Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Cindi I still struggle with that one sometimes too. I guess it's the destiny of us strong independent types! And yet doing everything selfishly as I used to do sure wasn't making me happy. I wanted to kill myself when I was full on in my drinking / pity party mode and I can't forget that.

Part of my problem was coming up with a concept of "God's Will" that I could relate too. On the surface, that phrase "God's Will" just is so *big* to me that I can't quite wrap my head around it or understand it. Somebody was talking in a meeting about that one day in a way that helped me a lot. For me these days, I think of "God's Will" as simply the RIGHT thing. Deep down I have a sense of right and wrong and I'm developing that sense more fully with each passing day working the steps, and watching and listening to others who have what I want in life. (peace and serenity) If I keep trying to do what's right instead of what's selfish, then I believe I am at least on the right track. I think "God's Will" is something that lives inside of me. It's just not the selfish part of me. It's the other part.

As I continue to work on this program, it seems that with time what *I* want gets more in line with what is right rather than what is selfish. I'm starting to think that true peace of mind and serenity happens when what I WANT to do IS "God's Will." That doesn't happen all the time in my life, but sometimes it happens. And those are the moments I think I feel that peace and serenity that I so desire.

I don't know if that makes any sense but that is the stuff I think about. Good subject Cindi. And good honesty.

ETA: That reminded me of the time that Sister and I talked about the difference between spirituality and religion. We talked about seeing religion as something that is outside of ourselves (the part of her that is Catholic) and spirituality as something inside of ourselves (the part of her that found her God, which she says happened around the tables). I like thinking of religion v. sprituality in that way.

DG

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Hi there,

Hey Cindi I'll put my 2 cents in here too.. The part of me that held onto drinking for sooo many years was MY WILL! but deep down there was a whisper constantly telling me this was not good, not right. but of course I chose to put that aside. My will (Pride, ego whatever) re: alcohol was not healthy. remember that turning your will over over to God I think means anything related to keeping you Sober.
I have had to step back and really reflect on the phrase in that step.. ( as I understood him) and maybe if that is messed up because of my past I need to rethink and redraw what God means to me.

I'm still very new at the AA thing but I've constantly been searching for a more spirtual life and I know I was not getting it with alcohol. So all I'm trying to do right now is my feeble attempt at prayer and since all the long time sober people in AA are very adament that the only way to long term sobriety is with that spiritual piece (peace) I am willing to give a try, but its a daily thing for me.
Sorry for the rambling.. this is a very good topic.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

On "God's will" - what I found helps me is my old standby, "baby steps". Try using it for little everyday things, little worries, I mean just whatever. See how it turns out. I've found a lot of positive results. I add in big gratitude when good happens, again, even little stuff. I feel it puts me more in touch with my spiritual side, so it becomes more like a running conversation with God (sort of!).

Just like when we first ponder the idea of giving up alcohol, it is so overwhelming. Break it into smaller bits, and it's a lot easier. Something I have heard many times at meetings is "God's timeline", which might be different than ours. Not necessarily instant gratification, which we want or expect. This has taught me to be more patient as well.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Hi all. I made myself go to the women's 12 step meeting today. The one I went to last friday. I just am really uncomfortable with big groups of women. But I know the best way to GET comfortable is to go where the problem is, and work on it. The discussion today was about step 2 and the "sanity / insanity" issue. Many people talked of the insanities they grew up with and lived in their own drinking lives. Believe me. If these women can get and stay sober, then the rest of us can do it too. I confessed my own insane fear of groups of women. That was hard to say, but I did. I'm glad I did. They just accept it.

Then I went to my meeting with Sister. We officially completed the review of Step 12. Now the REAL work begins. Next we are going to review her approach to Steps 1,2 and 3 since I did those with someone else. I would like to know her way of approaching all of the steps. Then this fall we are going to start reviewing the traditions. I like studying and learning this program of recovery that has been studied and learned and lived by so many millions of people in 75 years. I feel a connection to it.

Cher and Dance, I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on "God's Will." I'm realizing I will never be done with the steps. I'm growing with them or something like that.

DG

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Concept of Higher Power

Right now my sponsor has me for our next meeting thinking and writing about what my ideal higher power/God would be like? And what is opposite of that. Obviously, as alchoholics I think we all agree we need a higher power that's accepting and forgiving and patient, but what else? And I really have to think, spirit, person, man? Jesus? Conciousness of universe? These are big concepts to ponder but it helps that we can really pick our own concept and go with that.

I believe my Higher Power is God who is personified through the spirit of the universe- the love and enlightenment we find when we meditate and are one with the world and the positive energy of love. To me, the opposite of God is selfishness and ego that creates darkness in the world through the evil it causes. I think my God understands me and my faults and listens to me when I pray. I think my God uses my willingness to grow and find his will to show me more things and take me further on my spiritual journey. I don't know if I believe there's an afterlife, or if it matters. I do know for me all I have is the here and now. And I know when I am not grateful for my life I am not where I need to be.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

I really like how you put that marriedgirl.

I haven't given much thought to the afterlife. I think I'm with you that the important thing is "right now." I know I don't feel concerned about it one way or the other. (i.e. is one / is not one)

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

I've missed a few days of MWO, as my life is a little nutty w/caring for Patty & family. Anyhow, regarding going to meetings & spouses: There is a chapter in the BB (to wives) about this subject. Obviously, it has to be reversed for women alcoholics. There's a section of that chapter on the alcoholic putting time into AA, & how necessary that is. It might be helpful for some spouses to read that.

I do think that once we make Alanon info available for our partners, it's up to them to decide whether they want to go or not...just like ourselves & AA. Just my 2 cents worth.

Cindi: Keep fighting. I don't know how HP intervened in my life & removed the craving, but I really didn't even have to try. It just happened...maybe divine intervention or something. The fact that you keep coming here & to AA is testimony to the fact that you want to stop. It'll happen if you don't give up.

Love, Mary

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Morning friends,

I very much appreciate the input regarding Step 3. Have been mulling the responses over since last night.

Thank you, all of you.

Well. Yet another sober day here. ODAT and baby steps.

Love to all,
Cindi

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Need some more advice please...My partner is suppose to be going to Alanon this monday coming and I mentioned this at my AA meeting last night. I was surprised at the reaction? Some members were very negative about this. One in particular. I was told that they are very anti alcoholics and that they will be told to leave their alcoholic partners? Is this true?

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Good morning everyone!!

Hey rebirth! I suspect that just like AA meetings. Alanon meetings all have their own flavor and feel. and there are ALWAYS negative people in every bunch. I actually went to alanon way back when I was dealing with my ex. and his AL issues when my kids were struggling with being over there , this of course was before I realized I was an alcoholic too. anyway , they were not anti alcoholic.. I think it mostly has to do with your partner's attitude and openness. I think its great that he is willing!! thats a great sign right there. Do you live in a bigger area where he could go to a different meeting if this one doesn't really cut it for him?? Just thoughts.


I'm off to a woman's meeting this morning.

Have a great Sober day all.

[rebirth]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Hi cher
Thanks for your imput because I also believe it's to do with my partner's attitude and openness. There are a few meetings close to me so I will take your advise. Many thanks. Enjoy your woman's meeting.x

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Rebirth: My husband goes to Alanon. The focus is supposed to be on the Alanon person NOT the alcoholic. The people from AA who were negative might be projecting or something. I think it's a good thing that he is going. My husband now has a program & works the 12 steps for himself. He doesn't blame me for being an alcoholic. He knows I have a disease. It's pretty wonderful that he goes (in my opinion). Good luck. Mary

[Cinders]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

retteacher;913784 wrote: Rebirth: My husband goes to Alanon. The focus is supposed to be on the Alanon person NOT the alcoholic. The people from AA who were negative might be projecting or something. I think it's a good thing that he is going. My husband now has a program & works the 12 steps for himself. He doesn't blame me for being an alcoholic. He knows I have a disease. It's pretty wonderful that he goes (in my opinion). Good luck. Mary

Omigosh, Mary. This made me smile. I am so glad you husband is taking care of himself, too, and willing to recognize you have a problem. I hadn't picked up on this in all this time.

Good on your hubby.

I think it is pretty wonderful that he goes to Alanon, too.

Love,
Cindi

Oh, and continuing to send prayers out for your girl and your entire family. I think about all of you often.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Hi all! On Alanon.... I have heard some AAer's "poo poo it" and some of them were definitely joking. Others? I dunno. Since I don't go to closed alanon meetings I don't know what they are like. That said, I know several fabulous couples where one is very active in AA and other other in Alanon and they do lots of stuff together. Those are couples whose marriages I admire. There is also a lady that attends lots of open AA meetings who has been going to Alanon for years. She has toughed out a very difficult marriage (while working on herself, as mary mentioned) for a lot longer than I probably would have stuck with it.

There is an open alanon meeting I attend sometimes that has an alanon, an alateen and an AA speaker. I have always appreciated what the alanon and alateen speakers have had to say, and never got any "anti alcoholic" or "anti AA" vibe from these people.

No harm in giving it a try.

I decided to pass on the 7AM meeting I normally go to on Saturdays as I did some volunteer work today at one of the local shelters. I'm glad I did that. But for the grace of God there go I.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 13 - 18

Even though it was hideously hot, my husb & I went to our Sat. night "Burning Desire" meeting. It was on "First Things First." Pretty wonderful meeting in spite of the heat. Just seeing my friends & feeling their empathy was worth the time & trouble of going.

We're doing OK. Patty is healing slowly & has even started to drive a little. Yes, I'm care-giving a lot, but I'm also going to meetings whenever I can...which is quite often. I'm going to meetings I don't normally attend. That's a good thing for me.


Mary