Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

[Chillgirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Hi - loving reading this thread!

DG your story about "outing" is really interesting. Im only a newbie with 5 months sober but I can remember in the 1st weeks how consumed I was with what everyone else would be thinking and saying about me not drinking. On my 1st trips to AA I just fell short of wearing a false beard! Now I cant believe I gave time and energy to something that is way out of my control anyway. Wayne Dyer uses a great phrase "what you think of me is none of my business". I dont shout it from the rooftops but now if I get into a personal conversation with someone on a one to one I am happy to discuss my sobriety.

Johnny Im so glad you found your 1st meeting and I truely think AA is going to help you so much. Maybe later in the week you can call that gentleman.... :l

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Johnny: I came into AA in March 2009 after an ugly drinking incident. I am an older woman who got a male sponsor. He was/is a family friend & the only AA member I knew. He helped me during the first year go through the 12 steps. In my opinion, they are impossible to do on your own. Now, I've developed a circle of women friends who have years in the program. When the time comes for me to go through the steps again, I know who I can ask. Keep going to different kinds of meetings (step, discussion, Big Book, etc.), & your questions will clear up.

Last night's "Burning Desire" discussion was so wonderful. It was just what I needed to get through this crisis I'm in. Someone talked about the meetings getting "stale & routine." I honestly don't feel that way about my meetings. I look forward to them...sometimes they are the highlight of my day. I stressed the need (for me) to really get involved in service & w/other members. That's what keeps me from feeling like just passively going to meetings is boring or routine. I know (for sure) that if I stop going to meetings, my vulnerability to relapse is very great.

Mary

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Hi, everyone -

Johnny and Chillgirl, nice to see you here! This is a great thread whether one goes to AA or not. Kind of like AA, it's there and always welcoming.

Johnny, I love the thread you started (15 points to consider....) in general discussion. That is one thing I love about AA - it is not possible to attend any meeting and not come out with something of value.

One a attended recently was on the topic of the little sayings. They sometimes sound a little hokey on the surface, but looking at any there's something to learn. ODAT, an Attitude of Gratitude, HALT are some of my favorites. I always love the Serenity Prayer - I was talking to another attendee one time and he made the point that it really covers just about any situation in life. I find that to be so true, and on stressful days I find I'm saying that over and over to myself. Even if someone who is a nonbeliever, it's just such good wise words of common sense, and is useful whether one calls it a prayer or a saying. Anyway, the point is, it's great you are sharing this on this forum. Many newbies haven't heard any of this before. I know when I was new here, I picked up bits and pieces here and there. I didn't even know HALT came from AA sayings, but it was such a great one, and made so much sense in a few words.

Chillgirl, I like that saying "What you think of me is none of my business". I don't go shouting about it either, but the further along I get, the less I care what anyone thinks. I don't think I'd feel uncomfortable discussing it with anyone either. I think that comes with acceptance - even that is evolving apparently - getting more and more comfortable with one's own self - all of it!

DG, your story about the homeless guy was amazing. How we grow as people through AA is amazing. I see people very differently now - when we realize that homeless addict on the street corner is maybe not so removed from us.

Mary, it is good to hear how you are getting through your crisis. I am so glad you have a good support system through AA and your own family.

Great posts as usual, everyone - sometimes there's so much food for thought here it's hard to know where to jump in. I appreciate everyone's contributions and read this thread every day, even when I don't post. Hope everyone has a great week! :h

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Hello fellow travelers, and special welcome Johnny! Feel free to post whatever questions or thoughts or comments you have. I think Cindi's summary of the role of a sponsor is very good. The only difference in my neck of the woods is that asking if someone needs a sponsor is not officially part of the meetings I attend either. Usually if someone is looking for a sponsor, they will speak up. It is also common where I go for the initial relationship to be deemed "temporary" until BOTH parties agree that the sponsor / sponsee relationship is working out. It might not be a bad idea to get to know some of the men a little bit before you engage one as a sponsor. It's a close relationship and IMO should be arranged with care.

Gaia, a very important concept in AA is that to stay sober myself, I am to help other alcoholics. That is really the foundation of AA. The history is an interesting read. In some ways, not much has changed in the hospitals - unless of course you have money. Alcholism is not well understood and treatment options are limited. Sometimes all we have is each other. While this experience HAS been emotional, it has not been bad. I am learning and growing from it. As one of the guys said to me this morning, I am destined to help many people if I stay active in AA. Everything I learned from this experience will just make me stronger to help others in the future.

Chill, isn't it amazing how the "secret" feels so much less "dirty" after some sober time....well, and for me, a lot less like something that needs to be SECRET or ELSE. I am who I am for better and worse, good and bad. I am working to become a better person - a person who is more interested in serving others than serving myself. I have a long way to go, but that's the direction I am working on. The fact that I am a recovering alcoholic is just that - a fact - one of many that is just part of what makes up "me" as a person.

Sister is a nun, and she is my sponsor. We are the odd couple for sure!

The hospital discharched my friend yesterday afternoon. I was disappointed with myself this morning, because my friend tried to call my late afternoon, and I missed the call. I didn't get the message until this morning. I was also mad at the hospital (and still am!) because I had them write on his paperwork to call me when he was discharged for a ride. The hospital didn't do that. It's the least they could have done. If they were supposed to call me to give my father a ride after surgery, and did not do so, and just put him out on the street they would get sued.

Anyway....I have no idea where he is today. It appears he did not try to get to the mission which is sad, but I cannot control the outcomes in these situations. I have learned a lot about the ins and outs of the hospital system and how harsh it is for the homeless alcoholic. I feel like seeing the ugly underbelly of alcoholism is only making me more determined to not drink, and more determined to do as the Big Book says and help others. I have always been willing to help when it's easy. Not so much when it's hard. I have to work on that.

I am grateful for my friends in AA. One of the sober homeless guys and another "street savvy" guy (both with over 15 years of sobriety) talked to me this morning and helped me work through my emotions about this situation. I am grateful to them. They helped me stay grounded in the fact that I can only control my own actions - I cannot control outcomes. They also helped me deal with another issue that I was angry about - the fact that yesterday I asked for help from a man in the group (this was at a meeting) and nobody stepped up. We are all at a different place in our recovery and everyone is not prepared to deal with the "underbelly" of the world where a homeless alcoholic dwells. I can't be angry about that - I can only focus on my own recovery and my own actions and what *I* am able to give - not what others are or are not prepared to give.

Life is good. I am grateful to be sober today. In yesterdays Big Book meeting, we read this story. http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_t...earlyall13.pdf It is about a woman whose real bad problems with alcohol didn't manifest until later in her life. And she was very resistant to change. I could identify with things in this story as always. Step Coach had me read this story last summer. I had highlighted a line towards the end of the story where she said "Today I count it as a priviledge to help another alcoholic." In addition to the highlight, I wrote a note in the margin "I want to get there." Ironic, huh?

Anyway, today is my Sunday groups picnic so I will zoom zoom as there is much to do. Have a wonderful sober day everyone.

Beth

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Oh Johnny, (or anyone!) in case you haven't seen these links...

Big Book Online

Daily Recovery Readings

I encourage you to call the guy who gave you his number, and arrange to meet him for coffee. That is common and encouraged in AA - to greet a newcomer and offer them friendship. I was way too shy about picking up the phone ealry on and taking advantage of that opportunity. So don't be shy!!! When they offer their phone number and encourage you to call, they really mean it.

DG

[johnnyh]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Great posts. I think I'm really going to enjoy this thread. It's a lot more in depth then some of the other stuff on the forum allthough I enjoy those as well. There's a time and a place for everything I guess.

I have all the intentions to give the gentleman a call this week. He seemed a very nice guy. Very open and honest.
I understand the sponsorhip issue a little better now and understand that I need to get to a couple of meetings, get to know some people first.

I'm looking forward to making frienships with like minded people. As our pastor recently said, steel sharpens steel. You need to sourround yourself with the right people to do well 'to stay sharp'.

I'm happy that through the thread I started in General I can share some of the things that I have allready picked up and are so usefull with others. that as myself have for years not considered the AA. Or where to scared to go, etc.... I really value that AA concept of helping others overcome their struggles as well and it's in anycase deeply entrenched in my believe system as a born again christian.

I share a passion for homeless ppl DG actually. I'm through my church part of a group that goes to a shelter every second week for bible study/discussion groups. A lot of them struggle with Alcoholism as well and it is my passion to share with them my journey and that though I might seem in a lot better place in terms of having a home, work, etc. We're not that unlike after all. We share the same burden of Alcoholism.

Thanks you DG for the links as well. I was not aware of these so am very gratefull.

I do realise that I should have probably started a new week thread for this but wanted to post this in response to your responses.

Have a great week everyone!!!

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

So much good information in last weeks thread. I missed a day or two and still haven't completed reading it all.
I am amazed with all the wisdom here. Thanks to everyone.

Winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

The homeless man died last week....

The homeless man that I talked about here on this thread in 2009 died last week. He suffered from alcoholism most of his life. He found recovery for almost two years once. Then he relapsed when his mother passed away. He went through many, many hospital detoxes since that time but could not hold onto recovery ever again.

Alcohol kills.

I hope I never take my sobriety for granted. If I let it go, who knows if I will ever get it back. There is NO reason to drink. No reason good enough to throw my life away for.

R.I.P. Bobby

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Thanks DG for bumping this up. I read through the whole thread. I'm so sorry about Bobby. Our groups just had a similar loss. He was a guy I had seen when I first entered program in '09. I then didn't see him for quite a while. When he finally came back shortly before his death, he was yellow from liver failure. It's so baffling how a person can have recovery, then lose it. I absolutely must understand that this disease is not dead in me. I'm a drink away from starting all over again. Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

Hi Mary. I'm sorry to hear that you lost someone recently too. It's such a sad reminder of what we are dealing with.

Sobriety can be lost in an instant. All it would take is for me to act upon a fleeting thought that in some situation, "a drink" would be OK. I hope to never test those waters.

DG

[Unwasted]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 7 - 13

DG, so sad - a new story every day, every minute actually, of someone whose life is lost on some level to alcohol.