Journey thru June - Week 2

[Stargazerlily]

Good morning to all JtJ's. I had a great weekend, staying sober and enjoying family. It was great to be AF and enjoy all my family and friends. I am determined to continue on this path.

Yesterday was a lovely day here in the Midwest. I mean just beautiful and I enjoyed being outside, having the house open, and getting my house in order after being away. Today, back to work. I have to say I feel refreshed and rested. I really needed some time off.

Today, I commit to being AF.

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Good Morning Star, are you not up very early this morning?! Its only 11.30 here in Europe...
Anyway thank you for being the only one to realize that its now week 2 of June :H
I've been for a 20km cycle and had coffee with a girlfriend.... lovely breeze here today!

I saw my ex husband from a distance, he still makes my heart leap....and I guess after 20 years he always will. Im sure some of you will have read the book EAT PRAY LOVE, there is a great passage when she tells her friend how she cant get over someone because she believes they were her soulmate:-
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and thats what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything thats holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah, too painful! Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer to you, and then they leave......"

I try hard to practice acceptance every day as I know its such an important aspect of life but its not always easy :upset: only in my sobriety am i beginning to see the mirror he is to me, the problem is I just want to fix him too....

[dill]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Good morning, Star and Chill,

Thanks for the start to week 2, Star! I'm really glad you enjoyed your visit with your family. That's wonderful!

Chill, it is way early for me to digest your thoughts on a soul mate. I'm going to have to come back later and reread it.:H

OK, I need to get moving early today for work. Let's make it another AF day!

[Lavande]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Good moring June friends,

Glad to see you Red(Star), Chill & Dill
Beautiful weather here today, windows open, AC off.

I have a large embroidery job to start but not until after I get my hair cut - some things are just more important than others!!

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday - I'll be back later.

Lav

[Gaia]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Hello Star, Chill, Dill, and more to come,
Star you sound in good spirits. Spring is so wonderful, indeed. And now summer is upon us. How time passes.
Chill, wow a 20 km ride! In one day? I liked your piece about soul mates - and remark that your heart still leaps when you see your ex. I wonder what you call a mate who stays? Not a soul mate? A body mate? No, that makes no sense... Why do they have to leave? OOOh I am irked by relationships at the moment and just confused, never mind my rambling.
Dill enjoy your day.
Lav you are right - you have to prioritize!

Best to all.

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Gaia;880974 wrote: Why do they have to leave?

Gaia thats the hard part... when I met this man I was so consumed by him that I actually wanted to be him. To have ended up marrying him was a dream come true and the happiness I experienced is more than most have in a lifetime. Now from a distance I see his flaws more clearly but love him despite them. He was my hero but is struggling with alcoholism which is destroying him, I get to watch in agony but am no longer part of his life and therefore am powerless to help. He mirrors to me what I was becoming and what I could never have escaped if Id stayed. I can only pray that now I can be his mirror and if he sees how I have turned my life around maybe he can too..... I love him so much

[sooty]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Hi folks, good to see you all. Chill your relationship with your ex sounds fascinating - lets hope he does turn his life around and that you will be his inspiration.
Beautiful day here, just how June ought to be. I've been taxi driver all morning, having a little rest now till I'm required to take daughter and boyfriend out for a meal with friends tonight. Its good to be AF and to be able to do these things.
Hope everyone's Tuesday is going well. Back soon
love Sooty

[spedteach]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Morning,
Chill I love that book. Listened to it on CD, read by the author. Wonderful. Maybe your ex will quit drinking and you two will be reunited. Sounds like the love of a lifetime.

I am getting ready to walk out the door to go exploring up north for a few days. Made a random reservation at a well reviewed motel in Cambria, CA, just south of Big Sur. Tomorrow night with friends in Santa Cruz. Son #2's graduation is Friday.

After all this af time I feel myself pining for a chilled chardonnay on the beach. Said it before, summer is tough.

LBH, maybe you should vacate your house just to get away from the floor finishers' dust. Am not missing the heat you're having one bit.

Have an excellent day everyone.

[ladybirdheart]

Journey thru June - Week 2

I certainly can appreciate what you are going through, Chill. I long ago left a man whose lifestyle would have meant the end of me and although I went on with living my life well, YEARS later when I learned in passing from a mutual acquaintance that this man had recently married and had a baby I passed out, actually fainted dead away in a department store. A sinking ship. Some bonds are just like that. You take care:heart:.

Thank you for starting us out nicely, Star. I am just putting one foot in front of the other today, doing what needs to be done and not letting my mind lead me far from the moment or play its clever or tedious tricks. Some days are just like that. Enjoy Cambria, Shell, I love it there. Hi Dill, Lav, Sooty, Gaia, and all. Love, Ladybird.

[Gaia]

Journey thru June - Week 2

(((((Chill)))))
I think you are doing the right thing. You can't save him by staying with him, but you are helping yourself and then showing him how he can be helped, if he wants to be.
Still, loving and not sharing a life hurts.
So sorry, my dear. You are brave.

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - Week 2

spedteach;881241 wrote: Maybe your ex will quit drinking and you two will be reunited. Sounds like the love of a lifetime.

Sped - When I read your words it seemed funny how simple they look in back & white compared to the reality of being apart for 6 years and him being settled in a long term relationship with someone else. But actually you just never know....

Re that chardonny, my old fav too... try fast forwarding the glamorous picture in your mind by a few hours and it doesnt look so pretty!

LBH - Fainting! It sounds like the scene from a movie, he must have meant so much to you.

Gaia - I've loved him for 20 years and will for the next 20! Had a little cry today... usually im fine but when I caught a glimpse of him this morning it was the 1st time id seen him in over a month and he will have got the postcard by now I sent him from Cape Cod.

Sorry Gals for all this sentiment today, this journey is always throwing suprises.....

[ladybirdheart]

Journey thru June - Week 2

I need to close up the room where my computer is for two or three days so I bid you adieu and wish you all the fine things that sustained sobriety can bring before I go ?dark?. A couple of young gentlemen from Samoa just left, enormous and sweet fellows who actually PICKED UP a very large, ancient, walnut upright grand piano and PUT IT BY HAND on a dolly to move along with other heavy things into the garage (we are not moving house, Chill, instead we are grinding down seventy year old white oak floors for refinishing), and, in funny contrast, an art guy also came for some glass wall pieces that need more appropriate protection than me putting them in a closet with bath towels. For a little house, this is complicated. Now, everything is out of the last two rooms we are working on, and they are lovely and bare, beautiful in their structure, all windows and glass paned doors. I wish I could empty my mind and fill it like a gallery with only things I love. All of you positive thinkers send me skills, I feel a bit lost. Love, Ladybird.

[rustop61]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Good morning everyone

Just a quick check in as I have to do my chauffering. Exams start today so lots of butterflies around!!
Dull morning but hopefully it will pick up. Catch you all later.

Rustop

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Good Morning Rustop and all to come,

LBH you should have been a poet! This is the most beautiful analogy....

ladybirdheart;881691 wrote: I wish I could empty my mind and fill it like a gallery with only things I love.

The great news is you can! It takes practise but once you get into the habit of doing it, it becomes an automatic reaction. Every time you have a negative thought, imagine the mind police inside your head immediately saying STOP! You then repalce the thought immediately with a positive one, it can be the silliest thing as long as its positve, like "oh I just love the smell of fresh coffee or Im so glad I have such great friends". Every single time there is a negative thought replace it. It can be quite a fun game too.

Another method when you start to feel a bit blue is to think of someone you love and who brings you joy, (I use my dog!) think about how happy they make you, how much you love having them in your life, spend a good few minutes thinking about them, usually by now Im feeling a bit of a glow inside and a smile has crossed my face. Try to anchor that feeling inside of you.

Im going to use the image today that your quote conjures up for me, my mind is a beautiful spacious gallery and Im only going to allow things inside it that make me feel good!

[Stargazerlily]

Journey thru June - Week 2

Wow, good thoughts on this thread; about love, soul mates, relationships, ways to think to help us on our journey.

Chill, the love you have for your ex sounds like the love of a lifetime. How wonderful and tragic to love someone like that. You are so courageous in willing yourself to leave to follow your own path. I really admire you....but it is still not easy. It brought a smile to my face, your strategy to continually fill your mind with positive thoughts, how healthy and helpful. I will try to do that today, and every day.

LBH, your story about loving someone so deeply was beautiful too. You sound as if you are struggling emotionally, having your house torn up is no fun and really unsettling. Try with me to fill your mind with things and people you love and give you pleasure. I'll try too.

I'm struggling, as my family member left this morning and we went out and I had wine last night. Big mistake, did not overdue it, but just don't understand reason I don't leave it alone. So, back to day one again.