AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

[LVT25]

Ok, guys. I realize we all lead busy lives, but I for one really hate to see our daily thread die. No thread at all yesterday.

This has been a rough week here at MWO. I really do think that those of us that have some sober time under our belts naturally gravitate away from MWO, and that is understandable. I am concerned however, when none of us are posting here. I hope everyone is handling MaryAnne's death without turning to al. I'm pretty sure this is too much for some to bear alone, and I pray they ask for support and strength. I tend to wonder how many people that have crossed our paths here at one time or another take their lives. I'm no expert, but I do agree with the others that believe it was a lot more than alcoholism that caused Cowgal to do what she did.

I kind of hate to admit it, but I think I for one still need my daily MWO fix to remind me why I want to stay on the sober path. Plus I miss hearing about what you all are up to. Come on friends, take a minute to check in today!

Thank you. And have a good weekend.

[heidiesc]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

I am new to sobriety and to posting, but good morning to you

[Shambles84]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Hi there

Fridays suck! All my friends are looking forward to the weekend n making plans. Unfortunately there plans include alcohol n I'm strong enough atm to kno I can't join them. It would be nice to kno other peoples alcohol free plans to cheer me up:-)

[Horsegirl]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Good Morning LVT !!!

Thanks for starting this thread. I have a hard time thinking of things to post, but I really rely on this thread, the monthly thread, and the AA thread. The imput and wisdom here have been so important to me.

I am having some somewhat confusing emotions regarding MaryAnne. I am feeling somewhat unsettled because earlier in the year I was really struggling with quitting on my own and that was the same time MaryAnne was recovering from her earlier attempt. I had really been following the AA thread and considering AA as a solution. I think MaryAnne's struggles really got my attention about how serious alcoholism is. I do agree, however, that there were most likely other contributing factors involved.

I did make the decision to try AA and am happy to report that it seems to be working in a way that I have never had happen before. I am so grateful for this.

Guess, I feel guilty somehow even though I know I don't really have a logical reason to feel that way. Maybe I feel that I have benefitted from her struggles in some sort of strange way.

Don't know if any of this makes sense, just my thoughts.

Thanks

HG

[Marshy]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

LVT - nice post. I'm going to take a break from MWO for a while. Mary Anne's suicide has highlighted several issues that have been bothering me for a while about the nature of forums, mainly to do with that feeling of being powerless to help but other things too. Difficult to explain, and I don't mean that MWO hasn't been a very important source of support for me, because it has, but it's time for a break.

I'll be happily AF and I know you all will too. Be good!


Welcome heidiesc, shambles & horsegirl. This is a good thread - stick with it!

[momof3]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Thanks for starting this thread LVT. I'm still here and still AF!

I am not a daily poster but do have phases where I am here alot and other times I go away for awhile... mostly because I am living my life. I also feel that my 3D or "real life" is just that, more real. I have become quite fond and connected to so many of you through this forum but it does have its limitations. Cowgal's death made this very salient. Here is a person whom I have know through this site for over 2 years and whom I am grieving for, but on the other hand it seems surreal. So, in short Marshy, I understand where you are coming from.

As for her suicide, I have shared that I lost my fiance to suicide when I was 26 years old (over 20 years ago). I thought I would die from grief but I made it through because of the extreme love and support I received from my friends and family. I have learned over the years that for some, the pain is so great that they see it as their only way out. And, I agree that for Cowgal, alcohol was only one contributing factor.

My only sibling has tried to kill himself several times (most recently about 1 month ago). He has been addicted to pain medication and anti-anxiety meds for several years, but I don't see that as the sole cause of his attempts; it is much more complicated than that. He has struggled with depression, anxiety, and who know what else since he was a young boy. The combination of the two (i.e., the addiction and the mental illness) is very complicated and very difficult to treat. He has been to every doctor imaginable. I have seen the health care system and community services fail him repeatedly (and sometimes with the best of intentions).

M3

[Lavande]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Hello LVT, Marshy & M3,

Welcome Heidiesc, Shambles & Horsegirl! Things have been a bit shakey around the threads this week but I think you'll find that we are sincere in our efforts to live a sober life!

I personally have been feeling a bit selfish the past few weeks. I seem to be using up all my energy to remain sane & focused during my husband's current bout of emotional instability. I wish I could help him but I cannot. I'm praying he finds the strength to get a grip & get real very soon.

My wish for all of us is that we remain strong & focused on our goals - no matter what! I hope the newbies use the Toolbox to their advantage. There are thousands of things you can do without AL!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Friday!
Lav

[momof3]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Shambles84;850471 wrote: Hi there

Fridays suck! All my friends are looking forward to the weekend n making plans. Unfortunately there plans include alcohol n I'm strong enough atm to kno I can't join them. It would be nice to kno other peoples alcohol free plans to cheer me up:-)

Shambles. Stay strong. Yes, weekends suck in the beginning! What I found important early on was to change my mindset from feeling deprived (i.e., I can't drink, I can't do what others are doing) to feeling grateful and committed to living an authentic, healthy and AF life. I would suggest that you write down some things that you've always wanted to do (and perhaps Al kept you from doing). For example, many of my goals focused on my health and fitness (e.g., run a marathon, lose 20 lbs, eat healthy) and spritual growth (e.g. join a church community). Rewarding yourself by spending money on what you normally would have on alcohol is also good (e.g., a pedicure and/or manicure, or massage).

This weekend I will be taking a yoga class, hanging out with my family on Mother's Day, buying a bike for my daughter, and going for a bike ride. When you are AF, the simple things in life bring so much peace, joy, and contentment.

[Doggygirl]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Hello all! LVT thanks for keeping our daily thread going. I apologize I haven't been around much this week. The ONLY reason is just that life is going through a busy spell. All is good. I am very sad about Cowgal. Very sad that anyone follows through with that desire to end it all. I felt that way during the last several years of my drinking. I could not see a purpose to life and wanted to end it. Thankfully, I got sober and got out of that extreme depression. I really hope anyone here who is feeling that depressed, and is reading this will see SOBRIETY as a possible contributing factor to the SOLUTION rather than seeing alcohol and suicide as a solution to anything.

I may have periods of time when I cannot visit and post as often as other times, but my desire is to always stay connected here on some level.

:welcome: Shambles and Heidi, and good to see you HG! And of course a hearty hello to the "regulars!"

Shambles, I agree with everything M3 said about weekend plans, and also about feeling empowered through sobriety rather than deprived. At the end of my drinking, there were so many things I didn't do because they would have interfered with my NEED to drink.

Cowgal's death makes me sad. But it also makes me more determined than ever to stay sober and not have AL as a "complicating factor" in my life. A saying I heard that I really like is this one. "I didn't have a problem every time I drank. But every time I had a problem, AL was somehow involved." MA may not have died directly and soley due to AL. However, I believe AL was a strong contributing factor to where she ended up. That is such a tragedy and the best way we can honor her memory is to NOT DRINK and then work on life from there.

Sister had the mastectomy today. Thankfully, her other issues (asthma, part of a lung missing, a crooked trach from thyroid tumor removal, etc.) did not cause problems during surgery. She was still very groggy when I left the hospital, but was already experiencing some pain. She was not only addicted to alcohol but to prescription medication, so there is quite a list of pain meds that she refuses to take. So the pain meds she WILL take are not as strong. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a difficult day for her pain wise. I'm so grateful I am sober so I can be there for her as she has helped me so much in my sober life.

The gifts of sobriety don't always come wrapped in pretty paper with a big bow. But they are some of the most important gifts of life and LIVING.

DG

[LVT25]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Thanks for checking in people!!
Marshy, I totally understand. Take care.
M3-surreal for sure.
Lav-i hope things get better in your life soon
DG- thanks for posting about sister. I pray she doesn't have to suffer in pain! Which reminds me thanks for asking about my sister. I guess no news is good news. They have started her on antidepressants which bothers me some. The woman is bound to be depressed with all of her problems, I hate to see her on those meds. My mom was on Prozac for years, and sis has a lot of the same issues as she did.

I'm happy to see some new names here, and it is nice to know that others read this and it helps in some way. Horsegirl, I see you are in Colorado. I am in the western part of Nebraska, so we are kinda neighbors.

Well, it's late, and I'm tired, so goodnight, sleep tight, no hangovers for us in the morning!

[Horsegirl]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

LVT,

I live in northeatern Colorado, so I think we are pretty close neighbors.

HG

[Sheepish]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

I just wanted to pop in an echo LVT's thoughts- I LOVE the daily AF and come here every day, morning and night. You are all very wise. Marshy- I will miss your posts!
thanks to all-
-Sheep

[Chillgirl]

AF DAILY, FRIDAY MAY 7TH

LVT - I visit this thread quite regularly and wouldnt like to see it die off....
I have been travelling the last couple of days (avoiding ash clouds!) and am currently outside of Boston visiting a MWO friend! I like you got to know MA better only in recent months and more through FB where we had been sharing PMs about both our impending divorces.

M3 - Thanks for sharing your experiences I had no idea you had been through this. I also agree that with MA alcohol was only one of many problems for her.

Marshy - I respect how you are feeling but will miss your posts, I hope you come back soon.

Lav - You do so much on MWO I hope we have been of some support back to you in recent weeks. I really belief the whole point to this site is the way we can vent how we feel easier than in our "real worlds" where we are all more guarded and I really hope everyone continues with the open honesty which continues to help me on a daily basis.

DG - I agree the best way to honour MA is by remaining grateful for our sobriety...