Journey thru June - week 3

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good Early Morning Everybody,

Gosh, I missed you all yesterday. I couldn't get on MWO before work and was restricted during work but I'm back.

Lav-I'm glad Mr.Lav made a guest appearance. Maybe this is a good sign? I'm so sorry about your oldest brother. I hope he recovers soon. I've never smoked but I saw the damage it did to my father after 50 plus years.

Dill-I love the picture of your water lilies. They are beautiful. I can only imagine you paddleboating with your grandson around the pond. That must have been so fun and relaxing.

Chill-you make a really good point. When we were drinking we were so self-absorbed....now we can give back. "Pay it Forward," like in the movie. Have you all seen that movie with Helen Hunt? It's really good and very relevant for all of us.

Sooty-do you think you want to walk with your ankle the way it is? Gosh, be careful. The walk sounds like fun, though.

Have a great day everybody. I have to be at work at 5:00 a.m.

Rusty

[Stargazerlily]

Journey thru June - week 3

Great activity on this thread with lots of good stuff.

Lav, maybe Mr. Lav is coming out of his depressive episode. I hope so for your sake. I wonder what he would do if you told him you had just had it and were done putting up with his moods. I guess I have a reaction to him because my own father's depression ruled our lives as we were growing up. My mother tiptoed around him, catered to him, and in my opinion, enabled him to act like an a##. When she died about six years ago, my siblings and I just would not put up with his moodiness, and just left him alone when he was crabby, rude, inconsiderate or "depressed." It is amazing that when there was no audience or enabling, it stopped for the most part. Plus Prozac. I am probably being harsh, but my son also suffers from depression and it just gets old. The self-centeredness and lack of caring for anyone but themselves and their feelings, is a hard way to live. I read a book that talked about some people who take your energy away from you to energize themselves. Think about it, we probably all know people who do that. I try to protect myself from that energy sucking as much as possible. I mean we all get depressed from time to time. I know I do. But at some point you have to work to think of others and get with the program. But I am not being fair, with clincial depression, it must be like how you feel after you drink. OK, I'll stop now.

Love the pictures of the flowers. Right now my hydrangeas are spectacular, and I have no idea how to get a picture of them to you. Plus I have lilies, and planted stargazer lilies, but they have not shown up yet. I may have bought defective bulbs.

Sooty, you love your walks. Your life sounds as though you choose to fill it with both pleasure and business, a good balance.

Chill, it is amazing how we come to know and care for each other on this site. Our goal of being AF and experiencing a clean lifestyle, plus the nonjudmental attitude has been a true support for me. A date? How exciting. I know that you are right on regarding not being able to get AF if you were with your ex. You are a really strong person. Sometimes I have felt that my time with someone is completed. As if there were a PLAN and there was work to do together, something to learn. Then, when that is completed, it is time to move on. But what you had together is always yours, in memories, and you can take them out, and enjoy them.

Rusty, you sound busy, 5 a.m? Whew, I am an early bird but not that early. I am thankful that I have a job, hope to get out early and do a little Father's day shopping. It is nice hearing from you. It would be nice to know a little more about you, I believe you said you were single. If you are not comfortable with my prying, that's OK. We all have our own level of comfort in how much we want to share.

Everyone, have a productive, peaceful Friday, AF.

[rustop61]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hi everyone

Just back from the airport after leaving my visitors off. In serious need of some MWO time. It certainly helps me to stay focussed. Gave into the temptation of a few glasses of wine the last few nights when they were all here but now back in AF mode.

Going to make a coffee and sit down and catch up on everyone's news.

Rustop

[spedteach]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good morning,
I too couldn't get on yesterday morning and marveled at how much I missed everyone. Remember a few weeks ago when we were a little thread bare, bemoaning the lack of posting. Well I feel like we're back!!
I look forward to checking in every morning.

Picked up my husband at the airport last night. He was acting and talking like the separation discussion we had right before my trip to California never happened. I brought it up again and we were able to talk about it some without too much defensiveness. I need to live on my own for at least a while, either in this house or in an apartment. This move though is once more being put on hold.
I'm off again on my travels soon, this time to the Midwest. I promised myself I would travel in June and that's exactly what I intend to do.

Red, I know what you mean when you talk about "self centeredness and lack of caring for anyone but themselves and their feelings". To me that describes most alcoholics. Thinking back on all those years when my drinking was more important than anything or anyone else in my life. Talk about self centered.
I have a question for you and anyone else who cares to answer. Do you think alcoholism is a disease or a learned behavior?

Yeah, early riser Rusty, tell us a little more about yourself. I am not particularly shy. But of course like Red, I'll respect your privacy.

Taking lunch to LBH today. Told her I would be her gardening slave and do any yard chores she has been longing to have done and physically unable to do.

Can't wait till summer solstice. In Flagstaff, AZ the sun started coming up at 4 o'clock! I am not a summer lover. You all know that by now.

Good Friday to all, time for more coffee.

[Lavande]

Journey thru June - week 3

Happy Friday everyone!

Chill, I felt a little 'alone' when I couldn't logon yesterday morning! I imagine it must have been very difficult for the newbies yesterday. MWO is a lifeline & tremendous source of comfort for so many

Red, my Dad was the same way his entire life. Mr Lav couldn't stand my Dad & is now behaving just like him! That's why I asked my son to NOT come over here to cut grass or attempt to repair things. I have stopped asking when he plans to return. He has noticed my sense of overall calmness lately.
I (inadvertently) made him cry last night when I told him about our daughter's pregnancy. At least that showed me he is beginning to fell his feelings again instead of stuffing everything under the rug.

Rusty, a 5 am workday? Reminds me of my former life in nursing & the bizarre hours I worked. Take care of yourself!

Chill, it was hard watching my parents' health decline but now with my siblings.... it makes me want to try harder & harder to live better. I know we can't live forever but we can control certain things.

Rustop, I'll bet you're glad your visitors are gone now! I definitely prefer the AF life I've carved out for myself - I'm sure you do too!

I need to go tend to the 'girls'. Egg production is down again, they don't care for the heat & humidity of summer.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!
Lav

[Lavande]

Journey thru June - week 3

Good morning Shelley - cross post!!

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hello Junesters,
Lav, it's not just about what Mr. L wants. It's about what you want as well. I hope you both find peace and tranquility. That's interesting that Mr. L is behaving like your father. I've often thought of the similarities between my Dad and Mr. D. They are very much alike. Not exactly, of course, but very much. Hmmm. Did Mr. L cry when you informed him of the pregnancy because he was happy or because he has kept himself so far out of the loop?
Sped, that is fantastice that you are going over to visite with LBH and be her garden slave! You may be selfish when you are an active alcoholic, but are an exceptional person sober! You are going to visit your son in Indiana, right? Are you helping him move?
Rustop, I can really, really relate to your company trigger. Welcome back on board!!!
Star, I have a question for you and will understand if you don't want to answer. You have mentioned before that Mr. Star was absaining from al with you, but that it was for the duration of a diet. Has he lost his weight and decided to drink again or is he still trying to abstain?
Rusty, perhaps we should all tell a little about ourselves, since you came on after we have mostly done that. Me, I am in my late 50's, still working for at least two more years. I live on a farm in Ohio. We raise cattle. I have two elderly dogs and one elderly cat. We have a farm pond which is where we were using our paddle boat with our grandson. I have 2 adult children, both married. Daughter is in New Orleans and son is local. We have just one grandchild. I have been a wine drinker since my early 20's. I became a daily wine drinker in my mid 30's. My drinking escalated in my mid forties and was out of control in my mid 50's. That's when I started to try to quit, many many times. Who knew it would be so hard!!!
Sooty, keep on walking! Wow, 5 miles?! I hope your ankle holds up.
Chill, can you tell me how you put your pictures in the posts like you do?

Whew! This was long! I hope I didn't bore you guys.:H

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

Dill - I do it through "photobucket" uploaded my own photos to it then you click on IMGcode and copy & paste it. I didnt actually mean them to be so big, should have reduced them 1st!
Try it, if you have a problem let me know and I will try and explain it better.

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3



Whoa!!! Ok, I guess I need to learn how to resize!!:H:H:H
This is a picture of one of my dogs.

Thanks, Chill.

[dill]

Journey thru June - week 3



This is my other dog.

OK, I feel like Goldilocks! The first one is too large, the second one is to small, how do I get it "just right"? Well, I'll worry about that later. Have to go now. Thanks for letting me play!

[sooty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Dill the dogs are lovely - both of them, although the big photo did make me jump when I first saw it
Hey gang I did the walk and the ankle took the strain quite well, only seizing up when we had a pit stop for lunch. It was hard to get going again for the first minute or two but once I "warmed up" I was fine! So happy that I'm mobile again (if a little rikkety)
Glad to see so many of us on here, I love hearing about all our lives and miss everyone when my internet is playing up.
Have a good Friday one and all
love Sooty

[Rusty]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hi, I'm Rusty.

All of you....Lav, Sooty, Rustop, Chill, Dill, LBH, Star, Sped, Spuddle,....have added so much to my life so I thought, at the request of a few people here, I would introduce myself.

I am 49, single, never been married and I was born and raised in Wisconsin, where I still live. I have a master's degree in journalism and 1 was in the news media for several years. For the last 12 years, I have been a consultant and trainer in the automotive industry. I own a successful company and for work, I travel all over the world: Japan, England, Spain, France, Germany and Amsterdam. For my job, I have to interact with people who work 3rd shift....which is why I have to be at work many mornings before 6:00 a.m. Most weeks, I am in 3 cities, states or countries.

I am very fortunate....I am the youngest of 5 and my mother is still living and she is my best friend. I get along with all my siblings really well...we are really close, and I have 12 nieces and nephews. They are the light of my life.

My drinking began about 5 years ago....looking back at it all. I was never a daily drinker before then but it quickly escalated due to the sudden deaths of my very best friend (breast cancer) my dad, and my brother...coupled with the break-up of a long-term relationship. In my sadness and loneliness, I drank to escape.

In October, 2008, my family confronted me out of worry. When I wasn't working 60 hours a week, I would binge on the weekends. I was unreliable and depressed. My drinking worsened until I came back to MWO after a long absence. I stayed away from MWO because when I first logged on in November, 2006, it was at a time when some of the posters were drunk, obnoxious, making no sense and abusive. I was turned off. So I stayed away from here for about 2 years. I had no experience with internet forums at all so I didn't know things like this happen from time to time.

It's been a long path to try and dig myself out of an emotional hole but with the help of all of you and the anti-craving support of NAL and BAC over the last 8 weeks, I have a boatload of AF days under my belt. MWO has been a lifesaver for me and I am grateful and happy every day. I am in Gratitude mode...I have a fabulous career, no health issues, a loving family. Now it's time to Pay it Forward and make a difference....a positive one....for both myself and others.

Thank you all for reading.

With gratitude and friendship,

Rusty

[Chillgirl]

Journey thru June - week 3

Rusty you are a wonderful sunny addition to our little gang of abstainers!

You are so obviously a kind and loving person and I think, 1. its wonderful your family felt able to confronted you and 2. that you listened. You sound like you have found your path to sobriety and that you are happy.

Im 45 (separated, as you know!) I have two older sisters and lucky to still have both parents (my Mum is my best friend too :l) At 1st I had the odacity to think my drinking had only really become a problem in recent times. Now through very sober and truthful eyes I see it has been all my life and Im still only this week recalling some terrible things my drinking caused back when I was 21. Thats when I had my 1st blackouts and they continued for over 20 years.... I was the ultimate party girl!!

Rusty its lovely to know you and I look forward to our on going dialogue..... :thumbs:

[ladybirdheart]

Journey thru June - week 3

What wonderful posts. I had no idea when I joined here what I would discover again and again. I have been feeling really blue since being stuck inside with my sprained ankle and I have received all of these sweet encouraging PMs from Sooty who is once again walking her cliffs after a similar injury. We all need examples to follow not just in finding ways to live without alcohol but in living very well without alcohol. And then today our Shelley appears at my door, not just with ?lunch? but with ginger miso glazed grilled shrimp, roasted garlic green beans; quinoa and black bean salad; orzo with spinach and feta, lemon ginger tea, and a big beautiful box of strawberries. Everything organic, everything wonderful. I was hungry, healthy, and happy. There is nothing in the world that alcohol in any form would have added. It would have been diminishing and made us stupid and sleepy. Who knew? I am so lucky to have found this place. Love, Ladybird.

[rustop61]

Journey thru June - week 3

Hi everyone

A late check in as I am chauffering my daughter from an 18th birthday party later tonight or I should say early tomorrow morning. Wow, what wonderful posts. I really enjoyed reading and catching up on what I missed during the week. Congratulations on the new grandchild Lav.

Thanks for sharing with us Rusty, Chill and Dill. You pick up on bits as you go along but its nice to read a synopsis. I'm 48, living in Ireland and happily married for nearly 26 years with 2 teenage daughters. Became a daily wine drinker through habit. Hubby likes to unwind after a long day but where as he can stop I dont always have an off button. Can moderate successfully in public and with him but if I drink alone I just cant seem to stop. Had a pretty disfunctional childhood and know a lot of it dates back to that. Drank a bottle of wine most nights for about 13 years but have had loads of AF time since joining MWO a few years ago. Have not achieved complete sobriety but am constantly working on it. The alternative is to stay away and drink myself into an early grave. Tried AA once or twice but it wasnt for me. I found it depressing, maybe because I had not reached rock bottom. People seemed to be going over the same stuff over and over again, reminding themselves how bad it was. I enjoy MWO, checking in and seeing how people are getting along and its comforting to know that there are so many others out there just like me.

Hope you all have a wonderful week-end.

Rustop