Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

[Doggygirl]

Hi all! Hard to believe it's almost mid-April. Where is the time flying to???

To any newcomers, this weekly AA thread is not only for those who have decided to attend AA meetings. It's for anyone interested in anything we are talking about. It's also a great place to ask questions you might have about AA and what it's like. The more fellow travelers, the merrier.

Link to Daily Recovery Readings

Link to Big Book Online

I had my usual business stuff this morning so did not get to go to my favorite AM meeting. So you all are my meeting for today! I really like the Daily Reflections reading for today:

Daily Reflections

A WORD TO DROP: "BLAME"

To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We
could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves.
First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even
though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other
people were concerned, we had to drop the word "blame" from our
speech and thought.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47

When I did my Fourth Step, following the Big Book guidelines, I
noticed that my grudge list was filled with my prejudices and my
blaming others for my not being able to succeed and to live up to my
potential. I also discovered I felt different because I was black. As I
continued to work on the Step, I learned that I always had drunk to rid
myself of those feelings. It was only when I sobered up and worked on
my inventory, that I could no longer blame anyone.

Doing the 4th step was quite an experience. I had NEVER before looked at situations purely to assess my own part in things. I always looked to place blame for any problems on someone else - often by trying to shine a light on how they were somehow worse than me - so that justified my own bad behavior. If I got drunk and had an argument with my husband, I never wanted to look at my own behavior (getting drunk) as the problem. I wanted to look at something HE said or did as the problem.

What the AA program is teaching me to do is examine my OWN behavior against a new standard I am trying to live by, regardless of what anyone else does. Have I done the right thing? Do I have any amends to make? Am I compassionate towards others knowing that we all make mistakes? Am I taking responsibility for myself?

Today I will hold myself to a decent standard. I won't be perfect but I will do my best to treat others with respect and compassion no matter what they do. I can only accomplish this with my wits about me which means I won't drink today either.

Thanks to all of you for being here for me today.

DG

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Good Day All!!!

Thanks for starting us out this week, DG.

I also loved this daily reading, even though it stepped on my toes, big time.

I am currently doing my 4th step, and am finding I have to take items off of others people's inventory lists that I have mentally made for them and transfer them to my list. Somewhat painful process, but I am beginning to see the connection between my attitudes and my drinking.

Still so very glad to be attending AA. On the outside, not much has changed but in a little over two months of going to AA, my inside has changed bunches. I hadn't realized how negative and angry I had become. Probably would have never seen that on my own. Funny as it seems to me I feel better just knowing how much a part I have played in my own misery. Maybe it feels better because I can see that there are possible solutions available to me now.

At last nights meeting they celebrated members with 1 yr , 10 yrs, and 27 yrs. I feel very lucky to have such a diverse group with different levels of sobriety. They each have a very unique insight into recovery at their various stages. I feel a real sense of belonging there that I have never been able to attain before.

I am so grateful for all of your sharing to open my mind up to this option. Feeling very hopeful and peaceful about the future.

Have a super week all.

Horsegirl

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Ah HG. I can relate so much to all you are saying. I too love being with people I have SO much in common with, and at all stages of recovery.

Looking back on steps 4&5, I see them as very freeing. Learning to examine my own role in my problems was difficult at first, but now I can see how I wasn't a *victim* and don't have to be a *victom* in the future. I am responsible. I can learn from my past mistakes and create a better future.

When people ask "how do you get rid of the remorse and the guilt?" I have a hard time trying to summarize how the Steps help. But they do. I can't explain how or why it works, I just know that for me, it does. I'm so glad it is working for you too!

DG

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

good morning all,always interesting to see the progress people make,i did my 1st 4th step in,1999,with my sponsor,he had 27 years sobriety at that time,i was rushing he said,patience is a virtue,another friend , sponsor said,slow down,AA is not like dying,it is new life,thinking back,in more ways then one,2008, i did my 2nd 4th step,this one was in treatment,over those 10 years,i stopped and started many times,,a house needs foundation,one has to find foundation,stable ground,without it,the walls will crumble,what ive lerned at MWO,is the old saying,there is more then one way to skin a cat,it will be interesting to see you folks grow over the years,as for the reading,it is easy as addicted minded people to put blame on everything else ,but ones self,and AA does teach you,the program is a we program,but it is also an I program, without I,we would not work,darn i hope it makes sense thanx folks hahaha gyco

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Hi Everyone

DG Thanks for starting of the thread, I have saved the Daily Recovery reading on my favorites so i can read it again.
I been going AA for nearly three months and i realise everyone is different. I went to a meeting last night for the first time i really felt relaxed and it felt good i bought a book there the big blue book, i ask one of the ladies there that i know, what would be the best book i should get next i was thinking of the 12steps book or bill story but she said if i was you i get the big blue book, i trust her, she also said dont read it all at once just read 4 or 5pages a day. That sounds good me. ( also she said the Daily Reflectionsis a good one to read each day in the morning)
I also know that i will not be doing my steps straight away. I know i need to do this very slowly and it will all fall in place all in good time, easy does it. When this guy did his chair last night , i love it when you can relate to bits a pieces, what stuck out for me 2 things, he was saying when he stop drinking in february last year i think, he was worried about xmas how he was going to get through xmas without drinking.......Well thats me, that what i have been thinking of the other day and i have months ahead b4 i get to xmas. If i was honest with myself i think im still in that 'Deprivation mode', and i really want to get in to the 'Gratitude mode'. The 2rd think he said about courage, how you dont have to be brave or not being afraid to have courage.....COURAGE is about having fear inside you thats courage. Now that really made sense to me.
I was talking to one of the guys i know from my saturday meetings and i was saying iam 3months now and how i feel inside, he was saying when he first started AA he was 3months sober and it took him a long time ti speak and that inside feeling does get better.

I have really enjoyed reading through both your post looking forward to the next post.

Have a lovely Beauitful Day everyone.:h

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Gyco i love reading through your post, foundation that me right now where i am. Thank you !

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

i am glad your ok within yourself catch me to for the 1st time in many years,i beleive theres different degrees of alchohlism,and now i have nothing but time to research it,most of all ive found here,and AA,to accept others opinions,that is all it is,the individual has to accept what is rt for them,life is a new journey every day,gyco

[gyco]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

off to do som shoppin later

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Morning All !!!!

Thanks so much Gyco for the advice about patience. I do find myself wanting to hurry up and heal, but you are so right about building a foundation, and that does take time.

Also appreciated your input, Catch on gratitude and courage. I try to remind myself each day how grateful I am for all that I have. I also pray each day for the courage to face all these changes.

Have a super AF day!!!!!!!

HG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Hi Everyone: I'm back from vacation...visiting my son & his kids. We had a wonderful, sober time. Absolutely none of us took a drink nor did we miss it at all. We enjoyed each other a lot, & when we had issues, we settled them. It's a pretty simple formula. I can't imagine why I was so afraid of it. By the way, I didn't get to an AA meeting while I was there, so I'm really looking forward to my regular ones that I love.

My husband & I have been thinking about taking a trip to Bill W's home in Vermont. It's not terribly far from us. I've heard it's a very special & spiritual place. One of my AA friends went, & later in the evening went to the meeting Bill W regularly attended.

Take care one & all. I'm happy to say that I'm doing fine, though I'm glad we're on month 4, because the readings will be on Step 4. I've pretty much gone through life feeling like:
-everything had to go my way or I couldn't be happy.
-other people needed to meet my expectations.

I'll be back.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Mary - welcome back! It sounds like you had a great trip. Family dealings are just light years different and better sober, aren't they? They idea to go to Bill W's sounds fabulous. If you go, I will be looking forward to hearing about it!

I too am enjoying all the Step 4 related readings and discussions this month. I hears something interesting yesterday during a discussion about resentments.

Expectations are premeditated resentments.

Boy that really hit home for me. I would set up future scenarios in my head, and of course they never went exactly as planned. And I ended up with resentments over it. Most of the time, the people I had "plans" for (i.e. Mr. Doggy) didn't even know what these expectations were! What a set up....

I'm off to pick up sister for a blood test appointment. Then we will go to a meeting. I am glad to be helping her as getting out of myself and my own little world is very good and balancing for me.

Have a wonderful day one and all!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

DG: In meetings I've heard something similar about expectations: "Expectations are disappointments waiting to happen." Isn't that so true! Instead of letting life flow & just accepting that what is happening is for my benfit, I set myself up for disappointment by expecting others to live according to my specifications...& yes, my loved ones are my usual victims. Today I will let life flow according to its own plan. I don't have to get involved in all the machinations...control freak that I am.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Mary your comment about letting life flow reminds me of the saying to wear the world like a loose garment. LOL - one of the guys at the meeting today said hes' been trying to wear the world like a loose garment, but some days it feels like spandex pants. :H:H (I did not ask how he knows about spandex pants)

I love the 24-Hours a Day reading today about "calm."

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Terrible things could have happened to any one of us. We
never will know what might have happened to us when we
were drunk. We usually thought: "That couldn't happen to
me." But any one of us could have killed somebody or have
been killed ourselves, if we were drunk enough. But fear
of these things never kept us from drinking. Do I believe
that in A.A. we have something more effective than fear?

Meditation For The Day

I must keep calm and unmoved in the vicissitudes of life.
I must go back into the silence of communion with God to
recover this calm when it is lost even for one moment. I
will accomplish more by this calmness than by all the
activities of a long day. At all cost I will keep calm.
I can solve nothing when I am agitated. I should keep
away from things that are upsetting emotionally. I should
run on an even keel and not get tipped over by emotional
upsets. I should seek for things that are calm and good
and true and stick to those things.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not argue nor contend, but merely state
calmly what I believe to be true. I pray that I may keep
myself in that state of calmness that comes from faith in
God's purpose for the world.

I can solve nothing when I'm agitated. AMEN. And I was constantly agitated when I was drinking. My life is pretty good when I can stay sober and when I can stay in that calm zone.

We talked a lot at todays meeting about drinking and driving. I used to say (and think) that I was pretty responsible on that front. When I really think back honestly, all I can say is I am SO very lucky that I never killed myself or anyone else. I drank and drove zillions of times. Blurry lines in the road. Fuzzy memories of how I got home. Looking in the garage to see if my car was there, and in one piece. Responsible??????? Who was I kidding. But for the grace of God....

DG

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

Hi everyone,
Good to see you back mary I must remember not to put much expectations on myself like you said it can be soooo disappointing and it is so true.i dont have a goal lists no more. It like today trying to do the housework i will start on one thing and not finish it and start on something else then i wonder why everything is in a mess. This is just a small example. I need to remember one thing at a time not to do too many things at once.....
DG I always said to myself i never drink and drive, but drinking everyday and waking up in the morning and getting in the car is just as bad.

This guy yesterday at my group meeting said his got lots of AA books if i want them, he doesn't need them no more. so i have to remember to read one book at a time.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.:l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - April 12 - 18

DG: I liked those readings. I'm going to reread them when I have more time. I liked the "loose garment" saying. I'm putting that into my little notebook. I don't have to bend every little thing to my will. That takes a whole lot of energy that I could be putting into my spiritual growth. Mary