Journey thru June - week 3

[Chillgirl]

Welcome to week 3 Guys!
I hope everyone is feeling good and up for another AF week.
Dill what's your boat called?

I got a call this morning from my ex husband, he needs me to sign some business papers this afternoon, we hadnt spoken to each other for nearly 2 months. So I will go along this afternoon having spend ages choosing what to wear and doing my hair, and he wont even notice as usual. But I get the chance to see him, to see how he's bearing up with his drinking. I have to be up beat and happy, its my chance to show him an example of AF life. Please God let him notice me today.....

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3

Morning, Chill! Thanks for the start! I will say a prayer for you today! I hope that your ex is able to see you and all the positive changes in you and that he will want the same for himself.

We haven't named the boat yet. We are trying to come up with a name but are just not finding the right one. I have always found it difficult to "name" things. Suggestions are welcome.

Hello to Sooty, Rustop, Rusty, Lav, LBH, Sped, Red (come back, Red...)Spuddle, Giai, and all who stop in. May we be AF today.

Yesterday's tapes: I need a drink. I can't exist without a fix. How will
I get through the morning without taking something? Do people see
me shake? Are people watching me? Where can I get money? The
prison of addiction!

Today I am free because I took courage and asked for help. Today I
am free because I still ask for help. Today I have learned to say "no"
to the first drink and life is more comfortable and less painful.

Freedom is a precious spiritual gift that I work for on a daily basis.
God is involved - but so am I. The freedom from alcoholism is only
guaranteed by the creative choices I make and in the choice is the
freedom.

God, my memory is the key to today's freedom; may I continue to
remember. - Daily Recovery Readings

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good Morning Chill, Dill and Spuddle,

Chill-good luck in the meeting with your ex-husband. I am certain he will notice the positive changes in you and will take a second look. As Dill says, he might want the same thing for himself. Maybe this meeting will force him to address his issues.

Dill-I love Searays. How fun! I grew up on a lake and we spent days waterskiing and tubing. Hmmmm....a name? The SS Dill? :H:H:H Thank you also for the Daily Recovery Readings. You will be on my mind and in my step today.

I spent a wonderful AF day yesterday with my mother. Some of you may know that I was really down over the weekend. The biggest reason being that I am supposed to go on a beach vacation in a month to the East Coast with my mom and sister. We will be staying near a bunch of my cousins, who are all big drinkers, and their father, my uncle, is an active alcoholic. I came clean with my mom yesterday and told her I didn't want to go, and thank God, she said she understood! That was a load off my mind. Now I can enjoy the rest of my summer.

Sooty, Rustop, Lav, LBH, Sped, Red, Spuddle, Giaia, I hope you have a wonderful AF day!

[Lavande]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good morning June friends,

Chill, you just keep doing what you have been doing whether you Ex notices or not! I swear my hair could be on fire & mine wouldn't notice!!!!

Dill, I have trouble naming things too. That's why my rescue dog is called 'Girl Dog'
Wishing you happy sailing!

Rusty, you made a good choice for yourself, be happy! I skipped lots of invitations last year - they just weren't worth risking my sobriety. I'm grateful that I had the strength to just say no! I'm sure you Mom is proud

Nothing real special on my plan for the day - think I'll take the opportunity to start some organizing in my stock area. I have piles & piles of shirts sitting everywhere.

Wishing everyone a terrific AF Monday!
Lav

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Lav,

Great to see you post. Were you with Fav Grandson this weekend? Did Mr. Lav make a guest appearance?

I am off to the gym and to get more flowers for my decks....pink wave petunias.

Wishing all my friends a happy AF Monday. Thanks to all of you for being here for me!

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

ok so what did I really expect?! Met my ex at the bank and signed the necessary papers it was 3.30pm and I could smell the AL from him. We have other things to discuss and I asked if he had time now, he asked if I could call him in the morning as he had had a heavy lunch yesterday and was severely hungover. When we left he headed back in the direction of the bar across the street which he bought last year.... not one of his best moves!

I feel pretty detached about the whole thing, yes I would love to help him but Im not in a position to. It is a wonderful insight into my old life though and makes me even more grateful to be free...

[rustop61]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hi everyone

Have not been able to get near the computer the last few days and I missed it. visitors gone to the UK for a few days but back to me on Wednesday for 2 more days.

We had a nice week-end with them but very busy.

Chill - You take care of yourself. You cannot be responsible for another human being and if your ex continues to drink there is nothing you can do about it. I guess in a lot of ways its a grieving process. You need to grieve for the loss of the person you met and fell in love with.

Dill - my hubby has a lake boat for his fishing. We named it after a music tune that had significance to us. Just a thought.

Lav, Rusty, Sooty, Star and everyone else big hello.

Rustop

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3

Chill, I'm sorry it went that way. He couldn't see through the alcohol haze. I don't know how you can reach him since he is actively addicted. His only clear-headed time would be early in the day. Maybe if you met him for an early lunch sometime? I know it is not your problem anymore, so, que sera sera! You must feel so awesome about your hard won freedom! (from al, not from your ex)

Rusty and Rustop, thanks for the name suggestions. I am hopeless. Maybe I'll be like Lav and name it "Boat #1"! I will ponder the song name idea.

[techie]

Journey thru June - week 3

chillgirl;886475 wrote: Welcome to week 3 Guys!
I hope everyone is feeling good and up for another AF week.
Dill what's your boat called?

I got a call this morning from my ex husband, he needs me to sign some business papers this afternoon, we hadnt spoken to each other for nearly 2 months. So I will go along this afternoon having spend ages choosing what to wear and doing my hair, and he wont even notice as usual. But I get the chance to see him, to see how he's bearing up with his drinking. I have to be up beat and happy, its my chance to show him an example of AF life. Please God let him notice me today.....

You look beautiful, radiant, and full of life. How do I know? I read your posts and follow your progress. You share your heart with everyone here. You are a sober, confident, and selfless personr. That speaks volumes about our Chill!

[sooty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hello June winners, sorry not been able to get on all day cos of other people using my laptop!
Chill I'm sorry you had a sad time with your ex - its hard when we see someone destroying their lives and we are helpless to do anything about it.
Dill - good luck with naming the boat - I just had a look round the internet and there is a site called 10,000 boat names, I'm sure you'll find something on there
Alternatively you could just call it "nameless" :H
I hope you find something that suits you and Mr D.
Techie, Lav, Rusty, Star, Sped, Spud and everyone else, have a good day.
See you tomorrow
love Sooty

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

Techie - Wow.... did your post make my day & make me smile
for once I'm speechless..........
Thank you :l

[ladybirdheart]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hello Week Three. I got back online Saturday but did not post as I had to get my bearings. Lord Bird Heart put up a fourteen inch barrier in a hallway during our floor work to keep the little dog confined; I did not see it and was running to close a gate after ten hours of sanding (they hauled away 190 lbs of dust from two rooms...) and fell over the barrier in the dark. In hindsight it was probably funny initially, a briefly glorious 120 lb unguided missile, but unfortunately I came down and sprained my left ankle and left shoulder, knocked myself out briefly, and within a couple of hours had my first true relapse since November, namely around six or eight units slugged down while Lord Bird Heart was out getting food. I was afraid I might ?continue? later so I poured the rest out in the toilet (I could not stand up on my ankle to reach the sink). This happened on Wednesday night and on Thursday and Friday I could not do a thing but stay in bed and put off struggling to the bathroom as long as possible so I did not drink much water. Lord BH was gone during the day and the land line broke and my cell was on the other side of the "floor"; it was unbearably hot as we could not run the cooler with the construction; and I was in one room with the dogs and the absurdly affectionate kitty who pursued me relentlessly like an enormous steaming baked potato in a mink coat. If I had a hangover it was completely eclipsed by discomfort elsewhere and horror that I could not take care of my garden or get any exercise, my usual ways of coping with stress, for more days than I could envision enduring. I did better over the weekend walking around inside, and today Lord BH drove me to a work assignment where I made quite the entrance in a lovely blue silk dress, accessorized with pearls, an air cast, a shoulder sling, and a cane. I feel much better emotionally but my relapse is screaming at me off and on about one thing or another. I am sorry this post is all about me. Please know that I do care about everybody here and my heart had all of that sweet sorrow for your day, Chill; funny associations with boat naming, Dill (Lord BH had four brothers and his father once named a boat El Cinco after the five of the them), cheers for you Lav and Sooty and Rusty and Rustop et. al., etc. I shall catch up and get more of my bearings. Love, Ladybird.

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

Oh LBH - What a hell of a time you are having!! I hope you have seen a Doctor, its important you get checked out if you knocked yourself out. What an awful thing to happen on top of everything else, you poor darling, I wish I could come over and help you out.

Good for you for pouring the rest of the AL away, I wouldnt ever condone drinking for any reason whatsoever but I bet it took the pain away for a spell. Anyway the slip is behind you and you you mustnt dwell on it, just concentrate on getting better. Has the work been finished now?

I am half way through the book "MINDFUL RECOVERY" and I am enjoying it emensely. It emphasizes the importance of being soft with ourselves when we slip up. A slip does not undo all the good you have done in periods of sucess. All periods of sobriety are sucesses.

The book is more of a spiritual handbook on how to live your life and Im loving that aspect of it. If I was being critical I would say I would like more of it to be concentrating on addiction but as I say I am only half way through it.

I made the call this morning to my ex and he is coming over in about an hour for a chat about some issues we need to resolve. I know before he comes nothing will be resloved, and when he leaves I will be non the wiser of how we split our assets and move on. If Im honest, I probably never push it because my subconscious likes the on going tie to him, however my left brain sees how unheathly this is for me. And so the circle continues!!

[Stargazerlily]

Journey thru June - week 3

LBH, sorry to hear about your fall and relapse. What a week for you. Remodeling is so hard to get through. Your entire life is in an uproar. Your relapse sounded miserable, especially the aftermath. I am going through the same and feel depressed and disgusted. So, not posting a whole lot. Thanks so much for having the courage to help us out by being honest and sharing your struggles.

Chill, realtionships are so messy, aren't they? Then you throw alcohol into the mix and it is so sad and disheartening. I hear you saying that you see your ex deteriorating physically and in his capacity to handle business. There but for your sobriety, you would be. Thanks for your insight.

Dill, thanks for missing me. I have had fun naming pets after favorite movie stars, singers, etc. I also have chosen ethnic names. (I have had alot of pets over the years.) Why couldn't you do this with your boat? Or, name it dill or some other herb. How about Rosemary and Thyme? Do you have a favorite literary character or something? I had a little reddish kitty I named Fergie, after the Duchess. When my daughter was a teen we named a pet after her favorite musician.

Thanks all for keeping this thread going.

[rustop61]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good morning everyone

Big hug to those of you struggling. It takes courage to come on and pour your heart out and then continue on your sober journey. I applaud you.

Another beautiful morning and have just had my walk. Back to more cleaning and changing beds!!! One good thing about being so busy is that it does not give me much time to thing of Al.

Have a great day everyone.

Rustop