Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

[retteacher]

Everyone: I just got back from my women's meeting. We read "Bill's Story." Having read it a number of times & having seen the movie, I knew just the parts that I liked & could identify with.
"The insanity of that first drink."
"I was a lone wolf."
I don't know how it happened but I was drinking again (paraphrase).

Also, there was that huge emphasis on a higher power...not necessarily God...the God of our understanding.

It was what I needed tonight. I really struggled w/this crisis we're in. I just feel incredibly sad, angry, scared that my little girl has to go through all this. I'm feeling my feelings, but they are pretty strong. I don't want to drink...haven't even thought of it as any kind of possibility. But, now I can see why I did.

I'm hanging in. I have the support I need.

Mary

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Mary,

Life on Life's terms. You are walking the walk. I am very proud of you and, as I stated before, grateful that you will be there fully for your daughter and your family in this time.

It always seemed like a platitude to me before that a drink only makes things worse. I always thought it made things better because it made them "go away" for a while. It really does make things worse and we are not there for our loved ones when we drink. What a selfish disease. Staying sober through this trying time is the most selfless thing you can do and at the same time selfish because you know you must do what you must do to stay sober through this.

Prayers for your daughter, you and your family from me.

Cindi

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Hang in there Mary. I can't imagine or feel what you are going through but I do know that drinking helps nothing. We are all sending you our good thoughts and prayers.

[johnnyh]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

I'd just also like to say well done, well done Mary for staying sober through all of that and let not the thought start in your head that any of this would be any easier on AL. Because you know it wouldn't.

I cannot imagine what you must be going through. My little one has got an ear infection and I'm on the ropes. I cannot even try to imagine if he had something that was so serious. It would absolutely break me. Yet you're not breaking. You're strong for your girl. My highest respects to that. You're all the mother a mother could ever be.

I havn't been to a meeting since Saturday. Been busy, very busy. But will go tonight. Im excited and cannot wait. It is some me time, meeting new people, people that understand my struggles. I feel quite down at the moment and know that the meeting will put me into the right place of mind.

Be blessed,
Jonathan

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Thank you everyone. Your responses brought tears to my eyes. I woke up today feeling a little better. Yes, drinking would only make a difficult situation much, much worse. On top of all the other emotions would be a heavy overlay of guilt, shame, & self-loathing. On Thurs. she goes to the plast. surgeon who will be doing the reconstruction. I think that consult will go a long way to our feeling a little peace of mind. Once the mastectomies take place, I really feel that the worst of the journey will be behind us. Tomorrow she'll go for an MRI to see if the cancer got into the lymph nodes. My husb & I will take care of the boys...we're trying to keep life as normal as possible for them.

I'll go to a meeting tonight if I'm not needed by the family. Even if I just sit there, I find them helpful.

Mary

[johnnyh]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

That's great Mary. Do that.

Are the chances good then that the cancer will be completely removed?!
I'll keep you in prayers for your daughters check up tomorrow.

I hope the meeting will speak to you and your struggles tonight.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Hi everyone. Welcome Johnny and thanks Mary for getting things rolling for the week.

Mary, thank you so much for sharing this difficult journey. Your sobriety and steadfast committment to your plan is showing me that we CAN get through the most challenging circumstances life has to offer without drinking. Continued healing prayers for you and your daughter and familes.

Johnny, for me some meetings really "sing" and it's obvious right away what I am getting from it. Other meetings "seem" either less exciting or difficult somehow. I always get something from those too, if I look. They say our emotional growth is stunted as soon as we start drinkiing alcoholically. So for me, I have many years of growth to catch up on. There is always a lesson in there somewhere. I hope you enjoy your meeting tonight.

Cindi, I'm really happy for you that the Bac is helping with the compulsion. I can look back and see that until I found a way to completely stop drinking for a length of time, I was just spinning my wheels emotionally and spiritually. Well, and physically too. You sound better already!!

Phil, it's always good to see you. Are you home this week or on the road? We haven't had any road AA stories in a long time! Hope you and your family are all well following your mother's passing. I'm sure the pain of that keeps on going for a good while.

Tuesday is "open topic" for my home group. A guy spoke up who is fairly new to the program and seems to be doing really well. He is probably getting close to 60 days sober now. He identifies as both and alcoholic and drug addict. I think his "bottom" must have involved a DUI because he spoke of mandatory alcohol counseling. I give this guy a lot of credit because HE knows he is an alcoholic and that his life had become unmanageable. But for some reason, the alcohol counselor told him he was "an alcohol abuser, not an alcoholic." Geez. That would have had me running to the nearest bar to do some abusive, non-alcoholic drinking post haste!! He is assigned to some school type thing for alcohol abusers. He is taking it with a good attitude - he said it will just add something to his tools for sobriety.

As far as the alcohol counseling goes, one of the guys wife is an alcohol counselor. And they have been married forever. I think it's a bit :H that the future alkie and future counselor married way back when. Anyway, he pointed out that we are such LIARS as alkies that we often lie to the counselors even if we are not really intending to. It's just our nature to minimize our drinking and the consequences. He suggested that is one reason why sometimes the counselors think we are not alkies when we know we are.

Anyway...the meat of the meeting really ended up being about acceptance. The importance of acceptance in all of life of those things we cannot control. And for all of us, acceptance of the fact we are alcoholic. We talked about how many people have great difficulty with that term. I used to THINK I had difficulty with the term. That's what I would say to myself. "What a horrible label." Truth is, that was a smoke screen I threw up to distract myself from really considering the important question - am I an alcoholic and if so, what am I willing to do about it?

The day I finally accepted that I am an alcoholic is the day my sobriety and healing and growth could begin.

Have a wonderful sober day one and all.

DG

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Ah...acceptance. There's an acceptance passage in one of the stories in the BB...I think the story's title is "Acceptance is the Answer"...something like that. The ending paragraphs are so wonderful. I just picked up the BB recently, & it opened to those paragraphs (by itself). HP must be trying to tell me something. Even things we think are completely unacceptable (my daughter's cancer) have to be accepted. I have no choice.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Mary, I love the "acceptance" excerpt from the story you mention. Actually I like the whole story too. But in several meetings I've attended, someone reads the part you are referring to. Here is a link to the story if anyone would like to read it.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_t...edintime16.pdf

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

I just got back from 2 days b-sitting the g-sons. My daughter got her preliminary stuff done for the mastectomies. That'll happen June 28. I'm doing OK. Pretty exhausted. Their 5 month old lab puppy is more of a handful than the boys. He's a little like a bratty 2 yr. old...but very cute & sweet. You can almost forgive him anything.

I'm doing OK...having trouble getting to my meetings, but whenever I can, I go.

Mary

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Mary, you are being so strong. So glad you are their for your daughter and family when they need you most.

Thoughts and prayers.

Winefree

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Hi Mary. Lab pups are definitely energetic! (well, I guess ALL pups are pretty energetic) I hope you are taking good care of yourself too (rest, etc.) during this busy and stressful time. I'm learning to ask for help when I need it - something I was never willing to do before. Don't be afraid to ask Mary. I hope the time between now and the surgery moves peacefully.

Hello WF! Always good to see you.

The "stand out" for me at yesterdays meeting was one of the readings at the beginning. In this group, we always read the promises which I love. The readings not in books (promises, How it Works) are on pages that have been laminated. We couldn't find the page anywhere. So we did it from memory as a group. Some of the older timers know it cold word for word and the rest of us did our best from memory. (mine isn't too good!) but it was really nice. The moment had a special feel. Instead of freaking out and scrambling to find a missing piece of paper, we calmly dealt with it together.

I think these promises come true for us not because we go to AA specifically, but because we tackle the necessary healing from alcoholism spiritually, emotionally and physically. I signed up for the "messages from the Universe" that Greenie and M3 and others get every day, and the messages are very consistent with what we learn and do in AA. All I know is that when I didn't know WHAt to do to start healing spiritually (or even know I needed spiritual healing), I did not achieve contented sobriety.

For anyone lurking, here are the promises. They are from page 83-84 in the Big Book.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us?sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

That is such a wonderful message of hope. I am very grateful that for the most part, I am now able to maintain peace of mind and serenity.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

DG: One of Patty's neighbors asked how she could help yesterday. I said I would keep her phone # handy, but meals would be greatly appreciated right after the surgery. It felt good to connect like that. She also offered her fenced in yard for the puppy.

I love the promises. In spite of the agony we're going through right now, I can honestly say I'm grateful to be feeling my feelings & experiencing life on life's terms. I would be so distracted, conflicted, ashamed, compulsive, & all the rest of those negative emotions if I were drinking through this. No way...I'll do this sober.

If we don't go to the Relay for Life kick-off speaker tonight, I'll go to a meeting. My daughter, by the way, is such a warrior. She has her moments of tears is facing this head-on.

Mary

[Horsegirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Good Morning All ....

DG - Thanks for posting that from the Big Book. I love it when they read it at the meetings I go to.

Mary - Still keeping your family in my prayers and thoughts. You are really an awesome example to those of us new to AA and new to sobriety as well.

I am feeling so much of a difference inside as a result of the AA meetings and program I started just a few short months ago. All of this self discovery is difficult, but is also very therapeutic. Finding out I am the problem is not what I wanted to hear, but I can do something about myself, whereas I cannot do anything about other people, places or situations. I remain very grateful to all of you on this site for opening my mind to this idea. I had no idea what AA was before this, but I apparently knew enough to know that I absolutely did not belong. :blush::blush:

:welcome: johnnyh - Hope you are having as good experience as I have had with AA.

Hello to WF , Cindi, Phil and anyone else I missed.

Have a super, sober weekend!!


HG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

HG: What a lovely post! Thank God you gave AA a try. That took courage, but look what you got in return! I did get to a meeting last night. I saw friends old & new, & just talking about the principles of the program helped tremendously.

When I look back on my drinking life, I realize now what a vicious circle it was. Planning, drinking, & recovering went round & round. I came into AA because I was desperate. I didn't want to live like that anymore. Alcohol had become more important than family & friends. Now, I can be present for people, I can make sober mistakes, & I can apologize as needed. These were things I couldn't do & tried to avoid doing as an active alcoholic.

These are trying times for our family...no family is immune. But, I'm doing this sober & am there right next to my loved ones. I can be counted on for anything. That's what AA & MWO has given me.

Mary