AF Daily - Thursday June 10

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Gaia;883134 wrote: Greenie have you been watching Alias reruns?

No, what is that? A TV series?

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Good morning, Abbers,

Kate, I apologize in advance for stirring up a pot yesterday. That was not my intention. I truly thought I could disagree with something said and it would be okay to do so. Apparently not.

However, it is over and I forge on.

Lav, I am so sorry things are going so badly for you with the husband. It sounds like he has done this before. Was he trying to quit drinking and perhaps failed and doesn't want to live with it in front of you? I believe it is extremely difficult for two drinkers who live together to both quit because of the dynamics. Anyhow, I hope things brighten up for you soon.

Chill, I have got to agree with the others who recommend you avoid having any alcohol in the house. I know that many times I have relapsed has been because I have been around others who drink. That alcoholic brain thinks "Oh, I can have a few with friends." Yeah, right. Remember, these are normal drinkers. My husband has absolutely no issue about not drinking. He can take it or leave it and is more than happy to leave it to support my journey.

Greenie, Hubby wants to take me to a 3-D movie ever since he took our granddaughter to see some movie about a Dragon, I can't remember the name. He was very impressed. I imagine Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland will be great fun.

DG, what is the issue with the phone you can't figure out how to get around?

LVT, I used to lose it with my teens years ago. They can be so trying.

Gaia, You do sound better each day.

Marshy, I haven't had a chance to read the post everyone was referring to but I do have to say we should speak our minds. It is a balancing act between being too harsh or too soft. I have been hurt by things people have said to me about getting my @ss in gear but mull on the posts all day. In life, you do better when you follow your instinct.

Well, rather than lurking here anymore, since I have been having such rough ups and downs, I am going to join back in. I am feeling more and more confident each day with my decision to be AF. The Baclofen is helping immensely but it only helps with the cravings, NOT with the habit of a lifetime. Sticking to the AF threads, here and AA, and the meds thread will help me start to evolve as a non-drinker.

At least I have found something that is now helping. I am still not at the "switch" but I am definitely at the point where I can brush aside the thoughts like a gnat. What a great feeling.

Hope all have a nice day.

Love,
Cindi

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

chillgirl;883179 wrote: from a hospitable point of view I want to have shopped for them.

Of course you do, I totally understand that. And only you know how you'll feel about having alcohol in your home. I could do it NOW but I couldn't do it for an awfully long time. Just be careful .

Cindi, it's good to hear the Baclofen is helping. I don't know which is worse, habit or addiction. They are both powerful forces though, that's for sure.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Morning all and happy Thursday.

Chill, you have to make sure you are doing what is right for you and your sobriety. I understand that desire to make sure your guests are well taken care of, but if at the end of the data it costs you your sobriety you have to ask if it was worth it. I don't know, I just see all these options, and I remember coming up with a lot of them myself to try and justify my drinking. Not saying you are - it just appears to hit a little close to home when you have difficulty imaging holding a wine bottle.

Anywho - rode my bike into work today as a way to kick-start my morning. Had an EXTREMELY unproductive day at work yesterday, and it seems like doing physical exercise first thing always puts me in a better mood.

Have a great day everyone!

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Tick tock tick tock. I only have a few minutes here.........

Cinders, I'm so glad you're feeling better. Stick around and keep posting!

Chill. I would warn you to be very careful in this situation. I was AF and NF for 3 months when by SIL and BIL came to visit. They brought there own beer, and of course hubby provided plenty--but I was too uncomfortable not drinking around them and I CAVED! So I had to start over. Just be prepared for those feelings and deal with them, don't do what I did, you will regret it. I would have already had 2 years under my belt if I hadn't done that! In the long run, only you know what will be best as far as buying and providing the AL. Maybe you can take them to the store when they get here. If they are close friends you can confide your feelings as well.

I have been following the Johnny Depp stalking, and have to say I used to LOVE him too. But is it just me or has gotten kinda creepy lately. IDK, ever since Charlie and the Chocolate factory and now his character in Alice.....he was adorable in Edward Scissorhands and weird yet cool in The Secret Window and my all time favorite is What's Eating Gilbert Grape. But I've kind of moved on to Keanu Reeves and Robert Downey Jr. so I guess you guys can fight over Johnny!:H

While I was in town yesterday, we had a major rainstorm at my house, and serious flooding. My sons were home by themselves and hubby and I got stranded in town. This was frightening, but the kids are old enough I wasn't too worried about them. In my past life I would have been excited to go drink myself silly at the bar. Instead I went out to the lake to try to decide what to do, when 2 friends showed up so we walked and talked! It was great! Later, the water receded so we were able to 4- Wheel it home. What an incredible mess though. Some of you may remember me talking about the flooding last year--exactly 1 year ago today. The forecast is for another one tonight. The river is overflowing and several roads are washed out.

Greenie, I was thinking about you as I was spraying Round-Up on my garden spot yesterday morning. Since they don't make Round-Up ready Tomatoes (I don't think) I had to spray the weeds BEFORE I plant. :H:H

I have teenage son issues. Nothing serious but I want to nip it in the bud now, but not sure how to pursue. I had to take his phone away when I got home last night because he accidently sent a text to me that was obviously meant for someone else. "My fuckin parents are home." I was aghast--guess I am naive as well. Upon further investigation, he has some very forthgoing girl-friends that have been sending him, um, photos of themselves. UGH!!

Gotta run. Maybe more later as I am stuck at home for awhile today! :h

[KateH1]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

OMG! LVT! That text must have shocked both of you!! But remember, kids love to impress their friends with their rebellion against parental units!

Yes, our Rocky Mountain weather has been crazy! Rain, Hail, tornados! My daughters house got in excess of 15K in damage from hail a week ago!

AA, I don't know about you, but hot weather really affects my productivity is a negative way! Even when I am in air conditioned rooms.......go figure!

[spuddleduck]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

chill, great for thinking in advance. we have lots of wine in (cheap plonk from france) and im ok with it but i havent had people round drinking. for me that would be very difficult if there was only a couple of us. its a tough one and only you know how you will feel. i think i would get some wine in, as late as possible so you wont be tempted, and when you friend leaves make sure she takes any left with her. its quite possible she wont want to drink if your not so she will go home with a nice bottle of wine. good luck with it, we do keep having new challanges along the way

[momof3]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Hello All,

Busy, busy thread this morning already.

Well, my third girl woke up vomiting this morning with the tummy flu. Geez...I can't get away from it! I'm happy I don't have any more children. My husband is the only one who has not had it....yet.

Chillgirl, You are the only one who can answer the question about having the booze in your house for your guests. Think about/visualize what it will be like having them in your home ...what it will be like buying alcohol....what it will be like having them drink in front of you. If any of these trigger you, then you know your answer. Your sobriety is the most important thing. It is hard for most of us to put ourselves first, but that is what we must do. It is a life or death decision. You are doing so well in your AF journey!!

Early on, I rarely had guests over who drank. I would meet them for dinner instead (or better yet, lunch because it would be less likely that drinking would happen). On the few occasions that I did, I had my husband buy the wine, serve the guests (or have the guests serve themselves), and empty the remains when they left. Now, I don't really care much if people drink in front of me (as long as it's not the main event) but I still do not pour wine.

I have read over the discussion on being honest/forthright with people on this forum when they are acting out, contradicting themselves, looking for attention, etc. And, I read the actual posts involved. I am one for being completely honest as long as it is done with the utmost respect. I think that KateH1 was a master at this with KateB. I found her post respectful, honest, and compassionate. When we are actively drinking (or drugging), we are serious bullshitters and complete victims. It goes hand in hand with the disease as far as I'm concerned. Honesty is the only way to cut through the crap.
M3

[Chillgirl]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Hi everyone, I just want to say a BIG thank you to you all for taking the time to give me your thoughts. I have copy and pasted them all onto one sheet and will read it over again. I have a week to think it through but I agree my sobriety is the absolute no.1 priority even above politeness. The guest is male so I may get in a 6 pack as suggested, if I was ever to relapse I know it wouldn't be with beer.

This may sound ridiculous but part of me wants to buy a bottle of wine to have on offer as a kind of test to myself, like the 1st time I went to a bar after I quit. In a way I want to have moved on a stage in my mind although I realize this may be a dangerous game.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Hello Fabbie Abbies!!! JOHNNY??? IN 3D??????? Greenie, I am so jealous. You better not run off with my BF. One of my AA friends who is a teacher just finished up and is now off for the summer. I smell a movie outing coming. :h

Marshy, that video is amazing. Is she really 73???? Holy moly I better start going around the circuit an extra time and also find some..."uplifting" titanium BGPs. Next time you have one of those dreams I hope you will have taken some valerian root before bed.

LVT - I hope your property and home are not damaged by the flood!!!! When I hear stories about teenage challenges I am rather grateful to have dogs and no 2-legged children. (well, except a husband) Is your sister still improving?

Chill, one thing that I STILL have to remind myself is that NORMAL DRINKERS DO NOT VIEW AL THE SAME WAY I DID!!! My husband is the gold standard for "normie" and he wouldn't care one way or the other if you had AL at your house or not. Normal drinkers do not NEED to drink as we needed to drink.

I used to feel like a lesser person somehow, or flawed or something if I didn't want to serve AL or be around AL or not have AL in my house. I have decided that for me, that is flawed thinking. Normal drinkers don't care one way or the other. It's only problem drinkers that think like I used to think that would have an issue. And I will not compromise my sobriety to cater to the AL needs of a fellow problem drinker.

That's my 2 cents on the matter! (well, more like $2 but who's counting? And you DID bring a sandwich, right?)

AA - I'm like you. A good workout in the AM really charges up my batteries for the day.

Gaia, I think your thinking is just fine. WHATEVER IT TAKES. I remember well the early AF days where it was a game of getting through the next 5 minutes, and then until some TV show was over, and then until dinner, and then until bed time, etc. I remember very vividly being all excited (both times LOL!) over getting to the 10 day mark because that was "double digits." You can only imagine what 100 days was like!!

Gaia I do need to correct your math. You are 29 (like the rest of us) and therefore, it will be 21 years until you are 50 - not 4. But I think you should still start training right away for the marathon. Just run one before you are 33, OK?

Kate, would love to see a piccy of your grandson!! I don't know how I missed that news! Congratulations! And yes, that is a cool name. LOL on the wi fi at the car wash!

Cindi, I am so happy for you that the bac is helping you with the cravings. Hopefully that is giving you some breathing room to work on the other issues that surround our efforts at sobriety. :yougo: There is always hope.

Lav, you are right that drinking would NOT help you with your situation at all. Would a .22 help? Would you like to borrow one? (just kidding. sort of.. )

Life is not fair when Greenie has reese's peanut butter AND Johnny all in the same day. :upset:

Hi to M3 (can't believe there is still puking going on at your house!!) and Spuds and anyone else I might have missed!

ME start the thread??? But I'm the shy quiet type...

After the rains showers last weekend and early this week, my garden is coming along FABulously. I should have lots of summer squashes soon and there is more lettuce as soon as I am done with what's in the fridge. I picked the last radish - should have planted more. I always forget to stagger plant them. No sign of the bunnies (yet). I hope the neighbor dogs are keeping them away. Now if I can just keep the bugs from eating everything life in the garden will be good. I'm loving having so many flowers all over the deck and the roof top porch. Glad I did that.

I have to dash and take care of some Mary Kay business after I grab a bite of lunch. The sober life is the good life. In the old days, I would have been drunk by now.

Ciao!!

DG

[papmom3]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Tough day today. Found out from the HR Director I may be losing my evening part time job (same employer, different division) as it looks like it's against state ethics law to be paid by the same state employer for 2 different jobs. Funny she didn't figure that out 2 years ago!!
I'm pretty pissed as it means saying bye bye to $400/month for working only 20 hrs. This type of job with the hours and the pay is a one in a million thing. Luckily I had my dog agility class tonite so I was able to burn off most of the anger as well as the craving to get blitzed when I got home. Used food instead.
Read all the posts today and will especially pay attention to all the advice about visitors who drink when you are working so hard at sobriety as that will be my situation in less than a month.
Glad everyone had a good day-well except for Mom of 3 who hopefully is in the homestretch of cleaning up puke!!
See you all tomorrow.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Thursday June 10

Papmom, what I'm learning in my own life is that rarely is the cup ever FULL or EMPTY. It's usually somewhere in between. Whether it's "half full" or "half empty" is the same fact, but a different point of view on it.

The "half full" point of view in your work situation might be that you were blessed with two years of extra $$$ that if the HR people had been on the ball, you would not otherwise have had.

I know this is hard sometimes to take the other point of view. But as I get better at it, I deal with far less anger and subsequent urges to drink.

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.

Mean time, FABULOUS job diverting the urges into something more productive, and NOT drinking!!!

DG