AF Daily - Friday May 21

[johnnyh]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Thanks guys,

Yeah. The thought just catches up sometimes that this isn't temporary but permanent and specifically in situations like social situations, tough times like this morning, etc. it seems hopeless at times knowing that this isn't happening now, nor ever (having a drink).

I just still wish I could turn back the hands of time and change things. Never have started drinking as young as I did, never have let things get out of control like that. It's easy though sometimes to remember all the good AL times and forget about the bad times (the most of the times), the reason that made you quit.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Hello everyone! I've been missing my Fabbie Abbie friends this week while racing all over the place! We should be on the way to camping right now but Mr. D is still out supporting our customers. This is good considering the economy and all. Disappointing for sure, but I am keeping my horses in the stable about it, and being grateful for the business. The camp site will still be there later.

Gaia I love the new name and especially what it represents for you! I'm also glad that you had a positive talk with Mr. G about the wine situation. Open and honest communication is so important I think, especially assuming he is a "normie" (normal drinker). So often, it's just very hard for normies to understand what we go through as addicted people. The only way they really know is if we are completely honest as we walk through it.

johnny, I can relate to what you are going through as well. There have been many times along the way where glammed up thoughts of AL are really strong. You are right - our minds seem to forget how bad it was, and really glam up the drinking fantasies. A couple of things I do is to keep a written gratitude list close at hand. When AL is gripping my mind, having my tools nearby IN WRITING really helps make it easy for me to use them. I also keep a written list of things to do. Especially in the first year of sobriety, "changing the channel" by doing something ACTIVE when those urges and thoughts would strike was very important for me. Action things (exercise, go for a walk, clean a closet, play with the dogs, etc) were always more effective than passive things (reading, watching TV, etc.) Don't know if that helps, but that's what I did. Please don't fall for the AL tricks. Believing I was "fixed" after 60 days sober got me in 8 more months of trouble and misery with AL.

There was a really good reading in the Daily Reflections book yesterday. I wish I could figure out how to go back a day on this site Daily Recovery Readings so I could cut and paste it here. It was about how overwhelming it can be to think of sobriety for all of the future. Something about the way it was written really drove home the value of ODAT for me.

Prancy, :goodjob: on 3 Days AF!! Don't give in now that the effects of your last drinking episode are wearing off. The early days are tough but if you stick with it, you won't have to go through it again. That sure is a motivator for me!! I don't want to go through the pain that comes with drinking (for me) again, nor the pain of quitting again.

I was at a social event last night where there was a bar available. Diet coke for me. I am no longer paranoid about what anyone thinks about what I drink. Frankly, people are NOT thinking about what I'm doing or not doing most of the time. When I was at the little portable bar (in a hotel conference room - that kind) ordering a diet coke, someone that I know walked up and said "can I buy you a drink?" It was a joke because the drinks were free. I looked at the bartender and said "OK, make mine a double". Double diet coke. :H

Greenie, one of my brothers has never been a drinker either. I think I've seen him have ONE glass of wine in my entire life. He doesn't like how it makes him feel either. He would NEVER be embarrassed or self conscious because he doesn't drink alcohol. We don't need to be self conscious either.

Marsha! Marsha!! Oh the Brady Bunch. Marshy you should google that and see if you can watch an episode. They solved ALL of lifes problems - especially of the teenage variety - in 30 minutes every time. OH if life were only like that! :H

Lav, I'll come help with your mulch if you'll come help with mine. Actually we need a truck load but haven't ordered it yet as we are still ???? about where to find the time and strength to get it all done!!

Did I tell that Mr. D expanded my garden? It's about twice as big now. Last year I had to plant the viney things along the fence so they could go up. No room to go out. Yesterday I planted cukes and melons and sweet potatoes on the flat. I also put in more tomatoes and peppers. And cabbages. Thinned the radishes and some other stuff that I forgot what I planted, but figured it ought to be thinned anyway. Anything near the turnips must need thinning...right?? Also harvested leaf lettuce and spinach. Double That plot will definitely keep me busy this year!

Well, I need to see what the status is with Mr. D. I hope we still get to go camping tonight!

DG

[dancelot]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Doggygirl;864003 wrote:

There was a really good reading in the Daily Reflections book yesterday. I wish I could figure out how to go back a day on this site Daily Recovery Readings so I could cut and paste it here. It was about how overwhelming it can be to think of sobriety for all of the future. Something about the way it was written really drove home the value of ODAT for me.

DG

DG - At the top of that page there is "More Daily Reflections" - click there and you can see them for any day (I go there all the time because some days they change so early - or early for me since I'm not a day person )

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Dance, when I click on the "More Daily Readings" link, I'm getting a broken link type error???

DG

[dancelot]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Doggygirl;864150 wrote: Dance, when I click on the "More Daily Readings" link, I'm getting a broken link type error???

DG

Weird! I know last time they changed it (it looked different), it wasn't working for a few days right before that. I tried going in through Christian Recovery something which it's part of, and that got the same Error thing. Hope it's back up - it's a good source of reading material. Bummer!

[prancy]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Doggy, Thanks for the words of encouragement. I think it is going to take about a week for the effects of this last binge to go away. It is unbelievable how bad AL makes me feel anymore. So why do I remember how good it makes me feel and not how bad! My biggest problem is when I feel good again. But I have promised both my husband and my daughter that I will quite. Both has said they will help but both drink. I am constantly surrounded by liquor. It makes it tough. Enough whining. End of Day 3 and all is well.
prancy

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Prancy, have you written down the BAD parts of your AL experience? If I ever start glamorizing my memories of drinking, it helps me to read EXACTLY how unglamourous is was. The mental pull to feed our addictions is very strong, and I can easily start believing my own bullshit if I'm not careful. I need good strategies to keep it real and keep it honest.

Have you talked to your husband and daughter about the TRUTH of how difficult this is for you? Have you asked for their support, at least in the short term, by not drinking in front of you? Everyone doesn't have to quit drinking just because that is best for me. But the people who are closest to me have been very supportive WHEN I HAVE BEEN HONEST about my addiction, and what I need from them to help me overcome it.

Don't know if those suggestions will help....

DG

[prancy]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

DG, thanks again for the good advice. Both my husband and daughter are supportive. But when in social situations they do what social drinkers do.....drink. But they both want me to stop and have said so and they both know how hard it is for me. My husband is out of town at the time and I am home alone on Friday night. I got a message on the phone from my mother in law that she wanted to know if I wanted to go to dinner with her. I felt so bad because she is older and she is alone but she LOVES to drink and if I am not drinking, and that has been on and off over the years as I have TRIED to get sober, she just goes on and on about it. I just didn't think I was up to it without my husband so I said I already had plans. I did feel bad though. Maybe I will call her tomorrow afternoon and see if she wants to go to a movie. But then I know she will want me to come in for a drink and we will start all over again. She is getting along in years and has always loved a drink or two or three. These days they seem to really affect her - she gets all slurry, etc. but she NEVER feels bad the next day. She is a love but she is hard to be around when you are trying not to drink! And to your other point, I have written down the effects of AL and memories many times in the past. But then I get the urge to "moderate" and at some point I throw them out because they make me feel so uncomfortable. As though throwing them out makes them go away! I guess I got on sort of a rant here, but thanks again for the support. I think I may do some more writing tonight. Good idea. prancy

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

prancy that's a tough situation with your MIL. I hope you can make a decision that sobriety is #1 for you, and then decide from there how to best handle some interaction time with her. Is breakfast an option?

DG

[prancy]

AF Daily - Friday May 21

Breakfast is probably not an option. She doesn't appear in the mornings until about 11. But a movie might be a good option. And then she will want me to come in for a drink after and I will just say no thanks!