Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Hello fellow travelers! HG, your post made me . I'm so happy for you that your experiences feel therapeutic. I had to :H at this line in your post

I had no idea what AA was before this, but I apparently knew enough to know that I absolutely did not belong.

Me too!

Mary, I'm sure grateful to be out of that planning / drinking / recovering cycle too. And like you, ultimately everything and everyone in my life took a back seat to alcohol. What a horrible way to live. And even when I was so soul sick I wanted to die, I couldn't fess up that I really was putting alcohol in front of everything else. I'm glad I can be honest about that (and the rest of it) today. Being open about the truth with other alcoholice, especially face to face (for me) has been very therapeutic. I dont' live that way any more, and my past doesn't haunt me any more. Just like the promises say. Mary you are such a wonderful example of how this program along with our willingness helps us change into the kind of people we can admire and wish to be like. I admire so much the way you are handling your daughter's illness.

I don't know if any of you happen across "Wired" magazine. There is an article in the current printed issue (I looked but couldn't find it on-line) about AA. It's a "why / how does it work?" type article. What I found interesting is that over the years, some studies have shown that some of the things we do as part of AA (talking opening in meetings) and as part of the Steps (4/5/8/9 in particular) have been shown to HEAL broken functions in the brain. As an example, alcohol (and other drugs) break down the mental connection between consequences and behaviors. This is why we continue to drink even though we KNOW there will be negative consequences. It sounds like this is the same function in the brain that would be "broken" if you kept putting your hand on the hot stove even though you've already been burned before, and you know you will get burned again. Seems like talking honestly about this stuff actually contributes to fixing the mechanics that we damaged with alcohol.

Anyway...I'm no brain surgeon so that was my layman's understanding of one of the points of interest. I will try to keep an eye out for this article and if I ever find it on line, will post a link. Of course Bill could not have possibly known the science behind any of this at the time. Another cooincidence that makes this program seem like a miracle.

The article did point out something I HAVE seen in AA meetings. Many "old timers" have an aversion to the use of drugs (i.e. Antabuse, Bac, Nal, etc.) as an aid in getting sober. That is NOT in the big book - in fact Bill W and Dr. Bob suggested that AAers should always stay close and open minded for medical advancements. So I agree with that point in the article that I wish the old timers who take that close minded point of view would open up a bit. Our Cindi (hi Cindi!) is such a great example of how a med combined with the principles of AA can really make a difference in someone's life.

I wonder if anything along those lines will be discussed at the International meeting coming up soon? Will report back!!

We read this story in the Big Book meeting today. I can really relate to this story in a lot of ways. When she talks about knowing that something was wrong inside and thinking money, marriages, etc. would fix "it." And then AL became the refuge. I felt that way too and didn't even realize what I was doing. But I was always looking outside myself for a "solution" to some problem that I didn't even understand. Then AL started being the solution. Here is the link to the story. Freedom From Bondage. I love the title.

Well, lunch break is over and now I'm headed out to the garden!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

DG: I can't remember the specifics of it, but I know I've read "Freedom from Bondage" a few times & also really related. I'll read it w/my coffee this morning.

Last night we went to our dinner club. It was a wonderful meal & all the friends in the group are normal drinkers. I, of course, didn't drink which everyone now knows is my way of life. This morning I feel completely fine & will plan a Father's Day luncheon w/the g-sons. What a wonderful gift!

Take care one & all. I'll be back later.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Mary, I thought of you when I read todays Daily Reflections:

Daily Reflections

RELEASE FROM FEAR

The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall
have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible
for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the
courage and grace to deal constructively with whatever
fears remain.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 61

Most of my decisions were based on fear. Alcohol made life
easier to face, but the time came when alcohol was no
longer an alternative to fear. One of the greatest gifts
in A.A. for me has been the courage to take action, which
I can do with God's help. After five years of sobriety I
had to deal with a heavy dose of fear. God put the people
in my life to help me do that and, through my working the
Twelve Steps, I am becoming the whole person I wish to be
and, for that, I am deeply grateful.

With one year of sobriety you are doing what it says in this reading about your fear for your daughter. I admire that. The time definitely came for me too when alcohol was no longer an alternative to fear.

I slept in today so did not go to my usual 7AM 12&12. One of my home groups is sponsoring (providing chair person and speakers) for an "away" meeting this month at 10AM. This is the one where I will be speaking next Sunday. I'm going today to support a friend from the home group who is the speaker today.

One of my AA friends had a Pampered Chef party last night. Much like my Mary Kay debut party, it was mainly the AA friends who showed up. There is always a way to make a convenient excuse and not go to these things. But it seems like the AA friend circle puts priority on supporting others. I have enjoyed recieving that support (not just with Mary Kay - in so MANY ways). I enjoy being able to give that support to others as well. It was me and Mr. Doggy's anniversary yesterday. So I had a good "built in" excuse. But Mr. Doggy went to dog training as usual yesterday so we didn't have special plans last night. We didn't even remember it WAS our anniversary until the afternoon! :H We don't make a big deal out of holidays, birthdays, etc. That's just us. But in the drinking days, I would have blown off my friends. I would have lied and said "Mr. D and I have plans." And I would have stayed home and drank myself silly.

I'm glad I don't have to live that way any more.

DG

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

I am blessed with a wonderful home group and a wonderful (but long suffering as regards to me) sponsor.

She sent me a wonderful e-mail just yesterday.

Just wanted to add a bit of humor, I have been honest with my group about my indecision to quit drinking. They have told me that AA just asks that you have a desire to quit drinking, not that you are ready to quit drinking right now. Keep comin' back!!

Well, when they read the 9th Step promise while I am there, they usually come to the point where it says "They are being fulfilled among us?sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly," they drag out the word sloooowwwlly and look at me and smile.

Mary, thinking of you and so happy that you are there for your family. Was the surgery scheduled for June 28th? I can't recall. Also, how did the other tests go? Has the cancer spread to her lymph nodes? Have they diagnosed the stage of cancer yet? I am probably asking too many questions but I have a mama who had breast cancer twice, and several dear friends who have had it. My mom is now 86 years old and cancer free for 20+ years, my friends have all survived. One even had Stage 3 cancer and is kicking around Little Rock, AK as happy as you please. This is 10 years later.

DG, WF, Phil, Horsegirl, Johnny, glad you are here!!

Love,
Cindi

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Cindi, I love that story about your home group and slloooowwwwly! I love your honesty. That is so critical it's like nothing else can happen until we are willing to be brutally honest and stop just trying to convince ourselves of whatever it is we want to hear.

Speaking of that.... I am amazed sometimes at how things line up where something happens that is so relevent to something else. I went to hear the speaker at the "away" meeting who is from my home group. I'm really glad I got to hear his whole story. (well, the 40 minute version anyway rather than just the small blurbs in regular meetings) He is not only a no BS person (AT.ALL.) but he is a very deep person as well. He reminds me of Hippie in that way. I realized as I was listening to him talk that I have mixed emotions when I see him walk into a meeting. (he is not there every day like some of the home groupers) He is deep and no bullshit and sometimes it feels like he can see right through me. He makes me think and he makes ME dig deeper. That is where real growth can happen but it's sure more comfortable to skim along on the surface of things rather than digging around in the pain zones.

Very very appropriate for me today.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Greetings all. I spent this week at home...wow...and at my 630am group every day. It was a nice change from the road.
By the way, I made it through 7 days and nights in Las Vegas with no problems. Went to 3 meetings, the first was a gay aa group. Not gay and lesbian, just gay. It was not advertised that way, but really was no big deal, just another AA meeting.

My last night there after the trade show, I met up with friends in the industry that I've known for 20 years or so. When one guy found out I was not drinking, he was stunned. He and I used to close bars (not in Vegas of course, although we tried). So it was fun to watch his reaction to my not drinking.
The good thing is that I am now "outed" as a non-drinker. That feels good.

Hope you all have a good week.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Hi Cindi: No, you are not asking too many questions. Patty's surgery is June 28th. She'll have the lymph node biopsy when they are doing the mastectomies. We're praying for clear nodes...she wouldn't need follow-up radiation or chemo.

The other critical part of your recovery, Cindi, is that you keep coming back. That, along w/the rigorous honesty, is what will bring you the sobriety you're wanting so much. Never, ever give up. At tonight's meeting, right before the reading began, we ask if someone has a "burning desire." One woman spoke up that she has been thinking about using (she's cross-addicted) all day today. She felt that she shouldn't keep it inside. If the obsession didn't leave her, she was planning on making calls every hour until it did leave her.

DG: I loved the reading about fear. I do have a "heavy dose of fear" right now. But I know (for sure) that alcohol "is no longer an alternative." No, I have to face this sober. It's what I have to do.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Phil, it's great to see you as always. :yougo: on making it through your week in Vegas sober! Especially with people you used to try to close bars with in a place where the bars just don't close. Funny...I'm reaching a point where people knowing I don't drink is the comfortable way for me to be. It sort of brings my old past up current with my "now" or something (if that makes any sense which it probably doesn't!) Part of this sobriety process for me, beyond just the not drinking part, has been reconciling my outer self and inner self into the same person. It felt like two different people for a really long time.

Mary, I will let Sister know your daughters surgery date and she will be on the prayer list. 90 nuns praying can never hurt. LOL, when Sister adds any of her AA friends / family to the prayer list, she always uses the last name "McGilicuddy." I bet some of the nuns think there is a really really huge McGillicuddy family out there somewhere.

When I hear stories like that of the woman in your meeting with the desire to use, and her plan for the day, it makes me hopeful that with the support of you guys and my AA group (or a strange AA group if needed) I CAN stay sober.

The guy who spoke at the away meeting today was talking to me after the meeting. He has been sober 24 years. He quoted the part in the big book about the times when we will have no mental defense against the first drink. He said there have been 4 times in that 24 years where he felt he truly had no mental defense of his own, and had to rely on his higher power and the power of the fellowship to carry him through it. I have found myself thinking about that here and there throughout the day. THAT is what I need a solid plan for. Those times. They are sure to come at some point. In the mean time, I am grateful that right now, life is pretty darn good. I'm grateful to be sober and enjoying each day rather than looking for reasons to be upset and have excuses to drink.

DG

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

I just got an e-mail about the upcoming convention in San Antonio. It's getting closer so starting to feel more "real." There are "Big Meetings" Friday and Saturday night at the Alamodome. I googled that just to see it and try to imagine what those Big Meetings might feel like. Welcome to San Antonio's Alamodome Holy moly. I still can't imagine it!

DG

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Doggygirl - If you are flying into San Antonio, be sure and look for jackrabbits that live in the grassy areas between the runways. I've never failed to see a few any time I've flown in or out of SA. They're really cool - much bigger than a bunny (cottontail) with huge ears that stand straight up. They're a fun welcome to Texas.

[Gaia]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of June 14 - 20

Just following the thread as usual.
Mary I continue to hope for the best for your daughter, and watch with honor to you as you go through this.
Cindi I like reading about your experiences too, and can appreciate how honest you are. At least you keep searching. If you keep at it I have not doubt you are capable of getting to where you want to be.
Hi Phil - we have not 'met' before but I lived in Texas for a long time. And I agree it's funny to watch people's reactions when you tell them you are not drinking. But I'm still new so actually it's not that funny yet. Actually really it will never be funny. Strange maybe.
DG are you going to SA? Hope you like mexican food! It will be hot hot hot also. And crowded on the river walk. Bring mosquito repellant!