AF Daily - Saturday June 12

[citymama]

Hi -- I'm new here and hoping this will be my day 1. I've lurked here once before a few months ago and ordered kudzu, milk thistle but had no success. I'm 36, been drinking for years and it's just slowly escalated, esp after having kids, ironically. Fortunately, it's just in the evening but it's EVERY day and i'm at the point where i can't stop at 1-2 glasses. On a good night I have 3 and on a bad night i prob finish a whole bottle of wine. I start at the kids' dinner time and then keep drinking until I go to sleep 4-5 hours later.
So -- after a bad night last night and being awake with a hangover from 5AM this morning, I'm going to try to start being AF again today. Saturday is not the best day to start though! We (hubbie, myself and two young daughters) are spending the day and night with some heavy drinking friends. I could wait until Monday to start but I feel like I have to take adv of the momentum I am feeling this morning and not procrastinate any longer. I spent the last hour reading threads here and am hoping this forum will help me through the day -- I'll be fine until the afternoon but it's the latter part of the day when I get weak and have cravings. Right now at 7AM -- i see the partially drunk bottle of wine and the dirty wine glasses on the kitchen counter and feel repulsion, as I do every morning. At some point during the day though that repulsion turns into a craving and impatience. Why can't i carry that feeling of repulsion through the evening and night? Any tips?
Will hope to write in later today and read others posts.
Citymama:new:

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Hi citymama,

:welcome:

Well, spending the day with heavy drinking friends is probably not the easiest way to start to have an alcohol-free day! But I suppose you can say you've been drinking too much lately and feel like a break. And then you'll feel great tomorrow and they'll feel terrible
And now you've posted here about your goal, think about how good you'll feel to check in and say you accomplished it!

For me in the early days, a lot of the time it boiled down to substitution and distraction. Distract yourself from alcohol by doing something else that doesn't involve alcohol or being around alcohol, and have something non-alcoholic on hand to drink. There's a load of ideas in the tool box in this section.

I've got to get to work, but I'm sure others will chip in with words of wisdom. Have a good AF day!

[Rusty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Hi Citymama,

Welcome to MWO! You have come to the right place. I understand how you feel about being around drinking friends when you don't want to drink. When asked if you want AL, just say, "not right now....I think I'll have a club soda with a lime/lemon." As long as your glass is full, they'll leave you alone.

If you're having cravings, try the powdered form of L-Glutamine. You can put it right under your tongue...it really helps.

Also, after 3 1/2 years of drinking, I tried Naltrexone (Revia) and that has been a godsend for me. It really zaps the cravings and you can order it online from a number of pharmacies like Goldpharma, Alldaychemist, etc.

Like Marshy said, this afternoon, change your normal routine and it will help immensely. Check in throughout the day, someone will be here, or go to the CHAT section....someone is usually online to give instant advice.

[citymama]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

thanks! For the powdered l-glutamine -- i have the capsules -- can i just open it and put it right under my tongue?
And does anyone know if naltrexone interacts with antidepressants?
-citymama

[Rusty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Hi Again Citymama,

I suppose you could unscrew the capsules and put the powder on your tongue. I am not on ADs, but a lot of people here are and they take NAL and they have had no side effects. A little hint for you....you're supposed to take NAL an hour before drinking, but many weekend mornings/early afternoons, I take it a few hours before my usual "witching hour" and it's amazing how it really makes you look at AL differently....you won't have that overwhelming urge to drink at your usual time. Like you, I am a wine drinker, and since I've been on AL, I've had a number of AF days in a row in the last month.

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Welcome, Citymama! :welcome: Good for you for deciding to tackle the pain in the a$$ that drinking can become. There never is a good time to take it on. Yet do it we must. I'd suggest the tool box thread here as your first stop. (I now see Marshy already suggested that). If you are to survive a day with drinking friends, you'll need a firm plan in place for what you're going to do when they drink and you do NOT. What will you be drinking? What thoughts will help you combat the urge to join them? Can you leave their company for a while and maybe do something with the kids? Hour by hour, getting through the day. That's all you need do today. Good luck with it and let us know how you're getting on.

Hello Fabbies! I've been AWOL working two jobs the last 5 weeks and see it's been busy on the boards. Hope the Irish meet-up-gang enjoyed themselves.

Kate, congratulations on your grandson!!!!
LVT, what a relief your sister's doing so much better even if the teens are acting up.
Greenie, I need a picture of that red Japanese kimono. I had a black one I loved that went missing in a move - life hasn't been the same since!
Lav, those raspberries are worth a transatlantic airfare. Sorry to hear the mess in the garage (and elsewhere) is still festering...
Chill, good thing you've still got a week to mull over your hosting strategies.
M3, is wellness returning to your household?
DG, it's exciting to have options, isn't it! I'm sure you'd have the energy for 3 jobs if that's what you decide you want - I can see you getting up at 5am to make the jam...
Marshy, what's your footy/anti-footy strategy? The flags are out in our courtyard, and there will be no peace for the next 4 weeks...
Where's Det??
Hi to all new-ish abbie fabbies and anyone I may have missed!

It's been busy, but busy is good. I have more energy these days and am very happy about that. Job1 has been an intense phase of my normal job, very cerebral, like running a marathon to a deadline. I finished that project yesterday, and the rest of the summer will be much more flexible. Job2 is a 7-week part-time temporary fling, mostly mindless but with occasional emotional/practical crises that need resolving on the spot. I've still got 2 weeks left of it and have enjoyed it immensely as it's very social. AND because I've been working with lots of Americans who've been just fantastic - friendly, efficient, no-nonsense, reliable. I've lived in the US 3 separate times, including when I was really little, and I seem to react to the familiarity of it all, as though it's been stored in my spinal cord. So here's to all you Yanks - mwahhhhhh, luv ya :h

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Hi All!

Citymama, welcome! - your drinking pattern sounds a lot like mine was. I also used L-Glut, milk thistle and B complex. I also a special fancy glass for my fizzy water/soft drink, mind games I know, but it helped!

I just wanted to share my weird Yoga class today with someone/anyone. It'll be a bit rambbling but bear with me.

Had just put my mat down when the lady on the next mat started to chat to me. In the space of 2 minutes she'd told me how cute the WC footballers were, confided she thought she had all the symptoms of ovarian cancer, told me what she did for a living,what she'd done today, that she loved us Brits (she's from the US)as we have tea and scones all the time. I didn't mind all this, but what really threw me was when she confided that she was an adult child of an alcoholic with major issues and did I know a good therapist? We also managed to chat about HALT, just bizarre - I felt like she just knew by looking at me that I had AL issues. Bit unnerving. Anyhoo,teacher came in, did the class, and came out. I didn't know wether or not to chat some more, but off she went into the heat and sweatiness......I'll probably never see her again, but I know sooo much about her!


Then I noticed how busy the restaurant next to yoga was, and realised that it was because they had a
big screen and were going to be showing the football. lots of folks there 3 hours early, lots of drinking. I
had no desire whatsoever to join them, which also felt bizarre - but in a good way!


But back home, ignoring the football and having a ginger beer, wondering about Yoga lady, who told me I was a good listener. Was just all a bit peculiar, I think because I've never had anyone in Singapore be open about any kind of AL issues before, and there she was, a complete stranger throwing into the mix right from the start. Hmm.

Phew, sorry just really really had to share.

Bets.
x

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Pamina;885055 wrote: Marshy, what's your footy/anti-footy strategy? The flags are out in our courtyard, and there will be no peace for the next 4 weeks...

Ha! My strategy is genuine lack of interest. Really, couldn't give a monkeys, and I don't even notice it's going on until someone talks about it. I don't have any friends who are interested either, which helps. In the supermarket the other day, though, I was rather taken aback by an enormous WALL of beer (at least 10ft tall and 10ft wide) right at the entrance covered with England flags. I had to walk around it to get in.
You know, I thought you might BE American coz of some of the words and phrases you use, so it makes sense when you mention your connections.

Sweaty - odd, eh? Maybe she just doesn't have many people to talk to and it all came tumbling out. Also (how do I put this?) Americans can be, erm, very, erm, open in a way that many Brits find rather strange.
Looking forward to my tea and scones later!

[Rusty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Marshy,

Yup, we can be so very open. I learned not to be when I worked in the UK. And that's hard for me because I'm a very demonstrative person, but I respect and admire the English culture. Our family owned a company in England and enjoy spending time there and learning everything I can...haven't been to London yet. Only Manchester, Lemington Spa, Birmingham, Nottingham....

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Rusty,

I like the openness in many ways because it's usually connected with friendliness too, which is a nice trait. And of course us Brits can go much too far the other way and be ridiculously reserved.
My brother and sister were both born in Leamington Spa. Never been there myself!

[Rusty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Marshy,

I've always been an extremely outgoing person...even with all the drinking I've done the last few years...that never changed. I never became reclusive or withdrawn. But, being reserved is part of English culture and yet I didn't find it offensive at all. When I go to England, all Brits treat me as if I'm the most wonderful person in the world. I toured Warwick Castle and just loved it. So much history there.

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

I have to chime in and say that I don't think that my experience with this lady had so much to do with where she was from, more to do with being stuck in a different space time continuum for a while

Really, it could not have been more than 4 minutes max, and we also discussed the price of gynae visits & internal scans,her sore boobs, I told her my grandfather and Aunt were alcoholic, and that it was ok to look at younger men as long as they were slightly older than my son. I'm still a bit dazed

And as an aside, one of my Japanese friends here was mortified when i didn't have a teapot and gave her tea made from a mug and a teabag - I shattered lots of illusions for her.....I do have a teapot now though, and cups and saucers AND a cake stand - rubbish at making scones though.

If Yogalady is in the class next week I'm going to ask her if she wants to have a coffee, I think she might be lonely, but also good fun - we laughed a lot this class.

XX

Crosspost - Been to Warwick castle Rusty - lovely.

[Rusty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Betty,

I wish I could be in that class with you. You sound like you have a really interesting life.

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

I did today that's for sure!

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Saturday June 12

Sweaty, I had a similar experience at our local fitness center. I was having a bad day, and this lady I don't know started walking with me and telling me all about her alcoholic husband that just got dui and her sister and her niece and her parents and her...............for at least a mile! I chalked it up to me needing to be there for someone that day. Who knows.

Citymama-:welcome:
I suggest you read My Way Out. It is an excellent program. I think it can still be downloaded from the health store here and you can read it while at your heavy drinking friend's. I know the L-Glut capsules will work opened under the tongue, but make sure you take the right dosage. I can't remember what it is off the top of my head. I didn't use any meds, but did use most of the supps, the cd's and the rest of the program.
Stay with us, lots of advice and support here.

Have a great weekend all! :h