friday 25 June af daily

[bear73]

hello all - well no two ways about it I drank - 3 glasses of wine - but 3 too many.
It wasn't a 'lapse' or a 'slip' - I drank. fullstop.

In spirit of no bullshit I convinced myself when I was at dessert with a friend that I NEEDED the wine she was drinking. I feel bit jittery and anxious today but today I will be AF - I may have freaked myself out by making a big commitment yesterday.

The best way for me to keep that big commitment is 1 drink at a time - I'm off to re-read my AA book 'living sober'.

Today I am off to see friend and her new baby - taking lunch and cake with me.
This afternoon it's sitting in the garden and listening to hypno tapes and then later on roller derby training.
Have a good day all to come - day 1 af and day 6 nf.

[Chillgirl]

friday 25 June af daily

Hi Bear - Well I admire you for stopping at 3 glasses, if I'd had a taste for that wine I would have continued till oblivion. I noticed you are 6 days NF so dont be too hard on yourself its a huge task to give up both at the same time. Lunch, cake and garden sound like a nice way to spend the day.

I have had a to-do list all week and have been using the terrible excuse thats its too hot so today we have a cloudy day and Im going to attack it with a vengence!

[Guitarista]

friday 25 June af daily

Hiya Bear, Chilli, and all to drop in,

Go for it Bear! And roller derby sounds wild. We have a growing competition near me, and sat. night's are apparently packed out. There's a waiting list of a couple of hundred women to sign up for training/competition etc....I've gotta go sometime.

Are you vaccuming too Chilli? I hate vaccing..well, the idea of it. I actually enjoy it when i get going....about once a year.

Off to a gig now to make beautiful music....Yeah!
A safe, sober, and magical day to all!

[Marshy]

friday 25 June af daily

Hi all,

Hot here again. Picked my first homegrown salad leaves this AM and they're in a sandwich I've brought into work. (I know it's late, I didn't get round to sowing them until late).

Mum had a bronchoscopy yesterday. It all went OK. She's relieved the tests are out of the way now and it sounds as though she's been treated very well throughout, with care and efficiency, which has made the whole thing so much easier to cope with. I don't know when she'll get the results yet. Her consultant has said he'll drain the fluid off her lungs next week sometime.

Lav - thanks for that link. Very interesting - and much more informative than stuff I had found on Wikipedia!

bear73;894627 wrote: 1 drink at a time.

I'm assuming that's a Freudian slip? :H

Have a good day all!

[Doggygirl]

friday 25 June af daily

Morning all! Marshy, I'm so glad to hear that your Mom is at least being tested and cared for with speed and a nice bed side manner. I'm sure that is making a difficult situation a bit easier on her and also you and Dad.

Bear, over time it is very easy to see that you want to get sober. I think in all of us there is a little part that also wants to drink. The bigger that conflict, the bigger the challenge. In any case, this is just an observation so take it for whatever it is worth. We all know that different strokes work for different folks.

It seems to me that you are trying to live much the same way without AL that you did with AL - just without the AL. Especially early in sobriety, that doesn't work for a lot of people. It didn't work for me. I couldn't go out to dinner with friends who were drinking, etc. Now I can, but I had to get some sober time under my belt. Maybe you could see your friends at lunch or breakfast or in some other non-drinking venue rather than out to dinner with wine being served? I had to radically look at everything in my life and get far, far away from AL for a long time.

Congrats on your NF time! Both quits are a bugger.

Hi Chill and G and all to come!

zoom zoom...

DG

[Lavande]

friday 25 June af daily

Good morning Abbers!

Boy DG - I have to agree with you. Making changes to support my commitment to quit drinking was essential! Changing my thinking is what did it for me

Bear, keep trying, you'll get there!

Marshy, good to hear your Mum is receiving the attention she needs. Hope she is feeling better.

Mr G - you vacuum once a year?????
I'd be suffocating in dog hair if I did that!!!!!

Well, I need to get outside to survey the damage from yesterday's storm. Our power failure lasted for 8 hours but I didn't suffer much thanks to my beloved generator

Wishing everyone a fabulous AF Friday!
Lav

[greeneyes]

friday 25 June af daily

Fab Abbers!!

Bummer bear! I can't put a toe over the line. I agree with DG. Until your resolve is stronger than the opposing voice, dodge the situations.

The fact that I don't drink came up with the painters - well one I was chatting with about frozen fruit while eating the grapes. I usually just say I gave up my evil ways and that's that. But he asked why. (hummm that's new - maybe he has evil ways) I said it releases my inner wildness that is best kept under wraps. He said something along the lines of that being good (as in fun). I said it is not a good thing for me especially since I don't have a cut off button and besides, I'm so much happier without it. He seemed to really ponder on that. I hope those chance conversations that happen are really meant to be for the other person and that it puts something in motion. Who knows....

My house looks fantastic. The painter put a lawn chair and umbrella in the middle of the front yard as a joke but I really do sit in it and admire, it much to their amusement. Plus I think it makes them feel proud of their work as I sit there and rave. :H

I've got to spend the day hopping around downtown sweatting my arse off in the little car. Talk about heat wave! We have that WITH humidity. Little doggie got her first haircut yesterday and she looks SOOO cute!

Marshy, that's good things went smoothly with your mom's tests. DG, how's step coach and LVT, Terry?

Wonder how leelou is doing. And what happened to det?

Absolutely no time for drinking and hangers for this one!!

[momof3]

friday 25 June af daily

Hello All,

Marshy, I'm happy to hear that the tests are done with your mom now. Let's all offer up a few prayers that all turns out well for her!

Bear, ditto what everyone else said. May I suggest that you take a look at your posts over time on this forum ...my observation is that your are conflicted over whether you can mod or if you really have a drinking problem. If you are really serious about being AF, lifestyle changes are huge, so is serious commitment and a solid plan. You can't become sober by just taking away the Al or by announcing that it is "Day 1" for you after you relapse. There is a new thread that was started in the Long-Term Abstainers section titled "Abstinence Change Your Lifestyle" that you might want to check out.

Greenie, sounds like the house is shaping up!

Lav, DG, Chill, Gaia, Guitarista and everyone else....have a great weekend.

I'm headed out for a canoe or rafting trip with the family tomorrow. Then a two-hour yoga workshop on Sunday.

It is as hot as hell here. Not a good sign...it's only June!

[bear73]

friday 25 June af daily

Thanks all for comments - mom of 3 - thanks for your post - food for thought.

I AM conflicted - I don't drink until I lose jobs/drunk drive/I haven't yet got really ill /caused major hassle in my life BUT I notice that when I try to mod I quickly end up back at 30 units a week, I tend to drink if I feel low and drinking makes that worse, I then put on weight and miss my exercise, I then smoke.

I also think do I wait until I get to the major hassle stage/it's a gamble that I will/won't - but is it one worth taking?Rationally no it's not.

I'm someone who drinking makes life worse for - my mum drinks at least half a bottle of sherry a night and same of wine every night so I am also aware of family history.

I find it hard to stop at amount I've said I will have when I do drink. I've failed to carry out plans day after drinking due to hangovers - I always worry I've upset people/been unpleasant if I have slight memory loss(I haven't but it makes me anxious).
All of these things are things which are seen as having a problem with drink - and I agree with that.

I need to make my own decision on this (I sometimes wish someone could wave a magic wand and say yes or no but life isn't like that!) - just trying to set it all out in case it helps me/anyone else.
How do you decide?

[greeneyes]

friday 25 June af daily

bear73;895193 wrote: How do you decide?



I tend to drink if I feel low and drinking makes that worse, I then put on weight and miss my exercise, I then smoke.

I've failed to carry out plans day after drinking due to hangovers - I always worry I've upset people/been unpleasant if I have slight memory loss(I haven't but it makes me anxious).
All of these things are things which are seen as having a problem with drink - and I agree with that.

Read this over a couple times, bear. Is that how you want to live life?

[Marshy]

friday 25 June af daily

I've just done my usual Friday night drunken cycle home from work. No, wait, I'M sober - everyone else is drunk. There's one particular road I go down, a backstreet with bars/pubs along both sides, and because not many cars go down there loads of people spill out into the road, especially when it's warm like tonight. Lots of people to dodge - fun :H
I'm having some ice-cream while I wind down before bed.

Momof3 - I envy you the canoe trip. I love being on water, in water, near water.

Greenie - I can picture you on the lawn chair shouting out orders :H

Lav - any damage?

DG - how's the jam factory?


:bedtime::bedtime:

[greeneyes]

friday 25 June af daily

Marshy;895215 wrote: Greenie - I can picture you on the lawn chair shouting out orders :H

HEY!! I said rave, not rant!! :H

[Lavande]

friday 25 June af daily

No property damage here Marshy - guess I lucked out!
Turns out the storm did much more damage 40-50 miles north of here - including Philadelphia!

Just picked 2 more quarts of raspberries...........they keep coming!!!!
Wish I could put some in the mail for all of you

[Doggygirl]

friday 25 June af daily

Rasberries are still coming here too. And still mulberries. So there will be another jamarama here tomorrow afternoon! Then I have to go sell raffle tickets at a "Taste of Hometown" event. 10,000 Maniacs are the main event tomorrow night. I plan to park my butt at the beer tent at whatever point in the line people get out their wallets. I'm hoping to be "sold out" before the maniacs hit the stage.

What a long day, but a good day! Hello to everyone - I enjoyed reading all the posts.

Bear, I never got a DUI. Never got a divorce. Technically never lost a job due to drinking. (I quit before getting fired. :H) I just got to a point where I was so sick of the cycle of drinking, hangovers, inability to control drinking, constantly either drinking or thinking about drinking that I just wanted to kill myself.

The elevator just keeps going down. If you are pretty sure you have a problem, and just from your activity here over time it seems you are pretty sure of that, it will only get worse. It did for me. I bet it did for everyone here. It just keeps getting worse and worse with the consequences until we either stop or die. That's just where this thing goes for most of us. You've already seen how rare it is for people to be able to reign it in. But you are right - this HAS to be up to you. Where I BS'd myself for YEARS was the continued stuggle trying to reign in what could not be reigned in. I hate to see you going through that when life has so much more to offer, and you have a lot of good stuff going on in yours.

OK - enough from me. I want to wait until it cools off and then go pull up a lawn chair next to greenies. WE WANT PICS!! Happy for you that the project turned out well. I know what you mean about those conversations. I try to tell the truth in a situationally appropriate way, and who knows. Maybe something of the truth makes a difference sometimes more than some BS would.

Lav, I'm glad no damage for you.

Marshy dodging drunks on her bike. I want video!

M3, have fun rafting / canoeing! Your life seems very active now. Abbie Fabbie!

Well, time for me to hit the shower and then the hay. I think I'll have some ice cream before bed. Because I DESERVE some ice cream today.

Another sober one down the hatch!

DG