Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

[cpn1004]

Morning all, I guess for this thread the week is from Monday to Sunday, correct?

I am in California this week, unable to make a meeting yesterday hope to get to one today.
After attending AA meetings for about a year, I finally have a couple of people in my home group that bother me.
Oh No?? Now what? Well I'm trying to "Live and Let Live". One of these members has almost 25 years of sobriety, that is great, but if his version of sobriety was all I had for an example I would be drunk again. As with most issues, once I write them down, they become almost funny.

I had a little bit of a tough time last week. July 13 would have been my mother's 90 birthday (she died April 28 this year) and I thought about her all day. Also I thought that drinking a dozen Budweisers would not make me feel any better.
Have a great week.

[dancelot]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

cpn1004;915258 wrote: Morning all, I guess for this thread the week is from Monday to Sunday, correct?

I am in California this week, unable to make a meeting yesterday hope to get to one today.
After attending AA meetings for about a year, I finally have a couple of people in my home group that bother me.
Oh No?? Now what? Well I'm trying to "Live and Let Live". One of these members has almost 25 years of sobriety, that is great, but if his version of sobriety was all I had for an example I would be drunk again. As with most issues, once I write them down, they become almost funny.

I had a little bit of a tough time last week. July 13 would have been my mother's 90 birthday (she died April 28 this year) and I thought about her all day. Also I thought that drinking a dozen Budweisers would not make me feel any better.
Have a great week.

Hi, Phil - I've found birthdays, anniversaries, holidays are difficult times when we've recently lost a loved one. Even 33 years later, the date of my sister's passing triggers a lot of uncomfortable feelings - these are subconscious, as I don't mark the date on the calender, but inside I know. For alcoholics especially, it is helpful to be aware of this. I'm glad you got through it knowing the Buds wouldn't help. Acknowledging our feelings instead of covering them up is a new experience for us, but it is good to know we can make it through.

On the other members of your group - humor is a great stress reliever - at least he can give you a laugh. Just like here, not all advice is good advice - sometimes the lesson is "well, definitely don't do it that way!"

Hope everyone has a great week - I look forward to everyone's posts. :h

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Good Morning Phil and Dance,

Just a late celebration of my 30 day coin yesterday!!
Someone said in my meeting last night that the itch gets stronger at the 30,60 and 90 day marks!! why??? Right now I feel strong but the meetings really help that. My biggest concern right now is when I go on vacation , we will be going on a road trip and I'm not sure about meetings?? I probably won't really have access to a computer.. ugh. I guess I'll just have to call my sponsor alot.
I've got 2 and 1/2 more weeks before I have to worry about it. so I guess I'll not fret right now.
My routine used to be that on vacation I would search out where I could get my bottle of wine to drink in the hotel room while my hubby would nap!! oh boy lots of changes coming my way.
any advise would be appreciated.
Have a great day all.

[rebirth]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Hi all,
Cherbear congratulations on your 30 day coin yesterday! Fabulous! Glad you posted your thoughts as I am going on holiday in two and a half weeks ( 1st aug). Wont have access to a computer etc. I will take some AA literature but that's about it. Really worried about it too. Look forward to any advice given.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Hi all! Phil, thanks for getting us going for the week. What I have been told about when I have negative feelings about someone, to really introspect. I've heard the saying "if you spot it you've got it." What I've found that means to me is sometimes somebody else's character defects will "glare" at me because my OWN character defect of the same sort is glaring. Just food for thought. Everyone will never like everyone and I'm quite certain everyone doesn't like me! This is a great topic though as we all go through it!

Phil, you are such a great role model for the rest of us proving that we CAN stay sober when traveling and that we CAN find meetings on the road and that we CAN get through difficult losses without drinking! I'm sure this anniversary of your Mom's death brings up some difficult feelings. :l

Dance, I think you are right that our subconscious will ALWAYS know even if we are not consciously thinking of losses.

Cherbear, :yougo: Congrats on 30 days! Wish I could have been there when you picked up your coin!

Rebirth (and Cher) we were talking just today about some issues relating to sobriety when traveling - whether vacation or business. Here are a few ideas - a couple of really interesting ones that I heard for the first time today!

* You can find out in advance where meetings are in your destination area. You can get to the district web sites with meeting lists by first putting in the zip code in the aa.org meeting finder. Or I think Phil uses the iPhone app! (I need to download that!)

* Build an army of a phone list - not just your sponsor! Many many phone numbers! One thing that is nice is within AA, the trading of phone numbers and using them is encouraged. I would not feel put out at all if a woman called me and I didn't even remember her. This "call if you're struggling" mentality is just part of the culture.

* One lady today is traveling to a place where she will not have cell service. Next week, she is bringing a stack of 3X5 cards so we can each have one, and write something encouraging to her in advance. She will pull them out one by one if she is struggling.

* Bring your tools (Big Book and other reading material) and remember you can always talk to your higher power any time, any place.

* Have plenty of activities lined up where you are going. Plan in advance how you will handle urges so you get into your action without even thinking about it.

Those are a few things that come to mind!

I had a meeting today at one of the very well established local charitities to do some volunteer work. I'm going to start by working as a server in the kitchen for one meal a week. They have residential programs whose guests eat meals there, and they also have "walk in" guests. This is a pretty big facility. I am going to training next week to be considered as a volunteer for their family center which is a premiere operation (very few like it in the US). I have to get finger printed and a background check. There are a few things I will tell them about before they pull the report. If I am accepted, they talked about having me be part of the "welcome wagon." When women first check in with their kids (and occassionally husbands too), the welcomers go over the basic ground rules and help them unpack and see if there are items they need. ALL of their basic needs are covered when they come into this program. However, the goal is to get people "up and out" in 1 - 2 years so they have work and can sustain themselves first in an apartment, and then potentially in a habitat for humanity house that they buy (a couple years later). Lots of life skills classes and job skills training and WORK. Anyway...should be interesting.

Well, my chicken is almost done so I'm dashing back to the kitchen. Have a wonderful evening one and all.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Phil: I felt your sadness about today being your mom's BD. What a wonderful legacy that her son can feel the sadness & loss of such an important person in his life.

I had forgotten the "you spot it, you got it" thing. I know that's what goes on w/me when I can't stand someone.

I'm pooped right now: child care, cooking, dog walking. It's a labor of love, but I'm getting old for it. My daughter's doing OK, but I know she is in mourning for what she lost. Reconstruction is underway, but it takes a long, long time. It's time to be patient.

I'll be back.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

I went to a speaker meeting last night. Very big, very crowded. One of the speakers had one of those extreme stories that was just outrageous. The very fact that she is now sober proves to me that there is a HP. Otherwise, I cannot imagine that she'd be alive today. She had a Bill W type of spiritual awakening: all at once, on her knees in the hospital. Incredible story. Mary

[marriedgirl29]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

30 days today!

Hello all-

Took a minute to find the thread glad I found it, just wanted to say I am excited I got to pick up a 30 day chip at my meeting tonight. The bad thing is, I weirdly wanted to NOT do it, bc there was some people in the room I was embarassed about seeing I only have 30 days. But I knew it was a humililty thing and I made myself go get it. I always get the itch worse around 30 and 90, had some bad days last week and felt a lot of anxiety mid day today but I hung in there.

On vacation topic, today I was bored at work and looking at cruises online. All of the sudden, I started feeling weird about how I would ever enjoy a vacation. Then I thought, well I can't drink no matter what. THEN, I caught myself when I got the idea that it would be ok for me to visit a "Pharmacia" if it was just on vacay. Crazy thinking! I know better than that too bc I have tried to "just" smoke a joint or take a pill and immediately ended with drinking usually that very day! It blows my mind how these thoughts slip in. It made me realize I am NOT ready for a vacation yet!

Also, one more really weird thing- I often wake up feeling like I have a hangover, I can't decide if it's such a habit my body is just still doing it or what? Its really strange. I literally feel(and think, before I get oriented) that I'm hungover.

Thanks all!!!! Hope everyone has a good Thursday!

MG29

[rebirth]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Hi marriedgirl,
I have the same symptons in the morning. I also think I have a hangover but am relieved that I have not?? I think it's just my brain thinking that I am still drinking .My cravings are much less than before and not as intense but I still get the odd craving and panic about dealing with life in a sober state.

I just accept that it will take a while to adapt to my new sobriety. My life evolved around drink for over 15 years so I cannot expect to change overnight..

It's like they say in AA...you have to work at your sobriety, one day at a time, it works if you work it. I am really starting to understand the spiritual programm of AA now that I have stopped drinking.

CONGRATULATIONS on your coin tonight!!! Do you remember when you congratulated me for mine? How far you and I have come!! 30 days is a HUGE achievement. Girl you should be damn proud of yourself! Buy youself something nice today cause you deserve it!

I feel great today! Have a lovely AF thurdays everyone.xx

[rebirth]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

DG thanks for the advice. I particularly like the cards. I think I will ask my group to write some words of encouragement to take with me.
I will be travelling to India next week and I am wondering whether they speak english? It 's fantastic that there is a AA meeting anywhere in the world.

[Gaia]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Hi Rebirth,
Wow India that sounds great. What a fabulous trip! And if you come home still AF think how good and strong you will feel!
I have never been to India, but ... apologies if you already know all this!
There are over 100 MM muslims in India. Obviously they don't drink. I think the excessive consumption is likely to come from the Western world, in fancy hotels and dive bars, as so many people live with such poverty even buying a drink is unthinkable. There is a book called White Tiger which is fantastic, and gives lots of insight into the difference between the haves and have nots in INdia. It pokes fun at the Westerner who goes to the Taj Mahal and thinks she is enlightened!
I think there are AA groups in India, actually. Have you looked? Wouldn't that be fun to meet some people there and then maybe have an authentic local experience without AL!

I think you will find lots of English speakers. Have a great trip!

[gyco]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

good one

cpn1004;915258 wrote: Morning all, I guess for this thread the week is from Monday to Sunday, correct?

I am in California this week, unable to make a meeting yesterday hope to get to one today.
After attending AA meetings for about a year, I finally have a couple of people in my home group that bother me.
Oh No?? Now what? Well I'm trying to "Live and Let Live". One of these members has almost 25 years of sobriety, that is great, but if his version of sobriety was all I had for an example I would be drunk again. As with most issues, once I write them down, they become almost funny.

I had a little bit of a tough time last week. July 13 would have been my mother's 90 birthday (she died April 28 this year) and I thought about her all day. Also I thought that drinking a dozen Budweisers would not make me feel any better.
Have a great week.

hi c p,good thread,tolerance of others,i beleive the bible tells us to turn the other cheek,lol,i found the same thing in AA,it is a great,institution,but like many things b4 it,there are flaws,i also beleive bill and dr bob new that,growth in your fellow,women or man,inperfections are taken to another levelwill you succeed or will there be failure,does one fail,i dont beleive so,gyco ps never stop trying,then theyll be failure

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

MG 29 - congrats on picking up your 30 day coin! I'm glad you did that despite your feelings of embarrassment initially. I'm really learning that when I get those feelings of not wanting to do something that I am pretty sure is the right thing to do, it's definitely time to make SURE I do it. Humbling myself and stretching myself has been a blessing for me in this program.

Rebirth - I so enjoy your comments and MG29's discussion as that "freshness" just makes me feel so good inside. My friend who I refer to as Step Coach always says "I love watching recovery." It's all of us together on this path that makes it work I think. Everyone has something to offer - the wisdom that comes from years of experience as well as the fresh enthusiasm of the newly sober. :yougo:

Gaia, that is interesting about India! I have never been there and do not know anything about India really. I would love to travel and see more of the world one day. I think it would be very interesting to go to an AA meeting in a different country, even if no English was spoken. We all have the same thing in common and if the International Conference was any indication (i.e. the Germans we sat next to who spoke no English) some things are just comfortable and familiar in AA. We know the words mean the same thing even in different languages.

Gyco, agree with you that the only way to fail is to stop trying!

Mary, you continue to inspire. I hope Patty is having a great week and continuing to improve.

I will be chairing the meeting today on the 24-Hours a day reading. I love the series of readings this week about unity in the AA groups. About putting principles before personalities. About respecting and honoring our differences as well as our similarities (today's subjec). I'm looking forward to the meeting.

Mr. Doggy's pouting over my hair seems so trivial in light of "real things" going on. I'm praying and asking for his resentment and my own subsequent resentment to be lifted, and asking to know God's will for me today in hopes that I can focus on what is important and not get mentally wound up in Mr. Doggy's attitude. (I have a lot of work to do to be able to just let this petty crap go and let him be however he is determined to be and trust he will get over it, which he always does!)

DG

[Cherbear]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Hey everyone,
Did I miss something DG?? what happened with your hair??
Thanks for the tips for vacation time. Another gal in AA told me to take a stack of grapevines too. But I need to find some first. I also bought the book living sober which I think will be helpful.. AA materials.

congrats MG 29 on your 30 days, I got mine on Sunday!! It is something to stand up and pick one up.

[rebirth]

Weekly AA discussion - July 19 to July 25

Cherbear- Eh? Stack of grapevines? Why would you take those? Do you mean actuel grapevines or am I being silly?

DG - I love your wisdom!I need to hear your words too. Did you get the bling bling earrings? Did you know that I am a goldsmith and make lots of bling bling jewellery? I dont wear any of it! In fact I wish I was musical. How I would love to burst into song when feeling meloncholy, frustrated, angry etc. Especially to tackle cravings... " I have a craving but I doooont care for it tra la la la .." (I swear I am getting sillier as I get older)

Gaia - I was thinking about attending an AA meeting in India and also wondering whether they spoke english. I will definitely attend one if it's nearby. Will also check out this book. Sounds like a good read.Do you know who wrote it? Got one to take along.. a book called "Precious". It's a depressiing and uplifting story at the same time.A teenage girl suffering from abuse from her parents and tolsd she is worthless. ..but she educates herself into a better life.Reminds me a bit of jewels 's hate emails from her ex. I hope she has sorted herself out. Jeez. Worried about her and I havnt even met her!

Hey! So its me , cherbear and MG with recent 30 day coins. Isnt that wonderful!! What's the next coin from that? Three months?