Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

DG: You sound so wonderful. I would love to have been there! Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Dance and Mary, it was a special day in deed. Can't wait to hear more from you guys here!!! Hope everyone had a great day.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Good to see you all here. I've been home most of this week. It's been great to attend my 630am group.
Thanks for all you do.

[spuddleduck]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

hi, im sure this has been discussed before so apologies if im repeating. ive been looking into AA with a view of taking part. i have found MWO fantastic in helping stay sober. im not sure i would feel comfortable face to face with people but a lot of people here seem to have found it a great help. im not religious and i find the idea of giving over to a higher power strange, are we not in charge of our own destiny? also i live in a fairly small town and as i used to run a pub (ha ha that was a BIG mistake) i am quite well known. although im not in denial about my problem and it is obvious to those who have seen me drunk that i am not a normal drinker, i am worried that there could be 'gossip'. i could imagine that if i had been going to AA and relapsed i would drunkenly tell others about people i had met at AA, so i wonder if other people would do this. im seeing an AL advisor (my drinkshrink) who it turns out i know from parties and festivals (small town syndrome). i nearly died when i met her but it turned out fine and she is a great help.
sorry for waffling, im just curious how people have felt about AA and how they view it helps them. im throwing everything i can at my problem so i want to keep open to options such as AA.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Dear SDuck: I was very, very reluctant to go to AA for many reasons.
-I didn't want to admit my prob in front of "strangers."
-I didn't want to go to "small town meetings."
-I didn't want to get "religious."
-I didn't want to run into anyone I knew from the "outside."
-I didn't want to change.
-& other reasons too numerous to mention.

I had relapse after relapse, even w/the support of MWO. That led me to believe that I needed something more. I needed a real-world (as opposed to a cyber-world) solution. After a particularly horrendous drinking experience, I knew in my heart that I needed AA. I called a friend who was in the fellowship & together we began to work together...going to meetings & learning the principles of the program.

A year later I am still sober & happy. I didn't push myself, especially in the beginning, to make friends or believe anything I didn't feel comfortable with. Yes, there is a spiritual aspect to the program, but it is very inclusive...even to the point where agnostics & atheists feel OK.

Only you can decide if you are ready for AA. Do you really feel committed to sobriety on a one day at a time basis? There are people who have gone in & out of the program. The AAers call that the revolving door syndrome. I didn't want to do that. I wanted AA as a permanent solution to a very difficult problem. I'm not so closed-minded that I think AA is the ONLY way to recover. It worked for me in conjuction w/MWO.

Mary

PS: Feel free to ask any other questions. There are people on this thread that can answer based on their own experiences w/AA.

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

SDuck

I also live in a very small community, so I too was very scared about seeing people I know in AA. I found a strange comfort in seeing people that I know in there. I did not expect that to happen. Guess I feel more comfortable and not so peculiar when I see others that I have always seen as "normal" also fighting this disease.

I have been going to AA for two months now and have already seen so many positive changes in myself and my life. Just like others here I was absolutely sure AA was not for me even though I had no idea what AA was. Guess I thought I knew enough to know I didn't belong. I had been lurking on this thread for several months and was noticing that the folks posting here had something different about them. I couldn't really put my finger on exactly what that was, but I could sense peace, honesty, and responsibility ; qualities that I had long ago disposed of.

Like others, going for the first time was so scary, but I soon found out that there was nothing to fear in there. There is only one group in this town, but we are so fortunate to have so many very caring people there. There are several with long-term sobriety, so that really helps us newcomers.

I am not one who reaches out to others very easily, but I have found this experience unlike any other and am very grateful to have others there to help and support my recovery.

I have heard the expression "stick with the winners" alot, and I think that the people who share here at MWO are those winners.

Have a Happy Easter!!!!!!

HG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Hi everyone! Spud, I had lots of the same concerns you did before going to AA. I find it sort of ironic now, when I look back. There I was in poor health and even poorer spirit, seriously considering suicide and seeing no point in life, and no way to stop drinking. Before finding MWO (which I did before I ever considered AA) I was completely "on my own" with my alcoholism. And the best I could do to solve this problem by myself was....well, I literally couldn't even go a whole day without alcohol. But AA wasn't for me! What???? My thinking was seriously messed up. :H

Anyway...

Like HG said, I started seeing some folks around here who had something that I wanted. They seemed to be growing and maturing as people. They seemed to be far more contented in sobriety than I was. I relapsed after my first 60 days AF and really really struggled to get back on the wagon. When I finally did, I was STILL irrationally afraid of relapse every day even at 8 months AF. That's when I finally decided to give AA a whirl even though I knew it wasn't for me. I too wanted nothing to do with religion. Or "those people." Or a long term program where I kept hearing that people were still going there after 20 years sober and stuff like that. Oh - my husband and I have a local business and I did NOT want anyone to see me, or the vehicle I drive which is emblazoned with advertising for our business at the Alano Club. I was sick to my stomach thinking about seeing anyone I knew at a meeting or anyone from AA somewhere else. (I should have just said "ditto Mary's list!" :H)

Anyway...I'm so very glad I went. On a day by day basis, I seem to have that contented sobriety that I longed for. I used to think I was in charge of my own destiny. I am learning that while there is a LOT that I am responsible for, there is also a lot that is well outside of my control. One of the greatest gifts I have recieved from the AA program is understanding how to deal with the world around me through an understanding of what I CAN control, and doing the right thing with that. And....finding a way to deal with the many many things that are outside of my control that used to frustrate the snot out of me.

Anway...if you are willing to go to any length to get sober, what have you got to lose?

Todays meeting was awesome. A guy that started coming to AA about 10 months ago chaired his first meeting. I really admire him because not only does he deal with alcohol and other drug addiction, but also has some pretty serious mental issues that require medication, and apparently some pretty close monitoring to keep him stable. He was a mess when he first came around. He is really a nice and good hearted person and I'm sure in the "using" community he was rediculed and taken advantage of. (well, I know he was because he's talked about it quite a bit) It just warmed my heart to see him doing so well that he is able to chair a meeting! He was really nervous but of course he had a lot of support from the group and he did a great job.

Another guy who has really struggled and relapsed many times over the years has been back for a few months. He seems very determined this time and it was also a joy to hear him talk and just realize how much growing he has already done.

Another girl (the one who is afraid to ask me to be her sponsor :H) will be 90 days sober tomorrow. She is the one who is a bar tender so she works many hours on the weekend. She just texted me that she will be picking up her coin on Monday. I'm really happy for her too!

Funny - I was thinking that watching people grow is like watching flowers bloom. How appropriate for April.

I feel so incredibly blessed to be this happy. Thinking back to my lowest point - it's so hard to believe. Grateful doesn't seem like a big enough word.

Phil - so glad to hear you got to spend the week at home! I bet that was nice.

Mary and HG - I loved both of your posts!

All of you here are blooming too!

DG

[spuddleduck]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

thanks for your replies to my concerns. it gives me something to think about. im still unsure but as it took me a heck of a long time to start addressing my problem so im not expecting to make decisions in an instant. thanks again.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Good morning all! I was just looking at the Daily Recovery Readings and came across this one, which I found thought provoking:

Walk in Dry Places

More will be revealed
Spiritual Growth
There's an old saying, "To him that hath, more shall be given." That saying applies to our growth in AA. If we dedicate ourselves to the program, new information and understanding will continue to flow in our direction.
This is not because God is singling us out for special favors. It's simply a law of life. When we are interested in a subject, we find more knowledge coming to us almost "Out of the blue" as we continue to seek it. It's almost as if hidden forces were gathering up ideas and pushing them in our direction.
What's happened is that we have put ourselves in line for such growth. We have our antennae out, and we become conditioned to recognize useful ideas as they come to us. We are Open-Minded to our good.
This same process has also led to more general knowledge about alcoholism. When the early AA's attained sobriety, most of the information about alcoholism was summed up in a handful of books. Now there are hundreds of books, symposia, and speeches dealing with the subject. More was revealed, and we can hope that even more will be revealed as we continue to focus on recovery.
I can expect useful information to come to me from a number of sources. My interest in my recovery and self-improvement helps attract the information and understanding I need.

I feel that in AA, I have at least opened my mind to the possibility of a more spiritual path, and the ideas and information started flowing. I am nowhere near a "complete" understanding of exactly what I believe. But the more open and interested I have become, the more information seems to find me. (i.e. the Buddhism CD's at the library!) I think this concept applies on several fronts in my life right now. For that I am grateful!

I will be heading to the Big Book study this AM. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends. One of my home groups is putting forth the speakers during April for the Saturday Night open speaker meeting. So I'm also planning on going tonight in show of support for one of my friends who will be the speaker. It feels good and right to do these things. At first, all I could think about was my self centered reasons for not wanting to commit to anything. My life is getting richer and richer the more I get out of my self centered junk, and think of others.

Have a great day one and all!

DG

[Chillgirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Hi Gang
I just wanted to share this with you:-
Last night, out with girlfriends who were all drinking and to be honest I didnt really enjoy the evening but I guess i keep trying to carry on with my previous life even though I dont drink.

Tonight - I went to the early evening AA meeting, there was cake to celebrate a two year anniversary for a world famous musician who was giving the talk. He is a wonderful guy who was reminding me of the days when we drank champagne together and he was so happy I have finally found sobriety. It sounds totally crazy but I had more fun there than I had last night with my girlfriends!

Being sober is a constant learning curve and I love my girlfriends to bits but I will not be repeating a friday night out with them. From now on we do lunch or coffee, go cinema or a bike ride but I have to face up to the fact my life is different now and that ok....

I had been feeling down all day today thinking I no longer fitted in, now I feel great! Of course I fit in... just to a slightly different and definately better world.

Im very grateful to be AF and to be part of this wonderful site which keeps we sane.....
:imglad:

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Chillgirll, way to go!
You seem on a good path.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Chill, I think it's an important corner to turn when we start enjoying sober activities more than we *think* we would enjoy drinking activities. Or whatever is the right way to describe that twisted thinking...I hope you know what I'm trying to get at. I think you will find that if your girlfriends are really just "normies" who sometimes like to drink a bunch of champaign, but also have a balanced normie kind of life, then they will be more than happy to do other things like bike or movies or lunch or whatever. It's people like ME (in my old alkie self) who never wanted to do ANYTHING unless it involved drinking. The rest of the world isn't like that with booze.

Another bit of food for thought. For each one of us newly sober folks at MWO who spend a little bit of time "longing" to fit in with our drinking friends, I bet there are 50 more people who are struggling to get AF here at MWO and long to be AF like we are. I hope and pray for each and every one of those people here to find their AF way. In the mean time, I would MUCH MUCH rather be on this side of things looking back on occassion, than still being a prisoner inside the bottle looking out.

Phil, it's good to see you as always! I hope the family stuff is coming along OK.

Todays big book study was awesome. We read "Listening to the Wind" which is the 4th story in the 3rd section of stories in the Big Book. This woman was lucky to survive a life of prostitution and horrid, horrid drinking. Thank God I've never felt I had to sell my body to survive. But as always, there is much in the story I can identify with. There is a time when she lives an "upstanding" life by day - providing a good home and education, etc. for her son. Then by night she drives to a neighboring town to prostitute in order to pay for it all. "Super Mom" by day, and "Drunk Prostitute" by night. She speaks of living that lie and how torturous it was. I was living like that in my corporate life. "Super Executive" by day and "Insecure Drunk" by night. And like this woman, I finally reached a point where I couldn't stand myself any more and wanted to just die.

This woman was a Native American and her recovery story speaks of her connection with the spiritual roots of her ancestors. It turns out that one of the men in this meeting is Native American on one side of his family, and he too has done some things to connect with his spiritual roots. I always find it interesting the ways that some of the men can relate to the stories of women.

There were lots of people at the meeting today and it was like "old home week" after the meeting just catching up with everyone. I treasure the sober friends I have made in AA. These are really terrific people. And there was a time for all of them where they were liars, etc. - all the bad stuff that AL brings out in us. Maybe there is hope for me to be a better person and lead a more fulfilling life.

DG

[Chillgirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

DG - Thanks for giving me a different angle to see this from, you are so so right that Im incredibly grateful to be on this side of sobriety and its the most important thing in my life.
I have learnt a big lesson today and luckily my girlfriends are ones who i can do other things with other than drink. I will now accept that when drinking is on the agenda I dont want to be around....

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - 3/29 - 4/4

Hi all! Went to the speaker meeting last night to hear my friend speak. After he finished sharing his story, and we were about to wrap up the time for comments afterwards, his wife raised her hand. She brought tears to my eyes (and many other eyes) as she thanked him for getting sober, and expressed that she had always believed he could, and that she has faith he will remain sober. He celebrating his one year anni just a couple of months ago. Prior to that, he was so bad that there were occassions where he wet their bed he was so drunk. I can't even imagine the horrors this woman lived with. Today they seem like such a happy and connected couple. Miracles really do happen. I was so glad I went!

I also went to my usual 12&12 meeting this morning. There was a large turnout today. We discussed Tradition 1 - the imortance of AA unity. As I become more connected within AA I appreciate this tradition more and more. Based on the comments around the table, I ended up reflecting up on a couple of things.

I really couldn't quit drinking all alone. Before coming to MWO, I would promise myself I wouldn't drink that day, and sometimes was drinking within an hour of getting out of bed! (or less than an hour). I was so hopeless I was consdering killing myself. That's where "going it alone" with AL got me.

I was also thinking about how wounded and ill equipped I was to handle any sort of social life without AL. I did EVERYTHING with a drink in my hand for so long that it really has been quite a journey learning how to get out there "among the people" again.

Even last summer I didn't fully participate in all the summer activities. I chose to stay home by myself rather than go on the canoe trip and several of the picnics. I didn't realize how much I was still isolating back then until the canoe trip came up at a meeting earlier this week. That group is planning to host one again, and this time I got excited about signing up for it without even thinking about it. I realized I've been growing in ways I didn't even know. I think I will be doing some new things this summer!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Easter safe and happy and sober.

DG