May we be sober ~ week 3

[techie]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Too bad chill Have a safe trip. Next time at the cape Blackfish. I'm going up next month to visit. techie

[Stargazerlily]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Good morning all! It's Friday. For me, that's a good thing.

I have been experiencing the worst cravings this week and have made it through AF. I keep telling myself, just get home and eat. Then, I'm better and the cravings are gone. I thinkg it is the trigger of warmer weather? I don't know. Any one else craving recently?

On another thread I was reading about how relationships with your significant other changes as you work on your recovery. It is a struggle. Keeping your relationship fresh, having things in common, even thinking about why you got together in the first place. I know my husband and I were hard partyers (sp?) and that is what we had in common. Getting messed up. So, over 30 years together we have had to work hard to keep together. We are so different. I do not think that if we would have been together if we had not partied. So, what do we do now? Sometimes it feels really lonely, but we have a family and time invested. Plus, he is a good person. But in so many ways we are different and butt heads. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has a relationship where it's easy.

On the other hand, the things we share, our differences, make it interesting, not just frustrating. So, maybe that is the payoff, the stuff that keeps us together. Maybe my expectations are too high. You know, that soulmate type of stuff. Is it real, does it truly exist? Think of the marriages of the past, when they were arranged. Whew, that would be tough. So, the very definition of marriage has changed. Plus, people didn't live as long. OK, now I'm rambling. Sorry.

Chill, you story about visiting a place that you had been with your husband in your youth, and the fact that you will never love like that again. I appreciated your sharing that. It is true. One of the harder parts of getting older, too. How great for you to have memories like that though.

Sending strength and hope.

[spedteach]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Good morning,
Red you are such a thoughtful person...your posts always get me thinking about one thing or another. I think your idea of writing is a good one. Even if you don't become a best selling author, I think writing is a good exercise just in itself. I was looking at our local continuing ed catalog and there are several writing classes. Anything like that in your neck of the woods? One class is about writing childrens' literature. Would love to try my hand at that one.

Dill, I loved your story about your friend's husband being rejuvenated on his road trip. I leave for California next week. For me it is the best cure for feeling stuck/empty. Even going out of town for the weekend helps.
And about that book, I'm reading for my therapy group. It is not light reading, in fact he's damn verbose. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. For me though, thinking about what I'm to do with the rest of my life is essential.

Chill, what a nostalgic afternoon you had. Are you sad to be leaving the US/your friend?

Lav, hope you are having a better day today. You sounded dang cranky yesterday.

Morning Sooty and all to come.

[sooty]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Hello everyone, its a beautiful day here, sunny and very warm (for the UK that is) I don't think I posted yesterday which was just an oversight on my part.
I hope you're all having a pleasant Friday.
We sang a new song in choir last night - From a Distance - apparently its a Bette Midler song, anyone know it? I hadn't heard it before but its rather nice.
I hadn't thought of my activities as filling in emptiness but I guess they could be ...I'm taking advantage of being retired to do some of the things I didn't have time for when I was working - so I thought I was being self-indulgent
Have a good day gang,
love sooty

[Lavande]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Morning all!

Yes Sped, I am in a better mood today
I was feeling frustrated yesterday but things have worked themselves out. I hate that I have to spend so much of my energy trying to keep from blowing my top off. I'd really rather be doing other things!

I have a full day planned for myself including some grandson time this evening - that's a good thing for me right now.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!
Lav

[sooty]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Hey May crowd where are we all? Lav I hope you enjoyed your time with the electrically charged one - what does he call you?
Beautiful day again here today, I'm off for a little walk soon and then to a bead fair this afternoon - I already have a sideboard bulging with the things but can never resist buying more
Have a fab Saturday everyone
love sooty

[dill]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Good morning all,

Hey, Sooty, I don't know where everyone is, it seems our little thread is running out of steam these days.
Lav, I hope you enjoyed your time with your Grandson. That's always good for a mood lifter, I'm sure!
Sped, I thank you for the comments about the book. I will probably steer clear. I need some easy reading for now. I bought the first book of the Twighlight series that everyone is reading, or has read. I know it came out years ago, but I never got around to it when it was first out. I hope you enjoy your trip to CA. I have been there once and it was one of the best vacations of my life.
Chill, safe travels to you!
Red, Marriage is something that takes some effort, that's for sure! Mr. D and I got together for the right reasons, I believe. We started out as friends and confidents and then became a couple. So, we have a pretty good start there, but still there are times that I wonder how we have made it this far. It will be 33 years this June. As far as cravings, I do think they get worse at change of seasons.
Hey, techie!

Have a great Saturday! I'm looking forward to some sunshine today. At least I'm hoping for some. It's been cloudy and rainy for too long!

[Lavande]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Good morning all,

Somewhat cloudy & cooler today - perfect weather for spreading the 5 yards of mulch that was delivered yesterday, yuck!

Expecting Mr Lav any moment. I emailed him this week & told him he needed to cut grass - it's his job, not mine. We'll see what happens.

Sooty, my grandson has been calling me 'Mom Mom' lately - Grandma is a little too difficult to pronounce yet

Greetings to Red, chill, Sped & everyone! Hi Techie!
Enjoy your sunshine Dill

Lav

[Chillgirl]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Hi Guys - last weekend in US of A! Looks like the sun will be shining too
I feel like i have been away forever and its been a huge learning period for me, I have been daily challenged by AL and dont think it would have taken much for me to cave in.... but i didnt.
I will have to give it some serious thought and have contingency thoughts ready next time im away from home to combat this happening again.

I have been emailing one of my closes friends who knows i stopped drinking but doesnt have any idea the extent of my drinking and id mentioned how hard i was finding it. The conversation went back and forth and she said she hadnt realized it was difficult for me as i made it look so easy, she said she felt like a bad friend for not realizing and being more supportive. I told her it was my choice to portray it that way & I had actually felt guilty for not confiding in her. We have decided to have a long chat when i get back and I promised to tell her all...

Being away from home makes you see your life from a step back and this has been really good for me. Im really looking forward to going home especially to my darling dog Elle who is the most precious being in the world to me! To my sweet little cottage and to my mad friends who i love dearly.

Wishing all my best online buddies here a wonderful AL weekend.

[mario]

May we be sober ~ week 3

hiya chillgirl, hang in there, your doing great.

[spedteach]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Morning everybody,
Just said good bye to a couple from southern California who were staying with us for a couple of days. They are friends of my son's. They're in their 50's and are embarking on a 6 week road trip around the US, promoting barefoot running. Last evening we attended a barefoot running workshop! They have workshops scheduled in 25 states. An interesting pair. Oh and let's not forget Herman, their enormous dog. My kitties just breathed a sigh of relief. It made my think though, what an interesting thing to do with your life. Traveling around the country, meeting new people, talking about something you feel passionate about. Glad I'm leaving on my own road trip in a week or I would be extremely jealous.
On a sad note, I was much more comfortable with a couple of strangers in my house than I am with my husband alone.

My task for today...move all my house plants outside for the summer. Feels like the season is upon us. 90 degrees yesterday.

I am out of antabuse. Took my last pill last night. Am wondering if I should refill the prescription or try staying af without it. Am curious about how much my sobriety depends on that little white pill.

And about our poor little thread I say..keep posting ladies. I need you to get me through my first af summer since 1981!!

[spedteach]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Hey chill,
cross post. Hope you have a lovely final weekend in the US of A. Are you in Boston?
Good for you for confiding in your friend. It is exhausting for me to keep secrets from people I care about.
Sounds like you're ready to be home.

[dill]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Hey Sooty, I meant to respond to your comment about the Bette Midler song: yes, I have definitely heard it. It's one of my favorites. Are you familiar with Bette Midler in general? She's done a lot of great songs. Have you heard "The Wind Beneath My Wings"? I wish I could join a choir, but I don't know of any nearby except for Church and they seem to have plenty of members.

Sped, I hope that you have the skills to stay AF without antabuse, but if you feel weak, refill that prescription! It sounds like you had a good time with your visitors. I think it fits in with the discussion of filling the "empty feeling". With guests, you have a break from routine. That makes you more alert and more present in the moment. It shows that we need to work at keeping our lives "interesting". I was curious as to whether your hb enjoyed the visit as well? Did he respond as you did?

Chill, Thanks for sharing with us your reflections on your journey. It sounds like you had much time for thinking and searching through your feelings. I don't think you should feel badly though, about not confiding about your struggle with your friend. You were dealing with your problems in the best and safest way for you at the time. Perhaps you are stronger now and more ready to share... Maybe even need to share to help your sobriety. Don't second guess yourself. I think you have done amazingly well!!!

Lav, did Mr. Lav come by to mow? Did you get a chance to talk?

[spedteach]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Morning Dill,
You're up early. I am such a morning person. Last night I was ready to sleep before it was completely dark. Of course that means I feel like I overslept if I wake up past 5:00. Am also a autumn/winter person so must taken advantage of the morning's coolness to get all my outdoor activities done.

In answer to your question, my husband did enjoy the visit. He even stayed home from work on Friday just to hang out. Maybe we should open a bed and breakfast or host a foreign exchange student. Actually have been thinking quite seriously about the later.

Time for my weekly group run. Will check in later.

Thanks for posting Dill. I don't want to lose this thread.

[sooty]

May we be sober ~ week 3

Afternoon all, lovely to see you on this boiling hot day!
Dill I am not familiar with Bette Midler's singing and had never heard From a Distance until we did it last week in choir. I watched her on youtube though and my friend is now copying me a cd so I will be more familiar soon! From a distance is lovely - the sentiment so relevant.
Lav how's things with Mr Lav? Are you feeling ok my dear?
Sped how far do you run? I used to run years ago, my longest were half marathons and once I did 15 miles when I got lost on a training run
Chill thank you for sharing your journey with us, sounds like you had lots to think about.
I'm going to our local gardens this afternoon where the rhodedendrons are supposed to be spectacular this year - see you all later
love Sooty