Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

I'm starting this thread quickly, as I have my volunteer work to go to. I'm doing OK after last week's scare w/my daughter. I'm realizing how precious life is & don't want to miss a minute of it in any kind of alcoholic stupor. I got through the whole thing sober & feeling all my feelings. It wasn't so bad. Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Hi Everyone,
I have copy and paste this post,


Mary, glad to read that your daughter is ok, and like to add well done mary . It funny they dont seem to make a big thing about given out chip.
Winefree reading your post about 40-50pages but really made me laugh, i cant imagine that as well.
DG.... love reading your post never heard of a fellowship banquet.
There is someone that i want to ask to be my sponser, but im to scared to ask it feels like im asking someone to go out on a date.

I love my meetings on a saturday morning everyone there that share's is so honest, at the end this Big massive guy, shared and said how he was really proud of me and how i have work so dam hard to get where iam today on my recovery, i was blushing but really taken back by surprise it really made me think the people in my fellowship how much they all mean to me.
I did share about cowgal and how i felt and also about the broken bottle of wine in work, when i started this lady was going home so she needed someone to stand next to the broken bottle so that no customers would have a accident..... well standing next to this broken bottle of red wine everywhere was very hard for me the smell really did smell nice plus it give me that really nice warm feeling inside me that red glow, i did started to get a craving, it remind me of that story hippie had share The brown botttle, anyway i started to imagine if i was a dog now i could lick that all up or if no one was around looking i just wanted to dip my fingers in it to just get a little taste.
Thank God the cleaner come and it was at the beginning of my work not the end.

Thanks for all sharing i do get a lot of out of everyones posts.
__________________

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Catch22: It's so great seeing how much you appreciate the meetings you go to. I cannot imagine what I'd do wo/them.

I just got back from my Mon. women's meeting. I like the coed meetings, but the women's meeting is good too. Tonight we read the doctor's opinion in the intro to the BB. It spoke about the fact that will power alone doesn't work for some people. It also talked about the allergy. I could identify w/all of it. Will power alone just couldn't keep me sober. I absolutely needed the face-to-face support of AA. MWO is my place to come & process. However, I really need the human connection/committment.

On Fri. after a meeting I spoke to another member who went out to dinner w/his family. He's been sober about 2 years. He said that he felt very uncomfortable w/people drinking socially around him. He had a cheated feeling. Like: "Why can't I have a drink too?" A few others chimed in, & that gave me food for thought.

Sat. night, we went to our dinner club. There was a drink before-hand & wine w/dinner. Everyone is a normal drinker. I can honestly say that I didn't have that cheated feeling. The host had gotten a bottle of my favorite soft drink which I sipped from. It was a wonderful substitute for alcohol for me. I realize that I cannot drink the way everyone else drinks. I felt fine drinking non-AL. Again, amazingly, there were 7 drinking wine, & I think that maybe 2 small bottles were consumed during an entire meal.

Mary

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Mary, 7 drinkers and only 2 bottles of wine?? Yikes!
I don't think I will ever understand that normal drinking.

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Me either! Those 2 bottles would have been about enough for me.

Winefree

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Hi Everyone,
:wow: only 2bottles,

Mary, Interesting when you talked about The Allergy, really never knew what people meant by that, now i do, lots of people at my AA talk about it, the ones that have the allergy are the binge drinkers i see myself as a everyday drinker but i did have the odd days where i needed more and more and could not stop, but i would not stop and rest for a few days, i would just cut day but still be drinking until the next time round i would binge again when i would feel i could. There was a lady that talked awhile back i was so surprise when she said she not had a drink for 25years she started drinking at the age of 13yrs old she started going AA meetings at the age of 20yrs old, her first AAmeeting was in the East End of London in whitechaple not far from where i grow up as a child use to be lots of tramps begging for money for a bottle of cider at the train station, anyway her first meeting when she walked in she was the only woman they were old all men they welcome her and said how lucky she was to realize she had a problem at such a young age she knew something was not right about her drinking that was not normal she had the allergy, yes she had been in and out of hospital as well at a young age.

It funny people in my AA, there is one or two from my counselling sessions that go now.....

There is a few women at my AA meetings where there son's or daughter's have followed the same path of there parents or that are into drugs, This really does worry me a lot. Also this women that goes her mother use to go AA and her son goes now, not long ago her mum passed away it was only afterwards she turn to drink, wow she got courage she come back and said she realize all this time she was a dry drunk had a lot of resentment, (her mum keep telling her to do her step4&5 again) anyway she doing her step 4&5 again, she been in and out of hospital and also been section on a ward. Hearing other people talk face to face really does help me, because this is where it is REAL there is no bull shit going on i can see where the pain is in there faces when they talk and they have been 3years sober, i suppose they can see my pain as well.
Have to share this with you as well this guy at our AA meeting his 17months sober anyway he was talikng to this guy the other day that was 3yrs sober and said to him listen to me im 3years sober i know what im talikng about. ME and everyone else couldn't believe that someone could say that..... does not matter how many days months or years you just dont say that you just dont know what waiting for you around the corner.
Yes Mary The Big Book doctor's opinon, now that made lots of sense to me i could indentify and relate to that i have a big problem and knew that will power is not going to do it for me alone, your right face to face, recovery starts when one Aloholic talks to another. We go through good times bad times happy and sad and we all care for each other no matter what mood we are in. when i first got my Big Book the guy said to me start from the beginning some people go to the to end to read the stories im glad i was given the right advice it makes sense to start from the beginning.
Really sorry to go on today it just i wake up today and i realize i need to move away from the 'deprivation mode' and get to the 'Gratituide mode' it (I dont want to be that guy what you said about Mary 2years sober and still thinking.) just some days can be hard if i was honest with you's. i feel like half of me is there but the other half needs to work hard. Maybe this is where there steps comes inti it, some people say that they just woke up and said today is the day that something clicks inside there head that they are not drinking no more, its just i need soemthing to click in my thinking still dont get me wrong I am grateful to be here and alive today and i dont want a drink because i know it will mess with my little head and lead me to that dark place again and i know it not a very nice place. i have to keep telling myself it NOT OK to DRINK, because once i have that drink my mindset is out the window i have told this to them at AA i wil not be able to be in control again, it will take me a long time to get myself sorted out again.
Mary just a question for you this guy that is 2years sober that felt cheated 'why cant i have a drink too. Does attend AA meetings and has he done the 12steps program?? just food for thought!
Right im off to vitist another thread. L:hve 2u all.x

[Guitarista]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Hang in there Teardrop!
You're right. We must work on our thinking and create, and maintain, a positive, gratitude mode mindset. We must do and use whatever it takes.
I reckon you standing next to that broken bottle of wine might've been a little test, that seems to get thrown at us from time to time!

Best wishes......

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Hi all! This is just a "speed check in" but wanted to say I am enjoying all of your posts. I need to think "gratitude" rather than "deprivation" in ALL areas of my life. Deprivation mode = pity party and that gets me absolutely nowhere but miserable.

Catch, you are doing so fabulous. I love reading about your thoughts and meetings and experiences. The wine on the floor and having to stand guard.... You handled it well and with so much honesty which for me is so important.

Yes Phil - there are some characters in the meetings I go to. I love them.

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Interesting topic about being grateful and not feeling deprived because we can't drink.

My daughter was talking about that yesterday. She still feels like she is "missing" something. She has been struggling a lot lately and it scares me.

Of course, I scare her.

What a selfish disease.

But, I am excited to be able to take the Baclofen in the doses recommended to help and am still grateful for AA. While the Baclofen may help with the cravings, this is also a spiritual disease and AA will help me with that.

So glad you are all here.

Love,
Cindi

[momof3]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Good Morning All,

I felt hugely deprived in my early months of sobriety. I could just not get past the thought that I was missing out and that things would never be the same again without alcohol, e.g., being with old friends, going out to dinner, especially with girlfriends, etc.

I remember posting my struggle here at MWO and I received lots of great advice about setting goals for myself, etc and that's what I did. I made a list of all the things I wanted to do and could do being AF (I've done and continue to do most of them). I've run a marathon, I've lost almost 25 pounds, I joined a church, I became wildly more productive in my business (and increased my income), I have formed some very deep and meaningful relationships (and let others go), and I'm very involved in volunteer work and community service. Most importantly, I am present every moment of my childrens' lives. I am not an AA'er but these are the things that AA advocates. There is no room for alcohol in my life.

Alcohol and/or our preoccupation with it is what causes the feelings of deprivation. When you stop drinking, it's not just about putting the quantity of AF time in, it's about working hard at the quality and meaning in your life and about making some hard choices at times to stay AF.

M3

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Hi again! This is another quickie post and then I'm back out the door. But before I forget, I wanted to share something a guy said at this mornings meeting that really summarizes something important for me, and goes to the "deprivation" issue I think. I've just never heard it put exactly this way before. I'm going to write this down and put it in my wallet.

"When I drink/drug, I give up EVERYTHING in order to have those one or two things. When I give up drinking/drugs, I give up one or two things in order to have EVERYTHING ELSE."

When I was drinking, I slowly lost my life and became and empty shell. It is so worth giving up ONE THING - alcohol - in order to get EVERYTHING that is meaningful in life back, and even better than before in so many ways.

Love you guys and be back later! M3 - you are absolutely right that you are living the prinicples espoused in AA.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

M3: I totally agree w/DG. After a while AA is not about just eliminating the drinking. It becomes a way of life as it has for you. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Everyone: Last night's speaker was good. He was a 25 year veteran of AA. One of the interesting points he made was that he spent the first 6 years of his sobriety just going to meetings. He didn't get a sponsor or work the steps. He thus labelled himself as a "dry drunk." Once he started working the steps, he really feels he began the second phase of his recovery.

He also talked about the "allergy" or the fact that normal drinkers have an "off" switch. Long before I got into AA & got sober, I realized that I didn't drink like everyone else. Normal drinkers put down the drink when they feel light-headed or tipsy. Alcoholics WANT to feel light-headed & tipsy. That's what drinking is about for alcoholics.

I hope everyone is well & happy.

Love, Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

Excellent topic. Thanks all for sharing. I can totally understand the talk about deprivation and why me, why can't I? I still get those rotten thoughts now and again. Seems like it has been alot lately, possibly due to my recent anniversary. I hope it goes completely away soon.
I love all the discussion and DG really like what you wrote. I need to copy that down and keep it too for future reference when I have those awful thoughts.

Winefree

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of May 10 - 16

:h Hi everyone,
Just love reading through all the post, everytime i always log on mwo it really funny but my heart beats really fast it a bit like when i go AA meetings and speak.

Guitarista, that must of been a test for me, i had that same thing happen to me last time when i was over 60days af but i was shopping at the time getting AF wine, NOW i dont go down that section no more. That smell of that red wine must of got right up my nose Big time! and started playing ticks with my thinking cap.
Cinders, It is a selfish disease, not only it a self disease but it made Me a selfish person as well.
DG... like the bit the guy said about empty shell and it so worth giving up one thing.
It reminds me of this guy going back awhile he must of been in his late 20's but he said about his friend saying to him that they would not go AA because they think it to heavy stuff, well he said AA is nothing heavy what is heavy is the drinking everyday every hour that what heavy, 1hr and a half of his time is nothing compaed to drinking.
m3... sometimes i think how did i find the Time to drink like i did i was always tired that tiredness is going away now it does feel so good and i do feel like im ready now to do some kind of exercise,
In the AA book living sober they have about Gratitude and deprived. I alway highlight the bit in my book that means something to me does anyone else do this?
Winefree, Im sure those thoughts will go away soon.:l
Mary... someone said to me in AA on my scond meeting wait for a few months and everything will fit into place you look back and think to yourself what i did was not normal she right my drinking was not normal like normal people, like you said they had the off switch, i always wanted one more last drink for the road or just one more was never enough, they say that its always the last drink that makes you ill or send you over the edge, But thinking about it now it was always my first drink for me that made me ill or send me over the edge, not the last drink, I always have to remind myself on that one as well.
There a guy at my AA meeting that met a girl on the train and she ask him out he could not believe his luck anyway he said that he does not drink straight way because he has allergy from drinking. Made me laugh because some of the other guys or women said as soon as they know your a alcoholic they run mile away from ya. If you know there's someone stalking ya, you know what to say to them..:H




catch22.x