Journey through June - week 1

[Chillgirl]

Journey through June - week 1

Its so nice to see so many dropping by today, Sooty looks like a full bus this month!

Lav - Sorry about your chicken, what is the average age they live too?

Rustop - I've decided to have a real spring clean and get rid of half my belongings, Im starting with my CDs and busy copying them onto my computer, its taking a long time but will be nice when they are gone together with my CD player.

Rusty - 3 cities in 4 days.. wow you are one busy girl! I have a visual of you as Miss glamorous business woman in your pin stipped suit and briefcase...

Im still feeling extremely under the weather and got little sleep after coughing all night long, I dont like taking medication so has anyone got any home remedies for a persistant cough?

[spedteach]

Journey through June - week 1

Morning all,
Chill thanks so much for sharing the story about the AA girl drinking at the cafe, claiming it was okay but in reality, tearing her up. It broke my heart to read it. That anxiety and guilt I carry about my drinking keeps me sober. I had to stop forgiving myself for drinking. I had to get mad at myself. I had to stop rationalizing about how it didn't really matter, it was just a slip. Sorry if I'm sounding harsh.

I'm on my trip, in Arizona. Feel like I'm drinking, holed up in a motel room, curtains drawn, watching day time TV. Eating tons of Fruit Loops from the lobby. Realized while driving yesterday that this trip is not really a vacation. This trip's main purpose is to put distance between me and my husband. Feel like I'm just putting off the inevitable which is to move out.

Okay going to regroup here. Get out of this room, get in the car and drive west. Very blue mood.

Lav, feeling like I might sound like Mr. Lav. Sorry.

[Chillgirl]

Journey through June - week 1

spedteach;873802 wrote: That anxiety and guilt I carry about my drinking keeps me sober. I had to stop forgiving myself for drinking. I had to get mad at myself. I had to stop rationalizing about how it didn't really matter, it was just a slip. Sorry if I'm sounding harsh.

Sped - I love your phrase "I had to stop forgiving myself..." this says it so perfectly. Im sorry you are feeling blue :l

[ladybirdheart]

Journey through June - week 1

Hi fellow June travelers. I am back from San Francisco (heavens if I lived there I fear I would actually pop from eating all of the outstanding food), and I am now getting back into the rhythm of home. I am comfortable not drinking these days, particularly as I am nice and warm, but I also know that every month or two I become cavalier and have a drink in a controlled environment. The fact that nothing bad has come of it is a mixed blessing and one that I can?t count on. Hi Shelley, hug a palm tree for me (and yes I am looking forward to dressing you up, you little doll); Hi dear Lav, I am glad you gave your chicken a nice long life, people often underestimate how cool those firm-and-fully-packed birdies are; Dill and Redstar, I am so glad you are here with me as we figure out why we haven?t let all the way go; I am so glad you are back, Lodes, I missed you and now we get to do this together again:l; Hi Chill, I am glad you are home getting well and making such good sense as usual; Hi Cyn when you get here; Hi Sooty and Spuddle and Mstall and Rusty and Rustop and all to come. I thank everybody for your words every day; carving out an alcohol free life requires all sorts of tools and one never knows what ideas, reflections, or experiences will anchor us to the truth. Peace and love, Ladybird.

[Lavande]

Journey through June - week 1

FYI

My hens are Buff Orpingtons - average life span 4-5 years can go up to 10!
Here's a website with nice pictures - they look exactly like my 'girls'

BackYardChickens - Raise Chickens, Build a Chicken Coop, Hatch Eggs

Hope everyone has a great evening
LBH - welcome back!

[Chillgirl]

Journey through June - week 1

Good Morning Gang

Lav - Nice chickens, I used to have a couple of white ones when I was a kid, no idea what type they were, I called them Mork & Mindy.

Its going to be hot again here today, yesterday I had my 1st proper swim in the pool which was still heavenly at 7pm last night. Im looking forward to summer and long hot balmy nights. It will be strange sitting out on the terrace without a glass of wine in my hand but I feel like im going to experience it for real this summer for the 1st time in my adult life. There are always lots of summer parties here for the tourist and yes, i will go to some but it will be nice to come home early and be in bed for midnight instead of the usual 3/4am in the morning... Waking up dehydrated after 4hrs sleep in baking heat is certainly something I will NEVER miss.

Wishing you all a wonderful AF Tuesday.

[spuddleduck]

Journey through June - week 1

great start to the month chill, love the positive words. junes a good month for new growth and new starts so lets get to it.

[rustop61]

Journey through June - week 1

Good morning everyone

Wow, everybody sounds so positive and inspired for the month of June. The thread is much busier too which makes it all the more interesting. Sorry to hear about chuck Lav. Like you Chill we had chickens when I was a kid. Rhode island reds I think they were called. The baby chicks would arrive every spring and they were adorable. I did think about getting some but if you let them roam free around the garden, all I can think about is the mess!! With 2 dogs, the cat and the rabbit I think I have enough mess, oh and a pony but that's at a livery yard.

Another beautiful morning, just finished walk and am off out into the garden for a while.

Catch you all later.

Rustop

[Stargazerlily]

Journey through June - week 1

Good morning all.

Chill, loved your story about the female drinking and trying to justify to herself that it is OK. I think the rationalizing is part of our denial for a time. When you are sober, you can see how unhealthy the behavior really is......and sad.

I am taking a really long time to heal this time physically. Still have pain on my right side, but emotionally I am stable. I forgot how bad the anxiety and depression are, the effect on the central nervous system is hell. It is taking me so long to feel better.

Sped, I appreciate the idea of not making excuses for drinking alcohol and no longer forgiving yourself as it becomes a crutch and part of the cycle. Remaining AF takes a strong mind and having tools to stay on track. It was interesting to me that you are thinking of distancing yourself from you significant other. Is this permanent or part of the way everyone feels about someone they live with? I know sometimes I just need a break from my husband, to much togetherness is not always good.

I have a long weekend coming up and I am determined to stay AF. I DON'T DRINK, will be my mantra. Also, I need to remember the joy of being AF. Feeling good physically and emotionally. I was so depressed on MOnday, it was ridiculous, and fueled by alcohol. I remember in the past, I would plan my time in detail to ensure that I would notget to HALT. I will do that again. If I get the urge I will eat something, talk to someone, or take a nap first. Then reevaluate. I think I need to again create a negative memory from recent days and bring it back when the insanity hits me again.

LBH, so happy to hear from you, sounding healthy and at peace.

MStall, it is great to have you back.

Today is a busy day for me and I am happy to have alot to do, to be useful and productive, AF. Sending you peace and hope.

[dill]

Journey through June - week 1

Good morning!
Sooty, how are your peas doing? We now have peas that are ready to pick. MMMM!
Mstall, great to have you join us!
Rusty, I am neither a teacher nor a professor. I am a Speech Therapist working in the public school setting. My primary population is the preschool set, although I also work with other grades as well. The reason I asked you what Edon was is because we have a town close to here called Enon. It?s about 20 minutes from here. Your job sounds challenging and somewhat stressful. It sounds that way to me because I am not keen on travel.
Rustop, what you said about ?acceptance? is true for me, too. I also agree with what you said about not hitting ?rock bottom? as it relates to acceptance. I have hit my own personal bottom, but not any kind of public event. I?m forever grateful for that, but it does make the acceptance harder I think.
Chill, I have no magic remedies for the coughing. I?m sorry. I have no problem taking pharmaceuticals when I am sick, especially since I am so rarely sick. I?m a big baby when I don?t feel well!
Sped, I?m glad you checked in from the road. Sadly, I felt the emptiness and loneliness of the motel room. It was a good analogy for active drinking. I?m sorry you are going through the struggles you are as relates to your marriage. I hope this trip gives you time and space to figure out what you want and need.
LBH, did you complete work on the stone wall? How does it look? Can you post a picture of it?
Cyn?
Lav, looking at those Buff made me miss the days when we used to keep chickens. They were work to care for, but they were fun to watch and of course, the eggs were wonderful. We used to keep a variety of hens, but almost all laid brown eggs. We had one breed that laid green eggs. (Aracuana)
Hi Spuddle!
Star, I wish I could figure a way to remember how awful the affects of drinking are when I get that notion that I can "moderate". As you said, the amnesia is amazing. I am going to keep working really hard at 'playing it through to the end' when I get the notion to drink. It worked for me at that graduation party and it worked for me yesterday, too. I reminded myself yesterday about how awful I could potentially feel in the morning and that I had too much work ahead of me to risk it. Lil always talked about "playing the tape through to the end". BTW, I miss Lil. I haven't heard from her in weeks.
Peace and strength to all.

[Lavande]

Journey through June - week 1

Good morning everyone!

Getting ready for a full day of watching my grandson while his Mom is in class.
Still hot & sunny here so outdoor time will be limited - I can only take so much heat
Will check back in later.

Happy Humpday Sooty!

[spedteach]

Journey through June - week 1

Wow what a busy, busy thread!
I am in a much better place this morning. Lounging at my son's apartment. Decided to skip my side trip to Vegas and head strait for CA. Where the boys are! Seeing my sons always makes me so happy. Seems like all I do when I'm here is eat a meal with them and then go do something to while away the hours until we eat again!

I had a curious experience right before I left for this trip. Wanted to take along a journal and ended up looking at some of my old ones. 14 years ago I was talking about getting out of my marriage. 10 years ago i was connecting staying in an unhappy marriage to my drinking. Feels like my problem has been glaring me in the face for years and I've let it. That should read problems, my marriage and my drinking. Ironically today is my wedding anniversary..29 years!

Dill, Green eggs...sounds fascinating. And your note about playing the tape all the way through. That has helped me thru some tough spots. I miss Lil too. It's been weeks since I've heard a peep out of her.

Redstar, that amnesia thing is so tricky. I tried everything. I carried an index card around listing all the terrible things I had done while drinking. I hung the clothes I wore when I got a DWI on my closest door so I would never drink again. I even asked my son to video tape me when I had been drinking all day so I could see what an awful effect al has on me. None of these things worked, at least not for long.

I am so happy to be sober today. I am so sad that it took me so long to get to this point.

Hey, it's almost time for lunch.

Chill, if I ever get chickens I'm going to name them Mork and Mindy!

[mollyka]

Journey through June - week 1

Hello Everyone here, really enjoyed reading through the thread, would love to join you all for an AF June if you'll have me?!
Molly

[Doggygirl]

Journey through June - week 1

Chill, I love the affirmation you started things off with! Great posts from everyone. Let's rock it AF in June. No drinking for me today, that's for sure.

That "just one" thinking is so amazing in it's BS on every level. Even if I COULD drink just one and stop, when was "one" ever satisfying anyway? What I REALLY want when that thinking creeps in is to drink excessively without any negative consequences. And that's just never going to happen.

Have a fabulous rest of the day everyone!

DG

[Lavande]

Journey through June - week 1

Does anyone need any broccoli?????

I just came in from doing the first cutting & I have a LOT!!! Guess I'll blanch it & freeze it tomorrow

Wow, I am tired after a full day with my little best friend. Think we should both be able to sleep well tonight.

Red, hope you are feeling better & stronger tonight.

Shelley, glad to hear you are settled in with good company - enjoy

Green eggs Dill???? That would freak me out!!!

Hi Molly, Hi DG!

Time to relax for a while. Wishing everyone a good night!
Lav