first time, we spoke about our common experience in school & at AA. It was such a relief! I know I'll keep running into people from the "outside." When it happens, I know now that it's HP's way of teaching me about pride.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

In my previous post I said I didn't push myself too hard. There are times when I do push myself. Those are the times when I know that resistance & fear are not good for my program. There came a time when I said: "I have to become a real part of AA." I eventually did whatever it took to move forward:
-I joined meetings & took office.
-I went to social events.
-I invited people to my home.
-I called people on the phone to check in.
-I asked my husband to go to meetings & events w/me.
-etc.

It's not always easy, but there comes a time when I had to overcome my fears. I can only say that all those efforts paid off one-hundredfold.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Hi fellow travelers! Thank you so much for your prayers for Sister. Yesterday, the doctors changed their minds about the procedure they did today. The decided against the original plan which would have invloved general anesthesia. Sister has breathing issues and they finally decided it was too risky. She still had a biopsy today, but an outpatient procedure involving local anasthesia. I haven't talked to her myself - I got a call from her sponsor. She is back home. She sounded shaken but it seems she is OK. I hope to talk to her as usual tomorrow morning. Her sobriety anniversary is Thursday so she is hoping to be able to go to the frightfully early meeting in her now home town, and also come with me to my town and her previous home group. This means so much to her, I hope she is able to do it. It will be an early day for me, but well worth it.

Mary, I loved reading about your anniversary celebration. You have come such a long way in the last year - I think we all have! I have had to completely re-learn how to establish relationships and trust with people, and I'm so grateful that AA has helped me do that. I can only imagine the sense of relief you must have felt talking to your former student. Isn't it nice to get those uncomfortable things off the table?

Hi WF! Thank you again for your prayers.

Catch, it sounds like you are doing great! I suspect the spirit will move you when it's time to consider moving to the next phase of your AA experience. "Easy does it" is right!

Stargazer I like the new name. But I liked the old name too. Why the change if I might ask? Ever curious. Happy joyous and free is GOOD!

Todays meeting was great. It was "open topic" and the chair chose to talk about the H.O.W. (Honesty, Openess and Willingness) that are at the heart of the first 3 steps. There were so many great stories and comments as we went around the table. For me, when I read that "Willingness is the key that opens the door..." in the 12&12, it was like a huge wall came tumbling down. Realizing that this whole sober world and way of living is available to me if I'm just willing to give it my best shot - well that's pretty amazing.

There were also some interesting comments about honesty. One girl said she is not very honest with herself but is "brutally honest" with others. Ever so gently, a few of the longer timers talked about the most IMPORTANT honesty is with and about ourselves. "Brutally honest towards others" had a bit of a ring of "taking everyone else's inventory." Anyway it's hard to describe here, but I think this girl might have left the meeting with a new perspective to think about. For me, it got me thinking that I always need to keep humility and honesty very near to each other, especially as it pertains to my communication with others.

Well, now I really AM going to get back to my desk cleanup project! Have a fabulous sober day.

DG

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

DG... I hope your sister gets to AA meeeting.:l
It funny my first AA meeting the guy that took it, i could not believe atferwards i went to work and the first person i serve was the guy that took the AAmeeting:shocked:
Also my group session is in my area so i have seen a few people from there. It does not bother me no more the main thing is i want to get better in myself.
Last saturday there was a lady that spoke did 20years wow i know she come from america but not sure where very nice lady. But really had a good belly laugh there.:H
Have a good day ALL.x

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Hi all! Catch, I just now noticed that you are the rockstar formerly known as Teardrop! I remember you! It's good to have you with us again and I am really happy for your sobriety! I know what you mean about seeing people from AA in other places. :egad: That used to freak me out! It doesn't any more. I am getting used to just saying "friend of a friend" on the odd chance anyone asks how we know each other. Where do you live Catch? I always love listening to people speak who have lots of time under their belt. It gives me hope. I also like seeing the newcomer because that keeps a fire lit under my backside. The carrot and the stick! :H

I'm looking forward to calling Sister in a little while to see how she is doing today. From what we read of the procedure on the internet (she had me look it up) it sounds like it might have been uncomfortable in more ways than one. Sometimes there is just no modesty when it comes to medical procedures.

Boy I really like several of the readings today. Daily Recovery Readings It was hard to pick one to paste here! This one from Walk in Dry Places is a good reminder to me that while there are benefits to long term sobriety, I'm still in a one day at a time game.

Walk in Dry Places

A Journey, Not a Destination.
How it Works
"Now that you're sober, why do you stay in AA?" AA members frequently hear this from others not familiar with the fellowship, but it's understandable. They see AA as a place where one goes to be " cured," whereas we learn to see it as an ongoing recovery process that is never really completed.
Sobriety is not an object that one can acquire and then put on a shelf somewhere or on the wall like a diploma. It is more of a JOURNEY IN LIVING, with each day's march being a goal in itself.
You could also say that sobriety is like the "MANNA FROM HEAVEN" described in the Old Testament. Fresh manna arrived each day, but could not be saved for the future. It is the same with us. Today's experience in sobriety is what sustains us, and we're in trouble if we're trying to depend on what was accomplished in the past.
Though we do use the term "permanent sobriety", we never truly possess it. Our quest for sobriety is a lifetime journey.
I'll be on guard against any feeling of "having it made." Sure, past success should be helpful in maintaining today's sobriety. But the quality of today's sobriety will depend only on today's thinking and behavior.

I especially like the last line which speaks to the quality of today's sobriety. Today I will try to do the next right thing in my thoughts and actions.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

I do feel that I need AA for emotional sobriety as well as physical sobriety. Without AA, I'm prone to:
-dishonesty - I'd be hiding all sorts of inconsequential things.
-worry - I'd be wanting EVERYTHING to go my way NOW!
-obsession - I'd be thinking in circles all the time.
-gossip - I'd be trying to make myself feel important talking about others.
-etc.

Dealing w/the problems that come up in life is so much easier sober (w/the help of HP). I now know that everything works out the way it's supposed to. What a relief!

Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Hi ALL,
DG, never thought i was known as a Rockstar I live in the UK two miles out of London in Essex facing the A13 busy road.
It funny when i was going to AA meeting the other day my daughter said to me why are you going, you have stop drinking, i have to go it helps me a lot and i get a lot of satisfaction from it, it keeps me on the right path, also reading throught this thread.
I to like the last two lines each day is a new day for me, im proud that im staying sober i try not to think of numbers too much only think of today.
Easter this week have a lovely Easter everyone and God bless you all.x :h:l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Sometimes I think back on the types of events/issues that used to cause me to drink. Little things really! Then, I compounded the problem by drinking & feeling rotten about it. What a vicious circle that was! Problems are our greatest teachers. I have a small one currently, & as I work on it, I see it working itself out. I use Let Go & Let God alot. That slogan doesn't take the place of the footwork on my part. I do my part & let God see to the outcome. Much, much easier & more satisfying. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Hi everyone! Wow, what a special day this has been. Sister was feeling great today and very excited about her 13 year anniversary. She shared something with me today that I didn't know previously. When the Sisterhood sent her to the rehab (I guess there is one in the US just for nuns!) her liver numbers and other health indicators were SO bad that they told her she probably only had weeks to live. So despite her on-going health issues, she really IS grateful to be alive one day at a time.

There was a huge turnout at the Frightfully Early Five AM meeting in her current home town. There were 3 anniversaries today - 9 months, 4 years and 13 years. And one man in the room with 6 weeks on Saturday. There wasn't an empty chair around the table and Sister gave the lead on Gratitude. She spoke of how working her gratitude list has saved her from drinking, but also from other regular life afflictions such as self-pity, etc. Gratitude meetings are always good for me. When we were nearing the end of the meeting, an "old timer" told the guy with 6 weeks "you are the most important person here because you are at the beginning of your journey." He gave him some great words of wisdom and it was obvious on this guys face that he gained some hope from this meeting. Sister's new location sponsor was there and presented Sister a really pretty 13 year coin in brass and blue coloring.

Then we went to the meeting I always attend which is Sister's previous home group. Another great turnout and another great topic - honesty. (Mary, I like your remarks about that in your recent post!) When I think back to the dishonest way I was living, while THINKING I was a pretty honest person......oy. Sister's previous sponsor who has also become a dear friend was there to present Sister her coin from this group. Brass and red!

Then a few of us went out to breakfast. Sister told the waitress it was her birthday, which I guess is common "code" for anniversaries when people go out to celebrate. After our breakfast, the waitress brought Sister a "surprise" birthday crepe with strawberries on top. She proceeded to pour some brandy on it and light it on fire. :H Then offered to bring extra plate and whipped cream for sharing. :H:H:H I thought this particular waitress knew we were AAers. (lots of AAers eat there, work there, etc.) Sister is really smooth. Without skipping a beat she said "we're really full. Could you wrap that up for me to take home?" There are some Sisters at the home who will be getting some really good dessert after lunch today. :H

Catch, your one day at a time attitude is perfect. Today is the one that matters. I didn't understand why anyone would keep going to AA for years either. Now I do, but it's hard to explain to anyone who isn't an AAer whether they are an alkie or not. Oh well. Nobody needs to understand why I keep going except me! Well, I guess I don't even need to understand it so long as I just keep going!

I don't ever want to relapse. I don't ever want to lose this CONTENTED sober feeling. I am so happy to face the day without hangovers, and with a much better way of dealing with the world around me. I rarely get upset any more. What a terrific blessing!

Mary, I used to say that events caused me to drink. Those were just excuses. I was going to drink anyway. The little stuff was just a rediculous attempt at justification.

WHEE life is good. Hello to other fellow travelers. Hope you are all doing great today.

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

DG - Sending congratulations to Sister on 13 years, and I'm glad she is feeling good!