AF Daily - Tues July 13

[greeneyes]

Good morning fab abbers!

This weekend I spoke with a friend about her wedding. She said she had a great time after she got rid of her maid of honor. Maid of honor seems to be an alcoholic who got out of control immediately after the wedding and had to be helped away from the reception. Friend had not talked to her since and was still very angry. I could feel all the guilt and shame for the maid. I tried to explain to friend how the maid probably felt and that nothing was done on purpose, etc.... but the friend thrives on being somewhere in between warrier against injustices and victim. Why did she knowingly pick an alcoholic for a maid of honor at an alcoholic event?? Grateful, grateful, grateful I am to be sober.

No AL crosses these sweet lips today!!

ZOOOOOOOOooooooommmmmmmm......

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Hope the maid is ok Greenie. I love the fact that i've seen and lived that other drunken side, in that it gives me perspective with people, and a lot more compassion and understanding. What a freakin lesson though.....nearly killed me! :H (i can laugh now!)

Happy AF ing Abber's!

[Rusty]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Hi Greenie,

Uggghhhh.....that reminds me of the movie "28 Days" with Sandra Bullock. I am lucky that I never made a fool out of myself at weddings when I was drinking but I've had friends who've had best men ruin the groom's wedding with obnoxious behavior associated with AL. No, my friends were not very forgiving about the drunkenness, especially when the wedding videos arrived.

Why did she pick an alcoholic for a maid of honor? Probably out of loyalty, being afraid of hurting the maid's feelings, and that ever nagging thought that if she gave her one more chance, there is no way the maid would allow AL to ruin her wedding....that she could "behave" herself on her wedding day. So sorry to hear that. Maybe if the maid sees a wedding video with her in it, she might change her ways. It did work for my friend whose best man ruined the wedding.

[bear73]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

evening all, it's interesting the choices we make sometimes isn't it (and I totally include myself in that!)

Day 3 here and am reading allan carr 'easy way to control alcohol', I hate the way he writes BUT the message is sinking in. I really like the pitcher plant analogy and it's easy to remember.

My job is under threat following announcements about NHS reform - I have been very angry about it - both because I believe deeply in the values of the NHS and think the reforms are deeply damaging/ill thought out - and because beiing able to pay the mortgage is nice!!

I've booked some career advice and will use it to look at a new direction, got to roll with it - and this falls under the category of 'accept what you can't change'.

Tonight will be a lazy night - deciding what to cook for tea - I fancy comforting cheesy pasta with lots of mushrooms and spinach.

Good night all to come and see you tomorrow for another AF day

[bear73]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

pasta was a bit rubbish - BUT cleaned kitchen and bathroom MUCH needed - now feeling quite pleased with self.couple of squares of dark chocolate and decaf coffee as a treat

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Hi Greenie and G and Rusty! Wow what a story about the wedding. I think where the disconnect happens might be:

1. Bride: Doesn't realize that an alcoholic CANNOT make a deliberate choice to "not get too drunk." Odds are, the drunken state WILL happen once that first drink goes down the hatch, especially given the reception atmosphere.

2. Maid: Had best of intentions not to get too drunk. Still doesn't accept that there is no choice in the matter (maybe dumb luck on occassion) once the first drink goes down the hatch, especially given the reception atmoshere.

How many times did I get drunk and embarrass myself in my drinking life? Countless many times. I NEVER ONCE set out to do that. I always made a decision that I would "control myself." Do normal drinkers sometimes misjudge and over do it? Yes. In the 12 years we've been married, Mr. Doggy did that one time. Seems every 10 years or so he has to over drink to remind himself what a hangover feels like. I am SO not normal!

Well, I got distracted at about noon and am just now finishing this post. I am a slave to my garden. You know that appeal I made for zuke recipes? Scratch that. Bring on the cuke recipes.

DG

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Hi Bear - X posted. Great attitude about the possible job shake up. And the pasta sure sounded good to me! Congrats on Day 3.

DG

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Hiya DG,

Excuse my ignorance, or from year's in my self contained abyss, but what's zuke and cuke? Am sure it's just a different name for a food i know well.....

Bear, best wishes with your possible career/job change. I know that being af in such situation's is a huge stabiliser for us, and help's us immeasurably in staying strong, clear headed, and focused.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

G,
Zucchini aka Zuke
Cucumber aka Cuke

Just caught up a bit on yesterdays thread. P3, I LOVE your pond!!!! DG wants one too. We planted a little japanese maple here a few years ago and I just LOVE it. In fact I need to remember to tell Mr. D to go out tonight and check it for Japanese beatles. I love trees with leaves that are other than green! (but I love all green PEOPLE greenie! :H)

Uni, I'm really amazed that the docs are telling you that drinking is OK. Everything I have ever heard suggests that even NORMAL levels of drinking can negatively affect people with depression or anxiety. A friend of mine (normal drinker) was having issues with panic attacks and stopped drinking completely (at the suggestion of his doctor) and in his case, the panic attacks stopped completely. Also, I heard a speaker at the recent AA convention who was there in his professional capacity as an internist and psychiatrist. (he is not an alcoholic himself but treats many many many in his practice - it's a specialty for him). He said that he encourages ANYONE who is suffering from depression to stop drinking alcohol. This goes for normies too. He said that in his experience in his practice, 85% of the patients who drink regularly (even if not alcoholically) and come to him for depression do not have clinical level depression any more when they stop drinking.

I agree with Marshy that FAR from everyone going to AA agrees with absolutely everything the AA founders believed in. I hope if you do go there, you find benefit from the face to face support. I sure have too.

M3, I am so jealous of you in the smokies!

Lav, how is Kitty today?

Marshy, I too vote a or b. Thinking of your Mom.

Hello to everyone else!

DG

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Ah, of course! Thank's DG.

Best wishes everyone!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

I got a new car radio today! My CD player has been broken for years and now that I drive it even long distances I HAD to do something. So now I can listen to music or books on CD from the library, plug in my i-pod OR my sirius radio! Yipee! Little car is a noisy ride so silence wasn't that great.

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

greeneyes;910438 wrote: I got a new car radio today! My CD player has been broken for years and now that I drive it even long distances I HAD to do something. So now I can listen to music or books on CD from the library, plug in my i-pod OR my sirius radio! Yipee! Little car is a noisy ride so silence wasn't that great.

Bravo Greenbottom! You know, that's something i need to address too. I shall send you some track's from my forthcoming album soon if you'd like? :h

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Guitarista;910440 wrote: Bravo I shall send you some track's from my forthcoming album soon if you'd like? :h

DG wants some too!!!!

DG

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

DG, i presume you're talking about my album track's!....;-)

You got it friend. It may take me a couple of weeks to get it together, but i won't forget. Thank's for your interest, and it'll be my absolute pleasure.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tues July 13

Guitarista;910461 wrote: DG, i presume you're talking about my album track's!....;-)

You got it friend. It may take me a couple of weeks to get it together, but i won't forget. Thank's for your interest, and it'll be my absolute pleasure.

Guitarista is a naughty naughty boy in a bathrobe.

:H