May we be sober - Week 4

[rustop61]

Good morning everyone

Have had no computer the last few days. Just up and running so decided I would start us off. Where have all the weeks gone to?

Had an absolutely fantastic week-end weather wise. Nothing much to report. Painter is still here so have been busy cleaning.

Have a great week.

Rustop

[dill]

May we be sober - Week 4

Hi Rusty, Thanks so much for getting us started! What is the painter painting? We have been sprucing up a little bit around here, too. Mr. Dill has been painting the foyer, living room and two bathrooms. I am so happy that he took that on. I am awful at painting, plus, I am still working full time and really don't want to use my weekend that way. Mr. Dill has been out of work for quite some time now, due to the poor economy. But he has kept himself quite busy with projects here on the farm.

It was nice to have sunny weather on the weekend for a change! I got out and did some weeding but much more needs doing! The big project yesterday was shaving my dog. She is an outdoor dog and her coat gets so thick over the winter that she is matted and impossible to clean and groom. So yesterday, we shaved her down to an inch of her skin. She looks funny! But she is cool and comfortable for the summer.

Sped, maybe a bed and breakfast is a good idea for you and Mr. Sped! It sounds like you both enjoy having guests. When do you leave for California? Will you be travelling with Mr. S or alone? Is he retired, like you? I envy you the trip. I hope you can tell us about your travels.

Lav, Mr. Lav's behavior is indeed puzzling. So sorry you're going through this. Try and focus on the positive. Keep us posted on grand baby number 2!

Sooty, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-T1h7J0R-Q[/video]]YouTube - The Wind Beneath My Wings: Bette Midler Live in 2008

Chill, Do you travel with a laptop? I never go without mine. It's great to pass the time in the airport, checking in with MWO!

Hi, Red!

All who check in and all who are reading, have a great AF Monday!

[Lavande]

May we be sober - Week 4

Morning all,

Just a quick hello for now. I will be babysitting Monday & Wednesday from 10 am - 2 pm for the next month while my daughter-in-law attends a summer class.
Better get ready

I'll be back later,
Lav

[spedteach]

May we be sober - Week 4

Morning all,
It's the last week of school and my first day not getting called to work. Plenty of stuff for me to do around here though. Am thinking of moving my California trip up a few days. Maybe leave this week instead of next weekend.

Dill, what a perky mood you're in this morning. It must be because the end is near. In answer to your question, I haven't traveled with my husband for years. He is not retired. He has a very well paying, low stress job where he gets to do mathematics all day (his passion). Don't see him retiring any time soon.

Whoa..just got called for a job. Guess I'd better get movin.

Morning Rust and Lav.

[ladybirdheart]

May we be sober - Week 4

Greetings! I am glad to be back and find we are all still living our lives, working through what ails us, and most of the time either finding or creating what we need. I had my 467 millionth eye appointment this morning and a contact has been ordered to see if it will straighten things out a bit so I can avoid another operation. I also now have some bizarre ?glasses? (one side is almost clear and the other is so thick my eyelashes sweep into it) that help with the computer if I am within six inches of the screen but I shall happily toss this hideous contraption if the contact works better. My household has been a huge mess as we are having the seventy year old wood floors sanded and refinished. I lost access to the computer off and on as the command station and all the wires were moved from here to there, and for a few days Lord Bird Heart was out of town and I was marooned in the archeological midden of a back bedroom with the two doggies and the cat. We are now half finished (whimper) and will start on the rest (howl) after a brief to trip to a wedding in San Francisco this weekend. I already have a couple of work assignments lined up for June which is good as the usually frugal me splurged on a wonderful piece of contemporary abstract art (actually a diptych so not one but two paintings) for Lord Bird Heart?s upcoming birthday. I can see them with my good eye and they are wonderful. I loved catching up with your posts and have lots to think about. I don?t usually ?feel? emptiness; I usually feel full of something (now that is a straight line you won?t get everyday), but perhaps as my own nest emptied so early in my life, I just don?t have this feeling as a relevant dimension. I too find the change of the seasons challenging with regard to alcohol but then I find most change challenging; I do best when things are gentle and predictable and I can move through them like a little slow dance. I could probably bore a brick. Anyway, I am relieved that our thread is perking. Love, love, love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

May we be sober - Week 4

Good evening all,

I'm back from a fun but exhausting day of babysitting. I'm no weenie but chasing an 18 month old can wear a person out quickly

LBH, so nice to see you back. I truly hope your contact lens does the job for you! I have been through the sanding of old floors in my last house - what a mess, I don't envy you a bit! Good luck!

Sped, it sounds like you are ready for your summer adventure - good for you! I hope you have a great time in California.

Dill, I had a Golden Ret. that I used to take to the groomer (he was too difficult for me to handle). I had her give him a Lab haircut every summer
Mr Lav's insanity goes on & actually seems to be getting a little worse. I just don't know what to say other than I am very sad. Thank God for grandkids

Rustop, how are you doing??

Greetings to Red, Sooty, Cyn & everyone. We are closing in on the end of another AF month - how great is that???
What will we call ourselves next month - any ideas yet?

Wishing everyone a peaceful evening. I'm going to dig out the Clearing CD & clear out some of the built-up BS in my head - hopefully I'll sleep better afterwards.

Lav

[Stargazerlily]

May we be sober - Week 4

Good idea Lav. I found some other relaxation/positive CDs and have been listening to those when I wake up in the middle of the night. They are so helpful. Love the phrases,, "appreciate and tenderness" related to self. I so seldom am appreciative and tender towards myself. My life theme is "not good enough," so it has to be a good thing to fill your being with tender words.

I have been busy with outdoor work on weekends, and playing catchup. It is hot here, actually a little too hot, and it is making me tired. Thank goodness for aircontitioning.

LBH, it is so nice to hear from you. Thanks for keeping up. Have you felt like alcohol throughout the trials of your eye surgery and aftermath?

I notice that alcohol is not brought up much on this thread, and I am struggling with being AF. Anyone else?

Good morning to all and sending you strength and hope.

[spedteach]

May we be sober - Week 4

My computer says it's 40 degrees. That's only 8 degrees above freezing!!!
At least it makes me peppier/more peppy on the run.

Morning Red, it is curious that the folks on this thread don't talk much about alcohol anymore. Shall think about that as put in the miles.

I shall return!

[dill]

May we be sober - Week 4

"I'd never trade my worst day sober for my best day drunk."
--unknown

LBH, wonderful to see your post! I hope your new contact works out. Here's reason to believe: Mr. Dill has a condition called keraticonus which affects the corneas. He has the same kind of thick lens you mentioned and recently decided to try specialized contacts. He has had to go back to the drawing board a few times, but finally has the right fit. It has been a blessing for him. The "emptiness" feeling may be from empty nest syndrome, but thing is, I reaize that should have been worked through years ago. I believe I drank through it instead of working through it. The emptiness is probably the void that al once filled and indeed, perpetuated.

Red, I'm going to switch to calling you Star if that is OK with you. You are right that al isn't mentioned much on this thread and I am struggling too. In fact I will admit to you and to everyone else that I had a mini relapse recently and didn't mention it because I didn't want to upset the applecart here. I fear that such an admission would affect other's sobriety and so I was afraid to mention it. When I say "mini" I don't mean just 2-3 drinks. I mean several drinks to the point of tottering off to bed to pass out, then not being able to remember much about the evening. You know how it plays out. Lucky for me I never drink socially anymore or I would have done something embarrassing to be sure. As it is, Mr. D was aware and bitterly disappointed and we had to work through that. My "excuse" is that I have just been under so much stress at work, and that is for sure. But I am deeply regretful and remorseful. Yes, I too am struggling. Hang in there, Star, because drinking is still more trouble for us than it is worth.

Lav, I think of you living out there in the country on your own. Do you have neighbors nearby? I absolutley love living the rural lifestyle but in all honesty, if Mr. D. were not in the picture, I could not live this way. He does the lion's share of keeping things going around here between mowing and keeping fences mended and machines working...

Sped, Your description of your husband brought a smile to my face. In my work with special needs preschoolers we often come across children who are high functioning but not at all typical. We refer to them as "being on the spectrum"(autism spectrum). They grow up and find a niche, I hope, like your husband! Of course, I am not saying your husband is on the spectrum! It just prompted that line of thought because you mentioned his doing "mathematics all day (his passion)." We just recently enrolled a 3 year old boy who recognizes all the letters of the alphabet, can count and recognize numbers to 1001, and can read some words, but it took days for him to become aware of the other children in the classroom as people, not just decor! He loves numbers so much, he sleeps with the phone book!

Sooty, Chill, Rusty and everyone who reads or checks in, have a happy AF Tuesday. Keep fighting the good fight. It's a struggle sometimes, but it is worth it!

[Chillgirl]

May we be sober - Week 4

Hi a very quick check in from me guys - I finally arrived home last night after a long and tiring trek via London and oh boy there's no place like home!

Star and Dill - Alcohol!!??

Star i struggled every single day of my vacation and came very close to caving in on numerous occasions, Dill Im sad you didnt post on your relapse when it happened, that it what we are here for and lets not ever forget it, of course its good we post on our lives in general but remaining sober is our main priority and supporting one another is parmount.

I want to say more on this subject and will check in when i have more time, my parents are here for another few days and we are off out for lunch.....

[rustop61]

May we be sober - Week 4

Hi everyone

Finally getting a few minutes to sit down at the computer. I have 6 guests coming in June, hence the major clean up. Also, its that time of year that the garden needs a huge amount of time so between the two I have not had a minute. Dill - I had the sunroom, kitchen, utility, hall and 2 bathrooms painted. I usually do a lot of that stuff myself but this gave me a boost. My God, the cleaning, where does all the dust come from. I know we have 2 dogs and that generates a lot of mess but I just did my bedroom yesterday and was amazed by what I found under the bed!!

Lav - Glad your grandchild is keeping you busy. You look after yourself, Mr Lav is his own responsibility.

Sped - Enjoy California. Did you get the job?

LBH - Welcome back, good to hear from you again.

Chill - Welcome back too.

Sooty - how are you now after your fall?

Star and Dill. Sorry you are both struggling. I think in the beginning when we join MWO, we constantly count days and talk about Al. However, as you move along and get some decent AF time under your belt, it is not quite the same obsession. However, as a few of us found out we need to be constantly vigalent. I managed to go through my trip in NY completely AF but did have urges and then after over 2 months AF I blew it the evening of my cousins mass. Therefore, I think it is important to come here and say how we are feeling. After all we are all in the same boat and nobody is judging.

Rustop

[Lavande]

May we be sober - Week 4

Good morning friends,

Slept better last night, thank goodness!
I have a Doc appointment this morning so at least my B/P should be better.

On the topic of Al - I can honestly say that I don't think about it anymore. I mentally removed it as an option a long, long time ago. It didn't help me with anything in the past so why would it help me now??
I long for mental & emotional peace.........bringing AL back into my life surely would not help me a bit. I became very aware last year that my worst triggers are sadness & lonliness & they are always brought on by the actions of Mr Lav. End of story! I will not repeat history, not for anything!

(Red)Star & Dill, I hope you guys can get through this period of time unharmed. You both deserve peace & happiness too. Stay tuned in to MWO, I think it really helps. I often click in & just read without posting anything. It's kind of like a 'shot in the arm', if you know what I mean.
I have pretty much stopped posting in the Newbies Nest where I always posted twice per day. I started feeling very disappointed reading about the same people falling out of the nest, over & over again seemingly for little to no 'reason'. We all know that there is no 'good reason' to resume drinking! If you are the type of person that can safely celebrate a special occasion with one glass of wine or champagne then by all means, go for it! But most of us can not do that for fear of reawakening the demon. I am not now in a place where I want to take that chance.

OK, enough from me, I have to go now.
Glad you arrived home safely Chill

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday.
Lav

[sooty]

May we be sober - Week 4

Hi gang lovely to see us all and welcome back LBH.
I too have been struggling lately and like Dill had a big slip last night and I am so sorry I did it. I wish I had your strength and resolve Lav but sometimes things just envelop me.
Anyway i won't depress you all, today is another day and there is no way that I'm doing it again this month so at least I can get to the end with you all.
I've been out buying plants for my patio pots today so I'm going outside to get them planted. My sore arm prevents me doing anything heavier.
Have a good day everyone
love Sooty

[spedteach]

May we be sober - Week 4

I'm back! Ready for anything with all these endorphins flowing.

Red/Star (how about Redstar), I don't think of alcohol much but that's because I'm on antabuse. My prescription has run out and there are no refills. I had thought about experimenting, trying sobriety without antabuse but with my trip coming up, I don't want to risk it. Traveling is too much of a trigger for me. Motel room and a bottle of white. So Red while I don't think about al a lot, it's always lurking there in the back of my mind, the what ifs. Will call my doc today for a refill.

Dill, please don't ever feel like you can't post anything to us. If we can't be honest here then what's the point. I'll bet you felt miserable the day after.
Very interesting, your comments about my husband and the "spectrum". My husband's family is full of people on that spectrum including full blown autism. Also interesting, my husband also has keratoconus but has done nothing about it. When you have time could you PM me and tell me about treatments your husband has tried.
And the country, I wished I lived in the country. Did anyone ever read Country magazine?

Rust, I with you. Where does all that dust come from? Actually I know since I live in the middle of a desert and we've had an incredibly windy spring.

Can't wait to hear more about your trip Chill. What's the status of your relationship? Aren't I nosey!

Lav, I know what you mean about longing for emotional and mental peace. For me, I can't just sit back and assume that's going to just come to me. I feel like I need to do things like exercise, travel, yoga, to get some peace into my life.

LBH, so proud of you for posting.

Full day of subbing, therapy, tutoring, and dinner at a casino.

Keep it real.

[sooty]

May we be sober - Week 4

Hello all, a good day was had here, the kettle is on and I'm off to bed soon with a hot chocolate and my library book.
Hope we're all doing well - I'm back in the driving seat
Sooty