AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

[Stargazerlily]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Good morning all.

I am confused Pan, why would Lav changing her locks put her in trouble with the law? He left. I would not want someone being able to go in and out of my house at will. That is why I would get a lawyer right away. I am angry for Lav, and want her not hurt and safe. If you are going to leave and threaten to divorce, it is serious. The in and out stuff would not work with me. That is why lawyering up and taking control would change his power trip. I know, easy to say, hard to do.

I had a serious craving last night but made it through. It started about 4:30 at work, and continued after work. I actually drove around for a time, talked on the phone and asked someone for support. I was told, "don't get the wine." I am so happy to say I DID NOT GET THE WINE. Once home, I ate something, then immediately felt better. The rest of the evening was relaxing.

I asked for support.
I ate something.
I thought it through, how I would feel after consuming the wine. It is to the point that it is never fun anymore. As soon as the booze is gone, I am sick. Really sick. What triggered me? Worrying about a family member. Not having a solution. It is driving me crazy. Then, when the witching hour hits, BAM. I am really going to focus on the serenity prayer today.

God, grant me the serenity to change the things I can, courage to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. Serenity, courage, wisdom. I need these things. Have a great day. IT's FRIDAY!!!

[Chillgirl]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Redstar - I dont know how long you are AF but they way I see it is as AL was such a huge part of my whole adult life it would be strange for it not to pop into my head. Even if we had a not particularly nice person in our lives for 30 years, once they were gone we would still have thoughts about them. Yesterday I was putting together some slideshows to music for some friends featuring lots of happy moments we had spent together, almost every photo had wine glasses and bottles in it. It was hard for me because so many of these times were genuinely happy joyous events in my life. I felt a huge amount of nostalgia and sadness knowing I cant repeat these types of senarios. But you know what....... what I have before me AF is even better and like all memories they cant be taken away from us. You did all the right things and got through that witching time, be proud of yourself YOU DID NOT GET THE WINE! YIPEEE.........!:wd:

Lav - deep breathes and keep busy, lets think of some more T shirt slogans!

:

[dill]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Good morning all!

Red, you did well. I bet you felt good going to bed sober last night. I know I took a moment before bed and thought about what a gift it is to go to bed sober and clear-headed. Sometimes it is hard to get to that point in the day. But what a victory!!

Chill, I can relate to what you are saying about the photos. I see wine in so many old photos, too. And then I see some in the recent past where there is no wine in my hand, but I look slightly wasted. That's when I started having the real problems, knew it and tried to hide it. That sparkling water can in my hand may have been quite something else. Sad. I wonder if I was fooling anyone on those occasions. Anyone besides myself, that is.

Lav, I wish I knew what to tell you to do. I do think you need to get with a lawyer. I also think counselling would be a good idea. You need support. We have your back here on the thread!

Have a great AF day, one and all!

[Lavande]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Hi April friends,

I'm OK, pissed off at this point but OK!
I now have the name & phone number of a good (female) lawyer to contact, thanks to my daughter!! The lawyer is a client of hers & I trust my daughter's judgment. So, I will see what, if anything happens over then weekend then make a decision to call or not next week.

Got in the car & took off to Walmart today which is a hike from here. Picked up some dodads for the house & a new pair of walking shoes for me. I need to walk off some of this hostility Met my son for lunch who was very kind but typically a man of few words. We just talked about everything else.

I feel very supported by all my friends here & I am grateful! My real life friends have no idea what's going on - they are all too busy to talk or respond to emails.........
I will be OK, just have a lot of adjustments to make in the months ahead.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy evening, hope you all had a good day
Lav

[momof3]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Stargazerlily, Congratulations and good for you. You thought it out before you acted meaning that you have the tools that you need to stay AF. Each time you do this, it is like putting money in the bank. You are making deposits that will build your confidence in yourself that you can live a meaningful AF life.

Lav, I would recommend consulting with a lawyer regardless of what happens and the sooner the better. She can let you know what to do/not do; how to protect yourself, etc. I've been through this so many times with friends. I know it varies state by state but he is at a disadvantage given that he left you.

[sooty]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

hello and good morning folks. sorry I didn't get on much yesterday, I actually got Mr S to take me to a friends house and we sat in her garden drinking coffee and chatting but boy was I tired when i got back!
Anyway I'm going out again today, coffee with some other friends who are passing thru and I'm going to a beach cafe where I can sit outside in the sunshine (i hope) and keep my glasses on so that people can't see my horrible black eyes!
Lav I dont know anything about your system but I guess it can't do any harm to talk to a lawyer - just to see how the land lies etc. you don't have to commit yourself to anything
Have a good day all
love Sooty

[Guest]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Just logged on. Star, will read, but in Australia it is against the law.

[Guest]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

I was just throwing it out there. You have to be aware of things.

[Guest]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Lavande;842175 wrote: Hi April friends,
I feel very supported by all my friends here & I am grateful! My real life friends have no idea what's going on - they are all too busy to talk or respond to emails.........

Lav, they have no idea. They would be horrified to know they were not there for you.

[Guest]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Call your friends if you want them to know. Friends can be so supportive. I had no idea my firend's husband of over 30 years had been beating her. I didn't see her any differently. She needed support. The guy was a bastard. We all knew it.

[Guest]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

I am so sorry I am not in your timezone.

[rustop61]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Hi everyone

Just a very quick check in. I am on the hotel computer so cant stay long. Just wanted to wish everyone and happy and sober week-end.

Rustop

[mandalay]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Hi everyone

I've been missing for weeks - pressure of work and all manner of equally boring things, and today is the first day for absolutely ages that I have even checked in on the board. Lav, I am so horrified to hear your news. I do hope you find courage to stand up to the hard times ahead - I am sure you will, and I am praying for you. Sooty - oh no! Very sorry to hear you have hurt yourself - hope you soon feel better.

It was lovely to see everyone here and to catch up albeit quickly. Even though I hardly have a chance to get on here these days it's great to know I have friends here who understand me. Still AF thank Heavens, what a relief it was to find this board when I was in such a pickle.

Take care everyone

Mandalay

[sooty]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

hello all, Mandalay, rustop, great to see you. Hope we're all doing ok today. Miserable grey day here but not cold and the sun is promised to come back tomorrow.
I've been to the library and done a bit of shopping - I'm mainly wearing my sunglasses when I'm out cos the bruising is still there, but thankfully fading at last.
Have a relaxing sunday all.
Lav are you ok?
love Sooty

[dill]

AF APRIL 2010 - WEEK 4

Hi Sooty, are you feeling better? I hope so. Lav, are you doing OK?
Hi Mandalay, glad you are doing so well.
Very quiet here lately. I guess everyone is busy in this beautiful Spring weather.

Today I really ought to go shopping for new sandals but I really have and aversion to shopping. It's a necessary evil.