What does a slip mean?

[ThisWayOut]

Hi Anyone,

Please, I have a question. If you slip does it mean that you are now a drinker? The reason I ask I have been AF since Feb 9th and really have grow to love AF life. I have accomplished a lot in that time and was feeling so so good - every thing was on track with more improvements and good things to come - plus the desire for drinking seemed to go away completely. Then unfortunately for me, on Friday, I slipped, then yesterday Slipped again. But here is the thing, this reason I was able to be AF since Feb was I convinced my mind that I don't drink, I am not a drinker and I will never drink for the "rest of my life". Period. It was the "rest of my life" thinking that gave me peace of mind and was able to effectively squash the monster inside and put drinking totally behind me - thats when new Life started for me. But, since I slipped, I am having a hard time using this method again, because these words seem so hollow now. So, what do I do now? Is there another thought I can put into my brain that would be just as effective? Or should I go back to "rest of my life" technique even though I already broke the promise? Do you get a second chance with this method? I need help thinking this though - I am getting scared. Thank you.

TWO

[dancelot]

What does a slip mean?

I think that's the reasoning behind ODAT. Even when we are committed to abstinence, call ourselves a non drinker, thoughts, situations, etc, do come up. Sometimes not very often, and we go contentedly along.

I think the thing is not to act when the urge comes. I would go back to "just for today I will be sober" or "just for this hour, or minute", if it comes to that. I would watch the "throw the baby out with the bathwater" thinking - that is a sure course to a full blown relapse. That's how they start for a lot of us. Maybe appearing to do OK, and keep consumption minimal. The problem is, over a period of days or a couple weeks, it's off to the races again and way out of control again.

Do you know what triggered it? Sometimes it's unconscious thoughts, or a place or situation. I felt very close to giving in around Christmas, and it caught me totally off guard. Identifying the triggers, going back to and upping my supplements, and just plain riding out the feelings which lasted a couple of weeks was what worked. I also looked into if I could be doing more work on myself, such as learning different coping skills.

I personally am committed to lifelong sobriety, but is it ever guaranteed? No. I can only deal with this day, or hour, or minute, or fleeting thought and not act on it. I will be guaranteed sobriety only as long as I deal with life on life's terms, and always find an alternative to AL for dealing with anything, good or bad.

Good luck - I hope you get right back on track. It's a positive sign you realize the seriousness of the situation. While not taking "slips" lightly, remember we cannot change the past. We can learn from it, and do what it takes so that it is less likely to happen again. Take care. :h

[Cinders]

What does a slip mean?

TWO,

First of all, here is a link to "Sober Recovery" discussion about this. Read into it what you like:

Slip or Relapse..... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Secondly, many, many people here have "slipped/relapsed" despite best intentions otherwise.

Someone once posted, and I can't remember who, that recovery is a process, not an event.

Do not be an "all or nothing" person on this. Also, do not say, well, I can come back after being drunk and ask forgiveness. The forgiveness is within your heart and soul.

We all want to be sober. You, me, and myriad others who have joined this site.

Do not denigrate the time you spent being sober, nor minimize the amount of time you drank.

However, do not look back to the past as the precusor to the future.

Just keep on doing the next right thing. If you don't do that, do the next right thing at the next step.

I do not know much more than to tell you that.

Life is a process and not an event. Let's make our choices the right ones more often than the wrong ones.

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

What does a slip mean?

Hi ThisWayOut. Good for you coming here and posting your questions right away. You are smarter than I was! I too started out this journey believing that I had to swear off AL forever. I had a relapse after 60 days AF. In retrospect, there was a lot going on subconsciously in that decision to drink. I too was really enjoying my AF time! I think my addicted mind wanted a fix, and also still wanted to convince me that moderation was possible. (hahahahahaha) That "just one" quickly took me back to drinking the same was I used to drink. I realized very quickly what a mistake it had been for me to drink, but like you describe, I couldn't seem to stop once I had started up again. It felt like I couldn't get my AF mind set back.

It really took a "One Day at a Time" approach to finally (after 8 more months of drinking misery!) to get me back on the wagon. I never really understood "One Day At A Time" until that relapse. Now I've found that for me, it's the right approach. I hope to be sober forever, but the only sure way for me is to deal with today, and then worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

I hope you are able to get back on the wagon straight away.

DG

[ThisWayOut]

What does a slip mean?

Thank you all for your thoughtful advise. I am printing out and studying it. I am committed and don't believe in excuses (only explanations). So, I am back on wagon - a bit shaken up - but back on wagon none the less. I just have to learn from this and make any/all changes so it wont happen again. So, I take you advise with all seriousness. Thanks for this information it is what I needed to think through. In the meantime, I am a water drinker. No AL - Period.

Any other advise, is greatly appreciated also.

TWO

[spuddleduck]

What does a slip mean?

simalar story here thisway. i was sober from feb 21 and really loving being AF. slipped big time on may 19 and then again a week later. really not sure why, i think i was testing myself, though i cant say that for the second time. i think i lost my focus and became complacent. im now back to thinking one day at a time, focussing on how happy i was being AF. if i slip i will get back up and continue. im not giving myself an excuse to slip and have no intention of drinking again but i dont want it to make me feel negative. we have both done brilliantly and must keep that thought going strong. i cant call myself a non drinker yet but im working very hard at it. good luck

[mario]

What does a slip mean?

Sometimes people who have had a slip are ashamed of themselves-sometimes so ashamed that they fear to come back here.
They develop the old inferiority complex and tell themselves that they are no good,that they have let down there friends here and elsewhere,that they are hopeless & that they can never make it,This state of mind is perhaps worse than it was originally intended,They have been somewhat weakened by there slip,but there experience of logging on here is not entirely lost.They always know that they can stop again if they really want to,they know that there is still great help & advice here if they will ask for it because nobody entirely escapes temptation,You must expect it and be ready for it when it comes,You must try & keep your defences up by positive thoughts,the first step toward conquering temptation always is to see it in your mind,dissociate yourself from it,put it out of your mind as soon as it appears,do not think of excuses for yielding to it,come here for help.

[ThisWayOut]

What does a slip mean?

Wow, I turned it around by changing my thoughts. Fortunately, I had been reading many books and material on changing/controlling your thoughts and self-mind control and also education about these concepts from a dear friend. So, I was able prevent a hard fall and relapse and now I am so positive and on track! Wow, I feel good and looking forward to my continued abstinence for the rest of my life. I again squashed "it" - the "monster" or "additive voice" inside. It is now back in its rightful place - under my boot. It does not have a chance! Abstinence for life is mine again. How can this be? I believe it to be, so it is! Simple, but true. Amazing! Thanks the sounding board, TWO.