Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

[spuddleduck]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

hi, ive thought about it and i dont think AA meetings are for me. but i just want to let you guys know i really enjoy reading on this thread. thanks

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Cindi, I'm a drunk too. I used to get all worked up over "labels." I was OK calling myself a "problem drinker" but "alcoholic?" "Alkie?" "Drunk????" NO! Today I realize that "what I call it" doesn't matter. It's what I DO about it that matters. Don't drink. So I'm happy to be a drunk so long as I stay a sober drunk.

Phil, I'm so happy for you that you put the beer back down and went to a meeting instead. I can't imagine how difficult these EOL issues must be for you - I am NOT looking forward to dealing with it when my time comes for that. I'm so glad you are staying sober for you, and so glad that you are sharing with us so we all know we can do it too. Another 24 hours indeed. It took me a LOOONG time to grasp the one day at a time concept. I'm grateful I finally got it.

Catch, I love the text that you shared. I look forward to more! This guy sharing stuff with you has some great stuff! I think I have seen the "I am your disease" one. But I don't believe I have seen "The feeling wheel" so I hope you will share that when you have time! I think it's great how everyone gets a chance to speak and that the vast majority of the time, everyone is very respectful around the tables. I have learned some manners. :H

WF, Wow the last year has really flown by hasn't it! I am looking forward to sharing in your 1 year sober celebration. I hope you will tell us all the details when you pick up that coin!

Hi Mary!

Hi Spud! Glad you know you find some of the discussion interesting.

As I've said many times (so I hope I'm not boring you all to death!) I would not wish a relapse on anyone. But when it happens, I'm grateful to hear about it because I NEED to hear every gory detail. I need to hear that it doesn't matter how long I'm sober, I'm not "fixed." I need to hear that in short order, I'll be right back where I started and then some. I need to hear how painful that experience of drinking is for an alcoholic - no matter how little or lot of time it's been since the last drink. I need to hear just how sneaky that little AL voice is - and how that voice just quietly takes hold.

The story of relapse I heard today was after 16 years of sobriety. This guy confirmed that it was not worth it. He also confirmed that straying away from a solid daily program of sobriety was the start of the wrong thinking which led to the drinking. Just confirms that I do not ever want to get lazy about working my plan thinking I don't need to work that hard. NOTHING about my daily sobriety plan is half as hard as being an active drunk used to be. In the end I was barely functioning. So if I ever start complaining that it's too much time / effort to go to meetings, to check in here, to be of service to others, etc. then somebody please slap me quick. :b&d:

Hearing this guys story of relapse in the meeting got me thinking back to my own relapse early on in sobriety and how very difficult it was for me to get back on the wagon. I also reflected on the stinkin' thinkin' that kept me full of justifications for continued drinking, despite the bad consequences and horrible self image. I DO NOT WANT THAT EVER AGAIN. I am willing to go to any length to stay sober.

I am so grateful to be sober today. Today is 23 months for me....getting close to the two year mark. I know I should probably not be excited, but I'm excited.

Hope everyone is happy and sober today. Or at least sober today.

DG

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Hi Everyone...
well done Cpn1004, got to say meetings do help a lot even when I dont know it and even when i walk out of my AA meetings feeling a bit down, it still keeps me on the right path.
Spuddleduck...feel free to join in anytime you want to you dont have to be part of AA.
DG.... you never bore me to death ! i really need to be reminded when i see some people at my group sessions how sad they are it like looking in a mirror, and i feel so grateful for where i am at this moment ot time. One thing is someone said at AA and i thing i would feel the same way if you dont feel strong enough. If your at AA meeting and there is a lot of people that have been drinking and you can smell it and you know in yourself you need to get out of the situation (in a dangerous situation) because you need to think of number one yourself....

The Feeling wheel ,,,,this is something that you would do at a one to one sessions i think, but this was given to this person at re-hab ( doing AA)
It looks like a dart board to me, there are words on the out side, in the middle and in the centre which i would see as balls eye.
what you do is pick a word how you feel for example and write it down, im going to pick this word today am being honest with you's because its the way i feel so i have picked the word stupid, the word next to stupid in the middle is Ashamed and the word in the centre is sad. Right here goes so what makes me sad is because i feel ashamed of myself because i think im stupid because i feel that when i look back on my post i see my spelling errors, sometimes i correct them because i think people could be laughing at me, or sometimes i miss a word out or do the word back to front. If i was more honest with you guys i think i have always felt like this because my dad always said i coudn't do anything right or you could not do that. So it makes me feel like im not a clever person inside me.
Ok im going to pick another word Irritated, in the middle is hateful and in the balls eye is Mad. This is interesting the reason why i pick this is because there a guy at AA that was at my group sessions anyway he irritates me so he mades me mad sometimes, so im now i suppose that means im hateful againist him. but i dont hate him.
Theres Bewildered, Rejected and scared. Foolish Insecure and scared. Daring, Excited and joyful (like that one) Fascinating sexy and Joyful , ok let you know when i get to that one
Satisfied Aware and Powerful..
OK sorry to go on and on hope i have not bored you all, but i got to say it really does wrok if your honest with youself and makes a lot of sense.
Have a good weekend ALL.x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Everyone: I loved reading this thread! I've been away from the computer, as we've been working on it. Phil, what an incredible inspiration you are. To have put that beer back in the fridge was nothing short of miraculous. I'm sure when you shared about it at a meeting, you MADE that particular meeting. It's stuff like that which really makes a meeting transcend the ordinary.

DG, I too have to hear about relapsing. There have been quite a few in my groups lately. If I don't see someone for a while, I begin to wonder. I KNOW that I can be vulnerable to relapse at any time. I have a good friend w/ 21 yrs who says she's closer to her next drink than the newcomer w/21 hours. I know that, for me, meetings & AA contact is an absolute. I'm leading the discussion meeting tomorrow night, & I've decided on the topic: "Having the willingness to do whatever it takes to get & stay sober." There really isn't anything my sponsor or the long-time AAers have suggested that I wouldn't do to continue in sobriety.

My life has its ups & downs, its disappointments & rewards, but now I know that whatever happens, I can cope wo/resorting to drinking to either "celebrate" or get me through. Yesterday, I had a few challenging situations, but I got through them OK & am the better for it today. To me, that's like proverbial money in the bank. Every single time I push through something difficult, I learn I can do it wo/drinking.

Phil: As you know, my dad died earlier this year. It wasn't easy, but we got through it (w/the help of hospice). My thoughts are w/you. I can only say that I'm so, so grateful I was sober. I was able to help in a way that I NEVER could have had I been drinking (even a little bit). I was able to help in putting together the funeral service & was able to speak at it coherently & w/feeling. That's a gift.

Love, Mary

[Sheepish]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Phil
That is one powerful moment and story.
Wow.
Thank you for sharing.
This is a great thread.
Thank you all
-Sheep the Lurker

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Hi, everyone -

Phil, good for you on getting past that moment, and doing something about it (getting to a meeting ASAP). We all need to remember, sometimes it is just a moment's decision that can change everything. Moments pass. Going off on another bender doesn't just pass on it's own, lasts a lot longer, and we all know it's a lot harder to get back on the wagon than getting by one fleeting moment.

Great posts! Catch, I love your Bill of Rights and the Feeling Wheel! I love how here, just like in a live AA meeting, someone will share something that is just what you needed to hear at this instant. That Bill of Rights says a lot of things I definitely need to remember. So thanks!

I love this thread - it's always got some meat on it! :H

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! :h

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Phil,

Hugs. Bug ones.

You are dealing with life on life's terms.

Not always kind or gentle.

But you are taking it on... sober.

I am incredibly proud for you.

I hope the days to come find your family and yourself solace.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Hi all! I haven't had a lot of posting time but have read the thread and as always, it's great stuff and I loved reading every bit of it! Catch, the Feeling Wheel sounds really interesting. I wonder if googling might turn up a piccy of the wheel? I googled and found this. Is this it Catch? http://cobblpc.com/images/Feeling%20Wheel.jpg

Mary, I love the topic you picked! I really do wish I could be there. Being willing to go to any length is a subject near and dear to me. That's what it has taken for me to get anywhere near contented, continuous sobriety. And contented continuous sobriety is what has opened the door to getting a full and enjoyable life back.

I will be going to big book study this morning, and then spending the afternoon with AA and non AA friends "mary kaying" and then going to AA tonight to support a friend who is speaking. It should be a fun and full day!

Wishing a great sober day to one and all. Strength and hope to anyone struggling today.
DG

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Yes DG that is The Feeling Wheel.... if you try it,it does really help.
I have this week of work so im going to keep myself busy reading and going to meetings, also going to see Bill w video on thursday at my fellow up counselling sessions, didn't know there was a video on him so that will be really interesting to watch. i know the weather is going to be good so im going to be doing some bike riding as well.
Take care ALL.x:h

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Everyone: I just got back from the Burning Desire meeting. Willingness to go to any lengths turned out to be a very good topic. Bottom line: If I want to continue w/my sober life (which I wouldn't trade for anything), I cannot take a drink. Take care one & all.

Phil: A special prayer goes out to you tonight.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Thanks Mary, I really needed it right now!

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Hello all! Phil - special thoughts headed your way from this direction as well. Hang in there.

Mary, Willingness to go to any length really IS a great topic and I would have loved to hear you speak on that. I'm not willing to trade in my new life for a drink either. And that's exactly what I would be doing if I drank.

Catch, sounds like you have some great things lined up to do for your week off! (I'm jealous of your week off!! )

Hello to everyone else.

I have had a great opportunity to reflect on the subject of frienship in the last 24 hours. The only friends (other than my Mom ) who showed up for my Mary Kay event yesterday were my AA friends. At first I was inclined to think my other "friends" were being "bad friends" for not coming and supporting me. Buy why should they? What have I done for them? Very little. The last decade of my drinking life was certainly not a time where I was "giving" to anyone else. I only wanted to do things that suited me, and that always included having the ability to drink how I wanted to all the time. I gave nothing of myself to anyone, really.

I'm grateful that I'm learning how to give of myself as well as recieve friendship. It's a two-way street and I'm grateful to know that as long as I am humble and considerate and giving, I will also have these friends when I need them.

Last night one of my friends was the speaker at the open speaker meeting. After a long day of hosting the get together at my house, I really could have easily dropped into bed after a hot shower. But I am SO GLAD that I went to hear my friend speak and show her the same courtesy and support that she has shown me. She had a great message for me too. She relapsed after 13 years of sobriety. She was sitting on her deck one night, as she had done hundreds of times before, and she noticed a "liquor" sign quite a distance away in a little strip center. She went there and bought 2 airline size little bottles of rum. That was all it took to send her life spiraling out of control. She had great difficulty getting sober again - it took several rehabs and a near death experience before she could get back on track. And she was TRYING not to drink. She was waking up every day and saying "not today" and couldn't do it. That's how I felt after my own relapse. I realized right away that drinking was a huge mistake, but I just couldn't muster it up to get back on track. I just don't know if I could live through that again.

Anyway, 2 of her 3 children are teenagers and were there last night along with her husband to hear her. They had not heard her tell her story before (even though they lived it with her). It was a very emotional experience for them and also for many of us listening. Her daugher decided to speak at the end of the comments and she thanked her Mom for sharing her struggles so honestly. The daughter has decided that given her Mom's history and some other family history of alcoholism, it is too big of a risk for her to try drinking. I was glad to hear her say that. It made me think how great it would be for a young woman to look forward to college and life after that without the risk or baggage that AL brings with him everywhere he goes.

My Sunday morning group is planning our summer picnic which is in June. It was HUGE last year. This is my first year getting more involved in the social activities and it was nice to be part of the first planning meeting. Another club in town got their kitchen inspected and approved for cooking meals, so now they make breakfast every Sunday. Some of us went there. Can't beat a good omlette for $5! It's starting off to be a fabulous day. I'm so grateful to be sober today and building a new life and new friendships.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

DG: What an incredible story your friend told. When I hear about that impulse to drink (even after 13 years) over & over again, I just know that I cannot ever rest on my laurels. Some of the relapsers spoke last night, & it is so difficult to get back sobriety once you've broken it. Some of the AAers were in & out of the program for 30+ years. The amazing part of it is how quickly a person goes back to former levels of drinking. I frequently hear old-timers say: "The farther I am from my last drink, the closer I am from my next drink." It seems as if this time of year (even more than holiday time) is a very vulnerable time. The weather is getting nicer, there are more out-door activities, & the ice cold wine &/or beer looks great. I just have to remember that, for me, it's poison & would ruin everything I've worked so hard for.

I was speaking to my daughter yesterday about her in-laws. They are functional alcoholics, & my daughter (not being one) does not understand the disease. They have to choose to be very detached from the g-kids. Babysitting & family activities take time & energy away from the drinking & recuperation. She doesn't understand why people would choose that kind of isolation. I think she was expecting me to commiserate w/her, but instead I just can't help but feel compassion instead. I've been there.

Anyhow, that's not for me to deal with. I'm just glad I have the clarity to be present for all my loved ones. Until I got sober, I didn't realize how much energy the whole drinking cycle took up.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Hi All: I just got back from my BB meeting. The story was Chapter 16 about the physician who was addicted to both drugs & AL. For me, the most important part came at the end about acceptance. It was a positive & simple message but not easy to do. Whenever we are upset about something, we have some sort of part in it. Even if the other person is acting like a complete jerk, we can still take responsibility for our feelings & for our expectations.

One of the members of my home group (& a new AA friend of ours) got mad at all the "whining" (his interpretation) at one of the meetings. There have been a lot of relapses lately. He spoke up in kind of strong terms about following the principles of the program. I don't think it does any harm to show some "tough love" at times. However, it's not our place to judge other peoples' paths & struggles. Just an observation.

Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread April 19-25

Thank you for sharing about the relapses. Maybe it is spring, but it is definitely a trying time for me at the moment. I have my one yr anniv in a wk, but crazy thoughts in my head.
Had a family dinner here today and initially my husband said we probably needed to get some beer for his son. I could hardly believe it. I told him I couldn't buy the beer, he could and I didn't mind it in the house as long as any leftovers were gone. I cried and told him how I was struggling again with stinkin thinkin. He eventually called his son and the thankful end result was no need for beer. I didn't ask him to do that, but I'm so grateful he did.

Dinner went off without a hitch and it was a good day.

winefree