af daily sat 3 July

[bear73]

Hey all - I've lost two pounds this week with my hypno diet - very pleased! Most I've lost in a week in ages.

Well off skating again today - need to shave legs and apply fake tan tho as it's bare legs weather - noooo!

Off to wedding anniversary BBQ later on today - feeling much more in control today - realised I need to toughen up my personal boundaries - at work and in relationships.
Called work counselling line yesterday and one of their counsellors will call me back on Monday so I can talk through that.

I have choices and can say no to things that I don't feel are reasonable - I'm terrified of disapproval/rejection as it confirms my fear that I will be rejected. Working on that one!
Wishing all people with ill loved ones all the best today.
see you all tomorrow - day 8 NF and day 9 AF - double figures tomorrow!

[Guitarista]

af daily sat 3 July

Great going Bear!
A clear head is pretty handy.

A safe, sober, and magical weekend to all!

[papmom3]

af daily sat 3 July

Papmom3 checking in!! Hope to have pics of the newly lanscaped pond (new pond too) later today. Stay tuned!!

way to go Bear!! You keep that great attitude about you this afternoon, OK???

Morning G!!

[1967]

af daily sat 3 July

Checking in myself.
Yesterday was not good for me. I wrote a long post and lost it. I will write again later. Gotta get some things done around the house like wash the dogs!
Good day to all.

[Guitarista]

af daily sat 3 July

Chin up 1967, chin up friend. Today is a fresh opportunity.

[Gaia]

af daily sat 3 July

Hello,

1967 how are you now? What happened yesterday? Tell me about your profile picture, it's haunting!

Marshy I hope things are 'going ok' for your mom. It's good that you are strong for her. Sounds like it's a rough situation. I hope her pain eases.

Hi G, papmom, and Bear. Bear are you an inline skater? Great job on the weight loss, and of course to all of us on staying AF.

I had a rough moment last night when my friends were all drinking huge strong drinks while cheering for Brazil. (boo they lost) They never asked me about anything, but it was weird. I kept this smile pasted on my face when I felt like crying. Everytime I went into the kitchen, everyone went out. When I went out, they came in to make drinks. It was nothing personal, and not mean or exclusive, it's just after a few times of watching them mix drinks I didn't want to be part of it anymore so I went outside. Then when they would come outside with drinks I would go help in the kitchen. I think as they see a change by my not drinking it feels weird to all of us. If they always knew me as a non-drinker it would have just passed. I look forward to meeting new people, and more non-drinkers.

So some things are going well, others have their moments, but on balance all is ok.

See you later!

[Lavande]

af daily sat 3 July

Morning all!

It is easier being around non drinkers Gaia, no doubt! But I think the longer you are AF the less you actually care what others are drinking. At least that has been my experience! Just keep remembering how good you feel being AF

1967, hope all is well! Are we seeing a self portrait? Interesting!

Greetings G & Papmom3.

Today is a prep day for me. Tomorrow the whole gang will be here (except my son - he's working all weekend). BBQ, bonfire & a terrific view of the local fireworks right from my backyard. Even my MIA spouse has agreed to come. I'm ready to treat my grandson to his first ice cream cone - betting he'll love it

Wishing everyone a safe & sober day!
Lav

[1967]

af daily sat 3 July

Morning... yes this is a self portrait.
I look at it and think I really was born in the wrong century. Or perhaps, there is still a lot of me based in a previous life and time. It's okay.

Yesterday.. well... here we go:
The post i lost was about the fact i drank on Thursday. I drank 2 bottles of wine in like 10 hours.
i got frustrated waiting for them to service my scooter. It took 4 hours! so i finally went for lunch and had 2 glasses of wine.
then i bought a bottle after the new mechanic asked me 'when was the last time YOU were lubricated?" i swear to god i hate these local men. they are turning me into a racist.
i am not a racist. i swear but i see them i think 'ewhhh!!' why do they have to be so base? so many are just think of there most base needs and so they assume everyone else is like this too. horrible. i find them threatening... and the result of this threat is I drink.

Anyhow, then when i woke yesterday i didn't want to feel the hangover, so i had two beer and the rest of the wine.

i was vomiting in the evening.

i think i have convinced myself now that i cannot drink ANYTHING ever. it is downhill after the first sip.

i am not starting to count from day one. i just can't. once i get to 30 days i will wait until day 32 to give myself a month.
I have to get better. I just have to.
Let me mix paint and work on my elephant.

[papmom3]

af daily sat 3 July

1967-that is a beautiful self portrait-both in the skill and talent you have and in how obviously beautiful you are!! I'd like to see one with a smile!!

I'm sorry the mechanic was so horribly rude. i'm thinking if you hadn't had those 2 glasses at lunch, his remark although inexcusible and so crass, maybe would not have bothered you so much. You were already in drinking mode so I think his words were all the excuse you needed to continue. If it hadn't been him, it would have been something else. Take this as a lesson. At some point some of us do have the lightbulb moment when we totally accept the fact that we can't have even one drink because it never stops at that. Never. Ever. Once we accept that, there is relief because all of a sudden the choice isn't there anymore and there are no more inner struggles. Go back to the Toolbox and make a list of what you can do when those triggers hit. Bored? Take a walk, go to the library, go shopping (not wine). You were bored and probably annoyed that the skooter was taking so long. You chose to deal with it by drinking. You can choose to deal with situations other ways. Am I making sense? I feel like I am rambling. Anyway, if you want the sober AF life bad enough, you will find a way to do it. Reread the MWO book, readjust your supplements if you are using them-if not, get them if you can. Ask your doctor for Topa or Nal or Bac or if you can't come clean with him/her, then ask the med thread how to get this stuff without a prescription. Or, try antibuse. do whatever you have to to be successful, if you want it bad enough.
Keep us posted and don't be afraid to ask questions.
:l

[1967]

af daily sat 3 July

papmom3 you are making PERFECT sense.
hot, tired, irritated are all things that happen. i HAVE to learn that drinking makes things worse, not better. I am so used to popping a little wine in my mouth to feel better.
It doesn't work. I was keep thinking yesterday it is like I am testing myself as to how far I can take things.
Really not how I want to live life.
It has been going on far too long, enough is enough.

I am not taking supplements but will start some Nal.

I am glad you like my picture.
We don't paint portraits with a smile. It is just one of those art rules. Teeth end up looking funny.
Think of all the classic oil portraits you've even seen, no one is ever smiling. My most favorite American portrait artist is Sergent. Do a google search... awesome painter.

You know when I paint, I am happy. When I am working I don't have time for it, however, i do seem to have time to drink. That is going to CHANGE. I am done.

[1967]

af daily sat 3 July

went and picked up my lunch and will have a nap soon.
gotta be careful and rejuvenate the damage i did yesterday.
i will be posting a lot so please feel free to ignore me appropriate.

(note: i need to learn to be more assert with these local men.
i just went to town to pick up my lunch and one of the taxi drivers was like 'come this way!'
well i didn't want to because i would have to go over a big curb and i don't like that.
so i said no.
he said well don't go that way because you might hit the van and have other problems.
i said 'no, your life is filled with problems, mind is not.'
he just stared at me.
i will stand up for myself and not be bullied. And i am fine, i am not nervous)

[papmom3]

af daily sat 3 July

You post all you want 1967. Start a new thread just about you if you think it will help. I started one in May in the general section as a journal of my AF journey and it really helped. I still post in it a few times a week-not as often as I used to but now I don't feel like i need it as much.
I didn't know that about self portraits but then again i have no art genes in me whatsoever!! They hit my aunt(paternal), my grandfather(paternal), my brother and my nephews(most are from their dad), but not me. My favorite artist is a local wildlife artist who also happens to be a great friend. he'll never end up in the museums like Audobon I don't think but he has illustrated some parts of popular birding field guides so that's pretty cool!!
You tell those local men where to go!! I'm sort of lucky in that I'm too old and was never pretty enough for men to take the time to be lewd and flirty with me but I would have no trouble telling them where to get off if they ever did LOL!! where is Netherland Antilles anyway? I could google it but I'm too lazy right now. I take it you are not from there originally?
Oh yes, it is amazing what can be accomplishes when we are not drinking!! I'm taking an online class, have become a voracious reader and even take the dogs for evening walks when the weather cooperates!!! Oh, and I never have to try to remember if I fed them or not anymore!! and that's just what I do every evening. Never mind the things I get accomplished on weekends because I'm not hungover anymore!!

[dancelot]

af daily sat 3 July

papmom3;901695 wrote: I'm sort of lucky in that I'm too old and was never pretty enough for men to take the time to be lewd and flirty with me but I would have no trouble telling them where to get off if they ever did LOL!!

Papmom - Age, looks, etc, is not an issue with these guys, trust me. If it's a woman and it's alive.... :H ....they tend to be very blunt to put it mildly.

On the plus side, on two different occasions, two of these guys (one a total stranger) are the only people (out of 3 total in my entire life) I know who actually came right out to my face and told me I drank too much (in a concerned way). Neither one was hitting on me either or attempting to take advantage of the situation.

[1967]

af daily sat 3 July

the Netherlands Antilles is in the Caribbean.
No, I am not from here originally. I was born in NH.
Trouble is have red hair and stick out like a sore thumb.

I really don't like having to be rude because someone is rude to me. I don't bother people and I really don't understand why these guys need to bother me. It is their way of flirting, I get it, but I don't like it.

Anyhow, we had a nice little nap. Feels good!

[papmom3]

af daily sat 3 July

Fellow New Englander!!! what brought you to the NA?

I know, rudeness is not fun no matter what but sometimes you gotta do it to make sure they get the message I think. I remember being in Cancun chaperoning a school spring break trip about 25 years ago and I couldn't beleive what was coming out of the native guys' mouths towards the girls, even me!!

I just had a nice nap too!! too hot to continue with the pond but will do so in a bit. going to sleep well tonite!!