Journey thru June - week 3

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good Morning My June Friends,

CHill-your ex must be envious of your sobriety. You're right....buying a bar was not a good move. I knew an active alcoholic who drank 16 hours a day. He bought a bar and he was dead in 2 years. Sorry you're going through this.

LBH-you sound like you're in immense pain physically and mentally-I wish you strength and peace in your journey.

Techie, Lav, Star, Sped, Dill, Spud, Rustop and everyone else, have a great day.

You probably won't be hearing from me at my usual morning check-in time for the next few days. I'm working with a new client who's already told me that their company policy has strict rules about accessing personal e-mail/non-business related websites while on their property-so you may hear from me in the evenings.

Take care everybody!

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good morning LBH, Star, Chill and Rustop and all to come. It does take courage, effort and time to undo all the years of habit and twisted thinking that goes along with al dependence. We all drank for many years and al has its tendrils firmly wrapped. Have you ever grown a vining plant like Morning Glories? Heavenly Blue is my favorite. They start out so slowly and gradually until one day they bloom and continue to grow until the are so exquisitely beautiful and abundant. Then they seem to go absolutely crazy, taking over everything in the garden and smothering other plants out. Seems a lot like our al journey...the slow start, the fun, then the gradual destruction. Then, the next year, you say, "I'm not planting Morning Glories in this flower bed ever again!" You work for a long time unwrapping and cutting and pulling off the old vines from their trellis. You remove the trellis and plant new flowers in the bed. Morning Glory Free! Not so fast. Before you know it, the sun and rain do their jobs and volunteer seeds from the previous season sprout. You pull them out and go on. Some of the sprouts get away from you and put on growth. If you are vigilant and don't lose your commitment, you will pull those out, too. The important thing is not to let those little volunteers go till they bloom, because you love that little bloom and then it is even harder to pull them out and the whole process begins again. So it is with al: we must continue to pull out those starts as they appear. Eventually we will be free.

LBH, I am so sorry for your pain! I surely understand why after all you have been through that you took the action that you did. We are all vulnerable. My thoughts will be with you and I will be sending you whatever spare strength I have.
Star, thank you for the boat name suggestions and I am very glad you are with us here in week 3.
Chill, thanks for the update on Mindful Recovery. It sounds like a good read.
Rustop, Keeping busy is such a help! Yesterday I was actively bored, which is not something I usually experience. But the weather 'round here has been hot, humid, stormy, rainy, so outdoor activities are limited and indoor activites just didn't appeal to me! It was not good as al thoughts kept popping up. Anyway, I got through, and I'll manage today, too.
Rusty, the important thing is, just check in; morning, afternoon, evening, whenever you can!

May we all be AF today!

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hi Redstar, Rustop, Rusty, Dill and all to come....

Red - I love naming things! When I got my dear dog she was abandoned at a supermarker called Lidel in a town called Loule so I wanted her name to begin with L, however nothing seemed to suit so I called her Elle..

Dill - That plant sound exactly like the AL journey! Eventually taking over the garden/our lives!

Well my dear ex came round and we had a great chat for over an hour, I managed to steer the conversation round to health and I think he accepted some backhanded advice from me. He is the kindest person I ever met in my life and even though its been 6 yrs since we were together, sitting on the terrace drinking coffee felt like no time had passed. I know if he came back to me I have the strength now to get him to quit AL, however that will never happen and I do accept it. He reassured me regarding our joint business's and the bar is actually the most sucessful at the moment, sadly AL is good business....

Im not sad I love someone who I cant have, Im grateful that im able to do so even after so much has happened

[Lavande]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good morning June friends,

Wow, Tuesday seems pretty intense so far!

LBH, I am truly sorry to hear about your week but glad you're back with us! I hope all of your wounds heal quickly & thoroughly

Red, good to see you as well! I feel a bit out of touch with everyone. Hope you are OK.

Chill, I'm wondering what the Universe has in store for the both of us where husbands are concerned.
Mine told me last Saturday that he's going to tell his therapist to 'get him ready' to move back home.
I have NO idea what that means & I'm beginning to think I may not want him here.............

Dill, Rusty, Rustop & everyone - I hope you are having a good day!

My daughter told me I could tell my friends today that she's just had a positive pregnancy test!!! This will be her first, she's very happy & so am I

I love having something to look forward to....................

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3

Lav, that is perhaps his way of saying he wants to come back home, and seeing how you react? I dare say it is better than him asking her to get him ready to get divorced... unless you are thinking you want to end it. I'm sure you must be in such turmoil! I am happy for you that you have another grandchild to look forward to! I know that will go a long way to giving you comfort and joy even during this trying time in your marriage.
Chill, you are amazing in you insights and strength. Your ex has no idea what a treasure he has turned his back on.

[sooty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hello everyone, beautiful day here and I've been for a splendid walk. Ican't tell you how happy I am to get out and about again, even if my ankle is sore in the evening!
Lav you must be a mass of mixed emotions with Mr Lav's revelations and now your daughter's amazing news!
Dill - any news on the name yet?
Chill you sound so wise ...
LBH so sorry you're having a hard time lovely one, hope you feel better soon
This is just a quick message so I can't name everyone but I sincerely hope you're all doing well and enjoying your AF lives
love Sooty

ps see you on humpday!

[Stargazerlily]

Journey thru June - week 3

Rusty, we'll miss you in the mornings. I too cannot access personal email's at work. Which is probably for the best as I am so busy.

Lav, you are so kind to your hubby, he is a lucky guy. Just doesn't realize it. I am a total B and would be challenging him and probably end up in a big fight. He just assumes he can come and go as he pleases without considering you. Unbelievable. Please don't let him take advantage of your love and good nature. I realize living with someone who is depressed is a spirit sucker, taking the life out of you over a period of time. Congrats on you upcoming grandchild.

Dill, your analogy of the plant world and our alcohol journey was right on. What is it about summer that makes me want to drink?

Chill, thanks for sharing your relationship insight. It must have taken some time to come to be at peace with things the way they are. I find it interesting that he is still drinking and you know that you could be in the same place if still together. Is his drinking making you want to drink or the opposite?

Sooty, enjoy your day. You are lucky to have time to walk and be out and about.

Today, AF for me.

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

Happy Humpday to all and especially Sooty! Soots be careful with your ankle, you dont want another tumble.

Lav - Im so delighted for your daughter, lovely news.

Been biking in the sunshine, will finish my book today "Mindful Recovery" it has certainly given me food for thought, I would recommend it as a Spiritual Handbook rather than an aid on recovery although there are some helpful insights.

I have a big job which I keep putting off to sand down and teak oil my garden furniture which hasnt been done in years, maybe today I will get as far as buying the sandpaper and oil....

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

Happy Humpday to all and especially Sooty! Soots be careful with your ankle, you dont want another tumble.

Lav - Im so delighted for your daughter, lovely news.

Redstar - NO! He makes me very glad to be sober... I have been giving a lot of thought to why I was so compelled to leave him albeit his behaviour was unreasonable. He spent 2 yrs trying to get me back in ways that you would think were only reserved for the movies, he really pulled out all the stops to show me how much he loved me. Even though I was still drinking something always held me back and when he met someone else I panicked but then it was too late and he wasnt coming back. So i have spend 4 years loving him from a distance and at times it has been heartbreaking but my spirituality always gave my faith that things happen in devine timing that we dont always understand. Recently Im seeing that bigger picture and realize that I could NEVER have gotten sober if Id been with him and God seems to want me sober... I trust wherever Im going is the path I need to follow which for now is without him, I would love one day for it to bring me back to him and for some reason we never seem to break our ties, if fact we never even got round to a divorce....

Been biking in the sunshine, will finish my book today "Mindful Recovery" it has certainly given me food for thought, I would recommend it as a Spiritual Handbook rather than an aid on recovery although there are some helpful insights.

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3

"The secret of self-confidence and courage hinges on the kind of
thoughts you think. In the long run, your subconscious will send
up to you what you send down to it. Take charge of your mind and
begin to fill it with healthy thoughts."
--Norman Vincent Peale

This quote reminded me immediately of you, Chill, as you are so good at focusing on the positive. I continually need to work on this.

Still no boat name, but lots of good suggestions. I kind of like "Dilly Dally" but hb didn't seem impressed. I'll let you all know the outcome!

Sooty, I'm glad you are back to being able to get out and walk the cliffs! Now we need to get LBH back to her best.

Chill, I had a love when I was in college. I was head over heels for him. Drug use was common back then on campus and he became addicted, I think to cocaine. Our relationship fell apart as drugs became his number one companion and although he loved me, he did not have space or time for me unless I wanted to sit inside his drugged haze. At first I did, hoping he would come out of it, but as time went by I could see that he was smitten with his addiction and I tearfully said goodbye to him. I left the door open, telling him I still loved him but couldn't play the second fiddle. I waited for him for a year, then, being young and wanting to start my life and a family, I started dating. He was still using drugs at that time. He did come back to me 3 years after the break up, clean and sober and asking for a second chance. By then Mr. Dill and I were involved and I knew Mr. Dill was right for me. I was so sad as once again I had to say goodbye, this time permanently to my college love. It was painful. But I believe that the universe is unfolding as it should be. My life with Mr. Dill has been very rich and fullfilling; not always perfiect, but very very good!

Red, I am glad you like my plant analogy. It helps me to realize that it is the nature of things to want to persist. We shouldn't be surprised that ending any bad habit is going to take effort, commitment and vigilance!

May we be af for HUMPDAY!!

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Happy Wednesday June Friends,

LBH-how are you feeling, dear? Any better?

Lav-congratulations on your new grandchild-to-be! I know your grandson will love having a playmate. Has Mr. Lav rejoined the Land of the Living yet? I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

Star-you're always so sweet. I just love your avatar because lilies are my favorite flower. They are so $$$$$ but I always put them in a bouquet on my dining room table.

Chilli-Im so glad you and ex-Mr. Chill had coffee together. Ah, I have a feeling you and Mr.Chill will reunite. If he can get sober, how wonderful that would be for both of you. I've known 3 couples who divorced, then married other people, and then re-married each other! Yup, I understand how the bar is doing so well.

Dill-I, too, loved your analogy with the plant. It was very thoughtful and hit home for me. Possible names for the boat? SS Sober, Sober Seas, I Abstain But I Am Still Happily Married!:H:H:H As soon as the SS Dill is seaworthy, I think a bunch of us should motor over to Lav's for a BBQ and a tour of her royal gardens.

Sooty-I wish I could have walked with you today! Lucky girl :-)

Red, Rustop, Sped, Spuddle and whoever else stops by, Happy Hump Day!

[spedteach]

Journey thru June - week 3

Morning all,
I swear I wrote a long post yesterday in Arizona and poof, where did it go...cyberspace.
I am back in NM. My h is out of town and I am here enjoying an empty house, reuniting with my kitties.
Yesterday afternoon felt like the perfect storm for me in terms of drinking. Arrived home about 3pm after a long drive. Terribly hot, dry desert heat. Spent the afternoon and evening unloading, unpacking. Trying to undo 2 weeks of my not being here. Dirty house, dying plants, crunchy lawn, unpaid bills. I was tired. I was hungry. I was angry. A year ago I would have been smashed by 4 o'clock. I would have stopped at the store before I got home to buy a bottle of wine. This morning I almost feel like that's what I did.
My h gets home tomorrow night. Do not want to think about it.

Lav, congrats on that grandbaby to be. I do love babies, and toddlers and 5 year olds and kids in general. Am missing my substituting job.

Chill, I read Mindful Recovery. I enjoyed how pragmatic the book was, the recommended practices. Why do you not recommend it as an aid in recovery? I went to a workshop featuring the author about 6 months ago. Not a dynamic speaker. Basically just read from the book.

Okay Dill, let's have it. What's the name of the boat????

Red/star, please keep posting no matter what. You are such an integral part of this thread.

Morning Sooty, rusties, all to come.

I am going to try to see our ailing Miss LBH today.

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hi Sped,

I can appreciate how you feel about the heat. My ex-beau lives in Scottsdale and man, does it get hot! I hope it goes well with your husband....I know you're dreading it.

[spedteach]

Journey thru June - week 3

Cross post
Dill, you in love with a coke head!!! Must admit, I am surprised. Where did you go to college? What a romantic story.
If you don't name that boat soon it will become Boat #1....how about Le Petite Bateau? Or does bateau get "la"?

Rusty, are you east or west of the Atlantic Ocean?

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Sped,

I live in Wisconsin, born and raised. Native Cheesehead! NM is one of five states I've never been to.