Hey everyone
Just wondering if I could join you over here and meet some of you? It's been a long time - I haven't posted on MWO in well over a year but have been lurking this last week. I really tried to go AF back then as my drinking was getting well out of hand, but just couldn't as life was so shitty. I tried moderating - but I don't have the 'off' switch either.
Recently at the start of this year I've found myself under huge stress in every area of my life (marriage, financial, family, relocating) and for the first time in my life I started having panic attacks. I'll never forget the first few - I thought I was dying.
At first didn't put 2 and 2 together but slowly realised that drinking was making my anxiety worse so I cut back. This then had me sitting in tears or just feeling numb most afternoons and struggling to get out of bed in the morning. Realised I was in a black hole and plucked up the courage to speak to my dr about it. I can't tell you the relief when she was totally easy to talk to about it - diagnosed depression and put me on a 3-6 month course of antiD's and hypnosis for depression. Just started them this week so haven't seen full effects yet.
I'm trying to see this as my one big chance to finally kick this hideous habit. I don't know if I could go to an AA meeting - but right now I try and look at glasses of wine as nothing but a panic attack waiting to happen - and I'm terrified of going through that again. I just don't think I could literally survive another hangover - physically, mentally, spiritually.
Glad to be back anyway
AF since 11/5/10
Just wondering if I could join you over here and meet some of you? It's been a long time - I haven't posted on MWO in well over a year but have been lurking this last week. I really tried to go AF back then as my drinking was getting well out of hand, but just couldn't as life was so shitty. I tried moderating - but I don't have the 'off' switch either.
Recently at the start of this year I've found myself under huge stress in every area of my life (marriage, financial, family, relocating) and for the first time in my life I started having panic attacks. I'll never forget the first few - I thought I was dying.
At first didn't put 2 and 2 together but slowly realised that drinking was making my anxiety worse so I cut back. This then had me sitting in tears or just feeling numb most afternoons and struggling to get out of bed in the morning. Realised I was in a black hole and plucked up the courage to speak to my dr about it. I can't tell you the relief when she was totally easy to talk to about it - diagnosed depression and put me on a 3-6 month course of antiD's and hypnosis for depression. Just started them this week so haven't seen full effects yet.
I'm trying to see this as my one big chance to finally kick this hideous habit. I don't know if I could go to an AA meeting - but right now I try and look at glasses of wine as nothing but a panic attack waiting to happen - and I'm terrified of going through that again. I just don't think I could literally survive another hangover - physically, mentally, spiritually.
Glad to be back anyway
AF since 11/5/10
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