Good Monday Morning Abbers
Sorry if there are any punctuation problems with my post; my keyboard is misbehaving. This will put a real crimp in my style, as you know how I love my exclamation points. That key is only working sometimes.
At any rate, Mike and I will be sharing Mayoral duties this week, so that he can have a bit of a rest. After only 5 days of abs, I mean sobs, :H , I?m feeling pretty good. I?m glad my last slip was just a short one. It was easier climbing back on the wagon this time, and it felt so worth it to just get back on and stop sulking and wallowing! Yay, my exclamation point worked!!!
At any rate, I?ve been thinking about how I came to MWO. I had been thinking about stopping drinking for a long time--a couple of years, actually--waking up many nights in a sweat thinking, ?God, you?ve gotta quit, you?re going to kill yourself with drinking,? but I had never really made a big organized effort to do so before MWO. I was filled with fear and felt helpless to challenge that fear. I had gone to AA a number of times, but I don?t do very well in groups. I had managed to not drink for a day or two, but always caved in. I had even been on topamax before finding MWO, because I have a very enlightened psychiatrist who actually suggested it, but unfortunately, I was taking my topa AFTER I finished drinking at night, so it wasn?t doing me much good. Neither of us knew the proper dosing schedule and how to use it to the best advantage.
At any rate, since finding MWO last December, I have still thought an awful lot about drinking, but hope has replaced despair. Yes, I have had my moments of despair, but it hasn?t been chronic. I?ve tried moderation, and I wouldn?t exactly say I?ve had stellar success with that. But I sure did learn a lot. (Damn, where?s my exclamation point when I need it?) Over time, I have become more committed to a sober life and more hopeful that I can achieve it. Last December, I started to have hope. Over time, that hope has become more stable and more solid. I can feel it in my bones. I?m not saying I?ll never slip. Heck, I just slipped last week, once again. But I am saying that I don?t envision myself going back to the person that I was last year at this time. I can see myself evolving and growing through all of this. It has been quite a process. I don?t want to sound overconfident; my many slips are ample evidence of how tricky this whole process is. Nevertheless, my experience with sobriety has opened the door to a whole new world. Last year, I was afraid I would never have access to this new world. Now I have hope.
Hope is our topic for today. Tell us about hope. The hope you have, the hope you have a hard time having. What ever you think or feel about hope and sobriety.
Love to all,
Your Honorable (and rather silly and enjoying it too {exclamation point})
Young At Heart:l
Sorry if there are any punctuation problems with my post; my keyboard is misbehaving. This will put a real crimp in my style, as you know how I love my exclamation points. That key is only working sometimes.
At any rate, Mike and I will be sharing Mayoral duties this week, so that he can have a bit of a rest. After only 5 days of abs, I mean sobs, :H , I?m feeling pretty good. I?m glad my last slip was just a short one. It was easier climbing back on the wagon this time, and it felt so worth it to just get back on and stop sulking and wallowing! Yay, my exclamation point worked!!!
At any rate, I?ve been thinking about how I came to MWO. I had been thinking about stopping drinking for a long time--a couple of years, actually--waking up many nights in a sweat thinking, ?God, you?ve gotta quit, you?re going to kill yourself with drinking,? but I had never really made a big organized effort to do so before MWO. I was filled with fear and felt helpless to challenge that fear. I had gone to AA a number of times, but I don?t do very well in groups. I had managed to not drink for a day or two, but always caved in. I had even been on topamax before finding MWO, because I have a very enlightened psychiatrist who actually suggested it, but unfortunately, I was taking my topa AFTER I finished drinking at night, so it wasn?t doing me much good. Neither of us knew the proper dosing schedule and how to use it to the best advantage.
At any rate, since finding MWO last December, I have still thought an awful lot about drinking, but hope has replaced despair. Yes, I have had my moments of despair, but it hasn?t been chronic. I?ve tried moderation, and I wouldn?t exactly say I?ve had stellar success with that. But I sure did learn a lot. (Damn, where?s my exclamation point when I need it?) Over time, I have become more committed to a sober life and more hopeful that I can achieve it. Last December, I started to have hope. Over time, that hope has become more stable and more solid. I can feel it in my bones. I?m not saying I?ll never slip. Heck, I just slipped last week, once again. But I am saying that I don?t envision myself going back to the person that I was last year at this time. I can see myself evolving and growing through all of this. It has been quite a process. I don?t want to sound overconfident; my many slips are ample evidence of how tricky this whole process is. Nevertheless, my experience with sobriety has opened the door to a whole new world. Last year, I was afraid I would never have access to this new world. Now I have hope.
Hope is our topic for today. Tell us about hope. The hope you have, the hope you have a hard time having. What ever you think or feel about hope and sobriety.
Love to all,
Your Honorable (and rather silly and enjoying it too {exclamation point})
Young At Heart:l
eace:
) and keeping a positive attitude about it:
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